


You Can't Lose At Love

by darkangel1978



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Adaptation, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 115,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel1978/pseuds/darkangel1978
Summary: This story will only cover the last episodes of the 6th Season, namely from 'Castaway' to 'Joey Potter and Capeside Redemption'. While major plot lines will remain as they were on the show, the story will venture into independent variations.The first chapter sets in at the last scenes of 'Castaway'. The rest should be self-explanatory.





	1. Thousand Reasons And One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story a long time ago, back in the heyday of 'Pages of True Love', a board dedicated to Dawson's Creek with a slight emphasis on Pacey & Joey fictions. While you'd still be able to find my work there, I decided to come back from retirement and publish it here, too.  
> One reason is to maybe interest a new generation of DC fans, another reason is the fact that especially older stories on PoTL have been somewhat compromised during the transition from ezboard to yuku, rendering them difficult to read. 
> 
> One perk of it being an old story is, that it is already completly written and I can and will update pretty fast.

 

## Chapter 1: Thousand Reasons And One

 

They were lying on their respective makeshift beds, sleeping bags actually, right there in the outdoor section of the K-Mart.

Joey nibbled nervously on her fingernails while she gazed over to Pacey. He was so close, if she reached out her hand, she would be touching him. He lay on top of his sleeping bag, staring at the ceiling.

Diverting her eyes briefly from his outstretched figure she tried to make up her mind whether or not to tell him what she was thinking of. They used to do that on the True Love all the time, a time which seemed to be so far away and yet as if it was just yesterday.

A sudden movement forced her to look at him again. He had raised one hand to rub his eyes. Joey smiled inwardly. She knew this gesture. It was the first sign that he was tired and sleep would overtake him in a few moments. And it was her cue, it was now or never.

“Hey, Pace, did you...” without thinking Joey started to talk. She had to get his attention before he was drifting into slumber.

Pacey was tired and closed his eyes after staring at the boring ceiling for endless minutes. He felt her eyes on him but he tried to ignore it. After what he had told her, after they had kissed... she had asked for a little time. She wanted to sleep on it before giving him an answer to what...yeah, to what actually? To his declaration that their relationship had been the only thing in his life that made sense? That even two years later, ... even after he ended it, ... even after both of them had been with other people...that even then the only thing he wanted was to kiss her and to be with her? Rubbing his eyes he thought back to the kiss they shared this evening.

Contrary to previous experience she had kissed him back and she didn’t push him away. She wanted to sleep on it. Did this mean she was considering...them? Considering her own feelings? If so she had to have feelings for him...still...and they couldn’t be so clear, otherwise she would have just said that they absolutely had no future together. She didn’t say that. Of course she could only be playing the time card...

Somehow Pacey felt like he had gone back in time to that insecure seventeen years old boy who was hoping against all hope to be with the girl he loved. Back then he got the girl and now? Now he was a twenty year old young man who was again and still hoping to get the girl who had grown up into an amazing young woman.

Exhausted he closed his eyes, praying that sleep would take him away from all these thoughts and knowing that he wouldn’t sleep with her so close to him. As soon as she would be asleep he would start watching over her, just like he always did when they were together, but not ‘together’. He probably would do it even when they were together. His mind was reeling and sleep was far, far away as her voice penetrated the vicious circle of his thoughts.

“Hey, Pace, did you...?”

Without letting her finish he started to respond, “Put all the stuff back? Yeah. Though some of it we're gonna have to pay for, like the clothes.” He feared she wanted to talk about them and suddenly he wished they had more time together before the inevitable end of this adventure would send them on their separate ways again.

Joey shook her head slightly, sighed and tried again, “Pacey, did you...”

Pacey stretched his arms as Joey tried to ask him something for the second time. Naturally she wouldn’t give up so easily, she never did. Without looking at her he raised his index finger and his tongue easily found its way back to their good old banter.

“If the next words out of your mouth are "take out the trash," I will officially have a preview of what it'd be like to be married to you,” folding his hands on his chest he waited for her to pick up on that.

“And?” Joey raised her eyebrow and looked at him.

Pacey chuckled. “It ain’t pretty.” Yes, talking like that seemed to bring them back to safe ground, to everything they knew before. At least for the moment.

Joey smiled and turned back on her back. Playing with her hands she took a deep breath. “I was going to say... is... did you know?”

Something in her voice got Pacey’s attention. It was telling him that the short relapse into their well practiced form of communication was over. Opening his eyes he turned his head and looked at her. “Did I know what?”

Still a little insecure Joey tilted her head as well and answered with a smile, “This was a dream come true?”

“Which part?” Sleep was now extremely far away from him. She got him hooked, again.

“All of it.”

Both rolled to their side, facing each other. Pacey furrowed his brows lightly. He had no idea where this was going. Listening to her voice he punched the little cushion into his desired form and stuffed it between his head and his arm.

Slowly and in a dreamy voice Joey started to describe her fantasy to Pacey. “When you and I were on the boat... I used to dream that we'd be cast away somewhere. You know, your... standard tropical island with the white sand beaches and... giant stars overhead. We'd wear no clothes, and we’d...splash in the surf all day. And then at night... the moon would be this... well, this giant thing. And it was always full.”

Pacey smiled and closed his eyes briefly, picturing the scenario of Joey’s dream. It was a dream he’d love to share. “I like this fantasy. I'd catch fish with my bare hands... make fire without matches.”

“I'd make the fires.” Joey declared determinedly.

Her sudden objection brought him back from his reverie and he stared at her with wide eyes.

“Who paid attention in science class?” she challenged him fully knowing that he couldn’t argument against her.

Pacey closed his eyes in defeat. Leave it to Joey to remind him of his not so flattering school career. “Ok. Good point.”

Smiling triumphantly Joey added, “Besides... it's my fantasy. And I guess I... never told you about it before because it’s...” she chuckled.

Pacey smiled. It was good to see her like this. While listening to her fantasy, a fantasy that included him and them nevertheless, something tugged at his heart. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who was dreaming.

Blushing Joey continued, “...Embarrassing. You know? I mean... not at all original.”

Okay, granted. It wasn’t really original, but it was surely a very tempting fantasy. And then it hit Pacey. A fantasy, not reality. The smile left his face and his tone got serious. “Well, I guess you were right about one thing.”

“What’s that?” the playfulness was gone and Joey was taken aback.

“There are about a thousand reasons why you and I would never work.” Pacey closed his eyes, evading her questioning gaze for a moment.

For a second Joey glanced at him sadly. By telling him about her dream she had attempted to show him how much he meant to her, that this dream hadn’t left her, that she still wanted to be with him beneath the whole surface of sheer friendship. Obviously she hadn’t succeed and he didn’t leave her another choice.

“There's one thing in the pro column.”

Now it was Pacey’s turn to wonder. “What's that?”

Never losing their eye-contact Joey slowly got up and crawled the short distance over to him.

Pacey’s heart started to race and beat wildly against his chest. Hesitant he scooted back, just a little bit to make room for her, but as he did Joey immediately closed the small gap between them again and softly brushed her lips over his.

Pacey swallowed, not really believing and yet feeling that it was true. She was kissing him, she had come to him this time. She had made the first move. Leaning into her kiss Pacey brought his arm to her back, finally pulling her as close as possible and kissed her back, feeling like no time had passed at all since the last time they were kissing like that.

Reassured by his response to her approach Joey raised her hand and caressed Pacey’s cheek. Their kiss deepened and as she felt him tangle his hand in her hair she felt like finally being whole again.

Needing to be even closer to the other, their legs entwined and remembered the positions they were once so used to.

Breaking their kiss Joey touched the tip of his nose with her own and drew back an inch, whispering, “Doesn't mean what you think it means.”

“Well, then what does it mean?” Pacey’s voice was husky.

Joey smiled and her eyes told him a whole different story than what her mouth was saying. “Well... it means that... well, I'm cold.”

“Oh,” Pacey nodded knowingly but reached for the cover of the sleeping bag and draped it over both of them. 

Joey cuddled into his chest, relishing in the feeling of his arm around her shoulder and looked up to his eyes. “And... I'm still thinking about it... and I miss you, Pace.”

Kissing her forehead, Pacey whispers, “I miss you, too.”

A smile formed on his face. This was better than any fantasy. Lying there with her was reality, a reality he had been so sure of only being a fantasy. Tightening his arms around Joey, he felt her relaxing against his body and a feeling of utter content invaded him.

Burying her head under Pacey’s chin Joey closed her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to crawl inside of him and closing them off against the world. Blindly reaching for Pacey’s hand she found it already moving towards hers and she couldn’t help but sigh upon the knowledge they shared of each other. Pacey just knew that she wanted to hold his hand, hooking her index finger around his thumb, like always.

 

~*~

 

Neither of them woke up during the night. A feeling of total happiness and security had settled over them and just being with each other was the guarantee of the most peaceful sleep they had since their breakup so long ago.

Bright and harsh artificial light coaxed Pacey awake the next morning. Yawning and rubbing his face he raised his head sleepily. It took a few seconds before he realized that the warm and extremely pleasant weight lying on his left arm was Joey, who was still asleep and curled up against him. In a rush the events of the last night came back to Pacey and just as a smile lit his face he saw the employee from the evening before standing over them. The boy was obviously not too pleased to find them midst among the displays.

Swaying from one foot to the other the boy stuttered, “ Dude... this is totally... uncool.”

This was so very much not the kind of wake-up call Pacey would like to get after the most wonderful night they had spent together in those two years apart. But it was just typical for them.

“Um... Joey?” Pacey cleared his throat and gently stroked Joey’s back in an attempt to wake her. 

Joey stirred barely noticeable and mumbled only half consciously, “Five more minutes.”

As much as he would love to keep her in his arms a bit longer, this wasn’t an option. “No, no. No, I think now would be a good time.” His whispering in her ear forced Joey to open her eyes and moan, “Why?”

She didn’t want to let go of him, but Pacey pointed behind her and slowly started to get up. Following his pointed direction Joey’s eyes met a blushing teenager who couldn’t stand still for a second and wildly gesticulated with his hands. Shocked at his presence Joey sat up and struggled to put the slippers on, that Pacey had chosen for her and stretched her hand towards Pacey, who was already standing. While Pacey helped her up, the boy found his voice again.

“Like...I mean... you're allowed... to, like, test things... and stuff... but the manager is gonna be... like, his mind is gonna be blown.”

Joey frowned and wished to be anywhere but there, at least to be clothed in something different than a pajama.

Pacey on the other hand stayed calm.

“This... no need to call the manager, 'cause, you know, we were just about to leave.” 

This explanation seemed to calm the employee, because suddenly he smiled and stared at Joey as if he had only then realized she was standing there beside Pacey. “Hey.”

Joey smoothed her hair and stared back at him uncomfortably. “Hey.” Turning to Pacey they shared a glance, not knowing what else to do. Pacey stuffed his hands into his pockets. He couldn’t blame the kid to stare at Joey and after all they were kind of trespassing. As long as the boy only stared like that he wouldn’t interfere. He knew that Joey could handle him by herself just fine.

“So, is this... like, your girlfriend?” the boy asked admiringly without taking his eyes off her.

Before Pacey could say anything Joey straightened and said like it was the most common thing in the world, “No. We just sleep together from time to time. Do you have a problem with that?”

Raising her eyebrows Joey walked past him towards the restrooms to get dressed, leaving Pacey behind with a big smile on his face while the boy’s mouth almost dropped to the floor. “Very nice,” he managed to say, obviously impressed.

 

~*~

 

Pacey wiggled his eyebrows, unable to hide his smirk. He could only imagine the hormonal turmoil the teenager was in after what Joey had said to him. He followed Joey to the restroom where they had left their coats and clothes. Reaching the door he stopped and knocked. “It’s me, Jo. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Joey turned towards the door and her smile greeted Pacey as he stepped into the room. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Pacey returned her smile with an even bigger one. A small part of him was wary about what would happen to them, now that the night was over. The bigger part of him was saying to hell with it. They obviously still felt a lot for each other and second chances didn’t came by very often. He wanted to believe they might have one of those after all. Maybe he was a hopeless romantic, or maybe he was just a glutton for heartbreak to come, but in the end it would always come to the same result. Whenever or wherever Joey was concerned he would go and take whatever would face him, because she was right. No matter how many justifiable reasons there were for them not to be together, there was still the one that shattered all of them: love.

“That was quite a show you put up for that poor boy.” Pacey closed the door and leaned against it.

“Yeah, well. I just wanted to introduce him to the realities of the 21st century: Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.” Joey grinned and tried to close the zipper of her dress.

“So bad girls go and spend the night with some guy they casually know in a K-Mart, huh?” Pacey walked over to her and put his hands on her hips, stopping her struggle with the zipper on her back. “Here, let me help you,” he easily moved the zipper before pulling her back into his chest and making eye-contact with her through the mirror.

“Maybe, yeah... for example.” Joey shrugged and let her head fall back on Pacey’s shoulder while her hands were resting on his.

“What else do bad girls of the 21st century do?” Pacey tilted his head to touch Joey’s softly.

“Everything.”

“Everything?” Pacey raised his eyebrow.

“Yes, everything. They want to make their dreams come true, whatever it may take.” Joey swallowed and turned in Pacey’s arms to face him directly.

Pacey looked down into her brown eyes and took a deep breath before asking, “And do you make your dreams come true, Jo?”

“I’m trying... I guess,” biting her lip she raised her hands and locked them behind Pacey’s neck, “It’s not so easy... fulfilling dreams...”

“I know.” Pacey pulled her tightly against him. It wasn’t easy and it probably never would be, but he wanted to try.

“Ohh...I’m sorry. I... I didn’t know somebody was in here.” One of the cleaning personal stuck her head into the restroom and grew stiff at the sight of Pacey and Joey. Without another word she backed away and shut the door behind her.

Joey sighed against Pacey’s chest and squeezed him before taking a step back. “You’d better get dressed or we’ll have to face the manager’s rage.”

“Maybe, but...Jo?” Pacey bent forward and kissed her once again, before whispering against her lips, “Boys of the 21st century do everything, too.”

 

~*~

 

A few minutes later Pacey and Joey were dressed and walked towards the cash registers. Strolling through the aisles they waited until a few more customers populated the store before they put the items they had used some way or the other during their involuntary whistle-stop in front of a clerk.

As the woman rang up Joey’s slippers and her pajama, Pace turned towards Joey, “So, this is it.” Their adventure ended profanely at a cash register.

Joey smiled sadly, burying her hands in the pockets of her coat. “Yes, it is.”

“There were no security tags on these?” the clerk looked confused from Pacey to Joey after examining the pajama.

“Oh. No. You should probably look into that.” Joey explained and the woman seemed to be content with that and put the item into a bag.

Joey reached for the DVD and handed it over. “And this.”

“A DVD that’s... opened,” the clerk looked up again to find Joey nodding.

Right then Pacey remembered the razors and reached into his pockets to give the opened pack to the clerk as well. “Oh. And, uh... this, too.”

Joey watched the woman nervously, who got more and more irritated by the second.

“And a razor that’s...opened.”

Pacey stroked his chin, that felt somehow naked to his touch. He sighed. “Yeah.”

The clerk nodded slowly and checked their total. “Ok, and your total is 98.15.”

“I can pay you back. My purse is...” Joey threw in, a little shocked by the amount.

Pacey reached for his money and shook his head. “I got it. Seems a small price to pay for a dream come true.”

For a second their eyes met and both smiled. Turning to the side Joey’s thoughts drifted back. Pacey was right. It was a small price for her dream and maybe she could make his dream come true one day as well.

Not quite understanding what was going on, the clerk smiled as well. “I certainly hope you found everything you were looking for today. “

Pacey took some notes out of his purse and gave them to her. “Well...not everything, but we found what we needed, which, as I'm sure you know, is sometimes just as important. In a spiritual sense. 'Cause, you know, if you found everything that you needed today, what would be the point of waking up tomorrow and doing it all over again? It just wouldn't seem worth it.”

The clerk’s eyes widened in utter confusion and darted helplessly towards Joey. Something was very odd about those two persons.

“Don't worry. He's on a one-day pass from the asylum.” Joey declared with a serious expression. The woman turned back to Pacey who shrugged and smiled.

Joey wasn’t finished yet, “But...in all fairness, I should let you know that I will be writing a letter to the home office about this.” Maybe it was a little cruel to play with the poor woman like that, but she couldn’t help herself.

“You will?” the clerk frowned concernedly.

“Yeah. Because this store... is perfect just the way it is. Don't change a thing.”

Pacey had to look down to stop himself from bursting out in laughter. The woman was at a complete loss of words now and just handed Joey one of the two bags.

Joey took the bag and mumbled, “Thank you,” as Pacey asked, “Home?”

“Home.”

Pacey nodded and turned to leave the store, completely forgetting that there was another bag. Rolling her eyes Joey reached for it. “You know, you could offer to carry one of these things.”

“Sure.” Pacey quickly took the heavier bag from Joey’s hands, a little embarrassed that she had to remind him.

Grinning Joey decided to play a bit with him for his small gaffe. “And you are letting me drive. Right?”

Pacey jerked his head towards her,  **“** Drive? My car?” a short and bemused laughter escaped him. “Do I appear to have lost consciousness? Because that's the only circumstances under which you would be driving my car.”

Shaking his head he closed his fingers around the car key protectively.

“You wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't taught me how to drive in the first place.” Joey bumped her hip playfully. She loved to tease him.

“But you see, I don't have a problem, because...” while trying to find a way out of her elusive suggestion Joey interrupted him. 

“We'll see, Pace.”

“You'll see your way into the backseat if you keep this up.” Pacey informed her dryly.

Joey licked her lips and didn’t say anything. They walked over to Pacey’s car and threw the bags into the backseats. Pacey opened the door to the front passenger seat for Joey but hesitated. Squinting against the morning sun he studied her face.

“You didn’t really mean that, did you?

“Mean what?” It was cold and Joey shuddered.

“Driving my car... you didn’t really want to, right?” Pacey bit down on his lip.

Joey’s mouth morphed into her famous lopsided smile. “Why? Would you let me if I really wanted to?”

Pacey lowered his gaze to his feet. “You’d be the only one I would ever let touch my baby... and only because I know that I eventually managed to show you how to drive stick and how you’re supposed to touch a stick in the right way.”

Joey smiled widely. It was good to know that he trusted her with everything, even with his beloved car. And for whatever reason her mind conjured some not so PG free associations about how he taught her to touch a stick...

“Awww, Pace. I’m feeling really honored, but I think I’ll have to take a rain check on that. I’m a little tired and I don’t want to take any chances with your baby. But, thank you.” She stepped closer to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek before getting into the car.

Pacey silently sighed with relief and jogged around to the driver seat. If she had insisted, he would have let her drive. He might have had to sit on hot coals then, but he would have let her drive. It was true, if anyone would be allowed to drive it, then it would be her. Again for one reason versus a thousand.

 

~*~

 

Despite the early hour traffic was slow and it was getting late. Pacey kept stealing side glances to the clock while calculating the time he would have left after dropping Joey off at Worthington to drive home, shower and put on some fresh clothes. He was sure he would end up being late and thus forced to endure one of Rich’s speeches about the right attitude towards the job. He sighed and dragged his eyes back to the road.

Joey sensed his discomfort. The last minutes they had rode in silence. Shyly she placed her hand on his thigh to get his attention.

A hot rush raced through him as Joey touched his thigh and Pacey had to swallow hard before tilting his head towards her to show her that he was listening.

Joey had a hard time herself to concentrate because she remembered all the times she used to touch him like that when they were in a car together. It was like fire was branding both of them. Nevertheless she couldn’t bring it over her to remove her hand.

“You know, it’s getting late and... it would be even later if you’d to drive back home before going to work... and Worthington is somewhat in the middle between your house and your office... so... I thought...” Joey knew that she was rambling and stopped to take a breath, “...maybe you’d like to come up to my room to... take a shower and we could have some breakfast... before you go to work?”

Pacey was surprised, but her suggestion was only logical and besides that... there was nothing he’d rather do then spend some more time with her.

“Yeah, I’d like that... thank you.” Their eyes met briefly, smiling again and when Pacey looked back at the street he placed his hand over hers on his thigh, holding it in place.

 

~*~

 

“Okay, there we are.” Joey opened her door and let Pacey walk through it before her.

“Yeah.”

They stood in the middle of the room for a moment in an awkward silence. Pacey cleared his throat and placed the bags that were holding Joey’s stuff on her bed.

“That was some night, huh?” he chuckled and walked back to her, unsure if he was allowed to take her in his arms.

“You can say that again.” Joey reached tentatively for his hand and smiled when he laced his fingers with hers.

“I’m sorry that you missed your no-strings-attached-date.”

“I’m not.” Pacey tugged at her hand and pulled her closer.

“You’re not?” Joey gazed into his eyes and searched for the unspoken truth in them.

“No. I wouldn’t exchange last night for anything else in the world.” Pacey raised her hand and kissed it lightly.

“You know, I’m not really sorry either.” Joey’s eyes lit up as she found nothing but seriousness in his eyes.

“I know,” Pacey whispered and cradled her face in his hands. “Thank you for sharing your fantasy.”

“It doesn’t have to be a one-parter ...” Joey whispered.

“I hope it isn’t.” Pacey traced her lips with his thumb before replacing it with his lips.

Joey’s hands found their way into Pacey’s hair as they deepened her kiss. When they finally had to come up for air, she leaned her forehead against his.

“Now go and take your shower. I’ve more time left than you and while you freshen up I get some breakfast for us, okay?” She didn’t really want to go, but they had to be reasonable. Pacey had a job to go to and she needed to prepare herself at least a little bit for Hetson’s class.

“Alright.” Pacey sighed. He knew she was right.

 

~*~

 

After a quick breakfast it was high time to get into the office, but Pacey was stalling.

“So, that’s it now, huh?”

“I guess so... for the time being...” Joey bit down on her lip.

“Yeah, for the time being.” Pacey played with his car key, staring at Joey, who was standing only inches from him. “Umm... can I... call you tonight?” again he felt like the seventeen years old boy he used to be.

“Yeah, I’ll be home around 6pm.” Joey smiled. She felt like being sixteen again, only this time she knew what she wanted.

“Okay, talk to you later then.” Pacey closed the gap between them and kiss her softly. “Have a nice day, Potter.”

The simple fact of him calling her by her last name after kissing her, sent shivers down her spine. “You, too, Pace.”

Pacey nodded and slowly stepped away from her. He had almost opened the door, when he returned again for a last passionate kiss.

 

~*~

 

Later that morning Pacey sat at his desk in the office. Of course he had been late, of course Rich had already waited for him and naturally he had to listen to his litany, but nothing could change is extremely good mood.

He wasn’t quite sure what was happening to them, but the one thing he was sure of, was that it resembled a damn lot to a second chance for them.

He was still wearing the same clothes like the day before, only now they bore the faint trace of Joey’s scent and that was exactly what helped him through the day.

 

 


	2. Close Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NC-17 for parts of this Chapter.

## Chapter 2: Close Encounters

 

Two days. Forty-eight hours and counting.

Pacey sat on his couch and stared at the newly acquired Bertha Jr. He constantly flipped channels without really looking at what flickered over the large screen. The hands of his watch were far more interesting, although they annoyed him with their slow motion. He could swear they didn’t move at all but were just laughing at him.

Two days since he had seen Joey. They had talked on the phone, of course, ... hours to be correct, but that wasn’t enough. Now he was waiting, waiting for her shift to end.

Two days and a few hours since they had been locked in the K-Mart, two days since they first gave themselves a second chance. They did, didn’t they?

“Trouble is you could only marry one of us,” the man in an old fashioned movie said nonchalantly to an invisible woman.

Somehow this sentence did the trick. Pacey supported himself by propping one hand on the backrest of the couch, stepped with his right foot on the seat and jumped easily over it. He walked straight to the kitchen window and almost forcefully hiked the blinds up, before opening it slightly and peeking through the chink.

It had to be fate that the apartment was facing Hell’s Kitchen. He could see people walking in and out, but none of them were Joey. He pondered their conversation from the afternoon while staring at the bar.

Finally after two days they had time and were free to meet after Joey’s shift. He had offered to pick her up, but she refused. Working at a bar often entailed the possibility of working overtime, for example if the next shift staff came too late, or if you had to do the final account. Additionally his apartment was just on the other side of the street, so what were the chances that something could happen to her? She said it would be more comfortable for him to relax a little at home instead of hanging around at a crowded, loud bar and wasting his time.

Hours ago he thought it might indeed be better to sit at home, but that had changed with each passing second he actually had to wait since he came home.

A smile spread across his face as he decided to ignore her suggestion and walk over to her. He couldn’t wait any longer. Flipping the TV off he grabbed his leather jacket and headed for the door.

 

~*~

 

Joey climbed the stairs to Pacey’s apartment. She was out of breath and leaned against the wall opposite of his door. She needed to calm down before knocking. There was no way she’d let him see her in this worked up and flustered state. It wasn’t only because of the fact that she had been running from the bar and up the stairs, climbing two steps at the same time, no. Actually her heart had raced like mad for two days and some hours. Maybe, if she could stop her brain from spinning, she would even be able to tell the exact seconds since this strange electricity ran through her veins. A power which brought her to life, the same power that awakened her three years ago, or was it four years ago? And when she lost it for two years, well...she turned back into a shell that housed a computerized version of her former self.

She just wasn’t used to being alive anymore, thus her breath had a lot to catch up to.

Taking a deep breath she straightened her ponytail, smoothed her coat and pushed herself towards the door. She raised her hand and realized it was shaking... badly. Joey let her hand sank down again. How could she be that nervous? It was just Pacey after all.

Joey licked her dry lips as her last thought permeated not only her brain but also her heart and she realized what was wrong with it. Pacey had never been ‘just Pacey’, not once did this adverb fit him. Not when they were only banter partners, not when they looked behind their hardly penetrable facades and slowly started to discover all the well hidden traits and things their personalities consisted of, especially not when the sparks started to fly and kindled a fire that turned into a conflagration, destructive sometimes but always embellishing their lives, her life, and most importantly unquenchable.

She had told him once that he, that his touch, his presence made her feel alive. When they were torn apart for so many reasons, which in retrospect seemed to be inane and inconsequential, she continued to live even though it was a life less worth living. For some time now all the buried but never forgotten emotions came rushing back to her and for the past two days her senses and every fiber of her body were pulsating with life. She wasn’t used to it anymore and she was literally aching to let him soothe and fuel her needs.

He wasn’t ‘just’ Pacey, he was special, unique and above all he was her true reason to live.

“Great, now I turn into a breathing and walking romance novel of the worst kind,” amused Joey shook her head and reached out to finally knock on the door she had spent decidedly too much time in front of. Her hand was still trembling, but now she was sure it was out of anticipation.

 

~*~

 

Pacey struggled to put his jacket on with one hand while the other opened the door and was stopped short when his chest nearly connected with Joey’s outstretched hand.

His eyes widened in surprise and he could only stare at her. She looked so beautiful, her face was slightly flushed and her eyes were sparkling. The grin she desperately tried to hide told him, that he had to be offering a very amusing sight. Admittedly his position was bordering on ridiculous, one hand in the sleeve one hand now hovering in midair and he knew he was staring.

Joey waved uncertainly and finally settled with aiming for brushing her hair back, momentarily forgetting that it was firmly tucked away in a ponytail. At least Pacey seemed to be as nervous as she was and a small smile formed on her lips.

Clearing her throat she was the first to break the expectation filled silence, “Bad timing? ... You’re on your way out?”

Pacey shifted his weight and smiled. “Uh, no. It’s ... cosmic timing. I was on my way to see you.”

“Really?” Joey raised her eyebrow. Yes, he was nervous and obviously as antsy as she was to see each other. He had probably been on his way to walk over to the bar.

“Yeah. I was, uh....hoping that we could stand awkwardly in the doorway, which ...uh, is working out perfectly for me.” Pacey knew that he was caught. Her knowing smile told him that she knew he had been on his way to pick her up.

“Hmmm, that’s too bad, because I was really hoping to spend my evening somewhere else...” Joey saw his face falling a little and added quickly, “... maybe like inside your apartment?”

For a second Pacey feared she had changed her mind about them, but then his smile returned full force. “Great idea,” stepping back he let her enter the apartment and kicked the door close.

Joey watched Pacey close the door, unable to move any further away from him. He wore the navy V-neck pullover she had given him for Christmas. She always associated every shade of blue with his eyes and couldn’t resist buying it as she espied it in the display of a GAP store.

Pacey noticed that Joey was absorbed in thoughts and softly touched her shoulder as he walked up behind her. The light touch startled her a bit and she shivered when she felt his breath against her neck.

“Can I get that for you?” Pacey whispered and helped Joey to discard her coat.

“Umm, sure... thank you.”

Pacey threw her coat and his jacket on the couch without moving away from her. As soon as his hands were free they gently rubbed her arms. Joey leaned back into his chest and rested her head against his shoulder. Her eyes fell shut and she instantly relaxed in his embrace.

“How was your day?” he asked pulling her closer and kissing her temple.

Joey sighed and tilted her head to keep the contact to his cheek. “To tell the truth? First Hetson made me an offer that I can’t possible refuse, because he reminded me of my not so brilliantly presentation of ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’...”

“What? You didn’t follow my advise?”

“You mean throwing ‘postmodernist’ and ‘subjectivity’ into one sentence?” Joey laced her hand with his and felt him nod behind her. “I did that... and maybe your theory would have worked out fine... in high school, but my professor dearest wanted to know a little more,” she blushed as she remembered the embarrassing situation in class when he laughed at her and the fact that he had caught her being unprepared.

“I’m sorry. What does he want?” Pacey questioned and nuzzled her neck.

“Me babysitting his teenage daughter under the pretext of giving her extra tuition.” Joey turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Well, that isn’t that bad now, huh? I mean, Joey Potter lives to educate poor, failing students...” Pacey brushed his nose against hers, remembering various occasions where she had tutored himself back in school.

Joey shrugged and gazed into his eyes. “But ... ah, forget it. And then? This afternoon was right out of a waitress’ worst nightmare. ... How was your day?” she really didn’t want to talk about her job right then.

“Too long, boring and filled with waiting.” Pacey chuckled.

“Waiting?” Joey smirked.

“That were very long two days, don’t you think?” he asked searching her eyes.

“Yeah...” Joey wound a small strand of Pacey’s hair around her finger, reveling in the fact that she could play with it again. “Too long.”

“Way too long.” Pacey licked his lips and his voice was barely audible as he greeted her properly, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Joey moistened her lips and felt her heart beat high in her throat.

Pacey lowered his head and brushed his lips tentatively over hers. He wasn’t sure how far this kiss would go but as he felt her response to him, it was all the invitation he needed. The tip of his tongue slowly trailed over the lines of her lips, teasing her, begging her to open her mouth to him.

Joey complied quickly and followed his lead. Their tongues danced and dueled with each other, re-conquering the familiar territories.

What had started as a soft and cautious kiss, turned more and more passionate and demanding and Pacey knew that he had to stop before the small rest of self-restraint he had left would be thrown out of the window. No matter how much he wanted to ignore the small voice of rationality inside his head and throw Joey on the couch to have his way with her, he wouldn’t give in to those animalistic needs, not yet, not so soon.

Placing a last soft kiss on her lips he drew back and studied her eyes that flew open upon the loss of contact. He could see her desire in them and a sparkle and light, he’d love to believe was only for him and nobody else. Before backing away from her he kissed her cheek and turned towards the counter.

“Uh... can I get you anything? Something to drink, maybe? Or are you... umm... hungry?” he ran his hand through his hair, where he could still feel Joey’s fingertips.

“Umm... a coke, maybe... if you have one?” Joey hopped on one of the barstools.

“Sure.” Pacey reached into the fridge and poured them two glasses of Cola. Putting one down in front of her he remained on the other side of the counter. He needed the space between them, otherwise they would undoubtedly end up right on the couch.

Pacey watched Joey tracing her fingertip over the rim of her glass. He could tell she wanted to talk about something, but didn’t know how to start. She bit down on her lower lip before looking at him again.

“What is it, Jo?”

Joey smiled. Of course he would know that she was up to something. He always did.

“You know, I... over these past two days... I was thinking and...maybe, no, not maybe... actually I’m thinking about it for a while now. I never really stopped...” she sighed shaking her head softly.

“You’re rambling, Potter. Breathe.” Pacey reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. Squeezing it reassuringly he waited for her to continue.

Again a lopsided smile appeared on Joey’s face. Caressing Pacey’s wrist with her thumb she started again.

“You don’t regret it, do you? I mean, after our kiss right now... do you?”

Pacey bent forward, raised their hands and kissed her knuckles lightly. “No, I don’t regret anything...and I hope that you don’t regret anything either?”

“No. How could I? I told you I’ve been thinking about the... possibility for some time, more often then before.” Joey took a sip from her glass, never letting go of Pacey’s hand.

“Really?” Pacey questioned. He had been thinking about it, too, but had pushed those thoughts away more than once because he was afraid.

Joey nodded. “But then, reality, or rather the concept of our reality...” her voice trailed off, “It just doesn’t normally work out like I’d want it to... and you can’t cheat on reality.”

“What do you mean?” he raised one eyebrow questioningly. He had a vague idea of what she was talking about, but still he had to ask.

“Do you remember reading those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books as a kid?” Joey licked her lips nervously.

“Well...,” Pacey chuckled, “You and I both know that I was pretty much a functional illiterate until the ninth grade. So, no... not really.”

“Yeah, right.” Joey chuckled as well. “I did, but... I cheated on them. Whenever a chapter wasn’t going the way I wanted, I wouldn’t even finish. I would just go back to the beginning until... I got a happy ending.”

“Everybody does that, Jo,” he looked at their still laced hands.

“Yeah, I know,... but it’s not exactly the most realistic way to live your life. In reality..., as much as I wish I could sometimes, ... I can’t just go back to the where it started to go wrong and... choose differently. I can’t take it back once it’s done. I can’t undo my mistakes.” The corners of her mouth started to tremble and she had to look down. The only thing that kept her from falling apart right then was holding on to Pacey’s hand.

Pacey swallowed. She was afraid, just like he was. Once they said they could be scared together. Maybe it was time to be afraid together.

“What makes you think that one false move is gonna ruin our entire story?” his voice was soft and serious at the same time.

Joey pursed her lips in order to get the word out without choking. “History.”

“That was then. Joey...” he moved closer and lifted her chin with his free hand, gently forcing her to look into his eyes. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears and he found it difficult to stop his own eyes from tearing over. Maybe this was the most important conversation in his whole life. They just had to get it right. He moved his hand higher up and cupped her cheek. “...I’m serious. We’re older now... and I do believe that you can learn from history. That’s the whole reason of history. I mean, it’s not like I’m just gonna run out the door if I don’t like your choice.” Pacey cleared his throat.

“Okay, well... if that’s what you think...what are you afraid of?” she hadn’t missed the small hint of pain flickering in his blue eyes.

Pacey took a deep breath before he answered her. “I’m afraid of...that the whole... possibility thing is really just a mean trick. Like a dream and ... the moment you think it’s true... you wake up and ... the dream is gone.” There, he had said it.

“See?” Joey sighed and reluctantly stood up, breaking their contact. “I don’t like this chapter. It’s too negative.” She didn’t really want to let go of Pacey’s hand, but she was afraid he could feel how cold her hand had just become. She walked over to the couch and sat on its back.

Pacey tilted his head and followed her. He wasn’t about to drop this. He had felt her hand turn cold in his and he knew that she was anxious for what he would say next. He pulled her vacated barstool over and sat down in front of her.

Joey searched Pacey’s eyes and spread her legs a little so that he could move closer to her. He accepted her silent invitation but allowed them some personal space and folded his arms around the backrest of the stool.

“Maybe a chapter seems to be negative... but if you don’t follow through with it... you’ll never know how it turns out,” he paused and waited for her to make eye-contact. “I thought being locked in a K-Mart was a pretty negative thing... but look where it got us.”

Joey smiled a little. He was right.

Pacey returned her smile and continued, “I guess, maybe... I’m just trying to play out all the worst case scenarios here, because... that you and I...I hope, that we have grown enough to be together without always having to replay our history. ‘Cause...” he propped his hands on the couch on either side of her, “...I’d really like to look into our future.”

“You want a clean slate.” Joey stated more than she was asking him.

Pacey shook his head slightly. “Well... yes and no. I don’t want to erase our history. I just don’t want my prior offenses being held against me.” He held her gaze. They’d never talked about their break-up, never addressed all the feelings they had and it was mostly his fault, because first he left her and then he fled on a yacht straight to the Caribbean.

Joey understood what he was referring to without actually saying it. She had broken their physical contact and now she restored it. Just like he had done a few minutes before she put her hands on his cheek, simply holding him.

“Pace... I... we agree that you and I have, umm... you know, said things... and done things that we...regret, but...we’ve changed, haven’t we?”

Pacey leaned into her touch, feeling relieved. “Yeah, yeah...”

Both sighed. They had finally closed the door to a piece of history that had hurt them for far too long. Joey bent forward and rested her forehead against his.

“Where do we go from here?” Joey whispered pulling back a little.

“Well, where do you want us to go?” he opened his eyes. He needed to hear her say that she wanted to look at their future together just like he did.

“I... I want to be with you. I want to see what the future, our future together is like.” After saying this she exhaled, releasing a breath she had been holding for days.

“That’s where we’re going, Jo.” Pacey’s whole face lit up. She had said it. “See, that chapter wasn’t so bad after all, was it?” They were so close then, that their warm breaths were mingling and their lips were almost touching.

“No, there was a quite positive turning point hidden within.” Joey smiled.

Pacey’s smile widened and he slowly moved in for a kiss. Joey’s lips met his halfway and they soon got lost into one another.

A low grumble originating from Pacey’s stomach caused Joey to pull back and giggle. “Are you hungry, Pace?”

Pacey patted his stomach grinning. “Yeah, well... Pizza certainly has a very nice ring to it right now. What do you say?”

“Sounds good to me.” Joey watched Pacey get up and reaching for the phone. “And by the way? It only serves my theory that you’re always eating at key moments in our relationship... or at least thinking about eating.”

Pacey looked up from the menu of the pizzeria he was calling and winked at her. “I like that combination... ‘our’ and ‘relationship’.”

“Me, too,” she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, listening to what he was ordering.

 

~*~

 

“So that prole de facto paid for a new TV? I never thought he would.” Joey readjusted her position on Pacey’s lap so that she could look up at him.

After their pizza was delivered they settled on the couch and Pacey introduced Bertha Jr. to Joey. They surfed the channels like they used to do and finally found a repeat of one of Pacey’s favorite Simpsons episodes.

Pacey tightened his arm around Joey’s waist to hold her in place. For him this was the best evening he had had in a very long time. He felt so at peace and just being home with Joey, watching TV without needing to pretend to be someone he wasn’t... it couldn’t get any better. Well, maybe it could... but that was a whole different story.

“Well, I don’t know if he paid, or his insurance or whatever,” he shrugged, “Emma said she would see to it before she left for England. Anyways... comes right after her momma, huh?” Pacey quipped and tickled Joey lightly.

Joey giggled and slapped his hand softly. “Stop it, Witter.” She turned her head back towards the gigantic screen, which caused Pacey to sigh. Her little movement wasn’t as innocent as it appeared to be. Joey smiled and stroked his arm that was still holding her securely.

“You know, I’m beginning to understand why you are so infatuated with... her. It’s nice and spares you the need to go to a movie theater.”

“Did you just acknowledge my amazing baby as one of our own and called her by the appropriate pronoun?” Pacey squealed jubilantly which sent Joey right into another fit of giggles.

“Maybe,” she calmed down after a few seconds. “Well, Pace... now what does that make me? A mother of what, two electronic and motorized babies of yours?”

“That... would be correct, honey.” He kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear, “I hope you’ll act according to your motherly duties... you know, they need a lot of loving.”

“As long as you know who comes first in this ... family.” Joey turned again and snaked her hand around Pacey’s neck, pulling him down to her.

They continued to watch TV but Joey had something else on her mind that she needed to talk about. “Pace?”

“Hmmm?” Pacey diverted his eyes from the screen and faced her as she hesitantly sat up.

“Umm... you said something about learning from history.”

“Yeah... right.” She had his full attention now.

“Right and... I was thinking...” she paused trying to find the right words. Biting her lips she moved to straddle him. She couldn’t be close enough to him.

Pacey was a little surprised but raised his knees to give her a more comfortable position and waited for her to continue.

“Well, the first time... I mean, when we first... got together... we kept it to ourselves... and it was nice and exciting, but... I can’t help and wonder what would have happened if we had told everyone right away.” Joey crossed her hands behind his head.

Pacey inhaled sharply. He had thought about that, too. “What are you saying here, Jo? Do you want to... tell them now, I mean... you know what I mean.” True, maybe things would have turned out differently if they hadn’t waited so long to tell their friends about their relationship back in high school. The question was if they should tell them now, right after they were trying their second chance. Somehow he feared the moment they were forced to face the world outside.

“Yeah, I know.” Joey kissed the tip of his nose. “We know that we’re back together and that’s basically all we need to know. I mean, it’s none of their business actually... and ... I don’t care what they might have to say about it. I just don’t want to hide like we did back then. I want to be able to kiss you or touch you ... or simply hold your hand no matter where we are and who we are with.”

She put him first, she really put him and them first. Their relationship was her priority. Pacey nodded. “I want that, too.” He sighed and pulled her closer to him. “Although I won’t say it will be all nice and easy... I mean, Jen and Jack...”

“They’ll have a field day.” Joey interrupted him, lacing her hand with his again.

“Probably.” Pacey chuckled. Jen and Jack had always supported them. He wasn’t worried about their reaction. “But I don’t know about Audrey and ...”, he took a deep breaths. He really didn’t want to fall back into the love triangle which by now could be called a square. On the other hand... it was different this time. He has ended things with Audrey, not as soon as he might should have, but he had. And Joey and Dawson, well... they weren’t together and Joey seemed to be very sure of what she wanted. Of course he preferred to forget about what happened on her nineteenth birthday. It wasn’t important anymore.

“And Dawson.” Joey finished his sentence. “Audrey, well... I don’t think she will hate us ... and she’ll understand.”

“She was right after all.” Pacey trailed small circles on Joey’s back. Both remembered the Christmas dinner from hell, where Audrey threw uncomfortable truths at most of them right before crashing Pacey’s new car into the Leery’s porch. “Not to mention that those three are constantly around us... so they’ll know soon enough... Dawson on the other hand...” Pacey hated to bring him up but he had to. Dawson was on the other side of the country, most of the time at least. It would be more than convenient to forget about telling him and then they would be back to square one.

“Yeah, well... we’re not talking that much and after the last fiasco which was my attempt to send him an email, I’ll wait until the opportunity arises.” Joey recognized the doubt in Pacey’s eyes, “Don’t worry. As soon as I talk to him, he’ll know. Hiding from him and ... lying to him about having sex with you... that was one of the chapters in my book... that I’d never choose again.”

Pacey kissed her exposed neck, determinedly not to let his insecurities surface again and he believed her. Somehow he felt this time they were starting under a lucky star for once.

Joey moaned softly as Pacey trailed small kisses up and down her neck and then along her jaw line. Her hands went into his hair and she slid even closer towards him so that their ribcages were touching and not even a sheet of paper would have fit in between them.

Pacey groaned against her neck. She was so close and it had been so long. She sat perfectly still but having her straddle him was enough to cause his jeans to tighten considerably. He had no idea how far or how much they would go and do but that wasn’t important. He was happy with anything right then. She had always been the single ingredient he needed to be happy. He reached up and tugged at the elastic band that was holding her ponytail in place. Finally it relented and he eased it down without causing a painful tug at her hair. Once freed the long strands framed her face and he tangled his hands in them. He had always loved that, feeling her silky hair on his hands, on his skin... it was one thing he had missed so much. Gently guiding her head his mouth captured hers in a searing kiss.

“Stay with me tonight?” he heard himself beg hoarsely.

Joey smiled against his lips and unable to utter even the smallest sound she nodded and returned the heated kiss.

 

~*~

 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to get all of this done till tomorrow morning.” Jack whined into his cell phone as he turned the key around and opened the door.

Kicking it close behind him and still holding on to the phone he frowned. The apartment was dark except a bluish shimmer that drifted over from the TV screen. Of course it wasn’t that unusual that the lights were out and that someone was watching TV, what was so extraordinary was, that two shadows, which would have easily passed as a single one, swayed on the couch and induced certain unmistakably sounds, which on the other hand could only be produced by two certain persons, and this was a very remarkable fact, because said people hadn’t engaged in any activity were such sounds could occur in two years.

“Well, that happens if you spent too much time courting that new beau of yours instead of doing your homework, Jack. You don’t want a repeat performance of last year, do you?” Jen sighed. “Jack?”

Jack was too stunned to answer her. Instead he turned around and flipped the island light over the counter on. With its help his eyes could confirm what his ears had told him before.

“I really don’t believe this!” he exclaimed loudly and fell into an unstoppable laughter as two pairs of eyes stared at him like deer caught in a headlight.

“What?... JACK?... What’s going on there?” Jen yelled, but she still got no answer.

“Hi, Jack.” Joey greeted their friend sheepishly.

“My, my... Joey... and ... Pacey. I’d like to say that I’m surprised to find both of you here, like that... on our couch, but I can’t.” Jack used all the willpower he possessed to get his laughter under control and therefore his expression was rather stoic as he moved over to them and flopped down on the other end of the couch. “Couldn’t you at least have waited till Saturday to jump each other? Two freaking more days?” he asked defeated.

“Hi, Jack... and what about.... bye, Jack?” Pace held Joey tightly right were she was. Of course Jack had to come home to find them like that. Of course he wouldn’t be so subtle and leave them alone.

“Nah... I missed your public displays of affection too much.” Jack smirked.

“Your cell is screaming at you, Jack.” Joey pointed with her chin towards the tiny phone he was still holding.

“Huh? Oh, yeah... right,” he raised the phone but held it a few inches away from his ear.

“Umm, sorry, Jen... and by the way... you’ve won.... again. Guess who’s dryhumping right before my eyes here.”

Jen’s victorious scream wafted over them and Jack crunched his face painfully.

“Don’t tell me you two maniacs had a bet going on us...again,” Pacey sighed and buried his head in the crook of Joey’s neck.

Jack raised his hands in the air and grinned. “’fraid so. After what you told me, and what Joey told Jen about your night at the K-Mart... we couldn’t resist. And the lovely Miss Lindley just got herself 50 bucks.”

Joey opened her mouth and stared at Jack incredulously. “You ... talk about ... what I told Jen...in private?” her eyes widened.

“Sorry.” Jack was still grinning.

“Give me that phone!” Joey demanded and extended her arm to grab it from his hand. She was still straddling Pacey and her movement caused Pacey to shiver and he had to close his eyes.

Joey pressed the phone to her ear and hissed, “You perfidious, sneaky hussy! How could you...” Joey was partly annoyed at her disloyalty, on the other hand she couldn’t be mad at her.

While Joey was babbling into the phone, Jack started his own interrogation. “Spill it Pacey, since when are you to together again... since the K-Mart, since today... give me all the details.... and hurry up I need to get as much information as possible so I can at least beat Jen to that,” he nodded adamantly, licked his lips and bent forward.

Pacey opened his mouth but decided otherwise and snatched the phone from Joey’s hand.

“Lindley, stop talking. Alright, Jack, Jen... not that it’s your business anyway... Jo and I are back together ... officially since tonight. That’s all you need to know, and all you will hear from us. Basta. Now go and get yourselves some other poor people to entertain with, because Jo and I have different plans,” he paused and gazed into Joey’s eyes who smiled at him. “Say goodnight, Jo.”

“Goodnight.” Joey repeated obediently as Pacey tossed the phone back at Jack who stared at them open-mouthed.

Joey attempted to stand up but Pacey shook his head. “No, Potter. You stay right were you are,” stroking her back lovingly he moved one arm under the curve of her ass while the other tightened around her waist and stood up. Joey got the hint and as soon as he was standing, wrapped her legs around his waist.

Without the slightest stumble Pacey crossed the room towards the spiral staircase that led up to his bedroom. Grinning at Jack, Joey waved before nibbling at Pacey’s earlobe.

Slowly closing his mouth, Jack raised the phone again, “Now you’ve just earned yourself another 50 bucks... Mr. Neanderthal is just dragging his prey up to his cavern.”

 

~*~

 

Pacey’s room was dark and cool. Only the moon cast a silvery light over his bed. Pacey sat down carefully on it, with Joey safely on his lap.

They were silent for a while, just losing themselves in each others eyes.

“This ...umm... doesn’t have to mean that... we... I don’t expect... I just wanted to get away from our way too nosey friends...” Pacey stammered. Now, in the seclusion of his room, their closeness and the heat that constantly rose between them posed a whole lot of different questions.

Joey’s eyes darkened and she licked her suddenly dry lips. “You know, ... I actually liked your little Neanderthal stunt...”she rocked softly against him. She could feel his arousal underneath her and the aching deep inside her core became almost unbearable. She had missed him so much for so long.

She had given her virginity to this gorgeous man, he had been the first who showed her what love really was, he was the first who broke her heart, yet he was the only one she had ever loved, the only one she trusted completely, no matter what happened. Nobody could ever live up to him. She had teased him once, that he might only be the first of a bunch of others... the truth was, that she wanted him to be her first and her last.

The two years they’d lost didn’t matter. They were right where they were supposed to be.

“Jo...” Pacey gripped her hips and involuntary thrust up against her, needing the contact and craving the feeling of intimacy and deep connection he had only ever felt with her. Still he wasn’t sure if they were ready for it so soon. He was afraid they were moving too fast and he knew that if they didn’t stop now, they wouldn’t be able to later. His heart and his mind were on overdrive.

Joey recognized the different emotions that washed over his face. She knew he was afraid to move to fast, afraid they were putting their chance on risk by giving in to their lust and wanting. But like the first time she was sure it was right. And she loved him even more for his concern.

“What do you want, Pace?” she whispered in his ear and placed tiny kisses all over his face.

“Jo...” he tightened his hold on her, “... you know...God... I want to feel you so bad, I ...”, he sighed and cupped her face in both hands, “This is too important, Jo... I don’t want to mess this up.”

“We won’t mess up, Pace.” Joey covered his hands with her own, “I... need you, Pace. And it feels so right, I... we feel so right.” Tilting her head to the left she kissed his palm tenderly before a mischievous smile spread over her face. “Don’t tell me you want to wait for nine months again...”

Pacey inhaled and tried to think straight, but he couldn’t find anything to hold out to her. “Are you sure, Jo?” his voice faltered. He had to ask, with her he just had to.

“I’m very sure, Pace.” Joey hesitated briefly, “I love you, Pacey.”

The last doubts he had melted away like ice in the sunshine. She was his sunshine. “I love you, Joey.”

She smiled and kissed him. Pacey’s resistance was broken and suddenly there were way to many clothes in his way. Sliding his hands up her arms he held them above her head and motioned for to keep them up, while his hands traveled back down again, lightly teasing her sensitive sides and finally slipping under her thin shirt.

“How can you keep warm in this flimsy thing?” he wondered almost silently, but she had heard him and giggled softly.

Smiling himself he lifted the shirt inch by inch and kissed and nibbled on every inch of skin he exposed. He felt her breathing hitch and knew that he was driving her insane... and he loved it.

He didn’t know how long it took to move it up and off her body, but when he finally tossed it on the floor her hands eagerly tugged at his pullover and she jerked it over his head, tousling his hear in its wake.

“Impatiently much, Jo?” he grinned trailing his hands along her spine, back to the front and up to her breasts, relearning every curve of her body.

Joey arched her back towards him, as he flicked his thumbs over her already engorged nipples and teased them with his teeth through the thin material of her bra.

“Take it off, Pace,” she begged and he did in one swift movement.

Joey blushed as she felt his eyes on her, as he cupped her exposed breasts and kissed the tender skin. It had been two years since he had seen her naked and suddenly she felt self-conscious. Would he be disappointed?

“Don’t.” She heard him whisper and blushed even more because he had caught her. “You’re beautiful, Jo.” He always knew what to say and how to reassure her.

Joey relaxed but pulled back just enough to send his wife-beater flying to join the clothes on the floor. The moment their skin came into contact, powerful jolts of electricity rushed through them and made both moan with delight.

Pacey stood up and let her slowly slide down his body until she was safely standing in front of him. They were half naked and Joey took the opportunity to look at him. His chest seemed to be broader, the muscles more defined. Roaming her hands over his back she kissed a trail from his shoulder down to his nipple, were she lingered for a while, grazing it with her teeth until it became hard as a pebble, and then over to the other nipple, showing it the same attention.

Pacey let his head fall back, reveling in the sensations Joey’s kisses and light touches were creating on his skin. His hands rested on her hips, just above the waistband of her jeans. He pulled her hips flush to his own, showing her or better put, letting her feel how much she affected him. He was already starting to feel lightheaded and as Joey sensually started to grind against him, he nearly lost it.

Burying one hand in her hair he guided her head up and feverishly attacked her mouth. The small, whimpering sound he elicited from deep inside her was like a trigger for him. As much as he loved the teasing and the anticipation, he needed to be with her more than anything. It had been so long. Nibbling on her lower lip he brought one hand between them and fumbled with the button and zipper of her jeans.

“Pace...” Joey moaned and let her hands work the fly of his jeans.

Both had to take a step back to push the offending garments down and were finally able to kick them off their feet. Standing there with nothing but a pair of boxers and a pair of a sweet nothing made of silk, Pacey searched Joey’s face again for any signs of doubts or insecurity, but there were none.

Joey answered his silent question by grazing his prominent erection through the last confinement with her fingertips. She teased him with her feathery touch before she boldly slipped her right hand inside his boxers, closing her hand around his shaft, while her left hand pushed them down.

“God.. Jo.” Pacey growled deep in his throat, holding on to her for dear life as he couldn’t help but thrust back in her hand.

Joey remembered everything she had discovered years before, how he liked to be touched, how firm she could squeeze without hurting him, how good his hard cock felt in her hand. Stroking the whole length of him she applied more pressure and let her thumb circle around the tip.

Pacey felt as if he was to burst any second and bit the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder. He knew he was probably leaving a mark, again he couldn’t help it. “You have to stop, baby... or I won’t last much longer,” he stilled her hand with his own. Bringing his mouth back to hers he kissed her hard and enveloped her in his arms

Pacey guided them back down on his bed, careful not to put his full weight on her. His hands cupped her round breasts again, massaging them gently as his tongue licked her heated skin in fanciful patterns down to her belly button, where he gave her a foreshadowing of what he intended to do further south in a few minutes.

Joey writhed under Pacey’s ministrations. One hand clawed at the pillow beneath her head while the other was tangled in his hair. Her hips jerked up as she felt his teeth tugging at her panties until he succeeded in pulling them down her legs.

“You’re so beautiful, Jo.” Pacey whispered in awe as his eyes lovingly wandered over her exposed body. She was blushing at his compliment, still unable to accept it but she didn’t try to hide from him.

Pacey skimmed his hands over the inner side of her legs, coaxing her to part them for him. Joey closed her eyes and gave in to her need. She spread her legs to make room for Pacey to settle between them, but he took his sweet time of torturing her. He caressed her legs, her thighs with his hands before moving back to her feet and kissing his way up again, alternating between her left and right leg.

“Pace, please...” Joey whimpered. Her skin was unbelievably hot and tingled wherever he was touching her.

“What do you want, Jo?” Pacey’s voice dropped several octaves and he stopped touching her.

“I... please...”

“All in good time, baby,” he chuckled and moved a bit higher.

Finally he reached her center and Joey held her breath, anxiously awaiting his next move. She wanted to touch him, but he was out of her reach and she could only pray and wait.

Pacey inhaled the heady scent of her arousal and licked his lips. If everything that had happened over the last days seemed to be unreal and dreamlike this made it more than real. They were together and she wanted him. He’d never understand why, but she wanted him. His heart skipped a beat or two and his dick demanded almost painfully to get closer to her tantalizing, hot core, but he ignored it. He wasn’t finished with what he had started yet.

He ran his fingertips lightly over her damp curls before he kissed her quivering mound. Her pelvis jerked up and he had to hold her hips down to stop her from moving.

Joey uttered small, needy sounds, sounds he’d love to think only he was allowed to hear. He smiled at her reaction as his tongue darted out and licked her slit before flicking it over her hard nub.

Joey tried to muffle her scream by biting on her own hand and used her legs to keep him right where he was.

Pacey’s head started to feel dizzy. He wanted to taste her, he needed to taste her. Still holding her hip down with one hand he used the other to gently spread her velvet folds and dipped his tongue inside of her as far as it would go.

Her silent but ecstatic cries almost sent him over the edge and he knew and felt that she was teetering on the brink as well. Sucking the sensitive nub into his mouth he slipped first one, then two fingers inside of her and stroked her inner walls. He felt her muscles contract around his fingers and looked up to catch a glance at her face. Her head was trashing from side to side and suddenly she stared down at him. She tried to hold back.

“Pace, I... don’t...” her voice was raspy, “... want to cum like that... now..-,” and turned desperate, “I want to cum with you buried deep inside of me, please.”

The sound of her voice and her words were all it took to convince him. Entangling himself from the grip her legs had on him, he slid up over her slick body, kissing her heated flesh until he came face to face with her. Remembering how she loved to feel his body on hers and how she used to say that his weight over her made her feel safe, he supported himself only with his forearms propped up on either side of her head.

Her skin was glowing and her chocolate eyes were almost black with passion. Pacey captured her mouth again, letting her taste herself, before brushing some damp strands of hair, that were sticking to her temple, from her face.

Joey closed her eyes again and showered Pacey’s chest with tiny kisses while her fingernails were raking over the shifting muscles in his back and down to his ass. She could feel his hard dick poking against her thigh and she wanted him inside her.

Pacey shivered and reached for the drawer in his nightstand to fetch a condom as Joey suckled on his earlobe and whispered, “Let me do that, sweetie.”

He couldn’t speak and simply nodded. Raising his chest from her he handed her the small package and watched as if he were in trance how she ripped it open. Following her hands he looked down. He had never been so much aroused like then, well... maybe there had been one day... back at the ski lodge. He watched as her hands closed around his shaft and carefully sheathed him. It was almost too much.

Joey rolled the thin layer of rubber carefully over him, all the while stroking his throbbing member and when she was finished, she squeezed his balls gentle but firmly and guided him to her pulsating hole.

Pacey’s low growl sounded more animalistic than human. “Look at me, Jo,” he pleaded and when her eyes met his, he cradled her head in his hands.

Their eyes never left one another as Pacey moved his hips forward and entered her in a single, strong and smooth stroke.

For a moment they remained perfectly still. They had waited and dreamed of this moment and now that it was really happening, they wanted to make it last a little bit longer. After all the time apart their bodies and souls connected in the most intimate way possible. Both silently vowed that this time their connection would never break again.

“Keep looking at me.” Pacey begged and as she nodded slightly, he kissed her and almost withdrew from her completely, just to thrust back into her a little more forceful.

Pacey rolled his hips against hers, again and again, while alternating between hard and fast and deep and slow strokes, creating their very own rhythm.

Joey met each of his thrusts, following his lead and losing herself in his eyes. Making love to him, watching and feeling his soul reach out to her made her feel like floating on air and she could only hope that her eyes were telling him just the same.

The stillness of Pacey’s room was only filled with the sound of their bodies moving against each other as one, and the hissing of their labored breaths, sprinkled with hushed exclamations of their names.

Joey threaded one hand through his thick hair, that was clinging to his forehead and rose her head from the pillow to kiss him passionately as she brought her knees up and wrapped her legs around his slender waist to bring him even deeper inside of her.

She gazed at his eyes intensely as he filled her to the maximum, like nobody else ever could. She felt the head of his penis bump against her cervix and a wave of pure bliss and completion washed over her.

Pacey sank deep into her welcoming heat which fit him like a glove, like they were made specifically for each other. Bending down he assaulted her parted lips with torrid kisses and delved his tongue deep inside the cavern of her mouth, mimicking the movements of his cock.

A deep and needy groan escaped his lips as Joey raked her fingernails down his spine and squeezed the cheek of his butt teasingly.

The need for their ultimate release grew frantic and Pacey increased their rhythm in renewed urgency. One hand ran down her side and lingered on her right breast, pinching and teasing the erect rosebud, before it followed the line of her body further south until it reached her hip. Intensifying the grip on her, Pacey slid his hand underneath her hip and lifted her slightly up. The shift in their angle roused a feral cry from Joey and he could feel her muscles tightening around him. He held her pressed against him and embedded the myriad of expressions and feelings washing over her face in his heart and mind.

Joey felt her orgasm build and roll through her whole body like thunder. She cried out his name but didn’t hear her own voice upon the rush of blood through her veins. Her nails dug into his back as she arched against him. She really tried to keep her eyes locked with his but as the ecstasy hit her full force she couldn’t keep them open. Joey surrendered to the pleasure and pressed her head against Pacey’s chest.

“Let go, baby... I’ve got you.” Pacey whispered in her ear before he followed her into the heavenly abyss of their passion, his release triggered by her own.

Unconsciously trying to prolong the seizing waves of rapture and delight that were vibrating through them, they kept rocking against each other until their bodies were spend and sated with exhaustion and happiness.

Pacey allowed his body to rest on hers, pressing her into the mattress, but Joey didn’t mind at all. She loved being completely covered by him like that. The aftershocks were still rocketing through them and both tried to catch her breath.

Joey lovingly caressed the back of his head, that lay on her chest and kissed his temple. “I love you, Pacey... I love you so much.”

Pacey listened to her racing heartbeat, that matched his own and calmed with its slowing down. Hearing her merely mumbled declaration of love he looked up and kissed her deeply. “I love you, Jo.”

Reluctantly Pacey pulled back, not really wanting to disentangle him from her, but knowing that he couldn’t stay within her much longer.

Joey sighed protesting upon the loss as he slipped away from her to dispose the used condom. Pacey smiled and returned to her quickly, scooting up next to her he entwined her hand with Joey’s and pulled her into his arms. Joey sighed again, this time content to be in his embrace again.

 

~*~

 

It was still very early and dark when Joey woke up the next morning. They hadn’t left each others arms during the night and she was lying almost completely on top of him. She smiled and kissed Pacey lightly on his chest. They hadn’t bothered to put on any kind of clothes and she loved the comforting warmth the contact of their bare skin created.

Careful not to wake Pacey, she craned her head to catch a glimpse of the green flashing digital alarm clock on his nightstand. The display informed her that it was a quarter to six. Snuggling back into Pacey’s chest she shifted a little and felt his morning wood nudging her thigh. A mischievous glimmer appeared in her eyes as an idea formed in her mind. She remembered that Pacey had set the alarm to a quarter past six, so that they’d have enough time to get up and have breakfast together before Pacey had to go to work and he wanted to drop her off at Worthington. Joey reached over to the clock and turned the alarm off. They had at least thirty minutes.

Pacey stirred and yawned sleepily. He had just had the most sensual and hottest dream ever only to find that it wasn’t a dream at all when he opened his eyes. Joey was placing tiny kisses all over his chest while her hand was slowly pumping his morning hard-on.

His sharp intake of breath and the moan that escaped his lips let Joey know that Pacey had finally awoken. Without stopping her ministrations she looked up and smiled. His deep blue eyes stared at her in surprise and excitement.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Joey scooted higher towards him and kissed his lips tenderly.

“That’s one hell of a good morning.” Pacey circled her waist with his arms and pulled her back on top of him.

“Good morning to you, too, sweetie,” he captured her mouth with his, “Are you sure that I’m not dreaming?”

“Does this feel like a dream to you?” Joey asked challenging and squeezed him a bit more.

“Hmmm... actually... it does.” Pacey grinned and flipped them over. “You and me, here... together... that’s like a dream for me.” His tone turned serious and again he searched her eyes for any possible regrets.

“A dream come true, Pace.” Joey stroked his cheek.

“How...” Pacey started to ask but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. “Now this makes it a little too real for my liking,” he sighed and reached out to grab the trouble-maker.

“Pacey Witter,” he answered gruffly.

“Pacey, it’s me... Doug.”

“Doug?” Pacey cast a bewildered glance at Joey who watched him expectantly. “Hey, how you doing? You know, it’s kind of earl....”

“Pacey,” Doug’s voice cut in and Pacey frowned at his graveness, “... it’s Dad. We’re at the hospital right now. I don’t know yet... I mean, what’s wrong with him... but it’s serious. Probably something with his heart.”

Pacey paled. “Okay... uh, what hospital are you guys at?”

At the word hospital Joey’s eyes widened and she touched Pacey’s arm. She could tell it had to be very serious.

“We’re at the Capeside Memorial.” Doug sounded helpless and Pacey had never experienced him like that. A strange feeling developed in the pit of his stomach, fear.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay. ... Umm, Pacey? Thanks for coming down. It... means a lot to him.” Dough sighed, “Bye.”

“Alright.” Pacey didn’t know what to say. “Bye,” he flipped the phone off and tipped it lightly against his chin.

“What’s wrong Pace, what’s happened?” Joey shook his arm softly to get his attention. He seemed to be deep in thoughts.

“Huh?” Pacey blinked a few times before he was able to focus on Joey.

“What happened at home? You said something...”

“Oh,... uh... Doug called, because Dad... they’re at the hospital. Doug said it was something with his heart, I don’t know.” Pacey rubbed his eyes and shook his head. “I...I need to drive down there, I’m sorry,” jumping out of the bed he grabbed the clothes he had worn the day before and started to dress.

Joey took a deep breath, digesting the information that Pacey’s father was obviously seriously ill and in an hospital. Again. First her mother, than Dawson’s father, now Pacey’s dad. It just wasn’t fair.

“I’m coming with you.” Joey stood up quickly and started to get dressed herself. She wouldn’t say she was sorry. His father wasn’t dead... and even then... . Joey remembered all to well how she felt when everybody told her how sorry they were. People she didn’t know, people who didn’t really know her mother and the worst thing was that they were saying it, but they didn’t care. They just said it out of civility and because society demanded to offer one’s condolences to people who lost somebody. She wanted to be there for Pacey, she wanted to be the shoulder he could cry on, the person he could confide in with all his worries and fears and not only the person to share his happiness.

“Jo...I appreciate that, but...” Pacey ran a hand through his hear, “... you have classes, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do... but that doesn’t matter.” Joey closed the zipper of her jeans and walked over to Pacey. “I know how grueling hospitals can be ... and I want to be there for you,” she cradled his face with both hands and Pacey leaned into her touch for a moment, closing his eyes.

“I know... but you don’t have to. I don’t know what’s wrong with him... and I don’t know how long I’ll be there...and you hate hospitals...” Pacey opened his eyes. There was nothing he wanted more than her to come with him, he really dreaded the drive to Capeside and even more what would await him once he got there. On the other hand he didn’t want to impose on her, especially not because he knew how much she abhorred hospitals and the memories it would conjure to be there.

“That’s the point. I’m not letting you go there all by yourself. I do hate hospitals, but I love you, Pacey... and shared sorrow is only half as bad.” Joey smiled a little, “And I absolutely don’t care how long we stay there.”

“Jo, you...” Pacey protested weakly.

“Nope. It’s not gonna happen, Pace. I’m coming with you so we might as well stop discussing and get it on.”

Joey raised one eyebrow and stared at him.

“Thank you, Jo.” Pacey hugged her and kissed her cheek, feeling better now that he wouldn’t have to deal with his fears alone.

 

~*~

 

A few minutes later they were sitting in Pacey’s car and he was about to put the key into the ignition but his hand trembled. Pacey sighed and turned his head towards Joey who sat quietly next to him.

“Umm... I don’t think I’m in the condition to be driving now... could you...?”

“Sure.” Joey took the offered key from his hand and they switched places.

They drove in silence for most of the time. As it was still early there was only light traffic and apart from that the commuter traffic was mainly inbound to Boston while they were headed in the opposite direction.

The sun was rising brightly when they were approaching Capeside and as they passed the ‘Welcome to Capeside’ sign, Pacey cleared his throat.

“Jo? Could you pull over for a second?”

Joey cast a worried look at him but stopped the car.

“I was thinking, all the time right now... What if I’m too late? I mean... we don’t have your usual run of the mill kind of father – son relationship. And now... I can’t help and wonder, what if I’m too late? What if he dies and we never ever really talked to each other?” Pacey swallowed hard before he turned his head towards her.

Joey cradled his face in her hand and shook her head. “You won’t be too late. Don’t think that. Remember? Witter’s aren’t quitters. Your dad is a strong and stubborn man, he won’t steal himself away like that.”

Despite his pain Pacey had to smile at the reference. He really wanted to believe her, that his father wouldn’t quit life right then.

“You two might not have a lot in common, and you probably won’t ever win the first prize in father-son-relations, but... Pace...” Joey gently forced him to look into her eyes, “... you’re here right now. You’re on your way to see your dad and you want to be there for him. You wouldn’t do that if you didn’t care about him. And I’m sure, deep down you know that you love him... and your father knows that, too. Because.. when it comes hard on hard?” Joey bit her lip, “Both of you are there for the other.”

Pacey lowered his head before he gazed at Joey again. “I’m scared, Jo.”

“I know.” Joey nodded. She knew all to well how he had to be feeling. “We’ll get through this. Don’t forget we don’t know yet...how serious it is. You have to think positive, okay?”

“Okay... I’ll try.” Pacey swallowed and kissed the palm of her hand that was still caressing his cheek.

“Ready to go?” Joey smiled at him encouragingly and waited for a sign from him.

“Not really, ... but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

~*~

 

The parking lot at the Capeside Memorial Hospital was almost empty and the wind sent chills through their bodies.

Joey shivered as they walked towards the main entrance. She felt like the cold was cutting right through to her bones. Maybe it wasn’t only the weather. Maybe it was the hospital and what was waiting for them.

Ducking her head she raised her shoulders and berated herself for the umpteenth time for buying a winter coat that did nothing but look pretty.

Pacey noticed her trembling and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his warm body. “We really have to do something about your choice of wardrobe, Potter,” he tried to joke, but he felt as something was slowly strangulating his air supply with every step they took towards the building.

Even though the parking lot had been fairly deserted the inside of the hospital was the complete opposite.

Nurses were bustling about, collecting breakfast trays, preparing the morning round and a few people were already sitting in the waiting area, hopeful that they came early enough to catch a doctor as walk-in patients.

Pacey’s arm slipped from Joey’s shoulder but his hand instantly sought for hers and entwined their fingers. They hurried down the hall and when Pacey spotted Doug leaning on the counter he used his free hand to point him out to Joey. “There’s Doug,” his voice cracked. Joey nodded and took a deep breath. Despite her attempts to reassure Pacey that everything would be okay, she was frightened herself. From her experience nothing good could come from being hospitalized but she needed to be strong, for Pacey’s sake she simply had to be.

“Doug... Doug, hey.” Pacey called as they walked up to his brother.

As he heard his name being called Doug turned around. Joey tried to read his expression before he had the chance to say anything. He was wearing his uniform and there was no doubt that he was extremely tired. He had probably been working the night shift at the station when he got the call.

“Where is he?” Pacey put one hand on his stomach trying to soothe the sick feeling that was rising full force by then.

Doug was relieved that Pacey had arrived and a little surprised to find Joey standing beside him. “Hey,... they just took him down for some tests, ...but he’s up, Pace. He’s walking at least,” Doug smiled tiredly, “He refused to sit down in a wheelchair.”

Pacey exhaled, feeling a bit better at this information. It couldn’t be so bad when his father was already rebelling again. Still the feeling of uneasiness wouldn’t budge.

Joey squeezed Pacey’s hand before she let go of him and stepped forward to hug Doug. He seemed lost and lonely. Obviously none of the other family members where there and he was alone.

Ever since the day Doug told her that Pacey was about to leave on True Love for three months at the end of their junior year in high school, Joey regarded him like a kind of big brother of herself and she wanted to comfort him at least a little.

“Hi, Doug,” she kissed him lightly on the cheek before stepping back.

“Hi, Joey.” Doug nodded thankfully and managed to smile again. “Mom is driving Carrie home. She was exhausted, the pregnancy and the worries about Dad.... I don’t blame her.”

Joey’s eyes widened. She didn’t know that Carrie was pregnant... again. Pacey wasn’t interested in this information and walked restlessly around and peeked into the room that was closest to them.

“Is this his room here?” he asked with disbelief.

“Yeah, ...yeah. They’re gonna be right back.” Doug rubbed his eyes.

“Uh, Dougie...” Pacey frowned, “...what’s with the old guy? Is that the waiting room for the morgue or what?” he pointed back to the room and raised his hands questioningly.

Doug closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. “Pacey,... just have a seat, will you?” He nodded towards the waiting area, but Pacey didn’t seem to listen to him.

“Why didn’t you guys get him a private room?” Pacey interrogated persistently.

“Look, we tried, okay?” Doug clenched his teeth annoyed. Pacey’s demeanor was starting to wear thin on his nerves. “There wasn’t exactly time to argue over this and we weren’t really interested in the room, but in what was wrong with Dad.... if you can imagine that.” Doug added sarcastically.

“Well, there’s time now, isn’t there?” Pacey studied his watch.

“Pace...” Joey touch his arm lightly. She knew he was trying to hide his fear behind the arrogant behavior, but it was nevertheless more than inappropriate to lash out on Doug like that.

Pacey locked eyes with Joey and saw her plea to calm down. He knew he sounded harsh, but he couldn’t help it. Lowering his voice he turned his head towards his brother again. “What kind of tests is he having anyhow?”

Doug sighed. “Just routine tests, Pacey.”

“Was it a heart attack?” Pacey asked quietly and hung at Doug’s words as he answered.

“No, not exactly,” Doug frowned and wrung his hands helplessly. “It’s what they call and....uh... exaggerated arrhythmia. I don’t understand much about the whole medical science, .... so I...”

“Well, who can I find around here who does know what the hell they’re talking about?” Pacey couldn’t believe that Doug seemed to be content with this incomplete information and glanced around to find a doctor or at least the responsible nurse.

Doug licked his lips, trying to keep his countenance but his features hardened as he snapped, “You know what, Pacey? ... I’d love to sit and walk you through this whole thing... in fact, that’s kind of what I intended, but you don’t get to blow in here and accuse me of not knowing what I’m talking about. I’ve been here all the time...”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that it takes some time to drive down from Boston...” Pacey defended himself heatedly.

Joey frowned on the exchange, but she couldn’t do anything. Both men were far to enraged at each other as to listen to her.

“Yeah... I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I was more concerned about dad, mom and our sister than to listen to the medical lingo and jotting down notes to give you a report, while trying to keep Mom and Carrie from having a nervous breakdown. So... I’m really sorry if things aren’t up to snuff for the Wall Street wannabe... maybe it wasn’t enough to concentrate on more important things, like the fact that dad survived.” Doug pressed his lips together and walked away from them in a huff.

Pacey stared after his brother and his shoulders slumped as he realized that he had gone too far. Joey ran a hand over her face, gazing sadly at Pacey.

“Was that really necessary, Pace?” her voice stayed calm, not wanting to add more fuel to his bad temper. “Doug only wanted to help... you shouldn’t have jumped at him like that.”

“I know...” Pacey placed his hands on Joey’s waist and rested his forehead against hers, “ ... I didn’t want to... it’s just...I’m so worried, Jo. I mean, from what he said, dad seems to be quite okay, under the given circumstances at least, but...” he sighed and pulled her closer, “... we still don’t know exactly what’s wrong with him and Doug... why hasn’t he asked the doctor what this all means for him?”

Joey guided his head gently to the crook of her neck and stroked the back of his head softly. “I know, Pace... I know. I’m sure Doug would have asked if the doctor had the time to answer his questions properly. Right now it’s more important that they take care of your dad and diagnose what’s wrong with him.”

Pacey nestled up to Joey’s comforting embrace and closed his eyes. “I guess I need to apologize, huh?”

“Yeah.... and here comes your chance.” Joey pulled back slightly as Doug returned and passed them to sit down in the waiting area.

Pacey sighed. He had no idea what to do.

“Doug’s been here for hours... and before that he probably worked the whole night. Go and get us some coffee and then... tell him you didn’t mean anything by accusing him... and everything will fall into place eventually,” she advised.

“Okay... I’ll be right back.” Pacey kissed her cheek and turned around.

 

~*~

 

Joey watched him go over to the vending machines before she walked towards Doug, who had slumped into a chair and stared up to the TV that was mounted at the ceiling.

“May I?” Joey tilted her head towards the seat next to Doug

Doug turned around and looked up to her. “Sure.”

They remained silent for a while and watched the shopping station that advertised some outstanding cooking device.

“So... umm, Joey,... how comes you’re here?” Doug broke the silence and added quickly, “Don’t get me wrong...but, well, I’m a little surprised.”

“Yeah...” Joey smiled at him, “... we decided to give us another chance. We’ve spent a lot of time together lately and ... you know, I never stopped loving him. And I was there when you called this morning... I couldn’t let him drive down here by himself.” Joey’s voice trailed off and she stared at her feet.

Doug nodded and a smile lit his tired eyes. “I don’t think he ever stopped loving you. Those problems you two had back in high school... Pacey’s insecurities played a big part in that. He always seems to be airily and everything, but deep inside...”

“Yeah, I know... and I didn’t help him to work on these insecurities. I made a lot of mistakes.”

“Both of you did.” Doug paused, “But it’s good to see you two together again. Aside from the reason... umm... why we are here... I can see that look in his eyes he always had when he was with you and I can see how he turns to you, how he reacts to you...” Doug sighed. “It’s a little embarrassing, but... I’ve always envied you for the kind of relationship you two share.”

Joey blushed and nudged his arm with her elbow. “Thank you, Doug. ... You know that he didn’t want to lash out on you like that, don’t you?”

Doug shrugged and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“No, really. He’s just... scared and... it’s too much for him. He feels helpless and tries to hide it with this...” Joey raised her shoulders and blew out some air, “excessive ...arrogance. But he only has the best intentions. ”

“If anything... he’s very lucky to have you.” Doug stated and wrapped his arm around Joey’s shoulder.

“Not more than I’m to have him.”

 

~*~

 

“Getting fresh with my girlfriend, Dougie?” Pacey walked up to them, carrying a tray with three cups of coffee. “Here’s some coffee,” he offered the it first to Joey and then to his brother.

Doug removed his arm from Joey’s shoulder and took the cup from Pacey, nodding a silent ‘thank you’.

Joey pursed her lips and stood up. “Pace? Do you have the number of your office?”

“Huh? Sure... why?” Pacey was confused.

“Because... you’re not going to work today and you should inform your boss?” Joey raised her brows.

“Oh... right, I should...”

“Just give me the number and I’ll call.” Joey interrupted him and tilted her head slightly towards Doug, indicating that she wanted to leave them alone so they could make up.

“Okay... thank you. Here, take my cell... it’s saved under Office.” Pacey fumbled around in his coat pocket and finally handed Joey his cell phone.

“’kay.” Joey took the phone and hesitated, “Umm, Pace? Could you lend me your coat? I’ve to go outside and...”

“Sure, no problem.” Pacey slipped out of his warm coat and helped her to put it on. Of course it was way to big for her, but as always he found it very cute and endearing to see her in his clothes.

“Thank you.” Joey muttered and kissed him briefly on the mouth before leaving the two brothers alone.

 

~*~

 

Pacey watched Joey turn around the corner before he sat down on her vacated chair next to his brother.

“Umm... I’ve talked to the nurse and they’ll move dad to a private room,” he announced, trying to ease into a conversation with Doug.

“Hmm, good for you. How’d you swing that? Slip her a twenty?” Doug asked still annoyed. When Pacey didn’t answer but looked away, he added, “Yeah, well, that’s one way to solve it, I guess,” he turned his attention back to the blaring TV. He knew that his brother meant the best, but his way on getting it, irked him immensely.

Pacey sighed. He wasn’t good at apologizing and this specific one wasn’t going like he had intended at all. “Doug, I’m sorry. I got myself all worked up on the drive down here, thinking about the possibilities and... I appreciate the fact that you’ve been here all the time and that you took care of everyone. I am sorry, man. I was just a little on edge.”

Doug nodded and flashed Pacey a tiny smile, showing him that he accepted his apology. “You know, when mom called me...” Doug rubbed his chin, going back a few hours, “...I raced home... I was there even before the ambulance arrived. Dad was in his bed, just as white as the sheets and he grabbed his chest...” Doug shook his head, trying to come to terms that he had seen their father so vulnerable. “I mean, have you ever seen him off-guard one single day in your life?” He looked at Pacey and was thankful that he could finally talk about his own anxieties.

“No...no, not even close.” Pacey stared right into Doug’s eyes, where his own fears were mirrored to a T. “Which is probably what’s so scary about this whole thing. I mean... I spent so long pushing the old man’s buttons in high school... I forgot there were real feelings left under there.”

“I know...” Doug sighed and sipped at his coffee. “It looks like those tests will take some more time... so, tell me about Joey and you...” Doug decided it would be good for them to change the topic while waiting for the results.

Pacey smiled and started to talk.

 

~*~

 

About an hour later they were still waiting for any news. Mrs. Witter had called the hospital to notify their sons that she had to watch Carrie’s twins for a few hours but that she would come back to the hospital as soon as possible. Joey had fallen asleep on Pacey’s shoulder and Doug stole ever so often a side glance at the couple. He didn’t grudge them their relationship at all, but he couldn’t help but notice that just her presence calmed and strengthened Pacey. Next to them he felt alone and lonesome, and he questioned if he was ever to find the one person for him, who would complete him like they completed each other. Yawning he got up to fetch some more coffee but stopped short when he saw a nurse coming over to them.

“You’re here for Mr. John Witter, right?” she asked.

“Yes, we’re his sons.” Doug confirmed and watched her expectantly.

“Jo, wake up, honey.” Pacey shook Joey’s shoulder gently and when she woke up stood up as well.

“Good. Your father is back in his room and you’re allowed to see him now,” the nursed smiled and guided them to Mr. Witter’s room.

Joey had accompanied them, but when they stopped at his room she whispered, “I’ll just wait here, you two go ahead.” She shooed them to get in and leaned against the opposite wall, relief washing over her.

 

~*~

 

As Doug knocked and opened the door, Pacey shot one last glance at Joey before he stepped in the room and closed the door behind him.

Sheriff Witter was sitting up in his bed, supported by a cushion and listened to the doctor who pointed his new rules of conduct out. When he saw Pacey entering behind Doug a genuine smile lit his whole face and caused the doctor to glance via the door as well.

“Hey boys,”, Mr. Witter tried to push himself into a higher sitting position, but he felt very weak at the same time. Sighing he remained in the previous position and adjusted the covers.

“Ah, this must be your other son, Mr.Witter.”

“Yeah, this is Pacey, doc. He’s the one I was telling you about.” Mr. Witter confirmed very pleased.

Pacey stepped forward and reached his hand out to greet the doctor properly. “Yes, that’s me, the black sheep. Pleased to meet you, doc.”

“Actually, your father was just going on and on about how proud he is of you,” the older man smiled and took Pacey’s hand in his.

“Yeah, who’d have thought it, huh? He turned out all right. Gonna be taking care of all of us one of these days.” Mr. Witter gazed at his two sons. A few hours ago he had thought he’d never be able to do that, but there they were.

Pacey couldn’t believe that his father was talking so fondly about him. Maybe it was because of the drugs, or maybe the fear of death... or maybe his father had discovered forgotten feelings as well. Pacey turned to his father and chuckled, “Yeah. Anyway, how you feeling? You doing okay?” Concern laced his voice, but he was relieved to see his father up and talking.

Mr. Witter nodded and pressed his lips together. Slowly the crippling feeling of fear, that had gripped him when he felt the pain his chest, subsided and he actually started to calm down and feel better.

“Thanks for coming, Pace. It means a lot to me. I know how busy you are,” he took a deep breath.

While the doctors were taking care of him and running all kinds of tests he had been thinking. Contemplating his life, his family... everything. He knew he had been a little too hard with Pacey. The girls had him wrapped around their little fingers right from the moment they were born. Doug, well, Doug was always the perfect son, almost like a reflection of himself, even as a kid... And Pacey? Pacey had always been the feisty and vivacious one. The only one who was only following his own head and dared to defy him. He was afraid that he wouldn’t get along with his life if he hadn’t set up strict rules for him. He was wrong. Although he loved his youngest child, a child they hadn’t reckoned with. God, he had been so happy when Mary told him she was expecting again. Maybe that was the reason he treated him differently. He feared he would be to old for another child but his decisions were wrong and now he wanted to make up for them.

The doctor cleared his throat and closed the folder he was holding in his hands. “I don’t mean to break things up, but you’re still pretty weak, Mr. Witter. One kid at a time, okay?”

Mr. Witter nodded silently and Pacey was astonished that his father actually accepted orders from other people. Looking from him to Doug he suggested, “ Well, I can just wait outside until you guys are ready.” He was about to turn towards the door when he heard his father object.

“No, Pacey. I want you to stay. Come on, sit down,” he motioned for Pacey to sit on the chair next to his bed.

Doug stared at them. He was hurt that his father didn’t even acknowledge his presence. “Okay... that’s okay. I’ve been here all the time, right? So, uh... hmmm...” shrugging he stepped back and walked to the door.

“Thanks, Dougie.” Mr. Witter called after him, but Doug didn’t turn around and closed the door behind him.

 

~*~

 

Pacey sat down, not sure what to say and surprised to be there instead of being the one who was leaving.

“Alright...”

“Uh... did you drive down?” Mr. Witter felt a bit uneasy, not knowing how to start a conversation with Pacey and that hurt him more than anything.

“Yeah... yeah... I came down as quickly as I could.” Pacey smiled, “Actually... I wasn’t driving myself... Joey drove.”

Mr. Witter looked at his son, surprise evident in his eyes. “Joey... Potter? You let her drive your car? Must be serious.”

“Umm, yeah... I guess. No, I know... it’s serious.” Pacey stammered. Somehow their plan of telling everybody they were back together had become independent and developed a life of its own.

“Good... that’s great, Pace...” Mr. Witter nodded approvingly. “You know, Joey’s a good girl. Despite the problems her father caused for her whole family and the death of her mother...” he paused, “I like her... and she’s good for you. She keeps you in place, doesn’t take any shit from you... you need that... and, well... back in high school, I could see... I’m sure she loves you.”

Pacey stared at his father. The whole situation was so surreal. He had never thought that he could talk with his father like that, that his father was even interested enough in him to care about his girlfriend.

“I love her, too. It’s amazing that she gives me a second chance.”

“She kind of reminds me of your mother. See, Witter’s aren’t exactly easy to be with, or low-maintenance. It still amazes me that your mother put up with me for so long... and still does.” Mr. Witter chuckled and played with his wedding ring.

“Well, Potter’s aren’t that easy themselves... stubborn women...” Pacey chuckled.

“That’s why you fit that good. ... Back in the day your brother and her sister, well... you two aren’t the firsts.” Mr. Witter winked at his son.

Pacey’s eyes widened, “What? You’re kidding me, right? Bessie and Doug?”

“Nah, I’m not kidding... but it didn’t work out... Dougie wasn’t man enough for Bessie... maybe that’s why I wasn’t very supportive when you two started to get close, I mean, even before you got together....I didn’t want my second son to suffer the same heartbreak.... but it looks like you got it right with Joey.”

Pacey was baffled and lowered his gaze. Both fell silent for a while, not accustomed to talk about feelings or to talk with each other at all.

“Uh... so, the drive.... not much traffic?” Mr. Witter asked casually.

“No. Who’s coming to Capeside?” Pacey quipped and smirked.

“Yeah, well, you were. Thanks. I appreciate it.” Mr. Witter patted Pacey’s hand.

“Umm, ... so, what did the doc say, pop? Doug wasn’t so sure what’s exactly wrong with you?”

“Ahh, it’s not that bad, Pace. They’ll probably release me tomorrow. Don’t worry.” Mr. Witter dismissed Pacey’s question with a small wave of his hand.

“You know, this stuff is serious. I mean, if you got heart problems, pop, you really gotta take care of that.” Pacey tried to urge his father to accept the fact that he was ill.

“Calm down, Pace. This is nothing. Just a little exaggerate arrhythmia.” Mr. Witter shook his head, “Hell, you probably got the same thing. I don’t know what your brother’s getting all worked up about.”

“Well, I think you gave him a bit of a scare. He said you went down pretty hard.” Pacey frowned. It was so typical of his father to ignore his condition.

“Ah, he’s just looking for some drama. He needs to get out more. He needs to get a life like you.”

“Dad... come on, what did the doc tell you?” Pacey insisted and didn’t really care that for the first time he wasn’t compared to his brother but that it was just the other way round.

“Your girlfriend is rubbing off at you, huh? You’re stubborn like a mule.” Mr. Witter sighed. “Well then, ... he told me I had to step down a little, reduce my stress level and start to work out on a regular basis to strengthen my heart and to have an eye on my blood pressure. He pretty much said that this was kind of a warning shot... that if I didn’t change anything, well that I would be predestined for a heart attack sooner or later.”

Pacey nodded slowly. It was serious, but not as bad as he had feared it would be. “Okay, then... promise me you’ll take this seriously and that you’ll stick to the rules the doc gave you?”

“Yeah, yeah... I’ll try... I’m not quite ready to leave this world so soon.” Mr. Witter said quietly.

“That’s good to hear, pop.” Pacey smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“So...” Mr. Witter wanted to change the topic as fast as possible, he wasn’t one to dwell on such things, especially not if it concerned himself. He hated to be so helpless and weak. “Listen, it can’t be good for you being away from the office this much.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure they’ll understand, given the circumstances.” Pacey shook his head, “Besides, Joey called and excused me for the day.”

“She’s taking care of you, huh?” Mr. Witter chuckled.

“Yeah, she’s been here all the time... definitely something I could get used to.”

“But... what about your clients?”

“You’re my father.” Pacey looked at his father seriously and they shared a deep moment.

“You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” Mr. Witter asked slowly. “Even after everything, you’re still... you grew up to be one of the good guys, Pacey. I always knew you would. I should’ve told you that more often.” The regret was evident in his voice.

Pacey swallowed hard and had to blink a few times. Nevertheless his eyes were a little red as he finally met his father’s eyes.

“Well, maybe I just didn’t always hear you.”

“Yeah.” Mr. Witter nodded.

Pacey hesitated briefly but reached out for his hand and squeezed it gently. Maybe this was the season for second chances.

 

~*~

 

Pacey walked back to the waiting room and found Joey talking with his mother.

“Hi, mom.” Mrs. Witter turned around and hugged Pacey.

“Oh, Pacey. It’s so good to see you. How is dad doing?” she looked at him anxiously, the shadows under her eyes told Pacey how tired and exhausted she was.

Pacey wrapped one arm around his mother and held her close to him. “He’s doing pretty good. They’ll probably release him tomorrow. We talked for a while and now he wants to see Doug... but we didn’t know you’ve come back... so I think you should go and see him.”

“I’m on my way.” Mrs. Witter sighed. “I’m just so relieved that it wasn’t a heart attack... I don’t know what I’d do...”

Pacey kissed her cheek. “You know that Witter’s aren’t quitters. He just has to take better care of himself.”

“Yeah, I’ll see to that. So, you two... I’m going to your father now. See you later?” Mary Witter stood up and reached for her purse.

“Yeah, sure, mom.” Pacey slid on the seat next to Joey and sighed. He felt tired and the day was exhausting in every way possible. On the other hand it felt pretty good to have talked with his father like he did and even better to know that Joey was there waiting for him.

“So, you and my mom, huh?” he leaned his head against hers.

“Yep, she even remembered my name correctly... what is it... for the first time ever?” Joey smiled and put her hand on Pacey’s knee. “Your father is really okay?”

“Under the given circumstances... yes. He needs to reduce stress, work less and watch his blood pressure... The doc say it had been a warning shot... and I hope, I know that he’s taking this seriously.”

“That’s good. ... You two had a good talk?”

Pacey laced his hand with hers. She had to be a mind reader, because she already seemed to know the answer.

“Yeah, we had. Beneath everything that went down between us... I’ve buried those feelings for so long and today... when Doug called and just now, after I talked to him... I think I got another second chance here.”

“Both of you... and it was about time. I’m glad about this development. You know... maybe your father hasn’t been the perfect dad... but he’s your dad and...” Joey’s voice trailed off and she sighed barely audible.

Pacey kissed Joey’s temple and pulled her closer. “Thank you for being here with me,” he whispered into her ear.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Joey smiled softly and squeezed his hand.

“Umm, do you happen to know where Doug is? I thought he would be here.”

“He said he wanted to go for a walk, just after he left your dad’s room. I don’t know, maybe he’s outside somewhere.” Joey shrugged.

“Okay... umm... would you mind if I left you for a moment to look for him? Dad wanted to see him, so...” Pacey frowned. They had been there for hours and now he was leaving her on her own again.

“Nah, sure... go and get him. I’m good. You know... this shopping station does have its moments.” Joey smirked, reassuring him that he could go.

“Okay, thank you... I’ll be right back.” Pacey kissed her again before setting of to search for his brother.

Joey stretched her tired limbs and made another trip to the vending machines. “Just how much coffee can kill you?” she wondered as she fed the machine some coins.

 

~*~

 

Pacey scanned the entrance area for any sign of Doug unsuccessfully and sighed. Turning around he jogged to the other end of the hall and pushed the door that led to the hospital’s garden open. It was raining, but the arbor offered a convenient shelter. Finally he spotted his brother sitting on the lower steps of the fire emergency stairs. Pacey hurried over to him. “Hey, there you are, Dougie. Dad’s ready to see you.”

Doug didn’t look up, but at least he responded. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

Pacey frowned and pushed his hands into his pockets. He’d forgotten his coat and it was definitely cold out there. “Uh... actually, you know... mom’s back and the nurse said they’re going to do some more tests, so ... that doesn’t leave you much time. Get a move on, Dougie.” Pacey shivered and stared at his brother.

“Did he ask for me?” Doug continued to look at his feet.

“What? Like did he send for you?” Pacey shook his head. “He knows that we’re both here to see him and yes, he really wants to see you.”

Doug laughed bitterly and avoided Pacey’s gaze. “I love the amount of knowledge you’ve acquired on dad in the few hours that you’ve been here. You’re throwing around paternal references like they’re going out of style.”

Pacey didn’t know what hit him. He had no idea what was going on with Doug out of a sudden. “Well, you’ve always been more up on high fashion...”

“Just don’t even start, Pacey... for once.” Doug glanced fleetingly at him, “I mean, I know you’re all on your game since dear old dad’s given you the nod...”

Pacey’s eyes widened. “Okay, hold on. What is it that you actually want to talk to me about? Because, from my way of seeing things, you and I are just two brothers trying to take care of our family.”

“No, Pacey.” Doug’s voice grew louder and was laced with anger. “I’m the one taking care of the family. I’m the one who’s been taking care of the family for years.”

“Oh, ... now, Doug, don’t you dare get righteous on me.” Pacey shook his head, feeling the anger rising within himself and pointed his index finger at his brother. “You cannot lord your resentment over me because that was your choice.”

“Yeah, I do happen to make choices.” Doug jumped up and faced Pacey. “I know that’s a foreign concept to someone who plays musical careers.”

Pacey blew out some air and frustrated threw his hands in the air. “How did we get here? Am I stepping on your turf or something? Are you the only member of the family who’s allowed to be caring and compassionate? What did you expect me to do, when you called me, Doug? Just chomp on my cigar on the other end of the phone and cut a check for the man’s funeral? I’m a member of this family.”

Doug rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, conveniently. That’s the way it is with you lately, isn’t it? You just swoop in with your fancy gifts, pull the wool over the whole Witter family’s eyes... and then you’re out and everybody forgets...” Doug spat out. He didn’t know why he said anything of it, but he felt... threatened somehow... and maybe a little jealous. Out of the blue Pacey got everything he wanted, the girl, the job... and his father’s respect.

Pacey couldn’t belief the turn their conversation had taken. Actually, thinking about it... the whole day the tension between them had built up and now it felt like a volcano was erupting right before his eyes.

“Forgets what? That I'm the family failure? Am I just never supposed to grow up? Am I not allowed to want things?”

Doug couldn’t stop himself. The green-eyed monster didn’t only rear ist ugly head, it had taken over him completely. Ever since Pacey had landed himself this high end job... he’d felt inferior. And after this emotional night and day... it just broke out from deep inside of him.

“Oh, no, we all want things, Pacey. Believe me, we all want things. Nobody would deny you that. “

Pacey bit his lip. He was angry, angry at his brother that he obviously grudged him the fact that after years of ignoration, he was finally offered a tiny bit of respect.

“Then what? I'm just not supposed to get them. So, ultimately, this is not about our father. Which is kind of pathetic, Doug, considering the condition that that man is in right now. This is about you wanting to see my face everyday and know that you're still the good son, that you're top dog.” Pacey paused and shrugged defeated. The anger gave way to sadness and disappointment. “Well, that's just sad. Dougie, I miss the daily beatings as much as you do, but I had to leave sometime.”

Doug grimaced. He could see that he was hurting Pacey with what he was saying but his own hurt stopped him from continuing with his tirade.

“Pacey, don't make this a celebration of your retreat from Capeside.”

“I'm not. Man, listen to yourself speak.” Pacey gesticulated wildly, “I came here to see you, to see him. And you know what? He knows it, and he appreciates it,” he pointed back to the hospital. “Perhaps he's even happy to know that the son he ignored for the better part of his life is not gonna hold a grudge against him until the day he dies.”

Pacey was at his wit’s ends. Apparently it was way too much to ask for complete happiness. Just when everything started to look good for him, Doug ended it brutally.

Sighing he added in a quiet voice, “In a strange way, this might even be a good thing.”

Doug swallowed and pursed his lips. “Yeah, you know what? It is a good thing, Pacey.” Blowing out some air he sighed. “It's all yours, little brother. You know what? It's all yours. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Doug turned and left Pacey staring after him. He wasn’t happy with what he had done. How could he? He knew that he was wrong, that it was more than wrong to let his frustrations out on Pacey. Right then he hated himself.

 

~*~

 

“Hey, did you find him?” Joey shifted in her seat as she saw Pacey walking towards her.

“Yeah, yeah... I did.” Pacey let himself fall down on the chair and ran both hands through his hair.

Joey furrowed her brows, “What’s wrong, Pace?”

“Wrong?” Pacey laughed grimly. “Nothing’s wrong except the small detail that my brother just freaked out on me and declared that I’m a yuppie asshole who just comes home to play family whenever he feels like it and that I should enjoy this phase of happiness and acceptance as long as it lasts... because in his opinion... it won’t last long.”

Pacey bent forward, buried his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

“God, Pace...” Joey didn’t know what to say and simply started to stroke his back softly. “Why would he say something like that? You know that it isn’t true.”

“Do I? You know, one minute my father tells me at last that he’s proud of me and the next minute my brother, who used to tell me that despite the rest of the family he did have a... at least... decent opinion of me... jumps at me and...” Pacey shook his head, never finishing the sentence.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it... Pace.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Jo. ... I’ve never seen him like that... his eyes were almost hateful. It’s like, ... like he feels threatened or something.”

Joey pondered Pacey’s statement silently. “You know, maybe that’s just it. He’s so used to be... your dad’s favorite son and he’s used to have his sole attention and approval of everything he does, well ... at least of most things he does.”

Joey lifted Pacey’s chin gently with her hand. “The day was very hard and emotional for everyone and now he has to deal with the fact that... yeah, that he has to share your dad’s respect and interest in his sons. He’s jealous and acts just like a spoiled child. I bet he’s already very sorry for what he said and berates himself.”

Pacey gazed sadly at Joey. He had thought the same thing. Jealousy was a powerful emotion, one he had felt several times himself. But being attacked like that by Doug... it was just too much.

“It hurt a lot, Jo.”

Joey sighed and wrapped her arms around Pacey’s neck, pulling him close. “I know. But don’t let Doug’s outburst get to you. Give him a little time and I’m sure he’ll apologize... sooner or later. He loves you, it’s hard for him, too.”

“I hope you’re right.” Pacey mumbled and tightened his own arms around her.

“Have I ever been wrong?” Joey tried to lighten the mood.

“Let me think...” Pacey chuckled, amazed that with just a few words and little touches she could make him feel better.

 

~*~

 

“Are you sure you want to go now?” Joey asked carefully as they gathered their belongings and walked to Mr. Witter’s room.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Dad’s feeling better and he needs some rest and we’ve been up for hours as well. Mom will stay with him... so I guess it’s okay.” Pacey counted on his hands.

“Okay. You sure I should say bye? I mean... I haven’t even said ‘hi’ and I don’t know if your father even wants to see ...”

“Stop it, Potter. He’ll be happy to see you and you’ve said ‘hi’ to my mom and to ... Doug.” Pacey guided her to the door and knocked.

“Come in,” they heard Mr. Witter’s voice invite them in.

Pacey opened the door and stepped inside with Joey in tow. “Hey.”

The TV was on and Doug and Mrs. Witter were sitting on either side of the bed, where Mr. Witter was still sitting up in. As they entered he turned the TV off and smiled at them.

Doug glanced up briefly but quickly lowered his gaze again. He felt too ashamed to face Pacey so soon after his outburst.

“Hey,.... oh... and there’s Joey, too,” his smile grew wider.

“Hi, Mr. Witter. Good to see you.” Joey blushed.

“Good to see you, Joey... and... uh... thank you for driving Pacey down here and... everything...” Mr. Witter thanked her.

“You wouldn’t have to mention it...” Joey lowered her gaze, blushing even more.

“We just wanted to stop by before they close up shop and kick us out because of overcrowding, see how you feel...” Pacey smiled.

Mr. Witter chuckled, “I feel like I could use a scotch.”

“John!”, Mrs. Witter gasped and slapped his arm softly.

Mr. Witter took his wife’s hand and winked at her. “Other then that, I’m fine.”

“It’s good to see you joking around here.” Pacey chuckled, “Well, I was thinking... maybe... I could stop by in the morning... before they release you?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Mr. Witter nodded enthusiastically.

Joey gazed at Doug who had crossed his arms over his chest, staring holes in the floor in front of him. It was more than obvious that he was feeling uncomfortable.

“Wait, Pacey...” Mrs. Witter spoke up suddenly, “... where are you two staying? I mean...”, she blushed a little, “ I guess you want to ... umm.... stay together ... somewhere?”

Pacey grinned. It was too cute to see his mother squirming like that at the thought of her youngest child and sex.

“I don’t know... I talked to Bessie and the B&B is completely booked... including my old room...” Joey answered, sporting a nice shade of dark red.

“Ahh, then... why don’t you stay in your old room, Pace? Carrie and the kids have returned home, so...” Mrs. Witter offered.

“Thank you, mom... that’s a great idea.” Pacey smiled and nodded. “Okay then, we’re letting you rest... and... uh, Dougie, see you at the house?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Doug cleared his throat and looked at Pacey for a second.

“Umm... bye, guys.” Pace nodded again and opened the door for Joey.

“Bye.” Joey smiled at Pacey’s family and stepped out of the room with Pacey following her. Just when he wanted to close the door behind them, Mr. Witter called out to him once more.

“Uh... Pacey? ... Thanks for getting me this private room.”

Pacey turned around and hesitated briefly, letting his eyes wander through the room and resting them finally on Doug who was slumped in his chair.

Of course Joey was right. Doug was hurt, too. It didn’t excuse the accusations he had thrown at him, but he could understand.

“No, ... that wasn’t me,” he pointed at Pacey, “Doug took care of the room. ... Good seeing you, pop. Feel better,” and with that being said he closed the door.

Doug stared surprised at the door and after a while his lips slowly morphed into a smile.

 

~*~

 

“So what did Bessie have to say... besides that the B&B is booked?” Pacey inquired as he opened the passenger seat door for Joey.

“Umm... she said something that sounded like...’It’s about time’... ‘Come over for dinner’ and... a ‘Get well soon’ directed at your father.” Joey giggled.

“So she knows, huh?” Pacey slid behind the steering wheel and re-adjusted his seat, whose position Joey had changed on their way down from Boston.

“Yeah, she knows... Bodie, too, I guess... as does your whole family... and Jen and Jack.” Joey’s lips formed her trademark lopsided smile. “Strange how fast our good news has spread, huh?”

“A little...but it feels good, doesn’t it?” Pacey started the motor and cast a side glance at Joey.

“Very good. Even your mom...”

“Yeah, that was really strange... or better hilarious... as she struggled to come to terms with the idea of us having sex...” Pacey laughed.

“You’re cruel, Pace... she’s your mother.”

“I know, I know...” Pacey exhaled and directed his attention towards the road.

“That was very nice of you, telling your dad that Doug had taken care of moving him into a private room.” Joey twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

“Well, I think... I think that you were right....again, Potter... and I tried to put myself in his place... and I’d probably have acted quite similar. I mean... I can understand him and... I didn’t want to make it any worse... especially not because of a stupid room. There are far more important things than that.” Pacey explained.

“True... but I’m very proud of you, Pace.” Joey put her hand on his thigh and Pacey covered it with his own, just like they always did.

“Umm... Jo, before we head over to the B&B... would you mind if we stopped by the Leery’s? I’d like to check on Mrs. Leery and have a look at how the repairs are going.”

“No, that’s fine. We have plenty of time left before dinner’s ready and I haven’t talked to Mrs. Leery in ages.” Joey yawned, “Although I might be asleep before we get there.”

 

~*~

 

Pacey pulled up to the Leery’s house and stopped the car. “There we are, still awake, honey?”

“Yeah, I’m awake...” Joey opened her eyes and grinned sheepishly, “I was just resting my eyes... you know.”

“Uh-huh...whatever you say, Jo.” Pacey chuckled.

He was about to open his door when Joey’s cell phone started to ring. He watched her fishing it out of her purse and saw her scrunching her nose upon reading the caller ID on her display.

“It’s Hetson... I’ve got to answer,” she sighed.

“Why does he have your cell number at all?” Pacey asked tiredly.

“Because...” Joey shrugged and pressed the green button to answer the call. “Go ahead, check if Mrs. Leery is at home. I’ll be right with you,” she whispered before she talked into the phone, “Joey Potter. ... Hi, Professor Hetson.”

“Okay.” Pacey opened his door, got out of the car and made his way over to the porch. Opening the screen door he stepped on the porch and aimed at the entry door when he realized someone was calling him, someone with a very familiar voice.

“Pacey?” Dawson stopped short in his tracks. He was surprised to say the least to find Pacey standing in front of him.

Pacey whirled around and faced Dawson. Somehow he had even expected for him to appear out of nowhere. It was just typical.

“Dawson. Hey, what are you doing here, man?”

Dawson moved closer and held up the bundle of firewood he was carrying. “Uh... long story. At the moment, bringing in some firewood. ... What are you doing here?” Dawson eyed him and noticed the strain in Pacey’s demeanor.

“Uh... well...” Pacey straightened his shoulders, deciding he would take small steps in explaining his presence, “I was in town, so I wanted to check on your mom, see how the repairs are going.”

“Wow, that’s...” Dawson raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly, “...thank you.”

“Yeah.” Pacey rubbed his chin and rocked softly to his heels, trying to soothe the feeling of uneasiness that spread through him.

“You all right?” Dawson frowned and stared at him, now standing only at an arm’s length before him. He sensed that Pacey wasn’t alright and he wondered if he had really come to check on the repairs.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but I checked my dad into the hospital today.” Pacey gazed at his feet. Two-thirds of his reasons to be there were out in the open. The last one, well... it wasn’t really a reason for visiting Dawson, was it?

“Oh my god. Is he okay?” Pictures of his own father flashed through Dawson’s mind and his eyes widened.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay.” Pacey sighed, “It was a ... heart condition of some sort, but he’s gonna get out in the morning, so he’ll be alright. But, uh, you know... no matter how tough you think your dad is, uh, it’s a little disconcerting seeing him lying there all vulnerable.” Pacey wrung his hands together and looked up.

“Yeah... can turn your whole world upside-down.” Dawson sighed. Sometimes it still seemed to be so unreal that his father was dead.

Both nodded and fell silent. It was strange to face each other like that, but both knew that the friendship, if it ever had been real friendship, they’d shared was still damaged, no matter how much time had passed and no matter that they had reached a point where they at least managed to act civilly around each other.

“When did all this happen, huh? I mean, when did I become the one who made sure the house was warm enough... and you the one who checks up on repairs?” Dawson tried to break the uncomfortable silence and shifted the logs in his arms.

“I don’t know.” Pacey chuckled and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, “but sometimes I feel like I’ve been playing the part, wearing the suit so long, that... I may have forgotten how I got there in the first place,” he shook his head, “And who’d have thought I’d be wearing a suit on a daily basis anyway?”

Dawson smiled knowingly, “Yeah,... I know you deal with this more than I do, but some kid called me ‘sir’ today.” Laughing he added, “What’s that?”

Pacey joined his laughter, at least for a moment. “I know. It’s strange. Every time I hear ‘Mr. Witter’, I look over my shoulder and expect to see my father there. ... Who called you sir?”

Dawson placed the firewood on the steps and stretched his arms. “This kid in my...” he hesitated, “... I almost said, this kid in my class. I went to Capeside High today.”

“What, in your mind?” Pacey quipped but silently wondered how much longer it would take until Joey finished her phone call and made her presence known.

“Almost,” Dawson grinned, “Uh... no... I went to go talk to Mr. Gold’s film class.”

“Get out of here.” Pacey chuckled, “Really? ...Well, I guess that’s what they call coming full circle, huh?”

Joey chose this exact moment to walk around the corner. Pacey had parked the car parallel to the house and she hadn’t been able to look around the porch. She heard the last bit of Pacey’s sentence, but didn’t know that he was talking to Dawson. When she saw both men standing a few feet from her, she froze as the scene resembled oddly a déjà vu from their past.

“Yeah, yeah... I went there. I was supposed to talk about where I am now and the glamour of the real world and all that, but it was ...weird....” Again Dawson was the first to spot Joey. “... Joey?” For the second time this afternoon Dawson couldn’t believe what he was seeing with his own eyes.

Pacey turned around quickly and made eye-contact with Joey. He dreaded what would happen in the next few minutes, but her eyes smiled, reassuring him that he didn’t have to be afraid this time. He nodded slightly, so that only she could see it and licked his lips nervously.

“Hi, Dawson.” Joey greeted him but stopped right at Pacey’s side.

“Hi...” Dawson closed the gap between them and hugged her happily. “God, that’s one surprise after the other... What are you doing here, Joey? I thought you were in Boston? The semester is still running, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, though Spring Break is coming up soon.” Joey stepped back a little to put some space between them by moving even closer to Pacey.

“I was just telling Pacey that I’ve been to Capeside High today and...” Dawson continued, oblivious to Joey and Pacey’s body language, “... you know, being here.... being at the high school... all these ghosts around me, I wanna go back, start over... do the things the right way... and ... tada... both of you appear literally on my doorstep.” Dawson smiled brightly. “This just calls for a movie... like ‘Return to the Glory of the Past’ or something... only that I can’t afford to make movies right now...”

Joey rolled her eyes. She knew she should tell Dawson about the reason why she was there, but his rambling made it kind of difficult to get through to him.

“Afford? Those are the people I cater to, my friend. Come on. I’m a wizard of high finance.” Pacey nudged Joey’s shoulder softly with his own.

Dawson turned his head towards Pacey, as if he’d just remembered he was standing there at all. “Right, right, right... I’m the kind of person you prey on.”

Pacey chuckled. At least he had stopped Dawson from drifting too far into his daydreams.

“Sentimental losers with ten cent dreams.” Dawson added, his eyes wandering back to Joey who stared at her feet.

“More like ten-thousand, but who’s counting, right?” Pacey annotated.

“I’m sorry, but... you’re freaking me out there, Mr. Witter.” Dawson joked. Now that Joey was there, he tried harder to act like they were still good friends.

“Alright, we can talk about that some other time, sir.” Pacey attempted to steer the conversation away from the joking-around-conversation and cast a glance at Joey who sighed and looked directly into his eyes. It was time.

“Well, well... so, Joey... you never answered my question, did you? Why are you here, on a school day nevertheless?” Dawson inquired.

Joey straightened her shoulder and took a deep breath. “No, I didn’t. Well... I guess Pacey already told you about his father?”

“Yeah, he did. I’m glad that he’s okay, under the given circumstances...” Dawson frowned not understanding what Pacey’s dad could have to do with Joey being in Capeside.

Joey nodded. “Right, see... I’ve come down from Boston with Pacey this morning. I didn’t want to let him drive all alone...” Joey smiled at Pacey and tugged at his arm.

Pacey returned the smile and complied to her silent plea and removed his hand from the warmth of his pocket to lace it with hers.

“...Actually, he let me drive his precious car.”

Dawson narrowed his eyes at Joey and when he noticed that Pacey was entwining his fingers with hers, he inhaled sharply. He never thought he would have to live through this again.

“How did you know? I mean, I didn’t know you were that close again...” he had a hard time to control his voice and stared into Joey’s eyes, clenching his jaw tightly.

“I was there when Doug called.” Joey stated simply. She hadn’t meant to tell him about them like this, but his behavior annoyed her.

“You were... there...” Dawson repeated and his eyes widened as the subliminal message of this information sunk in.

“Yes.” Joey nodded vehemently and leaned closer to Pacey. “We’re back together, Dawson.”

“Oh...” Dawson clenched his fists. A small voice inside his brain told him that he had no right to be pissed, but he was. “Since when?”

“Not that it’s your business, really...” Joey started but Pacey interrupted her.

“For a few days... although it’s been developing for some time now... and truly official since yesterday.”

“Is that so, Pacey?” Dawson asked almost snidely and tilted his head to look at Pacey coldly.

Pacey held his gaze without batting an eyelid.

“What is your problem, Dawson?” Joey struggled to keep her voice matter of fact.

“Problem?” Dawson diverted his eyes from Pacey and directed them at Joey. “I don’t have a problem. I just thought you’d never make the same mistake twice.”

Shaking her head Joey pressed her lips together. “I’m not planning on doing that, Dawson. By the way... the only mistake I made the first time, was trying to spare your feelings by giving them a higher priority than Pacey’s or my own. That won’t happen again. See, we’re telling you about our relationships right-away. I just hope you’ll be able to deal with it like an adult, Dawson.”

“Like an adult?” Dawson snorted. “So you came here to tell me that you’re together again? What if Pacey’s dad didn’t get sick? What if I wasn’t here? Huh, Joey? Would you’ve told me then?”

“Sure... and admittedly... I didn’t plan it this way, but the next time we were to talk, you would’ve known it.” Joey answered plainly.

“Which could have been only god knows when... seeing that you conveniently avoid me most of the time since your birthday.” Dawson muttered fully knowing the included side-swipe directed at Pacey.

“That tells a tale... doesn’t it?” Pacey retorted.

“Maybe... but you know exactly why, Dawson. Do I have to remind you? I’ve never cheated on anyone like you did. And I told you that it was a mistake, a huge mistake. More importantly... it’s in the past, Dawson. Didn’t you just say that you wanted to go back, start over and do things the right way?” Joey pursed her lips, “You can’t go back, Dawson. What’s done is done, but you can start doing things the right way in the present, in the here and now. Maybe you should think about that instead of resuscitating old discords that should’ve never been there in the first place.”

“Joey, Pacey... hi, what a nice surprise.” Gale Leery opened the screen door and stepped out on the porch. “I thought I was hearing voices... and there you are.”

She was oblivious to the situation she was walking in on and smiled at the little group.

“I just made some coffee. Do you wanna come in and sit down for a little while? Catching up... It’s been a long time...” she suggested.

Dawson’s face hardened. As much as he knew that Joey was right, he couldn’t bear the thought of having a nice little Kaffeeklatsch with them just after he had learned that they were a couple again. It hurt too much, the fact that after everything that happened between them, Pacey was getting a second chance... while he had fucked up the only chance he ever had.

“Umm, mom... Pacey just wanted to check on the repairs... I’m afraid they don’t have time for a get-together right now.”

“Really? Oh, that’s too bad.” Gale was disappointed.

“Right, I’m sorry, Mrs. Leery... but Bessie is waiting for us.” Joey said and smiled at her. Mrs. Leery was still someone she regarded highly. At some point she had been like a mother for her.

“Okay, I understand, Joey. Maybe another time?” Gale returned her smile.

“I’d love that. Bye, Mrs. Leery.” Joey sighed. If Dawson wanted to play like that, they would do just that. This time his perfidious mind games wouldn’t work on them.

“Bye, Mrs. Leery.” Pacey joined in. “Bye, Dawson.”

Joey looked at Dawson, but his face was still marred with anger. There was nothing else she could say. “Bye Dawson.”

Dawson watched them walk to Pacey’s car and still stared as they turned and drove away. “That’s what they call coming full circle,” he mumbled as he finally picked the bundle of firewood up and tiredly opened the door.

 

~*~

 

“It’s been a long, long day, huh?” Joey stretched out on the bed in Pacey’s old room.

It was furnished like it had been so many years ago. It struck Joey that she’d never really been in his childhood room. There were only brief visit back when Dawson and her had come to pick Pacey up, but she had never taken the time to look around. When they were getting closer, Pacey had already started to live at Doug’s apartment and after that, he had moved into the beach house. She sighed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Pacey asked concerned. He quickly threw his remaining clothes over the back of a chair and sat down on the bed.

“Nothing.” Joey touched his arm softly, “It’s just that I realized ... that I’ve never really been here... in this room. And I should have, even when we were only friends... I never took the time to... get to know you back then.”

“It’s just a room, Jo,... and I don’t even liked it that much. I slept here, nothing more. My life happened elsewhere... and for most of it ... you’ve been there to witness it firsthand.” Pacey wiped the small that escaped her eyes away and kissed the tip of her nose. “There’s nothing to feel sorry for, or even shed a tear, sweetie.”

“I’m still regretting the time I’ve wasted...” Joey muttered but Pacey silenced her with a kiss.

“Nah, no reason. What’s with this trip down memory lane?”

Joey shrugged. “Maybe those ghosts of the past are tackling me a bit.”

“Are you thinking about Dawson?” Pacey asked seriously. This time he hadn’t been able to put a wedge between them by giving an ultimatum, nevertheless he knew that Joey was hurt by his behavior.

“No... at least not like that, more about what he said, going back in time and fixing the things you’ve done wrong.” Joey admitted and sat up.

“Jo, we’ve talked about that...” Pacey frowned and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I know and I don’t want to bring the past back... I’d just like to ... somehow fill the gaps, you know? Get to know all the things that were important to you... or maybe still are... does that make sense to you?”

Pacey relaxed and smiled widely. “It does... and if you really want to fill those blanks...” his smile turned into a mischievous smirk, “Remember our wonderful snail project?”

“How could I forget that? It was completely your fault... all of it.” Joey rolled her eyes mockingly.

“Yeah, yeah... I know...” Pacey chuckled as he remembered his attempts at giving carnivorous snails the opportunity for a menage á trois. “But the point is... when you changed into that blanket... well, I couldn’t help but peek a little at your absolutely beautiful and sexy naked back.” Pacey steeled himself for the famous Potter scowl.

“Duh... jerk, ... I knew you peeked!” Joey slapped him playfully, but her sparkling eyes were betraying her indignation.

“Prude. ... What did you expect from a red blooded teenage boy?” Pacey mimicked her eye rolling. “What I’m trying to say here...even though you rejected my timid but obvious advances back then...” he paused and licked his lips provokingly, “... but I used to fantasize here about having you in my room and in my bed ... just like you are right now, for a long time...”

Joey wrapped her arms around Pacey’s neck and pulled him down with her. “Then by all means, Mr. Witter... make your dreams come true.”

 


	3. Trials and Tribulations

## Chapter 3: Trials and Tribulations

 

“That place was so nice, Pace. They had individual towels in the bathroom.” Joey’s voice was still awestruck as she recalled their evening at the fancy restaurant Pacey had whisked her away to a few hours before.

Pacey chuckled and hugged her closer to him as they walked down the hall toward her dorm room. “Really? Laid out in baskets and everything?”

“Mm-hmm.” Joey stopped and stepped in front of Pacey, circling his waist by slipping her hands into his open coat.

“Well, if that's not the hallmark of a classy joint, I don't know what is.” Pacey brushed the tip of Joey’s nose with his own and gazed into her dark eyes. It amazed him daily to no end that they were together and seeing her so happy and relaxed made him feel like he was able to hang the moon for her.

“Well, you do definitely know how to treat a lady.” Joey smiled and pecked Pacey’s chin lightly.

Pacey tightened his arms around her and raised his eyebrow questioningly. “A lady...?”

“Watch it, Witter!” Joey’s eyes widened. Smirking as she pinched his side.

“Owww, Jo...” Pacey chuckled. “I’m just kidding...”

“You’d better be, mister. ... Anyway, you still haven’t told me what we were celebrating tonight.” Joey gazed into his eyes.

“Do I need a reason to wine and dine my lady?”

“Not really...” Joey laughed, “... but this restaurant, I mean... it is wonderful and... well, it’s a little expensive to just eat there without having a reason to celebrate...”

“Well, I gotta spend my money on something,” Pacey joked.

“Uh-huh...” Joey stepped back and crossed her arms, staring at him unyielding. “Spill it, Pace. I know you, and you’ve got that little proud and satisfied sparkle in your eyes... the one you always get when you do something or get something very good...”

“Is that so? You think you know me so well?” Pacey challenged her, knowing that she had already won.

“Yep. Besides, I do need to hear some good news. You know, I'm strapped for cash, and they cut my hours because everyone's on spring break, drinking elsewhere.” Joey pouted and looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and pleading.

“Okay, you got me... I got a promotion today, actually,” Pacey admitted.

“Really? To what?” Joey asked excitedly.

“I... don’t know, really...” Pacey closed the gap between them and gathered her back in his arms, “There’s no title, but I get an office and... uh... I get a secretary, too. That’s kind of cool.”

“Cool? That’s great, Pace.” Joey reached up and ran her hand through his hair, the pride evident in her eyes.

“Yeah.” Pacey blushed slightly, still not used to his success. Trying to hide the embarrassment from Joey he bent forward and captured her lips with his.

After a few moments he drew back. “Did you just say ‘we were celebrating’? As in past tense?”

Joey tilted her head to the side and smiled at him. “Yeah, I did... you see...” she pointed behind her, “...this is me. We had a very nice, very romantic evening... and now I’ve got to go to bed.” She licked her lips, trying her best to sound resolute.

“Whatever happened to my favorite question? ‘Wanna come up for a cup of coffee?’” Pacey suggested hopefully.

“Ah, well... you know, this is a dorm... I don’t have coffee or anything else to offer you in there, so... yes, this is goodnight, honey.” Joey teased and kissed Pacey chastely on the cheek.

“I can think of something you could offer me...” Pacey smirked and grabbed her hips, pressing his body against hers.

“Really? Umm, I don’t know, seeing that you’ve got this promotion and tomorrow is your first day at a more responsible job. I just think you should have a nice night’s rest...”

“Jo...” Pacey whined, “...you don’t mean that... we’ve spent every night together since Capeside... I can’t sleep without you... not that I want to [i] _sleep_ [/i] sleep right now...” he rambled.

“I know... you aren’t tired of me yet then?” Joey asked bringing her hands back to his neck.

“Tired of you? Of us?” Pacey shook his head incredulously. “Never.” Not wasting another second he hoisted her up, pleased as he felt her legs wrapping around his waist and walked over to her door.

  


~*~

  


“Tell me again why we’re here... at this ridiculously early hour no less?” Jen pulled her coat closer around her shivering body and swayed from one foot to the other.

“It’s not that early...” Joey tried to appease Jen’s apparent foul mood while eyeing the displays in the shop window in front of them.

“It is only 9:30 a.m. ... and we’re on Spring Break.” Jen snorted and cocked her head to the side where she had spotted a Starbucks.

“It’s not like you were still sleeping when I called... or actually sent you a message. You didn’t have to answer if you didn’t want to ... and you were all for going on a little shopping spree with me.” Joey sighed and turned around just in time to catch Jen staring at the coffee shop.

“So what? It’s still early, it’s cold and... I thought we would go shopping for something far more interesting than stupid yuppie toys.” Jen met Joey’s gaze and pouted.

“Executive toys, not yuppie toys,” Joey corrected her friend for the umpteenth time.

“That’s all the same to me, isn’t it? I really couldn’t care less.” Jen pushed her hands deep in the pockets of her coat before turning her attention back to the promising round, green and white sign that dangled above the entrance of the shop.

“What’s wrong with you today, huh?” Joey questioned. “Besides not having your fill of coffee yet?”

“Uh... long, long story.” Jen sighed still staring at the Starbucks.

Deciding that Jen wouldn’t be much of a help without a nice and most importantly big cup of coffee or cappuccino, Joey put her hand on the small of Jen’s back and pushed her forward.

“Okay, how about I buy you some coffee and you tell me what’s up before we go back to shopping?”

“Awww... now that’s a good idea, my friend!” Jen smiled quickening her pace towards the cafe.

By the time Joey returned to Jen, bearing two grande cappuccinos and two chocolate chip muffins, Jen had settled into a big red armchair in the corner of the cafe and her coat was draped over its mate to save it for Joey.

“Great, thank you... I already feel much better just from the sight.” Jen grinned and dipped her spoon into the fluffy milk froth before licking it with a satisfied moan.

Joey sipped at her own cup and nibbled at the muffin, waiting for Jen to start talking about what was bothering her. She knew from experience that she had better not pressure her to talk or she would close up right from the start.

A few moments passed in silence and then Jen leaned back in her chair, twirling a strand of her short locks around her index finger. “You’re waiting, huh?”

Joey nodded and cradled the cup with both hands. “Yep. It’s your turn now, I delivered my part of the deal.”

“I know...” Jen sighed. “Well, it’s nothing... really... I don’t know.” She shifted again to get more comfortable before continuing. “This morning, shortly before you sent your message... well, C.J. sort of complained about our sex life... or the lack thereof.”

Joey raised her eyebrow suspiciously.

“Yeah... I know, it’s hard to believe... someone being more sex crazed than me.” Jen sighed and reached for her muffin.

“Now I didn’t say that...” Joey smiled softly. She knew that despite her strong exterior Jen was really scared and insecure sometimes. Something she could very well relate to. “I’m just wondering... because I thought everything was going well for you two.”

“That’s what I thought. I mean, C.J. is...” Jen shrugged, searching for the right words, “... he’s perfect. He’s nice, he’s smart, he cares for other people and I think he does love me, including all my flaws... and then, bang, this morning he says we didn’t have sex for almost a week, like that was the most important thing, like we were together only for sex.”

“I’m sure that’s not what he meant... okay, he’s a man... but he’s not with you for sex only, Jen.” Joey frowned.

“But why did he complain then? Why does he think... that being with me includes having sex at least once a day, seven days a week?” Jen rubbed her forehead and gazed at Joey. “Is there something printed on my forehead, saying ‘sex object’ or ‘slut’?”

“No, of course not. Where’s all this coming from, Jen? Joey was concerned.

“Dunno... I just want to ... get it right this time, you know? I don’t want to make the same mistakes again and again. Maybe I already did... slept with him to soon and now he expects it. I mean, look at Pacey and yourself. You waited nine months, you took your time to get to know each other, to discover what you mean to each other before you had sex, not the other way round.”

Joey blushed a little and lowered her head. “We were younger than and... well, sometimes I think, well... nine months was really, really long... and now? I guess you could call us sex crazed.” Joey giggled still blushing.

“Okay, well... actually you two have always been all over each other... but I mean, you did it the right way. I’ve always taken the third step before the first. And I’m scared to ruin the first really good relationship I ever had.”

“Maybe you were like that in New York, but you’ve changed, Jen. What about Henry... and what about Dawson? You didn’t fall into bed with them just like that.” Joey snipped with her fingers and smiled. “And as far as I know, you and C.J. didn’t either.”

“Well, Dawson is a completely different story here... and Henry...” Jen smiled remembering the crazy time with him during their junior year at high school. “I don’t know if I would call those real relationships. You know, Henry might have thought that he loved me, but I think... looking back now, he was more in love with the idea of being in love with an older girl who happened to be a cheerleader. I was stupid enough to give us a try, although I knew right away that we couldn’t probably last long. And Dawson... we both know that he’s a dreamer,” Jen raised her hands and laughed, “...and we love him for that. But as a boyfriend? I’m sorry to say that, but he’s a little to... umm... self-centered...”

“I know, he lives in this dream world he has created for himself and everyone around him and heaven help us if something doesn’t follow his script.” Joey interrupted Jen knowingly. It took quite a long time before she realized this truth and her last birthday was just the last nail in the proverbial coffin.

“Yeah. See, and therefore... I’m scared that my relationship wit C.J., my first relationship that feels... real and that could be it... you know... that I’m screwing up sooner or later.” Jen reached for her cappuccino and sighed.

Joey nodded. She knew this fear, the same one that used to pester her so often. “You won’t mess up, Jen. There are no security nets in a relationship, you just have to jump in there and follow your heart. Sometimes it’s hard work, but it’s worth everything.” Joey’s lips morphed into her lopsided smile, “And you know what? This safety net? With every little step you two are taking forward, you’re building a foundation, that’s much better than a net... and that foundation? It will be your rock whenever the sea gets a little stormy.”

“When did you get so wise, Joey?” Jen asked smiling.

“Wise? Don’t know about that.” Joey laughed. “I’m just happy, really happy and I guess that boosts my brain... or whatever.”

“It’s good to see you like this.” Jen remarked leaning forward to touch Joey’s arm.

“Thank you.” Joey squeezed Jen’s hand lightly, “You know that you have to talk to C.J., right? I bet he’s just as confused as you are.”

“Probably... it’s just so... hard.” Jen sighed exasperatedly.

“I know, but you have to.” Joey shrugged, “I had to learn that the hard way, too. You have to talk about everything and I do mean everything if you want your relationship to work. If you don’t... you risk creating cracks in your foundation... and cracks will turn into crevices... and then... the foundation might break.”

“And it’s extremely difficult to mend it,” Jen added.

“Yep, not impossible, but hard to do... and a repaired foundation...”

“... is fragile, I know.” Jen brushed some crumbs from her jeans. “And you know what? I think we’ve had enough of the deep and thoughtful conversation now. Let’s get back to the shopping, ‘kay?” she grinned and stood up.

“’kay.” Joey joined her smile and they walked towards the door.

  


~*~

  


It was close to lunch time when Joey stepped into the entrance area of the firm Pacey was working at. She had never been there before and it was only then that she realized that it was a big company. Of course it was a big one, nothing else would have fit Pacey. If he did something, he did it right. This was a far cry from the career at a circus he had envisioned years ago in her kitchen. Smiling softly Joey looked around, searching for any sign of Pacey. Instead of him she was confronted with a dozen or so men who were staring at her, obviously sizing her up and practically drooling as if they had never seen a female human being before. Joey started to feel self-conscious and gripped the handles of the bag she was holding tighter.

Pacey turned around the corner and stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of Joey standing at the entrance. His face was lit with a big smile, which was only clouded as he noticed the sheep eyes the guys were making at her. Sighing he pressed his lips together and walked with a few long strides over to her.

“Jo, hi!” Pacey touched her shoulder and when Joey turned around to him he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek and thus showing those leering guys off. “To what do I owe this honor?”

Joey stepped back a bit and smiled at him, swinging the small bag back and forth. “I... umm... I brought you an office-warming gift. ... You won’t get in trouble for having visitors, will you?” she asked a little concerned.

“No, no.” Pacey shook his head and his eyes sparkled as he grabbed the gift bag from Joey. He was really touched that she had come over just to give him something for his promotion. He wouldn’t look at it right then though, the men were still staring at them and he didn’t like how their eyes were traveling up and down her body. “Not if you stop distracting the boys,” he added jokingly. “You want to step into my office?” Pacey pointed down the hall.

“How professional.” Joey tilted her head and smiled.

Pacey grinned and they started to walk toward his new office. Joey let her eyes wander all over the place, trying to take everything in at once.

“So, everyone’s just on the phone. ... Is this what you do all day?” she asked teasingly.

“It’s a little more complicated than that.” Pacey frowned and stopped at a desk to his right, “Let me grab those... thanks, Tom,” reaching for a few folders he started to walk again.

Joey watched him and smiled. She was so proud of him and what he had achieved in such a short amount of time. She had always believed in him and now she saw the proof. “So... what makes you so busy now that you need an assistant?” she gesticulated with her hands, pointing around them.

“I don’t know,” Pacey grinned and lowered his head so he could whisper in her ear, “but to tell you the truth... she kind of freaks me out.”

Joey opened her mouth to say something when a woman walked over to them and she was obviously not very amused at that moment.

Pacey studied her annoyed expression, furrowing his brows. “Marcy? Hi, I’d like to introduce you to my... friend Joey.”

Marcy straightened and took a deep breath. Forcing herself to smile she looked at Joey. “Nice to meet you,” before turning back to Pacey, “For your information, Mr. Witter, the meeting’s been pushed to three p.m.” Taking another deep breath she added in a strained tone, “And Mr. Rinaldi’s in your office. ... And when you have a moment... I’d like a word.”

“A word?” Pacey asked confused.

“Don’t patronize me, Mr. Witter.” Marcy’s voice turned angry and raised a little. Still she tried to control her emotions.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” Pacey tried to apologize without really knowing why he had to. He just knew that something was wrong. “I... you can talk now... if you like?” He tried to read her expression to figure out what was going on. He felt somewhat helpless, which bothered him immensely, especially with Joey standing right next to him and witnessing the first problem he had to face.

“Fine, Mr. Witter.” Marcy adjusted her jacket and continued quieter again, “If you must know... Mr. Rinaldi fired me... and I’ll be leaving at the end of the day.” Without looking at him again she rounded her desk and hastily busied herself with some paperwork, effectively avoiding Pacey’s shocked gaze.

Pacey stared at his soon to be ex-secretary with wide eyes and sighed. The fact that Joey was touching his arm softly didn’t help him much. Why did she have to witness this? It wasn’t his fault per se, but still he felt like he was somehow responsible for the fact that his secretary was fired on his first day.

Silently Joey and Pacey entered his office. The door was wide open and they found Rich sitting with his back to them, in Pacey’s chair.

Hearing someone enter the office, Rich grinned and crossed his hands behind his head while slowly turning around in the comfortable leather chair. “Just breakin’ it in for you.” Spotting Joey standing next to Pacey, Rich leaned back in the chair, suggestively raising one eyebrow. “Oh... hey, who’s the looker?”

Opening her mouth Joey rolled her eyes. She knew immediately that Pacey’s boss was a slimy asshole. “You do realize that I’m standing right here?” she asked slightly annoyed.

“And you...” Rich stood up and walked towards them, his eyes never leaving Joey, “...do realize that was a compliment, right?” He stopped right in front of them and licked his lips.

Narrowing her eyes, Joey crossed her arms in front of her. If it wasn’t for the fact that this man happened to be Pacey’s boss, she would have given him a piece of her mind, but seeing the things as they were, she decided to say nothing.... for the time being at least.

Pacey wrung his hands and chuckled uncomfortably. He was used to Rich’s sexual innuendoes and his inappropriate way of treating women and usually he didn’t spend a second thought on his behavior, but now, when he addressed Joey like that, he felt ashamed for his boss. Not to mention that Joey wasn’t the kind of person to suck up a comment like that and not retort in any way. Any way he looked at it, this was not a good situation to be in.

“Rich, this is Joey. Joey... you remember Rich.” Pacey decided that was enough of pleasantries and cut right to the next topic on his list, at the same time cutting off any chance for Joey to lash out at his boss, “And... Rich, why is it, exactly, you fired my secretary?”

Rich shrugged and grinned indifferently. “Well, uh... she tried to kick me out of your office.”

“Doesn’t that deserve a raise?” Pacey asked dryly. Sometimes he questioned Rich’s qualifications for the job. Sure, he was a successful broker and yes, he had learned some tricks from him, but his personality wasn’t exactly suitable to let him deal with customers... or other people in general.

“Yeah, well ... I didn’t like her attitude, Witter... or the cut of her jib for that matter.” Rich chuckled, blatantly staring at Joey.

For the last few minutes Joey had tried her best to keep herself in check. She knew she shouldn’t get into a discussion with Pacey’s boss, but each syllable that was leaving his mouth made it harder for her to remain silent. Closing her eyes briefly she couldn’t stop herself from asking sarcastically, “You can fire somebody just because you don’t like the way they look? Isn’t that discrimination?”

Joey ran the tip of her tongue along her teeth and narrowed her eyes on Rich as she waited for a reply.

Finally diverting his eyes from the tantalizing brunette, Rich turned his head towards Pacey, glaring at him. “Is she human resources?”

Pacey held his breath a second before shaking his head. “No. No... no.” Casting a side glance at Joey he added, “She’s my... girlfriend.” He didn’t know if it was smart to admit that Joey, his girlfriend, was visiting him during work, but he didn’t want to hide their relationship, especially not from Rich. He wanted to clue him in that Joey was very unavailable.

“Oh...” Rich let his gaze wander back to Joey, sizing her up with the new information. Obviously Witter had to have something going for him, the girl was definitely hot and someone he wouldn’t kick from his bed. “So.... uh, why aren’t you in school today?” Rich licked his lips.

“I’m on spring break.” Joey leaned against Pacey’s shoulder feeling increasingly uncomfortable in Rich’s presence.

Pacey swallowed the anger that began to rise deep within himself at Rich’s advances. He knew that his boss never in a million years had any chance with Joey, but just the attempt let his blood boil. Smiling inwardly that Joey sought physical contact to him, he wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

“What do you do nine to five, Johnny?” Rich asked sweetly, totally ignoring Pacey

“Joey,” she corrected him in a bored voice. “Nothing at the moment...”

Rich smirked and raised his brows, “Yeah? I say you spend the next two weeks filling in here. You know how to play office, right?” Not leaving her time to reply he finally acknowledged Pacey standing next to her, “Why don’t you set that up, Witter? Huh? Guess that helps to soothe your pains for me firing your secretary... thinking about it... you should be very grateful. Not everybody gets the opportunity to get his girlfriend to work for him.” Rich stressed the word ‘girlfriend’ meaningfully and patted Pacey’s back as he pushed past them, purposefully brushing against Joey as he did so.

Leaving the office Rich paused to turn around and take a look at Joey’s back side just long enough to catch Pacey’s warning glance. Grinning widely he rubbed his hands together, walking away in search of another poor employee to play with.

“He’s kidding, right?” Joey asked irritated as she watched Pacey closing the tinted glass door behind his boss.

“Rich?” Pacey sighed and walked over to Joey, “No, he doesn’t really have much of a sense of humor.” Placing his hands on her hips he pulled her close to him. “I’m sorry, he’s a jerk... ignore him.”

Joey frowned. Of course Rich was a class A ass, but she did need a job... and spending more time with Pacey in whatever way possible did have a very nice ring to it. “Umm.... well, how much does it pay? I mean, hypothetically speaking?”

“I don’t know.... I think it’s like, six hundred bucks a week.” Pacey mumbled while nuzzling her hair.

Joey’s eyes widened and she pulled back to look at Pacey . “Are you serious?”

Searching her eyes, Pacey realized that Joey was actually thinking about Rich’s offer. It surprised him and he wasn’t sure what he should think about it. “Would you actually want to do it?” he asked carefully.

“Well... you have to admit, Pace... I mean, it is perfect timing, right?” Joey tried to explain. “I’m broke, we never see each other anymore...” she counted on her hand.

“Yeah, but hanging out by the coffee machine isn’t exactly a date now, is it?” Pacey reminded her smirking.

Joey reached for his tie and played with it, pretending to adjust it. “Who’s kidding who, Pace?.... Now, we both know that the boss doesn’t hang out by the coffee machine... that would be the assistant’s job. And if the boss would be hanging out there, well... that would be for a whole different reason then, don’t you think?” Joey smirked and looked at him with innocent eyes while letting the tip of her finger graze his neck.

“Maybe...” Pacey chuckled. Still he wasn’t convinced it would be a good idea to have Joey working for him, or with him... but the reasons for his doubts were fleeting at a high speed when she placed tiny kisses along his jaw line.

“It could be fun... spending time with you and getting paid for it...” Joey whispered against his skin.

“A dream come true, huh? Never thought you were all for the money, babe.” Pace smiled.

“A girl has to live somehow...” Joey grinned and stuck her tongue out.

Closing his eyes Pacey groaned silently. “And you’re sure you’d be comfortable with the whole boss/secretary power relationship?”

“We both know...” Joey paused and cradled Pacey’s face in her hands, “...who’s boss here.”

Her tone challenged him to say something, but he didn’t know what. She was right. Joey Potter held the power to wrap him around her beautiful little finger. He couldn’t remember when this wasn’t the case. Strangely he didn’t mind at all. No, being wrapped around her finger, her hand... just around her... that was the best place he could imagine to be. Maybe a little scary as well, but again he didn’t care much.

“Well, okay....yeah....” Pacey chuckled, and kissed her forehead, “... I mean, what’s the worst that could happen, right?”

Joey’s smile widened and her eyes sparkled. The prospect of a solution to her monetary crisis combined with the possibility to literally spend her vacation with Pacey boosted her good mood immensely. “Barring me taking over the company... nothing.”

Pacey laughed and shook his head. “Uh-huh, right, Potter. Whatever you say.”

Guiding her head gently up to him, he kissed her deeply before pulling back. This time his eyes were lit with an idea.

“What did Rich say? We should set it up, right? What about a nice business lunch... on the firm, of course, Miss Potter?” Pacey suggested mischievously.

  


~*~

  


Blowing out some air Pacey pushed against the front door of the office. The morning had been nothing but stressful and that after only a quarter of the whole work day. After arriving together two hours before, Rich had ordered him to meet an elderly client for breakfast and to work his charm on her. Somehow Pacey thought that his boss just wanted to get Joey alone and he was surprised how easily he became jealous.

The door hadn’t even closed behind him when he was confronted by one of his colleagues. James was a few years older than Pacey, shorter in stature and had a tendency to stutter whenever he got excited about one thing or another.

“Hey, Wit...ttt...er, nicely dddone. Nicely dddone, in...ddd...eed,” James grinned extremely red-faced.

“What are you talking about?” Pacey sighed slightly irritated.

“The new... hi...hire.” Winking at Pacey James tried to reduce his stammering to a minimum.

Realization dawned on Pacey. Of course, there was only one plausible explanation for the reason of James’s excitement. “Oh... Joey...”

Avoiding spoken language completely, James whistled appreciatively before heading out the door.

Pacey shook his head and slowly started to walk towards his office. Looking around he saw that most of the desks were deserted, the phones blinking desperately but never being answered.

The furrow between his eyebrows grew deeper by the second. Right in front of his office Pacey finally saw everyone, or to be specific, every male, huddled around Joey’s desk. The sight bordered on the weird side and Pacey couldn’t help but smile amusedly as he made his way over to them.

_She’s a freaking goddess._

He’d known it years ago, and the scene that was unfolding before his eyes was yet another proof in the long chain of evidences of this truth.

The men were practically drooling as each of them tried to outdo the others in the attempt to gain Joey’s undivided attention.

Joey on the other hand was nursing a cup of coffee while her expression was polite but undoubtedly disinterested. She hadn’t been able to do much since Pacey had left the office, because soon after the men flocked to her table as if she was magnetic or something. At first she’d tried to listen to what they were saying or even to talk to them, but they acted worse than hormonally driven teenagers. Suppressing a bored yawn she let her eyes dart around and was met by deep blue ones. Her whole being became alive at once. Placing the cup back on the desk she pushed herself higher on the chair and craned her neck to get a better view at Pacey. The men were following her gaze and their laughter gradually died down.

Ignoring the slightly disappointed glances of the men and the little twinge of jealousy, Pacey held their eye-contact, communicating much more than what he was actually saying aloud. “Hey, Jo.”

“Pace.” Joey’s smile widened. Maybe she shouldn’t talk about the teenager-like behavior of the men, when she herself felt like one the second Pacey got close to her.

Pacey placed his hand lightly on her shoulder before he looked at the assembly pointedly. “Excuse me... are these guys bothering you?”

“No.” Joey shrugged and covered Pacey’s hand with her own. “They may be trying to... but I can’t exactly tell...”

The man stared with wide eyes at the intimate gesture, not quite believing that Pacey had a right to touch her like that.

“We’re just showing her the ropes, Pacey,” Ben explained hastily.

Pacey looked at him and raised one eyebrow as if to say ‘Sure you are, my ass.”

Keith, a red-headed, stocky, Irish-American bent over and reached for the lever at Joey’s chair, hitting it so that the seat, and therefore Joey as well, dropped down. “Are you comfortable, Joey? I mean, this seems a little high.”

“Oh... whoa...” Joey was caught off guard by the sudden and uninvited movement and chuckled uncomfortably. “That’s... umm... super... thank you.” Truth to be told, it wasn’t comfortable, but she didn’t dare risk another involuntary ride on her swivel chair.

The frown returned to Pacey’s face. The insolence and boldness of the thirty-something jerk annoyed him extremely.

“Well, great.” Pacey stepped even closer and almost towered over Keith. “I’m glad we got that all fixed up. But seeing as this is my secretary... umm... most importantly, my girlfriend... why don’t you guys go back to your... well, to whatever you’re supposed to be doing.”

Maybe it wasn’t very professional to admit that Joey was his girlfriend and that she was working for him. Maybe the guys would start talking about how and why she got the job as an office temp. Maybe they would even laugh at him. The funny thing was, he didn’t care. When he started to work in the firm he wanted to impress the other employees and of course his boss, now that wasn’t his priority anymore.

One of the men nudged his neighbor in the side and grinned knowingly while the others stared at Pacey with almost bulging eyes and openmouthed. One single word had destroyed all the pretty daydreams they had been indulging in over the past hours.

Pacey held their inquiring gaze smilingly. He knew perfectly well what they were thinking or rather what they had been thinking about before his little announcement.

“See, what’s important for you to know is, a) she’s not gonna be here long, and b) she’s off the market.” Pacey clapped his hands together before raising them again in a gesture of mock regret. “So don’t get too attached... bye, bye.”

Slowly the men decided to keep what little pride they had left and trotted back to their desks. The disappointment was clearly written all over their faces, but neither Joey nor Pacey took further notice of that.

“Off the market, huh?” Joey leaned back on her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest as if she was offended by Pacey’s choice of words.

Pacey’s shoulders slumped slightly and the satisfied smile left his face. His speech had solved one problem but had created a totally different one. Lowering his gaze to study his feet intensely he tried to find a way out off the hole in which he had buried himself in.

“Umm... that... I didn’t mean it like that... I mean, not as if you were a thing that could ever be on a market whatsoever... or anything... I mean, I just...” Pacey wrung his hands nervously and shuffled with his foot.

Joey bit down on her lip, immensely enjoying seeing him squirming like this. “No?”

“No...”

“Are you jealous, Pace?” Joey rolled closer to him and tried to gauge his mimic.

“Me?” Pacey raised his brow and grinned sheepishly. He was jealous but he didn’t really want to admit it. “I just thought those guys were getting on your nerves... besides, they’re here to work, right? Not to drool.” Pacey bent forward and placed his hands on the armrests of Joey’s chair.

“Neander-creeps.” Joey shrugged good-naturedly, “Sorry about that.”

Pacey opened his mouth to say something when the telephone on Joey’s desk started to ring. It was time to go back to work and in a way Pacey was glad to escape the question Joey had posed.

  


~*~

  


“You were calling?” Joey asked as she walked into Pacey’s office.

Pacey was playing with the executive toy that Joey had given him the other day. Holding it in his left hand he shook it while he watched the little balls sway back and forth. Hearing her voice he dragged his eyes from the toy and looked at her while raising the object in his hand into the air.

“Yeah... what is this?”

“Oh...” Joey played nervously with the pen she was holding. “Well, that’s your office-warming gift. It’s a Newton’s Cradle” She paused and looked down. Maybe the idea of buying this toy hadn’t been so good after all. “You forgot to open it yesterday...”

“Ahh, right... I left it here when we went out for... lunch...” Pacey smiled suggestively.

“Yeah, I thought since now you’re a true professional and you have an office of your own, that you deserve pointless gadgets to stick on your desk.” Joey raised her eyes and returned his smile despite the blush that was covering her cheeks.

“Well, thank you, Miss Potter. That’s very thoughtful of you.” Pacey placed the cradle carefully back on his desk and flicked the silver ball closest to his hand to set it in motion once again.

“Well, I’m the best assistant ever.” Joey grinned relieved that he did like her gift.

The tip of her tongue was barely visible between her teeth. She probably didn’t even know it, but it was one of her smiles that Pacey loved most. It was her unique expression of pure happiness. Of course Pacey had noticed it and the good thing was that he was sitting behind his desk, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to control himself. He swallowed and tried to think of something else. Surprisingly he found something that helped him immediately. It was highly probable that her smile wasn’t only for him an absolute turn-on. Maybe she had smiled at the other men, too. The green-eyed monster triumphantly reared its ugly head again.

“Of course you are.” He paused, but was unable to stop himself, “You know, uh... when I got in from the meeting this morning?” Pacey kept their eye contact but pointed with an outstretched arm behind himself to where a blue and empty thermos jug rested. “You forgot to make coffee... and I like to start the morning with a cup.”

Joey followed his gesture and frowned. “Oh, well... you had already started your morning with several cups of coffee, didn’t you?” She wasn’t quite sure where his sudden change of mood came from.

“Huh?” Pacey cleared his throat. Of course she was right and he berated himself for even starting to pick a fight, no matter how small, with her. “Yeah, sure... but I meant, starting my day at the office with a cup. Maybe you’ve been a little preoccupied with all your admirers...” his voiced trailed off cursing himself silently for his idiotic accusations.

“Right.” Joey narrowed her eyes on him. Jealousy oozed out of his every pore and despite his stupid behavior she did like it somehow. Not the jealousy per se, but the reason that was behind it.

“Well, you were a chef, right?” Joey pursed her lips and nodded slightly as if she was trying to convince a small kid that it could accomplish a very difficult task all on its own. “I mean, you can make it yourself, can’t you?”

Pacey stared at her. “Gotcha,” he thought defeated. He should have known better than to argue with one certain Miss Potter.

Joey mentally patted herself on her shoulder as she watched Pacey open and close his mouth. There was really no question who was boss.

“Sure, ... yeah...” Pacey managed to utter just as Rich walked through the open door of his office. Trying to cover his lapse in front of his boss he fumbled with some folders and handed one to Joey. “Could you run this down to Tom, please?”

“Sure.” Joey smiled and grazed his hand with her fingertips before turning around.

Rich stopped right under the doorframe, effectively forcing Joey to squeeze herself through the small space that was left. While passing by Joey pityingly glanced at him for his blatant advances.

“Are you sure you need to find a replacement?” Rich asked as he continued to stare after Joey.

Pacey rolled his eyes and closed them briefly before talking to Rich’s backside, “She’s got another job, and she’s in school...” Pacey waited until Rich finally faced him and then stressed each word by pointing his index finger toward his boss, “... and most importantly, she’s unavailable, Rich.”

“All right... okay.” Rich muttered lightly and looked over his shoulder in hopes to catch another glimpse of Joey, but had no such luck.

Pacey rubbed his chin, feeling like he could have talked to wall as well, because Rich obviously didn’t give a damn about his warning. “Tell you the truth, the whole thing’s becoming a bit of a debacle. I got here this morning... the guys were all over her desk.”

Rich finally turned his attention towards Pacey shrugging his shoulders and sighed. “Like that’s not gonna happen with anything remotely female.”

“And she’s also my girlfriend which...” Pacey stopped right in time to prevent himself from saying that he couldn’t stand watching the guys drooling all over her and added, “...umm... makes it a little awkward when I’m trying to tell her what to do.”

Rich chuckled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You’ve got to get yourself together, man. There’s a reporter coming in to talk to us later... and I don’t want you to be snotting all over your tie because you haven’t had a nonfat mocha latte grande or whatever.”

While Rich was announcing the appearance of a reporter Joey returned to the office with another folder that Tom had sent in for Pacey and as he started to talk about the coffee she stepped closer to Pacey’s desk and smiled, winking at him.

Pacey returned her smile brightly, knowing that he was forgiven. “A reporter for who?” It was a little difficult for him to concentrate on what Rich was telling him as he watched Joey sitting down on her chair and her skirt riding up a bit as she did so.

“I don’t know. Some chick from the financial section to discuss our little up-and-coming company here. See how the big boys play and whatnot.” Rich grinned.

“Cool.” Pacey flipped through the folder.

“Yeah, it’s swell,” Rich affirmed with a bored sing-song voice. “So you better straighten up, ‘cause it seems like this broad is interested in you in particular... rising to the top in record time or something.” He raised is brow, not quite believing that a greenhorn like Pacey was getting so much attention.

Joey bent forward on her chair and glanced into Pacey’s office. A female reporter was interested in Pacey? Somehow she didn’t like the tone in which Rich was talking. Frowning she watched Pacey’s reaction.

“Really? She wants to talk to me, huh?” Pacey’s eyes widened and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He couldn’t believe that someone actually wanted to interview him. It made him feel proud and he straightened right away.

Rich grimaced and gesticulated disparagingly, “Seriously, it’s the financial section. Who reads that?” He turned on his heels and left the room without even looking at Joey.

Pacey smiled happily and shrugged. He didn’t care who read the financial section, just the fact that a reporter thought him worthy to be interviewed and maybe to print what he might have to say boosted his ego immensely.

As soon as Rich left Joey got up and trailed her hand around the doorframe. Slowly approaching Pacey who was still delving into the idea of being interviewed she couldn’t help but smile as well. He looked too cute in his happiness.

“So, she wants to talk to you?”

Slightly disoriented Pacey looked up and blinked a few times before Joey’s words registered in his brain. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“Well, yes. I’m your assistant. It’s my job.... it’s what I do,” Joey stated simply trying to hide the proud grin that was persistently tugging on the corners of her mouth.

Pacey glanced from the Newton’s Cradle up to Joey and back again. “Mm-hmm.” Reaching for the toy he pulled a ball away before releasing it so that it set the others into motion. The playful click-clack of the bumping balls rang out instantly. Folding his hands Pacey cocked his head to the side and cast an ‘I-am-the-king‘ glance at Joey who smirked, batted her lashes and returned to her desk, provocatively swaying her hips.

Pacey took a deep breath and groaned silently. Rocking back into his chair he just watched Joey and listened to the brazen sound. Life was good.

  


~*~

  


“I’m sorry that I called you while you’re working... I just...” Jen sniffed and cradled her cell phone.

“It’s okay, Jen. Don’t worry. Don’t you remember all the those times I called you when... Pacey... you know, after...” Joey sighed, not really wanting to go there.

“Yeah... still that was different.” Jen took a deep breath.

“What did he do?” Joey asked softly as she watched Pacey pacing behind his desk, talking enthusiastically into his headset. He was all grown up now, a wonderful man... and still he had so much of the boy she had fallen in love with. It was amazing, he was amazing.

“I was trying to talk to him, but... well, it didn’t go so well and basically he called me slut.” The hurt was evident in her voice and Joey wasn’t sure how she could soothe her friend.

“He didn’t say that, Jen... did he?”

“No, well, not really... but he said, and I’m quoting here, ‘I don't understand why the creeps and the scumbags who treated you so poorly got the benefit of your sex drive. Whereas guys like me who actually treat you fairly well... we get ridiculed for wanting to have sex with you.’ Now how should I understand that, if he’s not calling me a slut?” Jen asked angrily.

“Look, I know that this sounds bad... but I also know that C.J. would never call you a slut, he wouldn’t even think that. I guess, he’s just insecure and...well, boys... men... they won’t admit it, but they’re just as scared about how they compare...” Joey explained frowning. Who was she trying to kid here? She wasn’t exactly apt to give advice on relationships, was she?

“So I overreacted... again?” Jen sighed.

“I’d say yes. You two just have to talk about it... and don’t run away when you think he’s wrong.” Joey suggested still with her eyes glued to Pacey.

“How do you know I ran away?” Jen’s eyes widened and she stopped walking.

Joey laughed. “Well, that was just a wild guess... but I used to do the same.”

 

~*~

 

Pacey felt Joey’s eyes on him and found it extremely hard, in more ways than one, to listen to his client. Pacing back and forth in his office he tried to concentrate on business, but every so often his thoughts drifted elsewhere.

“I hear what you’re saying, Walter. I’m just not willing to push it that hard. Look, I just don’t have the numbers, okay?” Pacey explained while rubbing his chin.

“What do you mean, you don’t have the numbers? I sent you a fax,” Walter stated dryly.

“Well, when? Okay, hold on a second... let me ask my secretary.” Pacey frowned and walked over to Joey who was still on the phone.

“Hey, Jo...”

Joey looked up and directly into Pacey’s irritated face. “Umm... gotta go. I’ll call you later, okay? Bye.” She flipped her cell phone shut and blushed as if he had caught her red-handed stealing cookies from the jar.

“Look, did a fax come in... like twenty minutes ago?” Pacey asked calmly but bit on his lower lip.

“Oh, yeah, right... I’m sorry...” Joey turned into a nice tomato shade of red and offered him the fax that she had intended to hand in several minutes ago.

Pacey nodded and hurried back to his desk. “Okay Walter, I got it right in front of me. Sorry for the delay... shoot.”

Joey waited guiltily until Pacey finished his conversation before she walked over to him. Standing in front of his desk, she fiddled with her blouse and cleared her throat to get his attention.

“I’m sorry, Pace. Jen called... and... she’s got a problem with C.J... and...”

Pacey sighed and studied Joey’s flushed face. He could tell she was really ashamed for causing him the little trouble. “Forget it, it’s okay... nothing happened. I’m sorry that Jen has problems... and I understand that you wanted to help her... but maybe you should turn your cell off while we’re working here, okay?”

“Okay... I’m sorry.” Joey’s voice was small and she felt like Pacey was scolding her.

Pacey stood up and reached over his desk to take her hand in his, intertwining their fingers easily. “Jo, it’s really okay. Mistakes happen, just... you know...”

“Yeah, I know.” Joey smiled softly. “It won’t happen again.”

Pacey nodded and brought her hand up to brush his lips over her knuckles. A small gesture that held so much meaning for both of them.

Kissing her palm once again Pace was startled by the sudden appearance of a woman, not just any woman, but the one he had met at the company party.

Flashing her his most winning smile he let go of Joey’s hand abruptly and greeted her. “Hi.”

Sadia totally ignored Joey’s presence and just looked at Pacey with sparkling eyes. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Pacey wondered as he missed Joey’s somewhat hurt expression.

“Well...” Sadia smiled, “your secretary wasn’t at her desk, so I hope...”

“Oh, “ Pacey quickly darted his eyes towards Joey seeing the questions in her dark eyes, questions that held no promise of being pleasant.

 

~*~

 

Forcing himself to act professionally, Pacey straightened and smiled at Sadia. “That’s fine. She’s... umm, that’s ... she’s there.” He pointed at Joey, groaning inwardly at his incapability to form a coherent sentence.

Joey’s face hardened slightly as she tried to figure out why exactly Pacey was so nervous and why he had let go of her hand as he had done something forbidden. Thinking about it, there could only be one possible explanation. Joey watched the interaction between the woman and Pacey. He knew her, they had met before, that much was obvious. She had to acknowledge that she was beautiful, long dark and curly hair, big eyes, a little smaller than herself and she was showing her big smile, a flirting smile. Joey swallowed and lifted her chin. She didn’t want to be jealous, she didn’t want to let some fleeting acquaintance affect her so much.

“Oh, okay...” Sadia turned to Joey and smiled at her. “You wouldn’t mind hanging this up for me then, would you?” she asked sweetly and handed her coat to Joey.

Joey took the coat but remained frozen to the spot where she was standing. “Do you have an appointment, Miss?” Joey asked coolly.

“Why yes.” Sadia ignored Joey and smiled widely at Pace. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Uh, this is Sadia Shaw, Pacey... the reporter I was telling you about,” Rich declared as he entered Pacey’s office and positioned himself behind the two women, admiring the view.

“Of course.” Pacey extended his hand.

“Pleased to meet you again.” Sadia took his offered hand into hers, holding it while she continued, “So I guess the rumors I’ve been hearing are true, Pacey. You’re certainly moving up in the world.”

Joey couldn’t draw her eyes away from their still joined hands. Both seemed to be very comfortable with the contact, because neither tried to remove their hand.

Joey felt her heartbeat quicken as a hot sensation rushed through her body. “So you guys know each other?” she heard herself say, but it sounded somewhat muted to her.

“Not entirely...” Sadia accentuated the last word and let it and its meaning linger in the air for a moment, “... but I guess that’s what the interview’s for.”

“I guess so.” Pacey chuckled but stopped when he met Joey’s eyes.

Rich found the whole situation very entertaining and couldn’t help but laugh. The evil glare Joey shot at him just fueled his amusement.

“Hey, is there anything we can get you to make you more comfortable?” Pacey inquired obligingly before his tone became slightly demanding, “Jo, would you mind grabbing us a pot of coffee?”

Joey gasped. If he wanted to play boss now in front of the reporter he would reap what he sowed. Her tone was cold as she replied and her eyes were hard. “Sure, Mr. Witter. I will get right on that.”

Pacey’s face fell. Joey’s cold attitude cut right through him although he wasn’t completely sure what it was that had set her off like that.

“Thank you.” Sadia smiled overly sweetly at Joey before demanding Pacey’s attention again.

“Yeah, thank you.” Pacey muttered and watched Joey out of the corner of his eyes. It felt like she had raised a wall between them in a matter of seconds. He was confused, but at that moment he couldn’t think it. Right then he had to be nothing but professional.

Walking around his desk he guided Sadia over to the couch which was set against the side wall. “Why don’t you step in, make yourself more comfortable.”

Joey followed them with her eyes. She was sure that Pacey did have some kind of history with that woman. It shouldn’t hurt her like it did, because if there had been something, it happened before they got together again. But it did hurt. Biting her lip she left the office, tempted to throw Sadia’s coat in the next best and preferably dirty corner.

 

~*~

 

After Joey had left them alone, Pacey straightened and concentrated on the questions Sadia was posing. Nevertheless only a small part of his brain could focus on the topic at hand. The greater part and his heart were contemplating over Joey’s behavior. She seemed hurt and that was the last thing Pacey wanted her to be.

“So, Rich... would you say that Pacey’s arrival and your rise in profitability had a direct correlation?” Sadia tilted her head to get a better view of Rich who was leaning against Pacey’s desk.

“Well, let’s not get crazy here. We all know how unpredictable the market is. It just so happens we also started to push a new stock around that time, and it did very well for us.” Rich tried to play Pacey’s part in their success down.

“And that would be Stepatech.” Sadia nodded and scribbled something in her notebook.

“Yes. And, as a matter of fact, I was the first person who went out with Stepatech,” Pacey interfered.

“Yeah, that’s correct. Pacey was the first,” Rich acknowledged, bored. He didn’t really care about this interview, especially because he felt like it really should be him they should want to talk to. He had been in the business much longer than Pacey. He had made the company into what it was now, but obviously nobody cared about his efforts.

“This must be quite a coup for you, Pacey...” Sadia licked her lips as she crossed her legs slowly. “I heard that until recently you were a cook?”

Rich shook his head and snorted lightly.

Pacey frowned and looked at Rich as he answered, “Yeah, actually I did dabble for a while in the food service industry, but I’m quite...,” but was interrupted in mid-sentence as they heard a loud bang, followed by a torrent of curses, very Potter sounding curses.

Joey closed her eyes and shook her head. Of course this had to happen. Straying around Pacey’s ajar door, attempting to catch what was said inside she had accidentally knocked over a small side table where a box with forgotten Christmas-giveaways had sat. Defeated she stuck her head inside the office, “Nothing happened, nothing irretrievable at least. Sorry for the... umm... disturbance.” Joey smiled lopsidedly and disappeared again.

Pacey ran one hand through his hair and smiled uncomfortably. “I apologize for that. It’s her first day...”

“Ah.” Sadia shrugged and threw her hair back.

“Anyway... Where was I?” Pacey asked confused.

“I wish I could remember. I was riveted.” Rich grimaced.

Sadia opened her mouth, ready to shoot another question, only to be interrupted again by Joey, who came in bearing a tray loaded with cups, sugar, milk and coffee along with some cookies. “Fresh coffee?” she asked innocently.

“Great.” Pacey jumped in and pointed to his desk. “You can just put it on the desk.”

Joey simply gazed at him and put the tray right in front of him on the coffee table. “Nah, that wouldn’t be practical.” Dropping several lumps of sugar in one of the cups she turned to Sadia. “Pacey just can’t drink his coffee without tons of sugar.”

Pacey had absolutely no idea why Joey was acting so strangely and knowing that it didn’t look that good, he tried to cut his losses as early as possible. Not to mention that he didn’t want Joey to make a fool of herself.

“All right. Thanks for your help... Miss Potter. That’ll be all.”

Ignoring Pacey, Joey smiled sweetly at Sadia. “And how do you take yours?”

“Uh, just a splash of cream... nonfat, if you have it, please. Thank you.” Sadia didn’t even bother to look up and just held her hand out while she continued to jot down notes.

Placing a mug in Sadia’s outstretched hand, Joey reached for the milk can. “Of course.” She hadn’t thought about doing anything else than pouring coffee, but Sadia’s request for cream put a whole new idea into her mind. A wicked smile cleaved its way to her face. Holding the can high above Sadia’s mug she poured the cream right to the left of it and therefore directly on her pant clad leg.

“Oh... my... god.” Joey grabbed a few napkins and started to wipe at the spot on the expensive pants. She knew she behaved badly to say the least, but by doing it she felt strangely satisfied.

“Oh! You know what? I can get it,” Sadia spat still trying to remain calm.

Joey raised her eyebrows and licked her lips. For a short moment both woman stared at each others eyes. Sparks were flying, dangerous sparks.

Rich rubbed his hands together, grinned sardonically and let his tongue dart out. This was exactly what he wanted to see. A catfight right in his office, right before his eyes. This was a day to his liking.

“I’m so sorry.” Joey tossed the napkin back on the tray.

“I got it.” Sadia dabbed at the prominent spot while glaring at Joey. She actually [i] _got_ [/i] more than the ability of taking care of the stain. Apparently Pacey Witter’s status had changed since she saw him last. Her female sixth sense had warned her the minute she walked into his office, that the secretary was much more. No matter how sexy Pacey might be, she could live without troubles like this.

Shocked by the incident, Pacey had spilled his own coffee over his hand. Pressing his lips together he dried his hand with another napkin. He was pissed off and glared at Joey. Was it really too much to ask for the chance of boosting his career?

To his deepest regret Rich noted that the free entertainment was over and suggested, “Witter, uh... why don’t we... continue this interview in my office? I’m sure we’ll be more comfortable there.”

Sadia quickly gathered her things and stood up. The faster she got away from the jealous girlfriend, the better for her and her designer goodies.

Rich opened the door for Sadia and whispered loudly, “You know, it’s much bigger!”

Pacey adjusted his tie and waited until the door had closed behind them. Joey cast a guilty glance at Pacey, who returned it angrily without saying one word.

“It was an accident,” Joey blurted and attempted to smile.

“Really! An accident.” Pacey stated poignantly. “Now, why do I find that so hard to believe?”

“You better get going,” the notorious Potter stubbornness kicked in, “You don’t want to miss your fifteen minutes of fame, do you?” Joey turned and left the office. She knew it was her fault that Pacey was pissed right now, but why did he have to flirt with Sadia in the first place, nevertheless right before her eyes?

Pacey took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. One minute life was as good as it gets and then, only moments later he found himself in a mess like this.

  


~*~

  


The rest of the day dragged on very slowly. After the interview Pacey had returned to his office and busied himself with paperwork. He hadn’t said one word to her, and Joey couldn’t stand his silent treatment any longer. Finishing her last assignment, she walked into his office and placed a file down on his desk.

Pacey barely looked up and just nodded as he continued to stare at the papers in front of him. Joey sighed and turned around. Before leaving his office she cast one last, sad glance back at him and found him gazing at her.

“Well, what was that earlier?” Pacey put his pen down. They had to talk about it and seeing her so sad broke his heart.

Joey sighed. Pacey looked tired and one reason for that was probably her encounter with Sadia. “How do you know that woman?”

“The reporter?” Pacey’s eyes widened. So that was the reason. Joey was jealous. “I met her once...” he emphasized the once by raising his index finger, “...at a function. Months ago. I didn’t even know her name.” Pacey needed her to understand that there was no reason to be jealous.

“Why does that not shock me?” Joey couldn’t help it. So he did meet her before, once, but she knew that it didn’t mean that there hadn’t been more between them. It had happened before, right?

“God, Joey. We were never formally introduced. I mean, would it have killed you to have acted professionally today?” Pacey shook his head. He really didn’t understand her behavior.

“Come on, Pacey. You guys are pigs.” Joey stepped closer to his desk and watched him stare at her openmouthed. “You didn’t even realize that... you were...” crossing her arms in defense she stopped briefly. “I’m sorry, but according to cavemen standards, which seem to be the art of procedure in this company, I’m not the professional type.”

Pacey frowned. Joey didn’t make much sense there, even if she was jealous, which was nice in a weird way, he had never experienced her like this. “And what type is that? The type that can pour a cup of coffee without painting it all over the walls?” he paused and watched her clenching her jaw. “Because you’re not that type. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you’re talking about here.”

“That’s all an assistant is to you, isn’t it? Just some chick who pours coffee,” Joey muttered defiantly.

Pacey threw his hands in the air, completely lost. “I didn’t realize that you wanted to be a career assistant.”

“Why do you think Rich fired Marcy? ‘Cause she’s over thirty. Have you ever noticed the assistants here?” Joey practically yelled and pointed to the door. She knew she wasn’t making any sense but didn’t know what to say or how to explain why she was saying anything of this.

Squinting his eyes at her, Pacey had to suppress the urge to laugh at the stupidity of it all. “I feel like there’s no good way to answer that question.”

“They look like the Maxim girls of the office out there,” Joey explained annoyed.

“I guess I’ve never noticed.” Pacey shrugged. “Because when I come here, it’s to do my job. Nothing more, nothing less. Which I was actually pretty good at until you came here and sabotaged me.”

“I didn’t sabotage you... I just... all I’m asking for is a little respect...” Joey’s voice trailed of and she stared at her feet.

“Woman! You’re wrecking my head,” Pacey exclaimed frustrated. “What the hell are we talking about here? And don’t tell me this is about how to treat an assistant, ‘cause we both know that’s not the real problem here.”

“Frankly, Pacey. I’m beginning to understand the nickname.” Joey’s defense mode took over.

“What nickname?” Pacey frowned. Again they had switched topics and his head started to spin.

“They call you witless.” Joey propped her hands on the desk and bent down to Pacey.

“Who calls me witless?” Pacey narrowed his eyes on her.

Joey elongated her chin and straightened. “I think that would be unprofessional of me to disclose such information.”

“Where was that professionalism when you were pouring cream down the reporter’s leg?” Pacey asked and leaned back.

“Oh, please. Don’t say ‘reporter’ like you haven’t burned that girl’s name into your memory.” Joey rolled her eyes, not only at him, but also at herself for giving away the fact that she was jealous. Sighing, she was about to turn around as Pacey’s voice stopped her.

“You know, I don’t think this is the proper arena to vent your jealousy.” Pacey smiled. Josephine Potter was jealous. He should have known it right away. He had been there when she lashed out at Jen years ago, hadn’t he?

“Jealous?” Joey walked back briskly. “Hardly. Okay, yeah. I might’ve had some sort of psychotic lapse, but that was odd, really , because... why would I be jealous?” she almost clipped several words in her rush to contradict Pacey’s statement.

“I don’t know.” Pacey’s smile grew wider. Joey couldn’t fool him. He knew what was going on.

“It’s not like you’d ever be attracted to the shrewd business type, right?” Joey asked but the sharpness of her voice couldn’t mask the insecurity that lay beneath it. How could she know if Pacey wasn’t attracted to women like Sadia? It had been two years and he did meet a lot of different women in this time.

Pacey grinned and moved his chair closer to his desk, bending forward even more so that only inches were parting them. “Well... you know, I’m not so sure about that. Actually there’s this certain brunette, very shrewd woman that kind of coined my taste in the female species.”

Joey inhaled sharply and Pacey watched her face as the true meaning behind his words started to sink in. She relaxed a little, but her defenses were still up. He could almost see the next verbal onslaught forming in her chocolate eyes. Deciding to take the wind out of her sails he added, “Well, what does it matter? ‘Cause you’re not jealous. Right?”

Joey opened her mouth and licked her lips. What should she reply to that? Seeing Pacey smirk triumphantly Joey aimed for at least taking him down with her if she couldn’t win the debate in the first place.

“Right. Just like you haven’t been jealous this morning... or this whole day, huh?”

“Umm...” Pacey sucked at his lower lip helplessly. Why hadn’t he seen that one coming? “I ... well, no...”

“Thinking about it, that wasn’t the proper arena to vent your jealousy either, was it?” Joey asked challenging.

For a moment Pacey was at loss of words. Fine, both of them were jealous, both of them had acted strangely, but he wasn’t quite ready to eat humble pie just yet.

“You know what? I’d like to issue an apology. Take a letter, would you?”

Joey stared at him as if he was crazy and pursed her lips speechlessly.

“You’re gonna need a pen and paper,” he explained calmly and handed her a notepad and a pen.

Trying to swallow a harsh remark Joey took the items and sat down in the chair opposite to Pacey.

Reclining in his chair once more, Pacey twiddled his thumbs and started to dictate. “Dear... Miss... Shaw... it was...wonderful... to see you this afternoon.” Scratching his chin and watching Joey morosely scribbling on her notepad, he changed his mind. “No, no. Go back.... it was... lovely... to see you again. I would like to take this opportunity... to apologize for my secretary’s behavior.” Pacey noticed that Joey had stopped writing and pushed back in his chair to get up and walked towards her while still dictating. “Because, you see... she’s new... and very... bad.”

Joey stood up as well, meeting him halfway and accentuated each word with a light dab against his chest. “I missed the last part. It was something moronic followed by something inane.”

For a split second they stared at each other, the remnants of their heated discussion still tangible, before their gazes softened and they jumped into each other’s arms, kissing passionately and trying to release all the pent-up emotions that had gathered within them over the day.

Pacey’s hand immediately went for her bun, fiddling around with the hair pins until they complied and her tresses tumbled down to her shoulders and over his hand. He needed her closer, needed to feel her and from the way she was responding to him, he knew that she needed just the same. Lifting her swiftly up in his arms he carried her over to the couch and laid her down, quickly following and never breaking their fervent kisses.

Joey moaned against Pacey’s lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer against her. He was halfway kneeling above her, halfway straddling her with one foot left on the ground for leverage.

At this point their whole day ceased to be anything but a indescribable long and seductive foreplay.

Sliding her hands over his shoulders she slipped them under the lapels of his jacket, impatiently tugging at it. Pacey made short work of shrugging the offending item off of him and threw it recklessly to the floor before his hands returned to Joey’s face.

Their tongues met in their wonted ritual, teasing, tempting and leaving them both wanting more. Joey’s fingertips skimmed lightly over his ribcage and up and down his sides, sending shivers through his whole body. The feelings were so intense he had to capture her hands and bring them up to rest above her head in fear he would lose it completely just from her soft touch. He was about to give her a lesson on sweet payback as the sound of someone coughing slightly distracted him.

Rich entered Pacey’s office in his usual way without knocking and was rewarded with a heart and other parts warming sight. Having always been a little voyeur, he enjoyed watching Pacey and Joey making out right before his eyes ere he started, more or less enthusiastically, to draw attention to his presence.

Slightly embarrassed to be caught in a compromising situation and position, Pacey turned his head to identify the intruder while Joey tried to hide her flushed face.

“I’m, uh, headed out, Witter.” Rich grinned and adjusted his dress pants for good measure. “Don’t forget our dinner date with the big boss.” Instead of leaving like any normal human being with the smallest sense of tact would have done long ago, Rich seemed perfectly happy being rooted to his spot. Raising his eyebrows mockingly he muttered, “Jeez, man. At least I waited a week with mine.”

Finally heading towards the door, Rich was stopped by Joey’s scoff, “More like she pondered the level of her disgust for a week.”

Swallowing hard, Rich nodded slowly. “Good one.” It was the first time that a woman, an employee no less, dared to answer him back like that. He had to take his hat off for her for that. Without another word he left the office, banging the door behind him.

Pacey looked down at Joey and smirked. “Pigs... we’re all pigs.”

“Mm-hmm,” Joey mumbled and raised her head to kiss Pacey quickly.

Just as Pacey tried to deepen their kiss once more, Joey pulled back and put her hands against his chest. Slightly irritated Pacey drew back and gazed questioning into her desire-filled eyes.

Smiling at his confusion, Joey whispered, “Lock the door, Pace.”

Pacey’s eyes widened in surprise as he realized what Joey was insinuating. He kissed her again and then jumped up and almost fell to the floor in the attempt to reach the door.

“Don’t move,” Pacey said while locking the door, but when he turned to the couch again, he found it empty.

  


~*~

  


Darting his eyes hastily through the room, the last rational thought left him, when he finally saw her sitting lasciviously right on his desk. Her hands were propped up behind her, enabling her to lean back, while presenting her breasts to him. Her head was tilted towards him, her mouth slightly opened, her eyes big and dark. Her feet rested on his chair with her legs crossed decently and thus in complete contrast to the rest of her tempting appearance.

Licking his lips, Pacey slowly walked backwards to where his jacket lay discarded on the floor, unable to tear his eyes from her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Joey asked huskily.

“Umm... there’s something we’ll need in a ... few moments,” Pacey cleared his throat.

“Are you looking for this?” Joey smiled and waved with the small foil wrapper she had hidden in her hand.

“Snooping around my pockets?” Pacey tossed the jacket back to the floor.

“Nah, no need for that... remember, you told my where you kept the goods.”

“I did, huh?” Smirking and remembering, Pacey walked over to her and ran his fingertips up her legs, slowly sliding her skirt farther up her thighs before lifting them from the chair and parting them gently to step between them. Trailing his hands up her thighs and over her hips to her back, he pulled her closer to the edge of the desk to get her closer to him. “What was wrong with the couch?”

“Nothing...” Joey hooked her feet around Pacey’s legs and brought her hands between them, starting to loosen his tie, “... but we already have so many couch-memories...” Her voice trailed off as she managed to free him from his silken accessory. Tossing it in the general direction of the jacket she continued to work on the buttons of his shirt. Nerve-rackingly slow, she eased each of them through their small buttonholes and placed tiny kisses down his throat. “Besides... how much time do you spend on that couch... opposed to the time you spend at your desk?”

“God, woman...” Pacey groaned and tightened his grip on her waist. He doubted he’d ever be able to work at that desk... or in his office for that matter... again... ever.

Needing to feel him skin to skin, Joey pulled the now opened shirt out of his pants and slipped her hands under his wife-beater. She could feel his muscles flex under her touch and sighed contently.

Her small noise was almost enough to send him over the edge. Just the idea of crossing yet another border of his fantasies with her was overwhelming. Pacey ran his hands slowly up her legs by trailing lazy patterns. He knew they didn’t have much time for foreplay and that this adventure would be a quickie at the office, actually that was the turn-on, but he couldn’t help himself. Whenever he touched her, he couldn’t get enough, never. Pushing her skirt higher he made an interesting discovery.

“Tigh-high stockings, Jo? Did you plan something like this?” Pacey asked admiringly and kissed the bare skin just above the lacy top of her stockings.

“No...” Joey smiled teasingly, “...at least I didn’t plan anything for the office hours... and I was shopping with Jen at...”

“You know, right now would be another perfect moment to stop talking...” Pacey whispered huskily against her lips before capturing them hungrily with his own.

  


~*~

  


“Are you sure that I can’t drive you to Hell’s Kitchen?” Pacey asked for the hundredth time as he parked in front of Joey’s dormitory.

“Pace, no. I need to change into something... different,” Joey tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and looked pointedly at her fairly rumpled blouse and skirt.

“What have you done to your beautiful outfit?” Pacey smirked and reached for her hand. “Once a tomboy, always a tomboy, huh? Just can’t wear...”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d better stop now, Pacey. I didn’t do anything, ... that would have been your impatient self, that couldn’t wait for me to undress before you... ravaged me,” Joey protested mockingly but snaked her free hand around his neck and pulled him down to her, kissing him passionately.

“Mhmm... okay, point taken,” Pacey grinned as he pulled back after a while. “I could wait...” he offered again, not really comfortable with the thought of her walking to the bar in the evening.

“Stop it. You don’t have time, you need to get to that fancy restaurant to meet this big boss of yours and the firm’s own pervert, what was his name again?” Joey joked and caressed his cheek softly with her thumb.

“I’m so not in the mood for that,” Pacey sighed and rested his forehead against hers, inhaling deeply.

“Yes you are, too. Remember, boosting your career? Playing with the big boys? And I’m really happy that your boss is male...” Joey alluded to their all-for-the-career-dinner not so long ago.

“Aww, still jealous?” Pacey brushed his lips over hers again.

“Am not,” Joey nibbled lightly at his lower lip, causing him to deepen the kiss.

They almost gave in to a repeat performance of their office quickie, this time in Pacey’s car, but at the last moment Joey regained her consciousness and drew back.

“You can pick me up after your dinner though, what do you say?”

“I’ll most certainly do that,” Pacey kissed her again, short and hard. “Okay, I’d better get going now...” sighing he scooted back in his seat and got out of the car to open the door for Joey.

  


~*~

  


Just as she had predicted, the evening was slow at the bar. Only a few patrons lost their way into Hell’s Kitchen and she counted the minutes to closing time.

“I think we’re done for today, huh?” Steve asked and turned towards Joey.

“Huh?” frowning she tilted her head and stared at the new bartender who replaced Eddie shortly after he left for California.

“Where were you just now?” Steve chuckled and lifted the steel cash box. “Day is over. Time to close the register. Time to clean up. Time to go home.”

“Yeah, right. Sorry, I’m kinda tired or something.” Joey took the cash box from Steve when the door opened. Ready to tell whoever it was that they were closed, she looked up and met Pacey’s smiling face.

“Hey, Mr. Witter. What can I get you?” she set the box down and smiled.

“Oh, nothing, actually.” Pacey walked over to the bar. “I’m kinda partial to this jacket. ... Besides, I don’t think you’ve got what I want on the menu.” Pacey smirked and adjusted his jacket.

“Tired or something, huh?” Steve mumbled and grinned as he walked past Joey into the kitchen.

Joey blushed a little at his comment before concentrating on Pacey again. “Not the best of first days, I’ll admit.”

“No. But I’m of the opinion that some worlds should never collide. Plus, how are you ever gonna take me seriously...” Pacey replied and interrupted himself as he watched Joey struggling with the cash box and the attempt to carry a few bottles. “I got it...” he grabbed the bottles and nodded, “... now that you know the guys call me witless?”

Smiling a ‘thank you’, Joey started to walk into the back room, all the while talking over her shoulder. “You know, I called you worse things than that... and, well... my whole jealousy act really didn’t showcase my best features.”

“Actually, you know... I kinda liked that part,” Pacey admitted and followed her.

Turning her head, Joey stuck her tongue out. “You were just hoping she and I would wrestle.”

“What kind of man do you take me for?” Pacey stopped short in his tracks and stared at her in disbelief. “You’re confusing me with Rich here. ... And I really meant that, it’s nice... in a strange way... you being jealous, I mean.”

Joey placed the cash box on the high table behind her and opened the glass door of the huge refrigerator. “Really?” she blushed again, still ashamed of her behavior, or rather of the fact that he liked it.

“Yeah, you showing your claws to defend what’s yours...” his voice trailed off.

Joey smiled and her eyes told him that she understood. Clearing her throat she aimed for a more shallow stretch of water, “I guess I’m just not used to office combat. I’m more of a drunk wrangler.”

“That’s good news, actually... because I wanted to tell you not to quit your night job.” Pacey handed her the bottles and watched her carefully as she sorted and put them away.

“What do you mean?” Joey faced him, trying to read his expression.

“Well, I mean that under no circumstances do I ever want to see you in my place of work again... regardless of how hot you look in pinstripes,” Pacey’s voice cracked.

Furiously shutting the door, Joey narrowed her eyes on him. “You’re firing me?” She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her.

“Y...yeah, but I mean... c...can you think of any better solution?” Pacey blinked nervously. Throughout the dinner he had thought about their day and everything that had happened. The difficult thing now was, to make her understand just why it was impossible to work together and judging from her expression, this wouldn’t be an easy task.

“Is this because of the whole coffee thing, Pacey?” Joey asked warily. One moment he told her he liked what she had done and in the next he was firing her? “Because I can make coffee. And I can serve it and everything. I’m nothing if not a professional server.” She gesticulated wildly, not understanding why.

“It’s not about the coffee thing. Okay?” Pacey smiled helplessly and sighed. No, this wasn’t easy at all.

“Then what’s it about? Because I’m not quite with you here.” Joey raised her brows and waited for an explanation.

“Jo, how can you expect me to concentrate if you’re around all day?” Somehow his explanation sounded extremely stupid when spoken aloud.

“Am I really that much of a distraction, Pacey? I mean, my desk is outside of your office. You can’t even see me.” Still frowning she set her arms akimbo. Despite the scene with Sadia she had really enjoyed being around Pacey all day long.

Pacey shook his head slightly, hating to see the tiny hint of hurt in her eyes. “But I know you’re there, Jo. And I wouldn’t have come as far as I have if you were five feet away from me all the time. I just wouldn’t. Trust me,” he pleaded, emphasizing his declarations by pointing his index finger at her.

“Really? And why is that?” Joey crossed her arms, studying him curiously with a knowing glint in her eyes.

Both looked deeply into each others eyes, communicating everything they couldn’t verbalize. Finally, a genuine smile spread between them.

“Okay, now you’re just milking this for all it’s worth, aren’t you? ... Fine.” Sighing Pacey gave up. He knew that she wouldn’t stop bugging him until he put it all out into the open. “I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate because every time you’re five feet away from me, or twenty-five feet away, for that matter... there’s really only one thing that I want to do,” he whispered, wetting his lips as they moved in to close the gap between them.

“Do tell.” Joey mimicked his actions and slowly lost herself in his darkening eyes.

Pulling her flush to his body, Pacey held her by her hip, while his other hand buried itself into her hair and kissed her passionately. Joey returned the kiss with just as much passion, bringing her hands up to his neck and running her hands through his thick hair.

Pacey was the first to pull away, but his lips still brushed against hers as he whispered, “I want to kiss you... and then... I want to do what we did this afternoon... hence you’re an enormous distraction, Jo.” Smiling widely he stepped back to look at her.

Trying to suppress her own smile, Joey pressed her lips together and nodded thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, Mr. Witter. I don’t think I can work for you anymore.” Shrugging apologetically she turned and walked back to the bar.

Pacey watched her for a second before biting the inside of his cheek and finally followed her. “Fine. Just remember that I fired you.”

“No, no. I quit,” Joey insisted and busied herself with cleaning tables and collecting empty beer bottles on a big tray. “You have to let me keep my dignity.” Deep down she knew that Pacey was right, but of course her stubbornness forced her to keep him in suspense for as long as possible.

“Okay, but... if I fire you, then you get severance pay.” Pacey pushed his hands into his pockets and followed her from table to table. Two could play that game.

“Oh.” Joey stopped and looked at Pacey, considering his last statement. “Well, just remember, you’ll never find another girl like me.”

“I prefer to think of my secretaries as women, but okay.” Pacey chuckled.

“Well, enough of that. I think we can both agree that this wasn’t the best idea.” Joey exhaled and put the tray down on the long bar table.

“No doubt.” Pacey stepped behind her, trapping her between the table and his body and put his hands on either side of her on the wooden surface. “My current thinking is that we can both agree that this wasn’t the best idea.”

“Pity that.” Joey leaned back against him, loving the feeling of security and love his mere presence created within her. “I was just looking forward to seeing you on a regular basis,” her voice dropped, clearly expressing her disappointment.

“We’ll just have to make a point to make more time, then, won’t we?” Pacey rested his chin on her shoulder and chuckled. “You almost done here?” he asked, kissing the sensitive spot below her earlobe.

“I just have to close up the register,” she smiled and shivered slightly.

Pacey nuzzled her neck and moved his right hand to her hip. He would make sure that they spent as much time as possible with each other, daily, nightly... and he would start right away. “Well... that’s excellent, ‘cause, you know, I was thinking... I just happen to live right across the street.”

Not missing one beat of his words, Joey turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I was thinking that, too.” She licked her lips and rocked her hips against his.

“Really. What a coincidence.” Pacey tightened his arms around her waist and smiled.

“You know, you could always help me here, like cleaning up the tables, putting the chairs up... while I take care of the register?” Joey suggested hopefully. “Would be even faster if we did it together... and we’d be home much sooner.”

Home. Pacey let the world swirl around his mind for a while. Home. This sounded nice, fantastic actually.

“I love the way you think, Potter.” Pacey kissed the tip of nose, not trusting himself with really kissing her and fearing that they would end up spending the night at the bar. “Get going then, I’ve got it here.” Playfully clapping her ass as he shoved her in the direction of the back room, he grinned as he received a deadly glare which softened as soon as it had appeared. He watched her for a moment before he shed his jacket and placed it on one of the bar stools, ready to clean the room in record time.

  


~*~

  


“Pace?” Joey called slightly annoyed as she reappeared only seconds later at the bar.

“M-hmm...” Pacey looked up, contemplating if he had done anything, but she pointed to the cash box.

“I have absolutely no idea what Steve did with this thing. I can’t open it...” Joey explained clearly frustrated.

Dropping the cleaning cloth Pacey walked over to her and glanced at the box. From the outside it seemed to be okay, no signs of dents or anything that would indicate a broken lock. “Let me see. The key isn’t broken off, is it?”

“No.” Joey handed him the box and the completely intact key.

“Maybe something got stuck underneath the lid. See, you can turn the key, but it doesn’t open.” Pacey examined the unruly box carefully and finally shook it forcefully. Trying the lock again, the lid sprung open and he smiled triumphantly at her. “Who’s the man?”

“I guess we have another problem then, if you need me to answer that question.” Joey stated teasingly and stuck her tongue out.

“You wound me, Josephine.” Dramatically clutching his heart, Pacey leaned against the bar as if he needed the support and sighed. “There I am, your savior who won the battle against the mean and most indomitable, steely sentry of the treasure... and what do I get?”

“Aww, poor baby.” Joey bent forward and cradled his face with her hand. “Thank you,” she whispered and planted a big kiss on his mouth before stepping back again. “Better?”

“Yeah, well... that’s a start.” Pacey grinned and raised his brows suggestively.

“If you want more, then you know what to do: clean the tables.” Joey laughed and started to return to the backroom as a well known voice from the door startled her.

“Hey.” Eddie let the door fall shut behind him and stepped further into the bar.

He had seen that the lights were still on and decided to try his luck. He knew that if the shifts hadn’t changed a lot, Joey would be there. He spotted her immediately. One of her friends was there as well, but he didn’t really care. He was just happy to see her again. Happy and excited and a little nervous about how she would react to him.

“Eddie.” Joey stared at him and swallowed hard. She had never expected him to show up like that, so soon or ever again, for that matter. To tell the truth she hadn’t even thought about him for a long time.

“Hi.” Pushing his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket, Eddie moved forward. Joey’s reaction wasn’t quite how he hoped it would be. She seemed rooted to the spot where she was standing and her face didn’t show the happiness he prayed to find there. Suddenly he became aware of the other person in the room. One of her friends, one of her ghosts of the past actually. He didn’t remember his name, but somehow he felt threatened by his presence.

From the moment Eddie had come through the door, Pacey felt as if somebody had punched him in the gut. Hot and cold sensations were running through his body and his hands started to sweat although they felt more like ice than anything.

All the jealousy he felt over the day was nothing compared to what he felt now. Jealousy wasn’t even the correct word. Fear would be more appropriate. He knew that Joey did have deep feelings for Eddie... before he had left her. Now that he was back, he was probably the one thing that could tear them apart again. Anxiously he let his eyes wander to Joey’s face, afraid of what he would find there. He found it hard to breathe and his heart was racing. Her blank expression calmed him just a little bit. At least she wasn’t jumping with joy.

For what seemed like endless moments nobody said anything. Three pairs of eyes stared at the others, helpless and insecure. The awkwardness and tension was palpable. Joey knew that it was her who needed to take the first step in clearing the situation for once and for all.

“Eddie... what the hell are you doing here?” she asked as neutral as possible.

“Right. Umm...so... could we do this... in private, please?” Eddie looked pointedly at Pacey.

“I don’t know if that’s necess...” Joey frowned. She knew that she needed to talk to Eddie, maybe she even owed it to him but she was in no way prepared for this conversation.

Pacey sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly. Of course he could understand Eddie’s request, he’d probably do the same if he was walking in his shoes. And maybe it was really better to end with a short, sharp shock than to prolong the agony. The only question was, who would have to endure the agony.

“No, it’s okay, Jo. I’ll leave you two alone to... sort things out,” he interrupted her and reached for his jacket.

Joey opened her mouth and closed it again. This was so typical for Pacey. He was never the one to give her ultimatums or to demand anything from her. He always let her make her own decisions and gave her all the time she needed. Nevertheless she could see the faint fear and pain in his eyes as the briefly met her own. She watched him put on his jacket, watched as he turned towards the door and then she knew.

“Pace.” Quickly stepping forward she reached for his hand and held on to it, just like she had done back at aunt Gwen’s.

Surprised Pacey whirled around, remembering the first time she had reached for him like that. Joey was smiling as she closed the gap between them and right then he dared to hope.

“Thank you,” Joey whispered and placed her palm against his cheek. “I’ll be home soon.” Scattering the last doubts he might have had, she raised her head and kissed him.

Finally Pacey was able to breathe again. “I’ll be there.” He took her hand and kissed the pulse point on her wrist before he walked towards the door, leaving her with Eddie but knowing he’d be the one she would come home to.

  


~*~

  


Eddie uncomfortably watched the tender exchange between Joey and Pacey. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when he returned to Boston. Maybe it had been presumptuous to think that Joey would have waited for him, but it still hurt to see her kissing somebody else, when he still relished in the memory of her lips against his. Knowing that it wasn’t just anybody she was with, but her ex, was even harder.

“I guess I came back too late, huh?” It was more a statement than a question and Eddie couldn’t meet Joey’s eyes as he mumbled. Instead he stared at the door, through which Pacey had left the bar only seconds ago.

“Eddie...” Joey sighed and heaved herself on the closest bar stool. She could only imagine how he had to be feeling after witnessing her and Pacey and she felt sorry for him. Hearts were so fragile and could be broken so easily. She knew that and she knew that nothing she could say to him now would ease the pain, at least not anytime soon. “Why are you here?”

“Right now I’m not so sure myself.” Eddie glanced at her sadly and hopped on the stool next to hers. He fell quiet and played with a coaster that lay on the bar.

Joey waited a few moments before she decided she had to be proactive again. “What happened to California?” she asked softly.

Eddie chuckled slightly and looked up. “Well, it’s still there. You know, I just kinda left for a while.”

“And what happened to school?” Joey frowned but kept her voice light. At least Eddie was talking to her now.

“Again, still there. Still standing without me and everything. It’s hard to believe, I know.” Eddie sighed and propped one arm on the bar, feeling the need to support his head. He noticed Joey’s frown and couldn’t help but feel a little better by seeing that she apparently still cared about him somehow. “Look, I start in the fall. Everything worked out, Jo. Everything, Jo,” he repeated proudly.

Joey smiled and nodded, encouraging him to continue talking. Eddie returned her smile and his tired eyes seemed to sparkle ever so slightly.

“You know, I had this interview, right? And I didn’t stutter or stumble or throw up anything... and they loved my writing, which is just totally... like surreal, right?” Eddie shrugged and his smile grew wider as he recalled what happened. “Because, well... no one has ever loved anything I’ve done. Except for you.” Sighing, he lowered his voice and the happy tone was gone. “That’s why I’m here, Jo. I wanted to say thank you... because you knew I could do it, and I had no idea.”

“Maybe you just needed a little encouragement to start believing in yourself. I know that it’s not easy, I’ve been there, too... and I’m happy that everything worked out for you so well.” Joey tried to express how proud she was of him without getting his hopes up, because she knew there had to be another reason why he came back.

“Do you know that you have incredible eyes, Jo? And the... sexiest voice... and a smile that breaks my heart?” Eddie whispered and reached out to run his hand through her hair.

“Eddie...” Joey shook her head and leaned back to put more space between them.

“Right... I’m sorry.” His hand froze in midair before he let it sink back down. “I need you, Jo. I need you around me to be a writer, to be able to write...”

“No, Eddie... that’s not true. You were a writer before you even met me...”

“Yeah, I did write before I met you... but it wasn’t any good,” he interrupted her, trying to make her understand.

“No. Maybe I helped you to see your potential, to realize that there are more possibilities out there then you thought, but...”

“I love you, Joey,” Eddie whispered determinedly and tried to take her hand into his.

“I’m sorry, Eddie.” Joey crossed her arms in front of her chest and bit on her lower lip. She didn’t want to accuse him, but she needed to explain him, that it was over. “You walked away, Eddie.”

“I came back,” he muttered defiantly and straightened on his stool.

“I moved on.”

“Really? Seems to me more like... moving back.” Eddie’s voice was laced with pain and anger. How could she sit there and tell him she moved on, when she was back with her ex? Other questions ran through his mind, questions like if she ever loved him, if she ever saw more in him than somebody to spend her time with.

“I know that you are... sad and disappointed... or even mad at me, but that’s not fair, Eddie. You walked away from me, from us. I don’t blame you, I mean... I can understand why you did...”

“Great, Joey... do you understand, that I did this... for us? That I wanted to... get my act together, to finally do something with my life before I could... share it with you?” Eddie stood up and paced back and forth while running his hand through his hair. “I’m gone for a few weeks... and you’re back with your ex? The same one who left you... years ago?” Slowly he remembered the details of the Christmas dinner in Capeside, the things Joey’s roommate had said. Things he had ignored back then, only to have them laughing in his face now.

Joey pursed her lips and stared at her feet. Maybe she deserved this. “I’m sorry, but you really don’t know what happened between Pacey and me back then... or what’s going on between us now. I’m not even sure who’s responsible for what happened while we were together in high school. We both made mistakes, but I don’t have to give you an account for that. And yes... he left me. But it was different. You left and we said goodbye, Eddie,” she explained calmly.

Eddie stopped his movement and stared at her, realization dawning in his eyes. “You never said goodbye to him, did you?”

Joey raised her hand and started to play with her necklace as she mused over what Eddie had just said. He was right. They had never said goodbye to each other. “No, we didn’t.”

“You never... stopped loving him, right?” Eddie sighed and sat down again. “Did you ever... love me?”

Joey glanced at him and smiled softly. “I did, I loved you, Eddie... just...”

“Just not...like you love him,” Eddie completed her sentence and watched her nod again.

His heart broke right then and there, but he couldn’t hate her. “If I hadn’t left... would we...” He knew it was wrong, but he just had to ask.

“I... can’t give you an answer to that question. I don’t know what would have been...” Joey raised her shoulders and sighed.

“Well, I guess that’s the perfect answer. If I had asked you then, if you still loved him... even if only somewhere deep in your heart, you would’ve said yes, right?”

“Yeah...” Joey nodded again.

“See... maybe we would’ve lasted a while longer... but in the end... we weren’t meant to be.” Eddie paused. Even though it still hurt, he knew now that it was better this way.

“You know, you’re a lot like him, Eddie... I know, that’s not really what you want to hear, but I mean it in a very positive sense. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with you... not that you were a substitute for him...” Joey stuttered a little, “... but you’re a great man, Eddie... and I know that somewhere out there, there’s your someone who’s waiting for you and I know that you’ll make her very happy.”

“I hope so... maybe someone who’s a lot like you... only with a little twist?” Eddie smiled.

“Maybe.” Joey returned his smile. The awkwardness was slowly drifting away and it felt good.

“Pacey is a very lucky man,” Eddie said honestly.

“I’m the one who’s lucky.”

“Okay, if you say so... you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this... happy and content before.” It was true. Her eyes were sparkling and despite her attempt to make things easier for him, he could see the love shining through everything she said.

“I don’t know... but I guess for the first time I feel like... yeah, like I’m home.” Joey blushed. It was strange that she needed this conversation with Eddie to realize this, but on the other hand... this was just the way life loved to surprise her.

“If that’s how you feel, then... okay, I understand. I do.” Eddie could only hope that he would feel the same one day. “I guess I’ll be seeing you, Joey.”

“I’ll be the first to buy your first published book... and each of the following.” Joey’s smile widened.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Eddie stood up and hesitated briefly. “Bye, Joey.”

“Goodbye, Eddie.” Joey hopped off of her stool and hugged him briefly before he pulled back and turned around, leaving Hell’s Kitchen without looking back.

Joey took a deep breath and leaned against the bar. Saying goodbye to someone was never easy, especially not to someone who was so close to her heart. After a few minutes she exhaled and pushed herself from the bar and finally started to close the register, just like she had closed another chapter in the book of her life, moments before.

  


~*~

  


Pacey sat on his couch and zapped listlessly through the many programs their cable subscription had to offer. Of course, nothing could take his mind off of Joey and...consequently, of Eddie.

He knew that he had nothing to fear, at least he knew that since Joey had kissed him, right before Eddie’s eyes, telling him that she would be home soon. Still he knew how hard and difficult break-ups were, even when the real break-up, the one you did on your very own, when you realized that the feelings you had or thought to have for a person were gone, happened some time ago. Telling the other it was over was, plain and simply, horrible.

The minutes passed by, turned into half an hour and he couldn’t sit still anymore. Walking to his kitchen window, he stared down at Hell's Kitchen, just like he had done before. It wasn’t the fact that he wanted to control what was happening down there, he just wanted to feel closer to her, wanted to send her his psychic support if she should need it.

Another ten minutes went by before he saw the door opening. Eddie was leaving the bar quickly, his shoulders raised, his head hung low and he never turned around. Somewhere in the back of his mind Pacey couldn’t help but imagine that it could have been him, walking away from the woman he loved. Just the thought took his breath away and he had to close his eyes.

His throat felt like it was completely dried up. Stretching his tired limbs, Pacey walked over to the fridge and rummaged around, trying to find something to drink, but nothing appeared desirable to him and so he settled for simple water.

Pouring the cool liquid into a glass it almost slipped from his hand as he heard a knock on his door. Cursing under his breath, he set the glass down on the island and rushed to the door, knowing that it could only be Joey.

Joey felt unbelievably tired and exhausted. The stairs up to Pacey’s apartment seemed to have multiplied since the last time she'd climbed them and she was out of breath as she finally arrived at his door.

Pacey flung the door open and pulled Joey into his arms as if he hadn’t seen her in ages. Joey’s arms immediately went around his neck, as she relaxed into his warmth and hugged him just as close to her. Pulling back a few inches she raised her head and brushed her lips over his. “I’m sorry it took so long...”

“It’s okay.” Pacey smoothed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, before kicking the door closed. Not wanting to lose their close contact, he lifted her up and walked over to the couch, where they settled in a comfortable silence.

“Are you okay?” he whispered against her temple while softly rubbing her arm.

“Now... I am. You know, it wasn’t easy... but it went surprisingly good.” Joey laced her fingers with Pacey’s and raised them to her lips.

“He... loves you and that’s why he accepts whatever makes you happy.” Pacey knew that he would have gone like that, too.

“M-hmm.” Joey kissed his fingertips and snuggled against his chest. “Thank you for... you know... leaving us alone to talk. I’m sorry... I had no idea he was coming back.”

“I know and... no problem. I guess both of you needed this kind of... closure.” Pacey tightened his arm around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. “We never... I mean... I never gave us the possibility to... end things... to talk like that, when I left after high school.”

“No, but I’m glad we didn’t have that conversation. Maybe it would have been easier... but I don’t want easy... and I... never want to say goodbye to you.” Joey sat up and gazed into his eyes.

Pacey was surprised by her explanation. She never ceased to amaze him. “I don’t want that either.”

Both smiled and Joey ran her thumb softly over his lips. “I’m home, Pace.”

 


	4. Dubious Dances

## Chapter 4 ~ Dubious Dances

 

Joey sat on her bed, resting against the wall behind her and tried to read a book, another assignment from Professor Hetson. Again the odds of finishing it in time were not on her side.

Frowning with annoyance, she looked up and stared at Harley who examined Joey’s wardrobe and didn’t shy away from muttering complaints about Joey’s absence of good taste.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Joey placed the open book next to her and crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest.

“What am I doing? The better question should be, what were you thinking when buying this...crap,” Harley scoffed and turned around, holding one of Joey’s dresses in her hand.

“I never knew you became a discriminating fashionista at the age of what... ten?” Joey rolled her eyes and stared at the nerving teenager. She happened to like the dress that was the current cause of Harley’s disapproval, a lot. It was an older one admittedly, but she bought it back in her senior year and Pacey helped her pick it out. “It looks much better on.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.” Harley shook her head almost disgustedly and put the offending item back in the closet.

“Why are you even here, huh? I think I’m quite capable of choosing something to wear all on my own.” Joey blew some air out, swinging her legs from the bed. “Thanks to your father I’ve got a lot of work, so why don’t you just go now and give me the opportunity to actually finish my assignment?”

“If you’re gonna be chaperoning my semi formal, I need you to wear something that’s moderately hip so I don’t look like a freak associating with you,” Harley explained with a serious expression on her face.

Raising her brows Joey stared at the teenager, barely able to keep herself from laughing out loud. It was too funny to watch Harley’s efforts, well... it would have been if she didn’t need to work, that is.

Harley had returned to her task of finding a suitable dress for Joey and sighed in anguish. “Is it really too much to ask for a decent yet fashionable dress? Jeez....” scrunching her nose and scoffing Harley faced Joey once again. “What am I saying? I’d never find anything like that in your closet.”

“Did I actually agree to this?” Joey asked more herself than Harley, who still managed to overhear her quiet mutter.

“Well, that wasn’t my idea...” Harley stressed each syllable and flopped down on Joey’s bed.

They looked at each other, finally agreeing on something. Professor Hetson had way too many issues with his daughter growing up.

“Okay...” Joey put the cap on her highlighter and used it as a bookmark by pushing it between the pages she had read at least five times since Harley stormed in. “Somehow I can’t get rid of the feeling that there’s something else besides my lack of corresponding dresses. What is it?” Joey studied Harley’s face as she lowered her gaze.

“Nothing, well... no, it’s, aargh...” Harley threw her hands up in frustration. “This is my junior prom, this should be my night... and even before it’s started, it’s all messed up. First my dad decided I needed an escort, then he orders you to do it, and then there’s my fair-weather, jack-of-no-trades boyfriend, who is going to be very happy about that, because he has some sort of unholy attraction to you... and the rest of the boys at my school will leer at you as well, just because you’re older and more experienced...”

Joey nodded and smiled softly. She knew exactly what Harley was feeling in this situation. Not too long ago she had been scared of a prom herself only to see her worst fears come true in the end, not that she ever envisioned an end like that. And she knew all too good how teenage boys were ticking, how they would drool at any female who crossed their path. And yes, she knew most definitely about all the insecurities that were harbored deep inside a sixteen year old girl.

“I know you don’t like your father’s ideas and I do think he’s acting a little paranoid... but that’s what fathers are like. He loves you and... as hard as it is to imagine this...” Joey frowned at the mere thought, but continued to talk nevertheless, “... he knows what sixteen year old boys think about and he looks out for his girl. Which makes him... more human than I ever thought possible.” Joey’s frown became deeper. Hetson... human? Caring even? Something was wrong with that picture.

Harley sighed, pondering Joey’s words. Maybe she was right and if she wasn’t as disgruntled as she was at this moment, just maybe she would’ve been happy about the fact that her father actually cared for her.

Joey watched Harley fighting with her feelings, while her mind went back to her own junior prom. Why was it that each prom she had ever attended or would attend in the future for that matter, turned into a disaster waiting to happen?

“And as for Patrick: Look, boys at this age want to test their limits, they want to see how far they can go. It’s not important, they’re just playing around... you might say it’s a hormonally induced rapture and as soon forgotten as the object of their fleeting affection turns the corner.”

“Whatever... he won’t notice me either way,” Harley inhaled deeply, trying to hide the angry tears that were brimming in her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll notice you. Despite his stupid, immature behavior... he really likes you. And I swear to keep my Mrs. Robinson claws off your boyfriend, okay?” Joey smiled and nudged Harley arm softly.

“Yeah... okay. Now, which of your questionable dresses to choose to cover your wiles?” Harley jumped up and returned to Joey’s closet.

Rolling her eyes, Joey joined her and rummaged through her clothes until she found what she was looking for. “Here, does this meet your discriminating gusto by any chance?”

“Hmmm....” Harley tilted her head and surveyed the subdued spaghetti strap dress Joey was presenting her. “...now we’re talking.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Pacey pinched the bridge of his nose before checking his watch. The last meeting had ended a few minutes ago and he had about half an hour left before the next would start. Everybody had filed out of the conference room as soon as they could which left him alone in the room. He closed the folder in front of him and reached for his coffee cup. Detecting that it was empty he frowned disappointedly. Glancing at the watch once again he hit some buttons on his cell phone that was securely attached to his belt. While he waited for the signal tone, Pacey adjusted his headset and stood up, stretching his tired limbs. Sitting for most of the day was still something he wasn’t used to.

Harley had finally left and Joey sat at her desk, reading and taking notes for Hetson’s class as her cell phone started to beep. Slightly annoyed by yet another disturbance she reached for it and looked at the display. The number it was showing turned her frown into a smile.

“Hey, Pace.” This was a disturbance she could definitely live with.

“How’s the studying going, Potter?” Pacey asked, imagining her huddled at her desk and deeply absorbed in one of her many books.

“Ugh... what studying? Since you dropped me off at the dorm I didn’t have five undisturbed minutes in a row,” Joey replied with a hint of frustration.

“See, I told you to stay at the apartment. Nobody’s home there during the day and...”

“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t have all books and besides that... I totally forgot that I promised Harley to do her a favor... or rather to do her father a favor.” Joey played with a wisp of her hair and stared out of the window.

“Okay, what exactly does Rosemary’s baby want?” Pacey grinned and placed several folders into his briefcase.

“She and her father want me to chaperon her junior prom at Milton... tonight. Sorry, I know we did have other plans, but... seeing that Hetson asked me to...”

“Ah, don’t worry, Jo. Besides... wouldn’t that involve you being in a dress?” Pacey grinned. He just loved her in a flimsy and soft dress... well, he loved her, full stop.

“Yeah... even though it was rather difficult to satisfy Harley’s ideas of that.” Joey shifted on her chair and cradled the phone between her cheek and shoulder.

“And does that include wearing heels?” Pacey closed his briefcase with a snap and propped his hands on the sturdy black leather. His grin had grown wider while his mind came up with one or two... or more ideas.

“Possibly.” Joey smiled, unconsciously letting her tongue peek out.

“Well, well... consider my arm twisted then. I’ll be there,” Pacey declared with a mischievous undertone.

Joey worried her lower lip with her teeth, thinking about what Pacey had just said. Not that she didn’t want him to go with her, but she didn’t want to ruin his night, by dragging him to a boring high school party.

“What? I mean... really?” she asked surprised as her whole face was lit with a bright smile. “It’s... it’s a Friday night. Are you sure?” Joey bit down on her lip anxiously, still seeking confirmation that Pacey actually wanted to join her.

“Sure as rain.” Pacey smirked, fully knowing the thoughts that were running through Joey’s mind at that moment.

“Great... meet me here at six p.m.?” she suggested with sparkling eyes.

“I’ll see you there. Shoes shined and suit pressed,” Pacey confirmed.

“Pacey?... Thank you and...now I’m looking forward to the dance.” Joey’s voice softened.

“You’re more than welcome and I’m looking forward to it, too.” Pacey ran his finger up and down the wire of his headset. In a way it felt like he got a second chance on experiencing a prom with Joey the way it was meant to be. None of the two proms they had attended did go like he’d wanted them to. Third time is a charm, right?

“Love you,” Joey whispered affectionately.

“Love you, Jo.” Third time was definitely a charm.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Pacey flipped his cell phone shut and grabbed his briefcase. He was about to leave the conference room, when his new secretary, Becky, stuck her head in, smiling that she had found him.

“Mr. Witter? You have a visitor waiting in your office,” Becky announced.

“A visitor? I thought there were no other appointments before the meeting?” Pacey frowned and walked towards her.

“No, he doesn’t have an appointment. He said he was an old acquaintance and that it wouldn’t take long. So I thought.... but if you’re too busy, then I’ll just tell him you already left for the meeting.” Becky explained hastily.

“Umm, no, no... it’s okay. I have a few minutes to spare. No problem.” Pacey sighed and motioned for Becky to go back to her desk. He had absolutely no idea who this ‘old acquaintance might be.”

Walking into his office he couldn’t see anyone in there at first, but when he turned his head to the side, he spied a certain fair-haired guy.

Now this was a surprise he hadn’t counted on.... ever. Slowly he closed the door behind him, stepped forward to his desk and carefully placed the briefcase on it before he turned around. He didn’t know what to think of it, or what to say.

Dawson sat on the couch, right in the middle, arms stretched and resting on the backrest, legs crossed and stared at Pacey. He liked to see him so confused, even though he hid it pretty well, that much he had to admit. Maybe that was the reason for his obvious success in the stock brockerage world. He was an actor, yes... Pacey Witter was an actor.

“Pacey Witter,” Dawson sing-songed, repositioning his arms by crossing them in front of his chest.

“Dawson Leery,” Pacey replied dryly, but didn’t want to give in to Dawson’s provocation. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, well... nice office that you have, here.” Dawson glanced around until his eyes finally lingered on Pacey’s face. His facial expressions revealed nothing of his intention.

“Yes it is. But I don’t think you came here for some dumb small talk, so let’s cut this crap and get to the point. Besides I need to leave in a few minutes.” Pacey moved around his desk and sat down in his chair.

“Hard headed businessmen now, are we?” Dawson’s lips morphed into a thin and arrogant grin. His gaze was fixed on Pacey, observing each and every expression of him, but to his great disappointment he couldn’t find any hint of anger, rage or even impatience. The old Pacey he used to know, would have been jumping at him already, but now he was just sitting there, with a blank, professional expression, which only served to fuel his own discontent.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Welcome to the dream machine a.k.a. the stock broker’s world. Can’t you smell the money growing?” Pacey leaned further back in his chair. He didn’t think it would be possible, but Dawson’s presence didn’t affect him as much as he had thought it would.

“Oh well, if it smells like Drakar Noir, then yeah... big time.” Dawson wrinkled his nose and sniffed.

“As they say, time is money. So unless you plan on getting to the point of your stop-over here, I’m afraid I can’t waste any more.” Pacey smiled. Joey had given him a bottle of Drakar Noir a few days ago, after she had caught him staring at it in K-Mart. No, Dawson’s presence didn’t affect him at all. He knew he had no reason to feel threatened.

Dawson raised his brows and sighed inwardly. It seemed he had to accept the fact that he couldn’t get a rise out of Pacey.

“Well, well... then let’s talk business.” Dawson stood up and walked over to Pacey’s desk, slamming down a piece of paper and occupying the visitor’s chair in front of the table.

Pacey turned in his swivel chair and looked at the check. “What’s this?”

“This is all the money I saved while working for Todd. I need you to make it grow... fast,” Dawson explained coolly.

“Excuse me?” Pacey frowned and looked up. Not only did Dawson surprise him with showing up, no he also had the audacity to ask him to invest his money? Talk about a bombshell.

“Transform that into a respectable amount for an indie film. Coming of age story. No special effects, although I want at least one slamming A-list actor who is looking for some industry credit. This your job, isn’t it?” Dawson smiled meaningfully and whistled. “That’s what you do for a living, right? Investing money for other people. I thought this would be easy enough for you.”

“Technically it is,” Pacey folded his hands together and propped his chin on them. “Morally speaking it isn’t.”

“Morals? Oh please, what morals?” Dawson shook his head and laughed. “I don’t remember you being particularly attached to moral issues in the past.”

Pacey clenched his teeth, knowing perfectly well what Dawson was talking about, but he still refused to get riled up because of it.

“Well, you know the saying ‘Pitch the bitch’? I haven’t exactly hammered out my mixing friends and business policy yet.”

“I don’t think you need to, because... who’s talking about mixing friends and business?” Dawson leaned forward and rested his hands on Pacey’s desk, the invitation to give him a retort obvious.

“Very well. Even as non-friends and considering some awkward sentiments to the past, I’m not sure we’re ready for the part that includes ‘I’m broke and it’s all your fault.’ So I don’t think this would be a very good idea.” Pacey leaned back to put more space between them.

“Hmm... can you afford to turn down investment money, Pacey?” Dawson asked snidely. “And I think we’ve been there before, actually... I wouldn’t need to invest money if I weren’t that close to being broke, because I gave my money to Joey. A pretty bad investment by the way.”

Pacey narrowed his eyes on Dawson. It wasn’t possible that he understood him correctly, or was it?

“Yeah, you forgot about that, huh? From the way I see it, you practically owe me.” Dawson was pleased. Finally he saw some emotion in Pacey’s eyes. “I’m not worried there, I bet you’ll do everything to get my money back and more of it.”

“I see. Maybe you should consider investing money with a neutral broker, we wouldn’t want to risk any animosities, would we.” It was hard, but Pacey succeeded in keeping his voice professionally calm, although he was boiling with anger deep inside.

“Nah, I kind of like this personal touch...” Dawson grinned.

“Alright then.” Pacey reached for an empty folder. If Dawson wanted to play this game, why not. He could live with that. He would just treat him like any ordinary client, a name with money to invest. Nothing more, nothing less. He had warned him and he would act in the best interest of the firm. “Any special requests as to which stock you’d like to buy?”

“No. Do what it takes to make the money grow as fast as possible.” The former satisfaction he had felt briefly vanished.

“I see. So you’re giving me a free hand?” Pacey took some notes and looked up.

“Absolutely.”

“You do know, that the stock business is fickle and changes quickly?” Pacey asked for a final confirmation.

“Yes.”

“Fine. I’ll have my secretary draft a standard client contract. It will only take a few minutes and after you’ve signed it, we’ll start on making your money grow.” Pacey stood up and straightened. “Unfortunately I need to go. You want some coffee while you wait?”

“No, I’m good.” Dawson eyed Pacey carefully. Again, he had refused to act accordingly to his script. But now there was no way out of it.

“Good. Have a nice day.” Pacey nodded and left his office, leaving a dumbfounded Dawson behind.

Thank God it was Friday.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Joey put her earrings on and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Although it wasn’t her own prom, she was nervous as hell.

The persistent beeping of her cell phone pulled her out of her reverie and forced her to hurry back into her room. A quick look at the display told her that Jen was at the other end. Somehow she had expected that.

“Hi Jen, how are you?” she asked and tugged at her dress.

“Hi, Joey. Okay, I guess. What’s that bright tone in your voice for?” Jen asked suspiciously.

“Huh?” Joey frowned.

“Oh please, don’t play dumb, sweetie. You know what I’m talking about, that annoyingly happy and chirpy bounce, accentuated with a tad bit of nervousness.” Jen could be very observant when she wanted to, too observant sometimes.

“I didn’t even say six words to you. How can you...” Joey asked perplexed.

“How long have we known each other?” Jen giggled.

“Yeah, right. Good point.” Joey sighed and sat down on her bed. Sometimes it was really irritating to spend all your life with the same people, who knew everything about you.

“And?” Jen prodded again.

“I’m chaperoning Harley’s junior prom tonight.”

“And? You wouldn’t be that happy if this were the only reason.”

Joey sighed again. No, there was really no way to escape the inquisitive mind of Jen Lindley. “No, Pacey’s coming with me.”

“Awww, see... that explains everything. Revisiting the past and making it better, huh?” Jen smiled. Knowing Joey and Pacey, especially Pacey in this sense, she was very sure the night would be nothing but very romantic.

“Uhhh... I could go without revisiting past proms.” Joey frowned, trying to erase all those bad memories that surfaced, triggered by Jen’s words and to be honest, they had found their way up to her consciousness all day long. Maybe that was the reason why she felt so nervous. She knew that this night would be different, but still the black cloud of bad experiences was hanging over her head. Once bitten, twice shy.

“Yeah, I know. But you two are older now and none of you will make the same mistakes again. You’re sure about your feelings and your relationship, aren’t you?” Jen’s tone turned serious.

“Yes, I’m sure. You know that, why...?” Joey was confused by Jen’s obvious change of mood. Something told her she wasn’t talking about her and Pacey anymore.

“I know, sorry.” Now it was Jen’s turn to sigh.

“Okay, what is bothering you, Jen? I mean, you didn’t call me to ask me about my plans for today, did you?”

“No... well, not only because of that.... I don’t know, but Grams is acting... strange, somehow” Jen ran a hand through her hair, not knowing what to think of her grandmother.

“Why? What happened?” Joey became concerned as she listened to her friend.

“I’m not sure. First she broke off with CJ’s uncle, for which CJ blames me somehow, or rather the Lindley/Ryan genes. And when I talked with her, she acted like a fickle teenager and left the kitchen as if she was offended by what I said... and I only asked why she had to break Uncle Bill’s heart.”

“Hmm... are you sure? Because my dear friend, you can be a little upfront sometimes.” Joey stepped forward and ran her hand over Pacey’s picture on her pinboard. She had taken it on board of True Love and it had always been one of her favorite pictures of him. Although he looked at her, his gaze went farther and out to the sea. His eyes held this sparkle he always had when he was on the water and they mirrored the deep blue of the sea perfectly. A small, happy sigh escaped her mouth.

“What are you doing, Joey? I don’t feel the love here, you’re not concentrating on the problem at hand, which is me, goddamnit,” Jen complained frustrated, drumming her fingertips against her desk.

“Huh?” Joey heard Jen’s voice as if through a thick and deafening fog.

“Remember, me calling you because Grams is breaking hearts just when I’m embarking on a somewhat functioning, possibly even fully committed relationship and I need some well funded Potter-esque advice?” Jen sighed.

“Oh, right... advice from the emotionally challenged, relationship-phobe, you sure you’re talking to the right person here?” Joey giggled as her mind found its way back to listening to her friend.

“Believe it or not, I’m asking myself that right now.” Jen smiled. “I guess you’re not really in the mood for turning my Grams – slash – turned into teenager problem this evening, huh?”

“I’m sorry, Jen. I’m sure that if you try to talk to her again, she’ll tell you what’s up with her. Just don’t... you know, don’t push her too much,” Joey suggested as she heard a knock at her door. Pacey. “I think Pacey’s here.”

“Oh, okay... have fun you two. Talk to you tomorrow?” Jen asked hurriedly.

“Yeah, sure. Good luck with your Grams.”

“I’ll need it, if she ever speaks with me again...that is. Bye, Joey, and thank you.”

“Bye, Jen. Don’t worry too much.”

“Yeah, bye.” Jen closed her phone and placed it on her desk. Maybe there was really no reason to be so worried. Maybe, maybe not.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Pacey knocked and waited for a welcoming ‘Come in’, but it took some time before the door was opened from within. He was faced with an absolutely stunning Joey Potter who waved her cell phone apologetically up and down.

“Hey, I’m sorry, Jen was on the phone and...” Joey smiled lopsidedly and stepped back to let Pacey enter the room.

“Hi.” Pacey closed the door behind him and let his eyes roam freely over Joey. “Oh my lord... you’re way to hot to be a chaperon.”

Joey blushed but offered him a better view by twirling around and lifting her asymmetrical dress a little.

Pacey smiled broadly and effectively stopped Joey by wrapping his arms around her waist. “I think I’m living out one of my teenage fantasies right now.”

“Really? Which one would that be?” Joey whispered and crossed her hands behind his neck.

“Mhmm, I think... all of them.” Pacey murmured before capturing her lips with his own.

Joey smiled against his lips. “I think I like your fantasies...” Stepping back after a few moments she tilted her head and looked Pacey up and down. “You know, you look quite comely yourself.”

“Oh, this old thing?” Pacey chuckled and examined his black suit thoughtfully. “Nah. Okay... now in order to make up for our last high school dance...”

“Could we just leave those memories were they are? In the past?” Joey asked and furrowed her brows.

“Sure, no frowns allowed today anyway.” Pacey cradled her face in both hands and kissed her, briefly but passionately. “All I wanted to say was, that... even though I did buy you a corsage back then, I managed to let it wilt to a lovely shade of brown. And to prevent that from happening again, because I so don’t have a green thumb when it comes to that, I brought you options.”

Pacey turned back towards her bed, where he had dumped two boxes a little earlier. “In box “a”... we have the corsage for the fun-loving and whimsical Joey... a carved radish on a bed of baby carrots. And then, option “b”... the corsage for the classic and sophisticated Joey... roses on a bed of baby's breath, which has a creepy name but is a classic flower.” Pacey offered both boxes to her, like weighing them on the scales. “So, what will it be, Madame...”

“Hmmm....” Joey examined her options closely. “Both are very nice, Pace. But I think, since I have something for you, too... I’ll go for classic and sophisticated and choose the roses.”

“All right, roses and baby breath it is.” Pacey chuckled and put the delicate corsage on her left wrist, caressing her pulse point with his thumb.

Joey smiled and held his hand in hers, bringing it up and kissing his palm. “Thank you.”

Pacey returned her smile warmly. He had been nervous as hell most of the day, especially since Dawson had shown up in his office, but now, he felt relaxed and absolutely happy. It was strange, but definitely great.

Joey turned around and reached for a box that was sitting on her nightstand. “And in honor of the classy guy you are tonight...” her eyes sparkled as she pinned a matching red rose on his suit jacket.

“Oh, don’t be fooled. It’s just a costume.” Pacey almost blushed. It was true, sometimes he felt like he was wearing a costume when he looked at himself, wearing a suit now almost every day.

“No, really. You get a rose. It’s perfect.” Joey’s hand lingered next to the rose on his chest, right above his heart.

Pacey laced his hand with hers. “Shall we?”

“This will be fun.” Joey nodded and watched him turn and get her coat, that was hanging by the door.

“Yeah, a flashback.” Pacey chuckled and wrapped the coat around her shoulders, hugging her from behind, enjoying the feeling as Joey relaxed against him.

  
  


~*~

  
  


After they had picked up Harley and Patrick they drove over to the school and found one of the last available parking spots. The ride was very quiet and it seemed like Harley and Patrick had been fighting before Joey and Pacey arrived at Hetson’s house.

Everything seemed so oddly familiar and even though neither of them spoke it out loud, they exchanged meaningful glances and silently confirmed the rule that high school proms just weren’t made to be enjoyed. They meant drama and possibly heartbreak, nothing more and nothing less.

Time and again Pacey observed Patrick leering at Joey through his rear-view mirror. Of course he didn’t feel threatened by a sixteen year old boy, but still he couldn’t deny feeling just a little jealous. The idea and thoughts that had formed in his mind over some days now came back to him and he wasn’t sure if he could keep them inside for much longer.

Joey felt the stares Patrick directed at her from the back and she saw Pacey checking his rear-view mirror a few times more than necessary. Smiling softly she placed her hand on his upper thigh. The not so small side-glance she earned from him, told her just how much this little gesture affected him. Her smile widened and she winked at him.

The exchange of small displays of affection between Joey and Pacey caused Patrick to frown. As he saw Joey resting her hand on Pacey’s thigh, he couldn’t help but inhale sharply, completely ignoring Harley’s annoyed and also hurt expression.

The school was decorated with castles and knights, trying to create a fairytale backdrop for the prom. Joey and Pacey walked in with Joey leaning against him after she had accepted his arm. Harley and Patrick followed behind them, not looking at each other and at least two feet apart.

“Nice night,” Joey said and looked around. Actually she felt rather good at that moment, more relaxed than she had expected.

“I just love the smell of Secret antiperspirant in the evening.” Pacey remarked dryly but grinned.

Joey’s raised brow forced him to tread back a bit. “It had to be said.” He shrugged and took everything in. Maybe high school proms were only horrible for those who actually were in high school. Right then it felt pretty good to be there.

“This whole night bites already,” Harley stated and crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest. She tried to get a reaction from Patrick, but he just stood there, hands buried deep in the pockets of his trousers as he seemed bored watching a few people who were dancing.

Joey followed her gaze and again she felt memories ringing a bell. “Harley, you’re not the first woman in history of proms who accompanies a non-dancing date.” Grinning Joey nudged Pacey’s arm softly, “Mr. Witter over here was famously uncooperative when it came to the booty shake.”

“Uh-uh, Potter... I just needed to be convinced it was worth my time to go and make a fool out of myself. And if I remember correctly... we danced a lot...” Pacey defended himself mockingly-

“Yeah, but on our prom, you....” Joey started but stopped abruptly, casting an apologetic glance at him. They had agreed to let the past rest in peace and there she was, bringing it up again.

“Ah, Jo, that’s not nice. Besides no more inside jokes like that... please?” Pacey asked and kissed her temple. He knew that this evening had to remind her of their own prom and that it still hurt, not only her, but him as well. He wanted this night to be the one that could erase that feeling... or at least paint it over with a better memory.

“This guy is obviously a loser... how could he not want to dance with a hot babe like you?” Patrick moved closer to Joey and raised his brows in an attempt to appear suggestive.

Joey and Harley shot dirty glances at him, while Pacey couldn’t help but laugh at Patrick’s impudence.

“Careful, buddy,” Pacey wrapped his arm around Joey and looked seriously at the teenager who just shrugged.

“Gotta love proms, huh?” Joey whispered to Pacey and leaned against him.

“And this is just the start.” Pacey pointed at a girl that was approaching Harley and gushed over her dress.

They watched the exchange between the two girls, until Patrick hissed, “Just keep it down, alright? Your friend over there might think I’m attached.”

“And there it goes... the curse of proms rears its ugly head again.” Pacey sighed.

“I hate you!” Harley exclaimed, trying to ignore the stinging feeling in her eyes.

Pacey and Joey exchanged a meaningful glance. It was time to intervene.

“Patrick, perhaps you’d like to go over to the punch bowl and retrieve some drinks? I think she might wanna claw your eyes out... and just maybe I might need to show her how to do it.” Joey narrowed her eyes at Patrick. He was an asshole and as bitchy as Harley could be sometimes, she deserved someone better.

Pacey watched Patrick leave and started his mission to save the damsel in distress. He turned towards Harley and smiled. “Have you ever noticed how much that dress brings out the color of your eyes?”

“No.” Harley frowned and stared at Pacey. Was that a compliment? Was she being complimented?

“Oh well, it does. You look so pretty tonight and I bet if you and I were to step out on the dance floor, you would be, by far, the most beautiful woman on it.”

“Duh.” Harley blushed but the hurt in her eyes was gone and she accepted Pacey’s arm, who led her to dance.

Joey watched them mix in with the other people. Once again Pacey was the knight in shining armor. Maybe the decorations weren’t so out of place after all.

Patrick followed Joey’s gaze and stepped close behind her. Joey tilted her head and took a deep breath. “Ahem?!”

“What? Oh, beverages, right. I was wondering why I went over there.” Patrick shrugged again and grinned.

“Maybe you should wonder about other things as well, Patrick,” Joey suggested.

“You mean Harley and your boyfriend?” Patrick scoffed. “You know, if you were my girlfriend....”

“Patrick!” Joey interrupted him annoyed.

“What?” He shrugged and nodded towards the dance floor.

Sighing Joey joined him, exchanging glances with Pacey.

“You know, I should tell you that I happen to be close, personal friends with Woody Kulchak, who has snuck in a bottle of Peach Schnapps tonight. So, if you'd like this dance to be truly magical, I could arrange for cocktails for two underneath the bleachers. Just give me the word,” Patrick suggested hopefully as he managed to step on Joey’s toes for the umpteenth time.

“No, Patrick.” Joey rolled her eyes and left him alone. He was just too much, too often.

“Think about it, babe,” Patrick called after her.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“Looks like our wannabe-Casanova finally got a clue.” Pacey grinned and tilted his head towards the dance floor, where Harley was dancing with some guy, closely watched by an obviously jealous Patrick.

“Oh well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He just can’t stand any competition... whatsoever.” Joey shook her head.

“He’s an insecure teenager, Jo,” Pacey said, but wasn’t really convinced of it.

“He’s a jerk, Pace.” Joey raised her hand and caressed his cheek lovingly. “I guess not everybody can be such a good man as you are.”

Pacey leaned into Joey’s touch, looking down. Turning his hand, she kissed the palm of her hand. She was the only woman that ever accomplished making him blush.... and she had just done it again.

The line in front of them moved and they finally got their punch. Pacey eyed his glass suspiciously. “What kind of school dance actually has a punch bowl?”

“A schmancy private school dance.” Joey smirked and tasted the fruit punch.

“Well, I hope for the sake of all involved, that some intrepid student has spiked this punch, or else it kinda loses out on its cliché value.” Pacey sipped on his drink and scrunched his face. “Ah, nope... I guess private school students are too sophisticated for that.”

“Or maybe they’re way too sneaky to spike up the obvious punch.” Joey nudged her arm against Pacey’s and smiled.

“Huh? Do you know more than I do?” Pacey moved the glass to his other hand and ran his free hand lazily up and down her spine. A simple touch, but he could feel her shiver slightly. He loved how she reacted to him.

“Maybe...” Joey teased, only continuing to talk as his eyes narrowed on her. “Okay, see... dear Patrick invited me to a dubious têtê á têtê under the bleachers, promising me cocktails, you know...”

“What? I think I need to have a word with...” Pacey started with mock anger but was interrupted as Joey tugged on his arm, pointing towards the dance floor.

Patrick was wrestling with the guy Harley had danced with moments earlier and didn’t look like he would stop anytime soon.

“Maybe we should...” Joey raised her brows and frowned, watching the adolescent cockfight.

“Yeah, right.” Pacey bent forward and kissed her bare shoulder. For a moment he had actually forgotten that this wasn’t their own prom and that they had some adult duties to fulfill.

Holding Joey’s hand in his own, Pacey cleaved a way for them through the typical crowd of onlookers. As they got closer, they were able to overhear the yelled conversation between Harley and Patrick, while Patrick still had the other guy in a death-grip.

“Patrick! Let go of him!”

“Why should I?” Patrick retorted heatedly. “You guys were dancing pelvis to pelvis like it was going out of style.”

“So what? Huh? He was my only recourse after you failed me in every way.” Harley almost stomped with her foot.

“Jamie isn’t your date, I am!”

“Oh really? Did you do one date-like thing this evening?” Harley raised her brows and stared at Patrick.

“This is date-like!” Patrick declared determined while still wrestling with Jamie.

Pacey and Joey stood at the side, watching the verbal and physical exchange. Joey waited for Pacey to do something, but he seemed to enjoy the spectacle.

“Well... are you gonna do something, Pace?”

“Oh yeah, of course... sure... absolutely... it’s just so funny.” Pacey chuckled.

Joey shook her head. Of course he would find it funny. Had to be a male thing. How was that again? Men are from Mars and women from Venus? The fact that Mars was the Greek god of war and one of the most prominent and worshipped deities could explain this rather primate character trait.

Opposed to watching the two boys testing the waters, being on the receiving end of one of Joey’s dirty looks wasn’t funny at all. “Okay, okay.” Sighing he made his way over to the boys, stepping right in between them and effectively parting them.

“Okay, break it up guys... cool down.” Pacey pushed them farther apart and holding them at arms length.

Although they remained away from each other, they kept glaring.

“That’s how you want to win my heart? By trying to give the guy a wedgie?” Harley stepped back and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The whole evening was a disaster.

“It’s called Krav Maga and J.Lo used it in _Enough_.” Patrick wasn’t about to give in.

“Hey... it’s Patty from the block...” Jaime quipped, provokingly looking at the crowd that had formed around them. Naturally the teenagers erupted in laughter.

Pacey found it hard to refrain from joining in and the annoyed expression that Patrick was sporting gave him the rest. “You walked right into that one, buddy.”

“Yeah,” Patrick mumbled, before raising his voice and addressing his rival again. “That wasn’t even funny.”

“Ah, come on... your girlfriend liked it,” Jaime grinned sardonically as he caught a side glance at Harley.

“Oh really?” Even though Jaime was taller than him, Patrick attempted to take another swing at him, but missed him and hit Pacey against his ear instead.

“Oww... alright, that’s it.” All feelings of funny had left Pacey and he gave a short shrift, pushing Jaime to the left side, while grabbing Patrick with his other hand and shoving him off the dance floor.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Joey watched Pacey and Patrick disappear towards boy’s bathroom and turned around to look for Harley. She couldn’t find her and decided to try the one place she was most likely to be after a scene like that.

Pushing the girl’s bathroom door open, Joey was instantly faced with a crying Harley. “Look at me... I look completely hideous.”

“No, you don’t. You look like a rock star.” Joey moved over to her and wiped her tears away, trying to console her.

“You are kidding, right? You’re just being nice.” Harley sobbed and sniffed.

“Me? Nice? Please, you know me better than that. And I’m serious, you have the whole smoky eye look going.” Joey smiled and gently touched Harley’s cheek.

Harley attempted a weak smile and raised her head. “So, where’s _he_ whose name shall not be spoken?”

Joey winked at her, recognizing Harley’s behavior as one that wasn’t that unfamiliar to her. “Oh, he’s in the boy’s bathroom with Pacey. Getting cleaned up... sort of... or whatever else boys are doing in there.”

“Did he ask about me?” Harley tried to sound unaffected, but she wasn’t.

“I’m sorry... but I don’t know, Harley. I just saw them going in there.”

“Do you think they’ll talk like we do?” Harley grabbed some paper towels and moistened them a little to freshen up a little.

“Of course they are. It’s... well, it’s a real stupid preconception that only girls talk about boys in the bathroom or whenever they’re alone for a moment. Boys do the same and sometimes they’re ten times worse then we are. Oh, and of course they also engage in those dubious contests...” Joey grinned.

“Yeah, like who has the bigger....” Harley acceded.

“Harley!” Joey stared at her wide-eyed. Somehow she doubted Professor Hetson would approve of this conversation.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Pacey sat on the edge of the sink and watched Patrick re-arranging his suit that had been slightly affected by the rough treatment during his wrestling interlude.

In a way Patrick reminded him of himself, well... maybe he hadn’t been that bad. At least he was pretty sure he had treated Andie and especially Joey much better. But when he looked behind that ‘bad boy facade’, he saw an insecure teenager, who didn’t know yet how to deal with interpersonal relations, especially relations to the female species.

“You know, I’m all for the grand romantic gesture, but next time, instead of flailing around wildly, why don’t you just tell her that you like her? And then, if you still feel the need to throw a punch afterwards, pick an enemy your own size. Like an opossum.”

Patrick stopped fiddling around with his shirt and shot daggers at Pacey. “Oh yeah... like you’re the Rock, or something.”

“Hey hobbit, I’m taller than you... probably stronger, too... and I can grow facial hair.” Pacey stated cockily and obviously amused.

“What do you call this, then?” Patrick pointed at his chin.

Pacey squinted his eyes and replied seriously, “Lint.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Harley was still upset and the tears just wouldn’t stop. “Look at me! I’m crying in the bathroom.” She shook her head, angry at herself.

“And thus carrying on an age-old tradition of women crying in the bathroom.” Joey carefully dabbed Harley’s cheeks with a tissue, trying to avoid further damage to her makeup. “I did it in high school, too.”

“Oh joy... why doesn’t that make me feel better?” Harley snatched the tissue from Joey’s hand.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. But that’s just how it goes with high school dances.” Joey brushed Harley’s hand away, re-claiming the tissue. “You buy the dress, mess with your hair, pose for the picture and then you think your date is finally gonna say all the things you’re dying to hear, but no... never gonna happen. Inevitably you end up in the girl’s bathroom... crying.” Joey raised her brows and shrugged.

Harley stared at her with big eyes, that didn’t want to believe this. But Joey’s persistent nodding left her no other choice.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“So... you like Harley, don’t you?” Pacey inquired with a knowing smile.

“She has her strong points...” Patrick abruptly turned away from the mirror and stared at Pacey like a deer caught in headlights.

Pacey nodded and grinned. Yeah, he remembered this stage of denial all too well.

“Umm... okay, I mean... as long as we’re talking man to man, yeah.... I like her... a lot.” Patrick lowered his head, slightly ashamed of his blushing.

“Well, good.” Pacey slipped off the sink and walked towards Patrick, patting his shoulder. “Congrats, man.” He paused and his tone turned serious. “’Cause true feelings for a woman... that’s about the best experience you’re ever gonna have. I mean, it’ll make you strong, it’ll make you stupid... and eventually it will definitely take you closer to being the man you want to be.” Pacey exhaled, seeing the questions and also a faint hint of understanding in Patrick’s eyes. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet, but chances were that Harley could be his Joey.

Stepping back, Pacey smiled. His little impromptu speech had opened a door to his own heart, and to something he had been too scared to do before. But after this day... he was ready.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“You know... it’s really unfair. Why do we have to have all the... heartache? I mean... what do boys actually have to suffer?” Harley stood in front of the mirror, letting Joey revive her hairdo.

“Believe me, they do suffer. Sometimes just the same as we do... and sometimes, well... I don’t know. But don’t let them fool you with their tough exterior. A good friend once told me this, too. Beneath that whole tough guy, who never lets his feelings shine through... they’re just as vulnerable as we are.” Joey stopped working on Harley’s hair and made eye contact with her in the mirror.

Maybe she should have remembered this more often in the past. Inhaling deeply, she silently vowed to never forget it again.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Pacey glanced at Patrick who seemed finally ready to get out of the bathroom again. “Ready to face the music again, buddy?”

“I guess...” Patrick shrugged. He wasn’t really ready, but he couldn’t hide forever in the bathroom, could he? “You think she’ll still be pissed?”

“Maybe. Women are a little sensitive in this respect.” Pacey adjusted his tie, thinking about Joey and her antics whenever he had done something that put her in rage. On the other hand their make-up sessions weren’t to be sneezed at.

Patrick frowned and buried his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“Don’t be afraid to be nice to her.” Pacey advised.

“And by nice to her, you mean...?”

“I mean, tell her that you like her shoes.” Pacey rolled his eyes.

“Oh... and her, uh...” Patrick smirked and licked his lips.

Pacey exhaled desperately. Maybe a little smack on the back of his head would get his brain working again. Doing just that, he muttered, “Just tell her you like her, idiot!” and turned towards the door.

“Owww...” Patrick complained and rubbed the spot where Pacey had hit him lightly. Feeling fresh anger rising, he stepped forward, stretching his arm, pushing Pacey slightly.

“Hey... don’t push me!” Pacey turned around and raised his brow warningly.

“Oh yeah?” Patrick asked challenging and strode towards Pacey. “Let’s see what’s up!” He tried to tackle him, but it was nearly futile since Pacey quickly put the teenager into place, holding him effortlessly captive with his right arm over his neck, forcing him stand still.

“Yeah, let’s see, buddy.” Pacey grinned. Some of Doug’s lessons weren’t such a waste of time after all.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Harley had cooled down and felt a little better. She was almost ready to leave the girl’s bathroom again and examined her reflection in the large mirror, applying a whiff of lip-gloss as final touch. Joey’s words were still running through her mind and she just had to ask.

“So, ummm... you’ve honestly had a bad time at every dance you’ve gone to?” She searched Joey’s eyes through the mirror, her own wide with curiosity.

Joey bit on her lip, quickly shifting through the memories of the few dances she had attended.

“ _I’ve been meaning to ask you something all night, Pacey. Would you like to dance with me?”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _How come this feels so right?_

“ _I remember everything.”_

“Hmmm... yeah... although...” Joey smiled and tilted her head, “there were that one moment that seemed to make it worthwhile after all. And today? This one was nice... not only a moment, but all of it.”

“Oh well, I’m glad someone had a good time.” Harley sighed and put the lip gloss back into her purse.

“Now, don’t look so sad, Harley... I’m sure you’ll get your moment that makes it all worthwhile.” Joey nudged Harley’s shoulder reassuringly. “Ready to face the music again?”

“Yeah... yeah, I’m ready.” Harley straightened and followed Joey out of the door.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Once back in the hall both started to scan the room for their better halves, but couldn’t find them.

“Do you think they’re still in the boy’s bathroom?” Harley asked disappointedly.

“Maybe...see, this proves again that boys need more time. More time to grow up, more time to figure things out. Girls are, well....” Joey smirked.

“Smarter.” Harley laughed.

“Something like that, yes... okay. I’ll go check on them... we don’t want Patrick to think that you’re pining away for him, do we?”

“I’m not pin...” Harley protested.

“Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, sweetie....” Joey winked at her and started to walk. Briefly hesitating she looked over her shoulder and muttered, “Been there, done that.... you’re in denial, no use to raise a hue and cry.”

Harley attempted to reply something but Joey cut her off before a single syllable could leave her mouth. “Hush and think about it. Don’t waste too much time.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Patrick and Pacey were still wrestling, or rather Patrick was trying to do anything and failed piteously. Both stopped moving immediately as they heard the door squeak. They stood perfectly still as if they could hide their recent activities.

Joey opened the door to the boy’s bathroom carefully, hoping that nobody except Pacey and Patrick were in there. “Hello? Everything okay?” She stuck her head through the small chink between door and frame.

The scene that was unfolding before her eyes was hilarious and she had difficulties to hold her laughter in.

“Yeah, fine.” Patrick choked since Pacey arm was wrapped around his neck.

“Yeah, everything’s good in here.” Pacey sighed and shook his head imperceptible. Of course Joey had to witness this. Well, she had seen him in many much more precarious situations.

“Ah... just checking.” Joey grinned. Boys were boys... no matter how old they were. “Hmm... think you could join us back at the dance soon?”

“Yes, absolutely... we’ll be there shortly,” Pacey confirmed, exhaling as the door snapped close behind Joey.

“Now, behave buddy.” Pacey released Patrick slowly, who stretched and adjusted his skewed tie.

“Yeah, I don’t know why I should be taking advice from you. Like you’re some kind of Yoda when it comes to the chicks.”

Pacey chuckled and raised his brow. “Have you seen my date?”

Patrick was gasped, and looked astoundingly like a fish who constantly opened and closed his mouth. “Tell me more sensei.”

Pacey patted Patrick’s shoulder. “Well, well... kiddo...”

  
  


~*~

  
  


When Pacey didn’t show up after almost twenty minutes while Patrick was already dancing with Harley, Joey started to look for him again.

Remembering the last time she lost sight of him at a dance and where she finally found him, she got her coat and stepped outside.

A smile flitted over her face as she saw him, leaning against the railing, looking out into the night and up to the stars. As she closed the door behind her, it was eerily quiet compared with the ear-piercing sound intensity from the music inside.

“Hey,” Joey announced her presence softly and was surprised at how dull her own voice appeared to her. “Ohh...”

At the sound of Joey’s voice, Pace turned around and smiled. “Yeah, I know. Kids today, huh?” Opening his arms, he motioned for her to come over to him.

“That damn rap music!” Joey smirked and cuddled into Pacey’s embrace, resting her head against his shoulder.

“And those baggy pants...” Pacey chuckled.

“Oh, oh... careful there. Those Hawaiian shirts you sported back then, could have offended several people, too,” Joey snickered.

“What?” Pacey rubbed his ear, “I can’t hear you, woman.” He grinned. “Oh well, but... even with the damage to my unsuspecting eardrum...”

“Aww, poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?” Joey reached up and softly caressed his right ear where Patrick had accidentally hit him earlier.

“Hmmm, that’s tempting, really tempting,” Pacey replied and moved them, so that Joey was standing in front of him, with his arms wrapped around her waist.

Joey smiled and kissed his earlobe tenderly. “Better?”

“Maybe. Too bad he didn’t hit me... here.” Pacey pursed his lips and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, we could pretend he did, couldn’t we?” Joey grinned.

“What?” Pacey raised his voice in mock indignation. “Potter, are you considering cheating here?”

“I would call it pretending... but if you have problems with that.” Joey sighed and shrugged, attempting to step away from him, but didn’t get very far.

“Oh no, no problem at all.” Pacey smiled and pulled her back to him before kissing her passionately.

A few moments later he broke their kiss and studied her face. This was the perfect moment.

“What I wanted to say was, that...I did think that tonight was quite nice.” Pacey cleared his throat before repeating, “Quite nice.”

“Yes, quite nice. It was... has been a perfect night.” Joey licked her lips and looked up, trying to decipher what Pacey’s eyes were telling her. All evening she saw that he was mucking about something and from the way the emotions were playing over his face, she knew it had to be something big.

Almost losing himself in her probing gaze, Pacey nearly chickened out. Just to keep himself talking, he broached the topic by starting with telling her about Dawson's visit. Somehow it always came back to him when they were deciding on their future.

“Umm, did I tell you that Dawson stopped by my office today?”

“No, you didn’t.” Joey squinted her eyes. She hadn’t thought about Dawson for quite a while and the fact that he visited Pacey in his office was... strange, to say the least. “What did he want?”

“Well, to give you the short version, which will obviously lack in regard to his eloquent presentation of guilt and expiation, mixed with a good amount of persuasion...”

“Pace, could you come down to the nitty-gritty, please?” Joey rolled her eyes.

“Oh, okay, sure. I’m sorry. Well, he wants me to invest some money for him and make it grow fast. He needs it for some filming project or whatever.” Pacey explained, never moving his eyes away from her face. He needed to know what she thought about this.

“Oh... well, I can’t say that that’s something I’d have expected.” Joey frowned. “What did you tell him?”

“In the end, I thought, why not. I mean, it’s just a business transaction, right? Do you think I shouldn’t have accepted?”

“Umm, no... although, doing business with friends... ex-friends, or whatever we are now... it’s not exactly easy.”

“No, it’s not and I’m not that comfortable with it either, but just as he pointed out, I can’t afford to reject investment money at the cost of the firm.” Pacey sighed, but was comforted by the fact that Joey seemed to be okay with it.

“Yeah. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen anyway?”

“The stocks I invested his money in could crash... he could lose money... I don’t know.”

“Okay, but he should know that investing in stocks... it’s not always a blue chip situation. If he wanted to play it safe, he should have opted for something else.” Joey shrugged and smiled lopsidedly. “Treat him like any other client. You’re not Dawson Leery’s keeper, okay?”

“Okay.” Pacey smiled a little and pulled her even closer.

“So this was bothering you all night?” Joey mumbled against his neck.

Pacey straightened and took a deep breath. “Umm, partly... but...” he hesitated and kissed her temple gently. Although he was sure that he was ready, that they were ready, he was scared to ask.

Joey felt the anticipation that was running through his body. Cradling his face in her hands, she felt her heartbeat quicken as she realized the seriousness that lay in his eyes. “What is it? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes... don’t worry.” Pacey took her hands in his and held them tightly between them. “You know, tonight... as I watched Harley and Patrick perform their dubious courtship display... and when I talked with Patrick, well... it showed me something. We’ve been through so many things, Jo. We had our share of ups and downs, but through all of it...” He moved his right hand up to her cheek, lifting her head and caressing her with his thumb before he continued, “My whole life, Joey, my whole life you’ve been the most beautiful thing in my orbit. And my feelings for you were what proved to me that I could be great. And those feelings were stronger and were wiser and more persistent and more resilient than anything else about me.”

“Pace...” Joey bit her lower lip and stared at him with big eyes, blinking to keep the tears from falling. She felt scared and delighted at the same time. Her heart was thumping loudly and her stomach was doing flip-flops. Tilting her head slightly to the side she kissed the wrist of his hand that was still holding her face.

“Jo, not just today... but everything led us here and I... I believe that this could be it. This could be it for us. And I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.” Pacey saw her eyes widening even more and smiled, knowing what she was thinking and that she was probably scared he would ask that question.

“I’m not proposing, Jo... not yet anyway.” He chuckled as a tiny shadow of relief washed through her eyes. Even though he thought they would be ready for this commitment as well, he wasn’t about to rush things. They had all the time in the world.

“Those three months on True Love, and every single day that we wake up together... I want that, Jo. Not only for a few days... so, I thought...” Pacey cleared his throat. “I thought, would you... why don’t you move in with me? I mean, we have this big apartment and Emma is back in England... you could even have her room... or we could turn that into an office for all of us... or look for another roomie, but...” he rambled, suddenly afraid that Joey would never want to be with him like that.

Joey listened to every word Pacey said. After the first shock had left her, she was in complete awe. If Pacey had asked her to marry him, she probably would have agreed right on the spot. Seeing his doubts creep up on him as she didn’t reply, made her heart ache.

Raising her arms, she wrapped them around his neck. “I kinda like your room, Pace.”

Her voice was small, but Pacey heard her nonetheless. “You do, huh?”

Joey nodded and smiled.

“So is that a yes?” Pacey asked, his eyes sparkling with love and excitement.

“Yes,” Joey whispered against his lips.

Pacey blinked, his eyes a little watery just like hers and smiled before taking her breath away with his kiss.

  
  


~*~

  
  


They remained enveloped in their embrace for a long time, completely forgetting that they were at a prom, but suddenly Pacey drew back and whispered into her ear.

“If memory serves, I owe you a dance, Miss Potter.” Lacing her hand with his, he guided them back into the hall.

Most people had left by then. Harley and Patrick were dancing and it seemed like they were on a different planet, too. Or maybe it was just Joey’s rosy sight of things at that moment.

“I’ll be right back.” Pacey took their coats and placed them on the empty bleachers.

“Okay.” Joey nodded and watched him dash off. Knowing him, she was in for another romantic gesture. Grinning she sat down and waited.

She was daydreaming about the future as Pacey’s hand appeared right before her eyes. “May I?”

Joey took his hand with a smile and followed him back to the dance floor. The music was slow, maybe not exactly that slow, but as she listened to it, while dancing with Pacey, ribcages touching and all, she realized it was the perfect song for them.

 

_I thought miracles were make believe_  
It's hard to hold what you can't see   
But I found the faith I need   
Every morning when you wake up next to me   
  
If all the shit would take for granted   
Took the train and left us stranded   
Make us standing wave goodbye   
Each night I see the world with brand new eyes   
  
And in my heart I hear the music playing   
Can you hear it?   
Take my hand   
  
To the laughter   
To the tears   
To all those wasted years   
They disappear   
And they got us here   
Take my hand   
  
For the good fights   
And the bad   
For the dreams that we still have   
Looking back on it all baby   
We're still standing here   
Take my hand   
  
We can dance   
  
Baby lay down next to me   
I wanna feel each breath you breathe   
In your kiss I taste the truth   
I wanna get all tangled up in you   
  
In your heart I hear the music playing   
I can hear it   
Take my hand   
We dance   
  
With the laughter   
With the tears   
With all those wasted years   
They disappear   
And they got us here   
Take my hand   
  
With the good fights   
And the bad   
With the dreams that we still have   
Looking back on it all baby   
We're still standing here   
  
And when the song is over   
We'll still be going on   
  
In my heart I hear the music playing   
Take my hand   
We can dance   
  
To the laughter   
To the tears   
To all those wasted years   
They disappear   
And they got us here   
Take my hand   
  
For the good fights   
And the bad   
For the dreams that we still have   
Looking back on it all baby   
We're still standing here   
Take my hand   
We can dance   
  
We can dance   
We can dance   
We can dance   
We can dance   
We can dance 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics taken from "We Can Dance" by Bon Jovi


	5. What's Love?

## Chapter 5 ~ What’s love?

 

_The life so brief, the art so long in the learning, the attempt so hard, the conquest so sharp, the fearful joy that ever slips away so quickly – by all this I mean love, which so sorely astounds me my feeling with its wondrous operation, that when I think upon it I scarce know whether I wake or sleep._

_Geoffrey Chaucer_

 

 

“How many more books do you own, Joey?” Jack whined as he and Pacey were hoisting yet another heavy box, labeled with ‘Joey-books III’, up the narrow spiral staircase.

Joey turned around, narrowing her eyes on Jack. They had been moving her things from the dorm to the apartment all morning and he was complaining incessantly. It wasn’t even that he was doing most of the work, actually he had hung around most of the time, waiting until something had to be carried and his mood turned really sour as they had to turn off Joey’s small TV set to stow and secure it in one of the moving boxes Pacey had organized.

“What did you say you were doing during the semester break? Working out a lot? Spending hours and hours in the school gym? Because if you said that... I wonder why you’re not able to lift a little box like that without whining like a baby.” Joey crossed her arms in front of her chest, challenging Jack to answer.

Jack’s eyes widened at her outburst, not knowing what to say to that for numerous reasons. First, she was right. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle the boxes. Second, he did spent hours in the gym and this tiny move was not half as exhausting as his usual workout. Third, he wasn’t used to the Potter wrath.

Weighing his options he decided to turn to Pacey, “What’s wrong with her?”

Pacey inhaled, not in the least eager to guide Joey’s bad temper towards him. Quickly glancing at her, he tilted his head and motioned Jack to go on. “Well, name a single person who likes moving and who isn’t stressed by it. And the box isn’t getting lighter in any way, so flex your newly acquired muscles and we should be done in about half an hour.

“Fine.” Jack sighed and lifted the box on his side. If this was what he could expect of living with Joey and Pacey... he was sure the good ole leisure times were gone.

Maneuvering the box into Pacey’s room, which was now Joey and Pacey’s realm and looked pretty crowded with all those cartons, both men set the latest addition down.

Stretching his tired arms, Pacey sat down on the closest box and looked at Jack apologetically. “I’m sorry, man. I know that Jo’s a little bitchy today. As much as that’s due to the whole organizing of the move, it’s probably even more so because she’s freaking about Audrey’s return.”

“She’s coming back?” Jack leaned against the closed door, beginning to understand what was going on with his friend.

“Yeah, she left a message on Jo’s answering machine last week. She’ll be back on Thursday.” Pacey ran his hand through his hair. To be honest, it unnerved him, too. Even if Audrey was clean and sober now, they didn’t know how she would react to all the new developments. Not only were they together again, they were living together now. Something, he had spurned over and over again whenever Audrey had brought the topic up.

“I see. She’s afraid that Audrey will flip and take hold of the bottle again?”

“Something like that, I guess. And, well... I can’t say I’m so sure about what will happen either.” Pacey stood up and patted Jack’s back. “I know it’s unfair towards you, but we should try and make things easy, for all of us. Jo will be back to her normal self as soon as things have settled down.”

“Did things really ever settle down when you two are involved?” Jack chuckled and opened the door.

Pacey considered his question for a moment. Even if it was meant to be a jocose query, it did hold some truth to it. “I don’t know. That would depend on your definition of ‘to settle down’.”

“You know that I was joking, right? I just wanted to lighten the mood, but I guess that didn’t work out.” Jack turned back to face Pacey again. Maybe he should hone his walking-on-eggshells-technique when being around his roomies for a while, at least until they weren’t that sensitive anymore.

“Yeah, but... I mean, you’re right. It’s not like our relationship was that ordered or stable in the past. So this will be a first for us. ”

“Perhaps your past was a little rocky, but honestly Pacey, since I was around for most of it, I think it’s safe to say that the love you two share is anything but unsteady. Okay, there might have been some obstacles along the way, but deep down? It was only a question of time until you came to your senses.” Jack winked at him hearteningly and stepped into the hall.

 

~*~

 

Several hours later Pacey’s former room had gone through an almost complete transformation. Although his taste in furniture had immensely improved over the years and Joey loved the warm walnut furniture, his room used to lack in certain endowments she just couldn’t live without.

Therefore she had dragged him through an uncountable number of furniture stores and second hand shops over the last two weeks. Surprisingly Pacey hadn’t objected much, to the contrary, he became quite interested in what their room would look like.

None of his furniture was removed but some of it had to find a new place in the room. The low bookcase that had sat in the niche left from the bed was moved around the corner, at the wall next to the door. The vacated space was filled with a writing desk, that fitted perfectly inside the small alcove. The desk was big enough to write and work with the computer at the same time and the wall was adorned with bookshelves.

A second sideboard was placed under the window, where it triple functioned as a side table for Pacey’s cozy armchair, a place for Joey’s TV set and of course as a means to hold clothes.

The formerly bare wall to the right of the bed, next to the walk-in closet was custom-finished with a big, tall shelf-system, holding books, CD’s and Pacey’s small stereo system.

Besides that Joey had only added her personal decorative items, framed pictures, a pinboard and a few other things. All in all it was the perfect combination of both of their personalities, displaying more than ever that they were an ‘us’ now.

 

~*~

 

“You know, I never thought we would get done with everything today.” Joey flopped down on the bed and yawned.

“But we did, thanks to your master plan, Potter. You’ve been quite the little slave driver today, you know?” Pacey joined her on the bed, lying on his left side.

Funny how his bed became theirs. They had always slept like this. Joey to his right and her to his left side. She had said once, that every couple would have a unique sleeping position and to emphasize her theory, she described how Dawson and her had shared a bed. Of course he had cringed at the image, but it was a nice idea otherwise.

“Yeah, I was bitchy and a pain in the neck for you and especially for Jack.” Joey sighed and rolled over to face Pacey.

“Realization is the first step towards enlightenment, or so they say.” Pacey chuckled and brushed some stray strands of her hair out of her face.

“Did you rake around my books by any chance?” Joey smirked and let her tongue peek out a little.

“Are you mocking me?” Pacey’s eyes widened and he pressed his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Josephine. And after all I’ve done for us today.

“Aww, baby... I’m sorry. I guess I have to make it up to you... and to Jack.” Joey scooted closer to him, their bodies almost touching now and placed her palm against his cheek.

“Mhmmm.... maybe you should. What will you do with Jack, though? I don’t think he would appreciate your usual way of making up.”

“You think he wouldn’t like... this?” Joey asked innocently, kissing the corners of his mouth lightly, teasingly. “Or this?” she questioned while placing feather-light kisses along his jaw-line.

“Umm...” Pacey’s heartbeat quickened with the tiny, tingling sensations she created on his skin. “You’ve been there, done that.... remember? Our dear friend might find it endearing if you would... ummm, change your sex for a while, though.” Thinking became really difficult for him.

“Hmm, I don’t know about that, sweetie. I do remember a certain incident when I was drawing him... in the nude.” Joey giggled, and ran her hand through his thick hair. ‘

“That doesn’t count, he’s a man, that just happens...” Pacey pulled her even closer, showing her what exactly happened to _him_ at this moment.

“It does? It didn’t just happen that easily to Daws...”

“Could you stop talking about your ex-boyfriends, please?” Pacey silenced her with a soft kiss on her lips. Although the idea of Dawson being unable to stand his man, amused him to no end.

“Okay...” Joey smiled and returned the kiss, before drawing back again. “I think I’ll make it up to Jack with a dinner tomorrow. How does that sound?”

“Dinner? You want to cook?” Pacey raised his brow doubtfully.

“We both know _I’m_ not the cook here.” Joey grinned and winked at him meaningfully.

“Ah, I see... you want _me_ to cook for us, so that _you_ can make it up to Jack by using _my_ abilities.”

“Yep, food always does it for Jack. And I’ll make it up to you again.... after dinner.” Joey licked her lips quickly, her eyes darkening as she glanced into his blue orbs.

“Really? Killing two birds with one stone? I guess I like the way you’re thinking...” Pacey frowned but couldn’t help but smile.

“Great!” Joey slipped one hand beneath his shirt, caressing his smooth skin.

“Mhmm, I thought you were tired?” Pacey swallowed, hoping she wasn’t really _that_ tired.

“Not anymore,” Joey whispered and captured his lips with her own.

 

~*~

 

Pacey trailed his hands over her shoulder and along her bare arms. Although it was still more winter than spring, all the arranging and re-arranging of furniture, books, clothes and everything else had kept them pretty warm, changing into hot since they laid down on the bed.

“So you’re up for some christening?” he asked huskily against her soft skin, peppering her throat with tiny kisses.

“Mhmm, isn’t it a little late for that? Your bed isn’t exactly virginal anymore.” Joey tilted her head and smirked with her tongue peeking out behind her teeth just a little bit.

Pacey groaned and flipped them over, so that he was partially lying on top of her, sucking her tongue without a warning inside his mouth and leaving her momentarily breathless before pulling back, just far enough to look at her.

“See, that was _my_ bed the last time it saw some action... and from today on, this is _our_ bed, complete with those nice new sheets you bought. So _our_ bed is as virginal as possible.” Pacey declared very pleased with himself, especially when he realized that Joey had problems following his string of thoughts.

“Smart, Witter.” Joey finally regained control over her voice again.

Grinning, his eyes sparkled as he maneuvered his leg between Joey’s. “See, witless doesn’t really fit me.”

“Never said it would,” Joey whispered and pulled his face back down, already feeling intoxicated but needing much more of his kisses, their kisses.

Pacey slowly moved his hand up along her side and finally cupping her breast, circling his thumb around the already hardened nipple.

Joey moaned and arched her back while nibbling on his lower lip. Her hands played with Pacey’s thick hair, gently holding him in place, so that he wouldn’t stop kissing her.

Since they’d got back together again, one thing that was new for them was that there was no hurried lovemaking anymore. Hurried, as in having to fear that somebody might barge in on them because they were never alone, or fearing that they did something wrong. Those fears were gone and they took their time now, no matter if it was a quickie in Pacey’s office or spending a whole morning or day in bed.

Nevertheless Pacey became a little frustrated with Joey’s clothes and slipped one hand under her shirt, pushing it up, as his other hand guided her arms above her head.

Joey smiled against his lips, realizing what he was trying to do. It wasn’t an easy task, since she was lying on her back and she was just as anxious as Pacey to get their clothes off. Without breaking their needy kisses she sat up and raised her arms.

Pacey followed her movement, actually they were moving and working together as one. In the split second they had to part to remove her shirt, Joey simultaneously made quick work of the buttons on Pacey’s shirt, sliding it off his shoulders just as hers fell to the floor.

Her bra and his wifebeater followed, leaving them half-naked as they fell back to the bed.

“This is real, huh?” Pacey whispered as he scooted up besides Joey, facing her.

“Very real,” Joey replied in a hushed voice and gently pulled his head closer, letting her kisses tell him just how real they were.

 

~*~

 

“Well, well... if _this_ is how it’s gonna be from now on... feel free to bitch around as much and as often as you want Joey.” Jack grinned and leaned back, patting his more than satisfied tummy contently.

“You’re pushing your luck, McPhee.” Pacey warned from the kitchen area, preparing the grand finale of Joey’s make up dinner, which he ended up cooking of course. Not that there had been any doubt about it. He wouldn’t mind doing it everyday if that was the price he had to pay for having her live with him, which he wouldn’t tell her though. But she knew that he loved cooking and she did go shopping for them, getting everything he had asked for. So it wasn’t like she was exploiting him or his cooking abilities... and maybe he had too much of the wine she had bought, since he was even rambling in his thoughts.

“Uh-huh...” Jack’s grin just got bigger, “Whatever you say.” Leaning closer to Joey, he nudged her arm with his elbow and whispered loudly, “He really thinks he’s in a position to threaten me? We both know he’s sadly mistaken there and that he’s already whipped into shape, right?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, Jack. And who says he would be the only one whipped into shape? I think Emma was slacking a little in the whipping department before she left for England. Things are going to change, my dear friend.” Joey smirked and got up, stacking their used dishes up and carrying them over to the counter.

“Huh? What?” Jack almost toppled over with his chair as he followed Joey with his eyes.

“Jackers, Jackers... I thought you were more sensible towards a woman’s way of corrupting the men in her life. Seeing that Jen is pretty good with the whip as well,” Pacey chuckled, pouring fresh strawberry sauce over his panna cotta.

“What?” Jack’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, staring at his friends and roommates.

“Boys, stop it. Let’s just enjoy this delicious and festive debut of mine in our little commune here.” Joey snaked her arms around Pacey’s waist, kissing his neck lovingly and whispered against his skin, “Thank you for facilitating it, Pace.”

“My pleasure... and I haven’t forgotten about your promise last night, you know... making it up to me.” Pacey winked at her, carrying the sweet sin of a dessert over to their newly acquired dining table.

The table was another thing Joey had insisted on and although they only had it for two days, he started to think about how they could have lived without it. Sure, the counter was okay for a quick bite, but the round table offered them a nice meeting place. And dining or having breakfast together would be a great addition to their daily life.

The table offered seating for four, but was able to accommodate up to six, if they used the extending leaf that was hidden from view.

“Fine... I’m not complaining.” Jack rubbed his hands together as his eyes were longingly trained on Pacey’s dessert creation. It didn’t bothered him to be whipped like that, may it be by Jen or by Joey. Life was pretty good as it was. And he knew that Pacey thought the same. In comparison, both of them had lucked out with those girls, in more ways than one.

“Speaking of Jen,” Joey returned to her seat and smoothed the napkin Pacey was handing her over her lap, “Where is she? You did call her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. I couldn’t get a hold of her though.” Jack closed his eyes as the first spoon of the panna cotta disappeared into his mouth, sighing happily, before continuing, “I left a message on her mailbox. She’s probably out and about with C.J.”

“Her loss then.” Pacey shrugged, grabbing his spoon as well.

“Yeah, but it’s not like Jen not to return a call.” Joey frowned slightly.

“She’ll do it when she has time, don’t worry,” Jack mumbled with a full mouth. “Or... she’ll just make an appearance... out of the blue, you know?” he added confidently as they heard the rapping sound of a knock at their apartment door.

“Could be,” Pacey agreed and stood up to go and open the door. “Yep, you were right. There she is...” Pacey stepped back to let Jen enter the apartment as he confirmed Jack’s prediction. “Hi Jen, the later the evening, the fairer the company.”

“Hey.” Jen acknowledged Pacey’s greeting wearily, causing her friends to sense that something was wrong right away.

“Here, let me take your coat,” Pacey offered and closed the door.

“Huh?” Jen frowned and stared at Pacey with a blank expression. “Oh, right... my coat. Thank you.” Slipping out of it she handed him the garment but stayed rooted to the spot.

Exchanging concerned glances with Jack and Joey, Pacey gently placed his hand on Jen’s back, guiding her over to the dining table.

“We’ve just finished dinner... sorry that we didn’t wait for you, but since you didn’t call...” Jack started to apologize, but Jen didn’t seem to listen to what he was saying.

“We have lots of leftovers though. I can warm it up for you.” Pacey couldn’t help the uneasy feeling he had. Jen acted as if she wasn’t herself.

“Umm... no, thank you. I don’t want anything,” Jen finally replied. “Actually... I, umm... I ...” she tried to explain but her voice broke and her eyes teared up.

“Jen?” Jack immediately gathered her into his arms, trying to understand what was going on.

Sobbing Jen relaxed briefly into his consoling embrace, but drew back after only a few seconds. She knew that she had to explain herself, feeling the worried eyes of her friends on her. “I’m sorry. I... umm...”

“Jen, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” Jack asked hurriedly, at the same time checking her appearance, calmed that he couldn’t find any injuries at least.

“Yeah, I’m okay... I guess. I just need to tell you something... and I really need to talk with you, Joey.” Jen raised her already puffy eyes to meet Joey’s.

“Okay, sure... but you’re scaring us here, Jen. What is it? What’s going on?” Joey asked anxiously and reached for Jen’s hand. Trying to calm her so that she could start talking.

 

~*~

 

Jen took a deep breath, holding on to Joey’s hand and leaning back against Jack. She almost felt safe again, even though she knew that nothing would get better, at least she had someone to talk to.

“Umm, you remember that I told you about Grams being... ummm... strange?” she asked, seeking eye contact with Joey.

“Yes, I do. Have you talked with her?” Joey felt her heartbeat quicken. This couldn’t be good, it just couldn’t.

Pacey and Jack glanced from Jen to Joey and back before staring at one another, a big question mark almost visible in their eyes.

“Yeah, I did.” Jen sighed and closed her eyes briefly. “And after a little argument, well... the thing is... Grams, she’s sick. And I mean really sick.”

Three shocked pairs of eyes flew to Jen, desperately wishing that it wasn’t that bad, that their ears didn’t hear what they heard. Jen’s face, unusually pale and her teary eyes didn’t promise to make it all better though.

“It’s cancer, breast cancer. And she needs radiation therapy, soon... next week actually. And, she was okay with me telling you this... but she doesn’t really want to talk about it. So...” Jen shrugged helplessly.

As horrible as this news was, Pacey’s attention immediately turned towards Joey. Cancer. Again. Although it wasn’t a member of her family, it concerned Grams, who was really the grandmother of all of them. He knew that Grams’ illness would open the old but still not healed wounds again.

The sudden silence that filled the apartment was almost too loud to bear and for a second, time seemed to stand still.

Joey’s mouth opened slightly as her eyes closed on their own accord. Cancer. Blurry pictures appeared and disappeared before her. Images of her mother, the hospital, black dresses on an unrealistic bright day and images of herself, hiding from everyone. As she opened her eyes again, she met Pacey’s gaze and she knew that he understood. She smiled slightly, but enough to tell him a wordless ‘thank you’.

Joey scooted closer to Jen, wrapping her arms around her and just letting her know that she wasn’t alone. Sometimes that was everything you needed. Nothing more, but nothing less.

Jack wrung his hands together, not knowing what to do or say. Although he had been confronted with serious illnesses, death even, he felt helpless and unable to console Jen. Looking up, he watched Pacey, who was silent as well. Only that he was glancing at Jen and Joey, who were still embracing, while softly caressing Joey’s back, keeping in contact and letting her know that he was there.

He had almost forgotten about Joey’s experience with this horrible illness. In fact, he had felt a little pang when Jen said that she needed to talk with Joey instead of him. But he understood. In a way he was relieved that Jen could talk about this with Joey. It wasn’t like he and Jen weren’t as close as before, no, far from it. But the girls’ friendship had grown a lot since high school and there were certain things and topics they preferred to discuss between themselves, away from prying male ears – no matter if straight or gay ones.

Feeling Jack’s eyes on him, Pacey tilted the head and nodded slightly, motioning towards the kitchen. Maybe it was better to give them a little alone time, so that Jen could get everything off of her chest. She wanted Joey to listen to her. They should respect that and he knew that in situations like these people didn’t want to have a flock of people gathered around them. It was more than difficult as it was, without having to explain oneself to everyone.

“What about some hot chocolate?” Pacey offered as he stood up, planting a light kiss on Joey’s head.

“That’s a great idea... your special?” Joey turned her head, offering him a lopsided smile.

“Of course,” running his hand through her silky hair once more, Pacey followed Jack to the kitchen area.

 

~*~

 

“What can we do here?” Jack asked tiredly, hoisting himself up on one of the barstools.

“There’s not much we can do.” Pacey sighed and adjusted the temperature on the range to warm up milk for his special hot chocolate. “The only thing we can do, is support Grams and Jen as much as we can. To be there when they need us, helping them and trying to get their minds off of constantly musing about the cancer and all the what ifs.”

“Okay, but... how? I mean, how are we supposed to do this? Pretending that nothing’s wrong? Or what?”

“Just be yourself, Jack. Okay, cancer is serious but it doesn’t have to mean that it’s a death sentence.”

“Right, right. Of course.” Jack took a deep breath and glanced over his shoulder, peeking at Joey and Jen who had moved over to the couch. “I guess I’m not good at handling this.”

“Who is, really?” Pacey kept an eye on the milk while searching for the rest of his special ingredients.

“Well, Joey seems to be.” Jack nodded towards the couch. “Jen is much calmer now.”

Pacey followed Jack’s gaze, shaking his head slightly. “Maybe, but I wouldn’t be so sure about the handling part. She’s on auto-pilot now. Dealing with cancer will never be easy for Joey.” Sucking on his lower lip Pacey wondered just how long it would take until Joey broke down.

 

~*~

 

“Thank you, Joey. Thank you for listening to me.” Jen blew her nose and rubbed her hurting eyes.

“You don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends are for,” Joey replied, touching Jen’s arm gently.

“Yeah, but it’s one thing to say that and another thing to actually do it.... and I know that this isn’t easy for you.” Jen drew her knees up and shifted around to find a more comfortable position on the couch. “I just wanted... I mean, I know that you’ve gone through all of this with... umm, with your mom,” hesitating Jen considered for the first time that Joey might not be that eager to talk about it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, really. I know how you’re feeling right now, but... you have to remember, that this isn’t the end. From what you’ve told me, they found the cancer during a check-up examination. You said they think it’s still in an early stage... that’s good. My mom, that was different. We didn’t notice it until it was too late. I mean, we still had hope and she fought... but...” biting her lip, Joey’s voice trailed of.

“Yeah... Grams said,” Jen cleared her throat and stared out of the window, “she said that she’s not ready to die.”

 

~*~

 

Two hours later Pacey finally closed their bedroom door behind him and leaned against it, as he watched Joey undress.

They had talked for a little while longer with Jen, soothing themselves with hot chocolate, sprinkled with small pieces of marshmallows.

Seeing that it was getting later by the minute, they decided that Jen should stay at the apartment for the night and after they had called Grams, Jack had tucked her in, making good use of Emma’s old room.

Joey had been very quiet while they took care of the dishes, doing it not so much because they didn’t want to leave them for the next day, but because they needed to busy themselves with something as stupid as that.

He just hoped she wouldn’t shut him out. Back then she had refused to seek comfort in anyone, although she had spent a lot of time with him. Just hanging around, because he could make her smile about some inane joke, while Dawson always tried to analyze everything, even when there was nothing left to analyze. How could you analyze your mother’s imminent death anyway?

“Jo?” Maybe he should have waited for her to say something, but he couldn’t.

“Hmmm?” Joey slipped his jersey, which miraculously had become her sleeping shirt, on and tilted her head towards him.

Pushing himself away from the door, Pacey slowly stepped forward. “Umm, are you okay? I mean, with Grams... this brings back memories, maybe opens old wounds?”

Joey pressed her lips together, but only for a second before her trademark smile reappeared. “I’m okay.” Grabbing her hairbrush she sat down on the bed and patted the empty spot right next to her. “Would you...?”

“Yeah, sure.” He was still not really convinced that Joey was indeed okay, but he accepted her offer with a smile.

Taking his place behind her, he waited until she got settled in an Indian style position, with her back towards him, before he started to brush her hair, holding it in one hand, while sliding the brush through it with the other. He loved this little ritual.

“Of course it reminds me of my mom. And of course I’m worried about Grams like we all are.” Joey closed her eyes, simply enjoying Pacey’s tender touch. “But I’m not freaking out... not yet anyway. I don’t know, maybe I’m trying the ‘be positive’- way for once. I refuse to think that Grams can’t overcome this damned disease.”

“Yeah. Our dear Grams is a stubborn lady. She won’t give in just like that. And Jen did say that they discovered it early.” Pacey repeated the same mantra they had reiterated all evening long.

“Yes.” Joey reached for Pacey’s hand, stopping his efforts by taking the brush from him and tossing it on the nightstand. Snuggling against his chest, she laced her hand with his. “But, Pace?”

“Mhmm?” Pacey tightened his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Just in case, I mean... if it, you know... if I do start freaking out over the course of her treatment...” Joey inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Do you still remember those asinine jokes you told me? And those namby-pamby things you did to make me laugh? To make me feel better, if only for a little while?”

“Umm, yeah... I do.” Pacey cleared his throat and kissed her temple.

“Good. Because... I might need them again... from time to time,” Joey mumbled, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy. She felt totally relaxed and closed her eyes, still cuddling against Pacey.

“Sure. I might even have some new ones,” Pacey whispered, knowing that she was almost asleep. He could even feel her smile. Nuzzling her hair he felt those tiny flutters somewhere in his stomach. Maybe it wasn’t very appropriate, but he couldn’t help himself. She remembered.

 

~*~

 

“Why have I signed up for this lecture on Middle English again? Can you remind me please?” Joey groaned and flopped back on their bed, eyeing Pacey who occupied the writing desk, working on the computer to tabulate endless excel charts.

“Hmmm,” clicking on the ‘save file as’-option Pacey tore his eyes away from the screen and moved the swiveling chair around so that he could face her. “Let’s see, you’re thinking about taking English as your major, you’re fascinated with language, English in particular which includes the interest in its origins... and I believe this little cartoon series about the Canterbury Tales played an itty bitty part in it as well.” He grinned as Joey rolled her eyes in defeat.

“Since when do you keep such a detailed account on my studies?” Joey asked amused. He was right of course, nevertheless she was amazed.

“Well, do I have to remind you that I remember everything?” Pacey smirked, stretching his arms and folding them behind his head.

“No, not really.” Joey finally smiled and rolled to her side. “Okay then, note to self and to my Pacey archive: Never ever sign up for an unspecified Chaucer seminar ever again.”

“Noted and filed,” Pacey joked. Not even a whole week had passed since Joey moved in, but they couldn’t even imagine how it was to live without the other. Everything seemed easier when they were together. “Now tell me what’s bugging you so much.”

Joey sighed and pushed the one-thousand-three-hundred-something strong ‘The Riverside Chaucer’ paperback along the bed so that Pacey could reach it. “Page 345, _The Parliament of Fowles_. A ‘poem’, or rather a dream vision, of seven-hundred lines. Which I have to read and to write a free essay on until Friday... and today is Tuesday and I haven’t even started.”

Pacey took the book and browsed through the thin pages until he reached the designated page. Although the language was supposed to be an early variant of English, he didn’t really understand one word... let alone being able to pronounce it. “Okay, umm... see, for those of us who didn’t enter higher education... what is it about?”

“It’s about a bird debate, celebrating Valentine’s Day. There are three suitors wooing one female bird and while they’re arguing who suits her best, Chaucer tries to explain love.” Joey yawned.

“Love? Three men fighting over a woman? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“Duh! Why am I not surprised?” Joey rolled her eyes again and sighed.

“Because you know me so well.” Pacey grinned impishly.

“Yeah, you bug me,” Joey retorted playfully and glanced at the clock.

“You looove me.” Pacey sing-songed and followed her gaze. “You’ve got to start your shift at Hell’s Kitchen soon, huh?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I do. Which is why this assignment bugs me so much.”

“But you already know what it’s about. So where’s the problem exactly?” Pacey frowned.

“But it’s not enough to just know what it’s about, Pace. I have to read it completely. Remember the last assignment where I didn’t actually read the book? _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_? As much fun as it was to watch the movie with you, it still sucked in class.” Joey sighed and pushed herself up to change her comfortable home outfit to jeans and shirt.

“Point taken.” Pacey rubbed his chin, an idea forming in his mind.

While Joey busied herself with her clothes, Pacey logged on to the internet, smiling proudly as he found what he was looking for.

“Okay, I need to go.” Joey piled her hair up into a high ponytail.

“Yeah, wait a second. Look,” Pacey took several pages out of the printer and walked over to Joey, wrapping his arms around her waist, “what I found...a very readable and understandable modern English translation... The Bird’s Debate.”

“And?” Joey leaned back against Pacey, wanting to prolong the time they had together.

“And? Joey, Joey... will you work with me here?” Pacey chuckled. “When you come home, we can revive our good old tradition of reading books to one another, only this time we’ll exchange the Little Mermaid for some birds, what do you say?”

“Aww, you’re so sweet, Pace. You really want to do that? Reading Chaucer, that is?” Joey turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Sure. It doesn’t sound so bad after all.” Pacey smiled and kissed her first gently, but when she opened her mouth, inviting him in, the kiss turned more passionate.

Almost losing themselves in their heated exchange, Joey found it increasingly difficult to draw back. A few minutes passed by, in which their tongues and hands explored their favorite places.

“I... really... need... to...go... now,” Joey whispered in between kisses against his lips.

“Umm, yeah... right.” Pacey kissed the tip of her nose, reluctantly stepping back and watching her adjusting her clothes again.

“So while I’m gone... you could always start keeping the bed warm, you know?” Joey smirked and stuck her tongue out, knowing what this did to him.

“So you love me now?” Pacey obediently sat down on the bed.

“Always... see you in a few hours.” Joey blew him a final kiss through the air before rushing out of the room. Although she lived right across the street now, she somehow managed to be late most of the time.

“This woman will definitely be the death of me... sooner or later.” Pacey thought and tugged at his strangely uncomfortably tight jeans.

 

~*~

 

“What was all that commotion about last night?” Jack yawned and scratched his chest.

“Commotion?” Pacey raised his eyebrow questioningly and continued to sip his coffee nonchalantly.

“Don’t play dumb, Witter. You know, my bedroom happens to be right next to yours and Joey’s. And the walls aren’t that thick either.” Grabbing a toast, Jack yawned again.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Pacey tried to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth persistently morphed into a big, content smile.

“Uh-huh, right. Maybe I should consider moving into Emma’s old room if you two keep going at it almost every night... and all night long. And why are you hoarding the coffee?” Jack tapped his fingertips impatiently on the table top.

“Because I didn’t get much sleep and have a meeting in... umm.... forty minutes?” Pacey grinned.

“Arghhh... and whose fault would that be? And who cares about your meeting? I couldn’t sleep either... because of you!” Jack leaned over the table and lunged for the coffee pot.

“Tsk, tsk... Jack. You’re just jealous and the color green doesn’t really suit you. So smile and be happy for your two most favorite roommates.”

Jack inhaled sharply, trying to think of a proper and preferably snappy come-back, but the second he opened his mouth, Joey’s almost giddy “Good morning, boys,” wafted through the air.

Joey slipped on her chair, but not without kissing Pacey soundly on the lips.

“Oh please! Not again.” Jack groaned and rolled his eyes.

“What’s wrong with him?” Joey frowned.

“Oh, I don’t know really. Maybe he, umm... got to listen to some of... umm... our Chaucer research?” Pacey suggested slowly, knowing that Joey wouldn’t be so happy about that information.

“Oh.” Joey’s eyes widened and a deep blush crept over her face.

“Chaucer research? What kind of euphemism is that?” Jack inquired, suddenly wide awake.

“Umm, sorry if we were... a little... loud,” Joey apologized, still deeply embarrassed.

Pacey smiled and raised her hand to his lips to place a comforting kiss on it. “He’ll live. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie.”

“So? Chaucer?” Jack could be very persistent if he wanted to be.

 

“Yeah, I have this assignment, _The Parliament of Fowles_ by Chaucer,” Joey started to explain.

“And we read that. You won’t believe how interesting Middle English literature can be. This Chaucer had the idea that there are four kinds of love,” Pacey continued.

“First the love of charity, second the love of Venus, meaning passionate and erotic love,” Joey declared before Pacey took over again.

“He actually said, that eroticism may give you pleasure but only for a short time, since it couldn’t last and would only end in misery.” Pacey shook his head. “I couldn’t agree with him there, and had to convince Joey that he was completely wrong with that assumption.”

“Ah... I see...” Jack laughed. “Although I guess he does have a point in his theory. If you think about it...”

“You stop right there, Jackers. What would you know about that anyway?” Pacey interrupted him, his eyes shooting daggers at him, although his smirk gave him away.

“Why? Wanna convince me, too... sweetie?” Jack asked in an overly sugary and totally gay voice.

“Misery. Total and utter misery, Jack.” Pacey shuddered.

“See?” Jack couldn’t stop laughing at Pacey’s expression. “What are the last two kinds of love?”

“Love of nature and courtly love.” Now it was Joey’s turn to place a kiss on Pacey’s hand. Turning her attention away from Jack, she leaned closer to Pacey and whispered, “He’s kidding, baby.”

“I know... but... I always knew he had a thing for me.” Pacey chuckled.

“Could you two stop it? Besides, I’m sitting right here... it’s not nice to talk about people in the third person if they are present,” Jack complained.

“Sorry, but you were asking for it.” Joey giggled but suddenly turned quiet. “Umm, should we be joking like this? I mean, especially today when Grams starts her radiation treatment?”

“Yeah, especially today,” Pacey affirmed. “If Grams doesn’t back down, why should we? And laughter has always been the best medicine.”

“True, Patch Adams, huh?” Joey forced a little smile. Maybe he was right, but it was still hard to have fun like that and enjoy it.

“Exactly.” Pacey checked his watch and sighed. “Well, if you still want to check out of your dorm before classes we should get cracking. I can drop you off and then head over to my meeting.”

“Okay, I really have to do that today. I asked the housing office. Give me a second, then we can leave, okay?” Joey grabbed another piece of toast and took small bites while already heading back up to their room to gather her things.

 

~*~

 

Sitting down on her stripped bed, Joey let her eyes wander through the dorm room once again. Now that all of her personal things were removed, the last stowed away into the box that sat next to her, it was almost surreal. In a way it was frightening to think about how easy a person was removed from the memory.

Especially odd was, that Audrey’s side of the room, although most of her things weren’t there either, looked a lot more inhabited than her old half. She almost felt like an intruder in someone else’s privacy.

That was another thing that was weighing heavily on her heart. In less than twenty-four hours she was supposed to pick Audrey up at the airport and then she would have to tell her that she moved out, that she was back with Pacey. All in all, it wouldn’t be the nice reunion Audrey was probably expecting.

Joey hated goodbyes – even if it was just the parting from a room. The time she had spent here had been good, mostly at least. A home away from home, a symbol of what she was able to achieve in life.

Sighing she closed the lid of the box firmly and stood up, taking a final inventory and mentally ticking off the list in her head before signing the form the man at the housing office had handed her earlier. Another chapter in her book of life was closed.

“So, don’t get all sentimental now, Joey,” she scolded herself and slipped her coat on. It was time to go.

 

~*~

 

Just as Joey grabbed her box and was about to walk over to the door, it suddenly flew open and Audrey stomped in, carrying a bunch of suitcases.

Joey’s eyes widened with slight shock, almost not believing what she was seeing with her own eyes. “Audrey?”

“Hi, bunny!” Audrey dumped her heavy baggage and rushed forward, enveloping Joey in a big hug.

“Oh my god,” Joey muttered weakly. This was so not going to end well. Not like this, not there.

“Awww, I missed you bunny,” Audrey gushed and finally stepped back when she realized that Joey wasn’t really in hugging mode. “What’s wrong?”

“Umm...Audrey, you’re back... a day early,” Joey stated, frantically trying to come up with a modified version of her original plan of telling Audrey what happened during her absence.

“Yeah, I got early parole for good behavior.” Audrey frowned and studied Joey carefully. Something was definitely off. “Well, actually, the rumor has it that Courtney Love was checking in, and they needed the extra room.” Audrey’s eyes drifted away from Joey, taking in the changed appearance of their room.

A cold shiver crept through her, as she noticed that Joey’s belongings were completely gone. In fact nothing was left that could testify that she had ever lived there, except her current presence, of course. “Uh, speaking of rooms... what happened to our room?”

“Umm, yeah... about that... look, I’ve got to tell you something.” Joey bit on her lower lip, trying to find a way to ease into this conversation.

“Ohh, you flunked out of school. How sad. Death of a dream and all that.” It was an ill attempt at joking, but Audrey couldn’t help it.

Suddenly the tension in the room became almost too much to bear. Both girls staring at each other, knowing that the next few moments would most probably be uncomfortable. Just the opening ‘I’ve got to tell you something’ indicated that the something couldn’t be good, at least experience told you that. People never used that phrase to convey a positive message.

“Umm, no.” Joey ran her hand over her face. Apparently she hadn’t gotten better when it came to confrontations. Something deep inside her wished to just run away from it, but she didn’t listen. She was through with running, in the end things got only worse if she left them unsolved.

Taking a deep breath Joey stepped back to her bed and sat down. “I planned on picking you up at the airport tomorrow, because I really missed you and I... well, I didn’t want you to come back to a half deserted room without some premonition.”

“Okay... you know, I missed you, too, Joey. But right now, I’m not so sure what to think, really.” Audrey sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Yeah, I know.” Joey looked down, avoiding Audrey’s questioning glance, before she straightened again. “Umm, well... there’s no easy way to say it so I’ll just say it: Pacey and I, we’re back together, for some time now.”

Audrey’s face fell slightly. It shouldn’t surprise her, after all she had known that Pacey still loved her, hell... both still loved each other even though they hadn’t been together, despite everything. She knew it, but the actual fact, that they were together again hurt nevertheless, confirming that she was nothing but an interlude for Pacey and knowing that she never meant so much to anyone.

“Oh. Didn’t waste much time then, did you?”

Joey opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything. Audrey’s remark felt like a verbal slap in the face to her. Probably it was meant as one, too. Her hurt and mortification was obvious.

“It wasn’t like that, Audrey. You’ve been away for a while and you and Pacey were over even long before you left,” Joey reminded her calmly. As much as she could understand her friend in this situation, she couldn’t stay silent at her accusation.

“Yeah, right. That’s why you never called, huh?” Audrey crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

“No,” shaking her head firmly Joey continued, “I did call, but they said you weren’t allowed to have contacts outside of the rehab. And you know that, too.”

“Funny thing then that Dawson managed to visit me, isn’t it? I would say that a personal visit is much more of an outside-contact, don’t you think?” Her tone was aggressive and Audrey knew that Joey was right. Of course she was right, but at this moment she didn’t want to be rational.

Joey pressed her lips together, as her hands fiddled with the bobbles that were attached to her scarf. She didn’t know that Dawson had visited Audrey in L.A. and it took a moment to digest that information. After all it wasn’t important. No matter why or when Dawson saw her, it wasn’t her business. In fact, why shouldn’t they meet?

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe their policy regarding visitors is different than theirs regarding just callers? That’s not the point anyway. I tried to call you, but even if I could have talked with you... I wouldn’t have said anything over the phone.”

Audrey nodded sarcastically, but before she said anything, Joey started to speak again. “And that would have been for the very reason, that I knew it would hurt you. Just like it does right now. There was no use in upsetting you while you were in rehab. You had serious issues to deal with and it wouldn’t have been good for you to confront you with our relationship.”

“How considerate of you. What makes you think it would be okay for me now?” Audrey was still wearing her coat and got uncomfortably warm. Maybe it wasn’t the coat, though. Maybe it was the simple anger that was building up inside her.

“Nothing. But we don’t want to hide and you have a right to know... just like I had a right to know about you and Pacey last year.”

This time Audrey averted her eyes from Joey. Strike two. Again she was right. If she was thinking about it, rationally, there was absolutely no reason to be angry at them. Pacey and Joey were an item long before she met either of them. They never parted in that sense and she was the one who came between them, maybe that wasn’t really true, but nevertheless Pacey had been Joey’s boyfriend before he became hers. She was one of the rebound girls... nothing new there either.

“Yeah, whatever,” she managed to reply. “And now you’re moving out of the dorm to live with Pacey?” she couldn’t help but ask, although she thought that Joey would maybe move in with Jen. Pacey wasn’t eager to ‘move in together’, they had talked about that.

“Actually... yes. Pacey asked me to move in to the apartment. And I did, last weekend,” Joey admitted quietly.

Swallowing hard, Audrey tilted her head to the side. There was really nothing left to say after that. It seemed like Pacey just didn’t want to move in with anybody else other than Joey. Joey, his Joey. It has always been Joey and it probably would always be just her.

“I see.” Audrey’s tone was strangely unemotional, like she wasn’t even listening to what Joey said, like she didn’t care anymore.

“Audrey...” Joey frowned, not knowing what to say. It was a bad situation and if she were in Audrey’s shoes, she would definitely hate herself now – at least for a while.

“Yeah, well... that’s it then, I guess. Thank you for this nice _Welcome Home_.” Audrey stood up, shed her coat and walked over to the window, staring outside and wishing that Joey would leave her alone soon. She needed to be alone.

“I’m sorry.” Joey stood up and took a few tentative steps in Audrey’s direction, before stopping again.

“Good luck.”

“Audrey, I know you probably won’t believe me, or you don’t care... but…” Joey finally closed the distance between them and stood next to her by the window. “I love you... and I’m really happy that you’re, well... that you got better again and that you came back to Boston. Our friendship means a lot to me.”

Joey watched Audrey clenching her jaw and crossing her arms again.

“I don’t know if I even like you right now,” Audrey replied honestly, not looking at Joey.

“I understand.” Joey nodded. She had expected this reaction, but she was still taken aback. “But... even if you don’t like me or Pacey now... don’t forget that there are still many people here who miss you.”

Audrey turned farther away from her, fully facing the window and clearly not wanting to continue a conversation of any kind.

Joey lowered her eyes to the floor, staring blindly at her shoes, before finally stepping back. For the time being, there was nothing left to say. Audrey was hurt and didn’t want to talk to her. Silently she placed one of the flyers that announced the Boston Bay Loveline event, the one Jen helped to organize, on Audrey’s bed. Maybe, just maybe she would be interested in that. She hoped she would be.

Stopping again at her old bed, Joey glanced at Audrey’s silhouette for a last time and eventually hoisted the box up. It was time to go.

After she closed the door behind her, Joey leaned against the wall. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. Maybe it had all been a little too much and there was no way she would go to class now, she was late anyway. There were more important things than that.

As soon as she heard the door close, Audrey rested her forehead against the cool window pane. The tears she had desperately forced not to fall, finally ran down her face. Maybe she should have stayed in California for another day.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“Do we really have to go there?” Pacey groaned and loosened his tie.

“Yes, we have to.” Closing the Word document she had been staring at for far too long, Joey turned away from the computer and faced Pacey. “Jen was already in the stage of hyperventilating when she called again this morning and really needs our support. Especially now since...” Joey’s voice trailed off, not knowing if she was allowed to talk about it.

“Especially since what?” Pacey hadn’t missed the shadow of a frown that swept over her face. “Is it Grams?” he added anxiously.

“Umm, no... I mean, of course that’s one thing, but...” Joey sighed and played nervously with a strand of her hair, still debating with herself if Jen would be angry for telling Pacey or not. Probably not, at least not really.

“When she called this afternoon she told me that she broke up with CJ.”

“Oh.” Pacey sat down on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt. “Where did that come from?”

Joey shrugged and moved over to him, occupying his lap as she snuggled into his embrace. It might have been a little foolish, but she had missed him so much over the day. “I guess she has so much on her plate with Grams and school right now and she doesn’t want to bother him with that or she doesn’t want to chain him down with responsibilities he never signed up for.”

Pacey wrapped his arms around her, drawing her even closer to him and kissed her neck lightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“CJ is a good guy. As far as I can see it? He loves Jen and you know, if you love someone, it doesn’t matter what happens. You just want to be there for them. It’s not a question of what you might have signed up for or not.” Pacey whispered and stroked Joey’s hair. “Why is it that women just don’t get that?” he added lightly but thought about how Joey used to push everyone away. Jen did the same now.

“Yeah, but if you love someone, you don’t want to burden them with something like that. You don’t want them to suffer or...” Joey muttered.

“Jo, I told you that before. You love someone, you want to be with them. And as cheesy as those wedding vows are, they have a meaning. For better, for worse... in sickness and in health. That’s the whole point about love and a true relationship.”

“What have I done to deserve you, sweetheart?” Joey drew back and cradled Pacey’s face with her hands.

Pacey chuckled and kissed her. “You love me,” he whispered against her lips.

“That easy?” Joey smiled, never losing their contact.

“Ah... I don’t know if that’s so easy... I mean, you know...there have been times... ”

“Shhh.... no delving in the past. Remember? And it has always been that easy to love you.” Joey silenced him with another kiss.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“Okay, now that you’ve dragged me to this cringe-making event... please promise me that we won’t get involved any further than being just present to show Jen our support, please?” Pacey begged almost anxiously as they arrived at Boston Bay.

“Since when have we ever put ourselves into the foreground like that? And since when was I ever eager to talk about anything sexual... especially in public for crying out loud?” Joey rolled her eyes. There was absolutely no way she would participate in an open and public discussion – slash – talk show – slash advice – session.

“Oh well, stranger things have happened. A certain dance in high school comes to my mind...” Pacey smirked, but the smile left his face gradually when he remembered that the evening ended not so happily for either of them.

“Oh please, you can’t compare these two things.” Shaking her head, Joey slipped out of her coat and Pacey immediately helped her. “Thank you.” Joey smiled and tilted her head as another memory came to her mind. “Remember when you told me, that AJ would help me putting on my coat just so he could touch me?”

“Yes I do, although I conveniently forgot college boy’s name.” Pacey sighed. Why had he started this little trip down Memory Lane again?

“You did, huh?” Joey turned around and stepped in front of him. “Selective memory, I know. You said something like that back in the Kmart.... what was it?” tilting her head she pretended having to think about it before continuing, “Right, you chose to ignore my small, but still too high number of relationships with other men.”

Pacey closed his eyes. Of course she had to bring that up, hadn’t she? Straightening uncomfortably, because he was actually very happy with the ability to forget about those four men, or rather two, since she confided in him that there had never been anything serious or physical with Wilder or Charlie, he muttered, “You are mean, you know that?”

"Me? No, never." Joey grinned and let her tongue purposefully show behind her teeth. She knew what it did to him and she loved it. It was her counterpart to his oh-so-turning-her-knees-into-jelly-smile, and if she combined it with a little flip of her hair and a certain blink of her eyes... it turned into payback to his blue-eyes-sparkling-with-laughter-and-love-and-pure-lust-expression.

Pacey groaned. He knew it was a bad idea to go to this sex-discussion, which couldn't disguise itself behind the nice 'Boston Bay Loveline Night' mask. "See, I knew we should've stayed at home. You're getting awfully feisty here... and you never know when ‘other Joey’ strikes again.”

“You love ‘other Joey’... actually, you created her.” Joey pouted.

“I do. Love. Other. Joey.” Pacey lowered his head and whispered accentuated into her ear, “But I prefer not to share her with the public... I’m selfish like that.” Leaning even closer he nibbled on her earlobe, his warm breath causing shivers to run down her spine. “What do you say, you, me and ‘other Joey’ disappear from here before anybody sees us, go home and take advantage of a deserted apartment and continue with our christening mission?”

Joey closed her eyes and felt her heartbeat quicken. Just the tone of his voice, the huskiness and deep timbre were enough to give in to his suggestion. It was hard not to give in to him in these situations. Even back in high school when he teased her about having some fun in the boiler room.... she had almost agreed.

“Ummm....” she started to accept as a voice brought her out of her reverie.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“Joey, Pacey... there you are!” Jack grinned and put his arms on their shoulders. “I have your tickets here. You’re going to sit in the front with us, right? Jen will need us out there.”

“Front?” Pacey raised one eyebrow doubtfully and shook his head slowly. Sitting in the front was a bad idea, just as it had been back in high school.

Elbowing him slightly into his ribs, Joey frowned and turned to Jack. “Where is she?”

“Backstage, talking with CJ, which wasn’t going too well when I left them there, and...” Jack paused and sighed. Right then he felt like being in one boat with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla. Why did he always have to be some sort of mediator in their little circle? “Ummm, well... when I left... Audrey came running up.”

“Audrey?” Joey asked, biting her lip. “How... I mean... how is she?”

Pacey tightened his arm around Joey’s waist, trying to offer some silent comfort while he felt the same uneasiness.

“I honestly don’t know. I haven’t really talked to her.” Jack let his arms slip from their shoulders and shrugged. “She looked good, well... she looks like her usual bubbly self. Could be of course all due to her obvious infatuation with Dr. Drew. At least she was interrogating Jen about him the second she came into earshot.

“I know, she is addicted to Loveline... that’s why I left the flyer there.” A tiny smile flitted over Joey’s face.

David waved wildly, motioning for Jack to come back to him and Jack excused himself with a smile, but not without reminding them, “Front, left side. See you later.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Sitting in the front, especially together with the complicated composition their intimate circle found itself in, proved to be a very bad idea. If it hadn’t been as depressing as it was, Pacey would have mouthed a cocky ‘Told you so’ to Joey.

Actually everything had gone from uncomfortable to worse in only a matter of minutes.

Joey insisted on obliging Jack’s wish to meet in the designated area. CJ was already there, cowering sulkily on his chair, and they had taken the seats next to him. Of course they saved the rest of the row for their friends. Which proved to be the next wrong choice.

Jack and Audrey were the next to appear and Jack, being Jack, deliberately urged Audrey to walk in front of him as she continued to gush over Dr. Drew. She didn’t notice that he was forcing her to sit next to Pacey. A move he was cursed for by everyone involved.

The next disaster came unexpectedly and much sooner than anybody would have guessed. David had met one of his professors and took the chance to talk to him about an upcoming paper, thus he was late and sent Jack and Audrey on their way, promising to follow tout de suite. Only he didn’t and instead of him, a fleeting acquaintance of Jack, named Fred, appeared. Not thinking about possible consequences, Jack offered him the seat to his right, which happened to be the last free seat. Of course David arrived just in time for their friendly exchange and the start of the show balked Jack from running after him.

To top it all off, things continued to go sour when exactly what Jen had feared happened. Nobody in the sold out auditorium dared to pose the first question.

The stress and embarrassment on Jen’s face was visible for everyone. Audrey offered herself in a very importunate way, but instead of her, CJ moved to the podium, trying to figure out Jen’s reason for the break-up in front of everyone.

Their row began to thin out in an alarming speed when Jen surrendered her hosting duties to Audrey and Jack finally raced outside to go and find David.

Pacey sunk deeper and deeper in his seat, wishing Joey and himself were once again back to their cherished solitude on board of the True Love. The last thing missing was Audrey trying to confront them, but God or whoever it was you believed in finally showed some understanding and spared them.

  
  


~*~

  
  


“Now that was just... awful.” Pacey groaned as they left for the so called after party, or simply the private round-up of the evening in Hell’s Kitchen.

“It was, huh?” Joey agreed and rested her head on his shoulder. “But we’re still going to meet them. Why is that?” she tried to joke, but neither felt like laughing.

“Must be the Capside Curse, we’re just gluttons for punishment and heartache. And of course, we always get ourselves in those situations... over and over...” Pacey replied in an apocalyptic tone.

“And over again.” Despite the given circumstances Joey couldn’t help but giggle.

Pacey nodded contently. His mission to make her smile, even just a little, was accomplished – for the time being at least.

Stopping in front of the bar, he kissed Joey’s temple and asked with his lips against her skin, “Ready to face the final credits?”

“Not really... and I really doubt they’ll be final... but anyway, the sooner you get started, the sooner it’s over... right?” she pondered and reached for the door.

“Yeah... maybe... in another universe.” Pacey muttered to himself and followed her into Hell’s Kitchen. The name never fitted as good as in that moment.

  
  


~*~

  
  


Jen and CJ sat at their usual table, apparently the fronts were straightened and Loveline’s duo had worked their magic on them.

“Hey, you two,” Joey greeted them and hugged Jen, whispering into her ear, “I told you CJ is one of the few good guys.”

“Yeah, but he sucks at his grand romantic gestures... I mean, please... dragging our problems into the public like that. Maybe Pacey could teach him in that area.” Jen eyed the two men, who where talking animatedly.

“Well, Pacey does have a thing for public declarations as well.” Joey chuckled.

“He does, huh? Let’s see... kissing you at the side of the street, painting a hastily but adoringly SOS on a wall downtown, beating up Matt Caulfield on the school’s parking ground – in front of our principal nevertheless, practicing extensive foreplay on various dance floors...” Jen enumerated, highly amused.

“Uh-huh... you can add a quickie in his office to that list, too,” Joey whispered secretly. She was happy to see her friend so relaxed again.

Jen’s eyes widened. “No, really? Joey, Joey... never thought you were into that.”

“What can I say... I’ve been corrupted by my boyfriend... and by a certain blonde girl from New York, who told me all about her various encounters, in bathrooms, swimming pools and...” Joey grinned devilishly.

“Oh good... want to go shopping with me? You know, make-up sex and all...” Jen quipped but became serious again, “…besides that, I could use you to spend some time with me while Grams is in her treatment tomorrow.”

“Sure. I’d love that.” Joey squeezed Jen’s hand.

“Aww, now what do we have here? Two adoringly sweet couples...” Audrey commented snidely and slid on a barstool on the other side of the table. “Where’s Jack and his beau? Or couldn’t he make up his mind, seeing that we have another possible triangle there.”

Four pairs of eyes silently eyed her and Joey and Pacey exchanged a quick glance. Welcome back to hell.

“Jack’s gone over to David’s. And there’s no triangle there whatsoever,” Jen stated pointedly.

“Fine, fine... good for them.” Audrey trailed her eyes over the familiar faces, yet nothing was as it was when she left for California those long weeks ago.

“You did a great job with hosting tonight,” Joey told her quietly.

“Oh well, I guess I should thank you for leaving that flyer yesterday.” Audrey crossed her arms in front of her chest and rocked forward, propping her elbows on the wooden surface of the table. “That was a nice farewell present.”

“Audrey...” Joey tried to explain that it wasn’t meant like that, but Audrey silenced her with a wave of her hand.

“Uh, no. Don’t. I’m still not in the mood for a conversation like that. I’m only here to thank Jen for letting me take over and giving me chance to meet Dr. Drew. They’ll be here in a little while. Anyway... thanks, Jen.” Audrey smiled at Jen.

“Welcome. You kinda saved me there,” Jen returned with a smile. She felt for Audrey. It wasn’t easy to be her and to return to find Joey and Pacey reunited.

“Nah, that was just my big mouth and fateful attraction to men in white coats.” Audrey shrugged and hopped off the stool. “I see there’s a new bartender around, gotta introduce myself.”

Pacey frowned and watched Audrey heading over to the bar. Joey followed his gaze, equally worried. Moving her eyes back to him she nodded and Pacey sent her a grateful smile. He couldn’t help himself. He still cared for Audrey and just wanted to make sure she didn’t do something that could destroy the whole energy she had put into her rehab.

“Fatal attraction to men in white coats, huh?” he asked softly as he leaned with his back against the bar, facing her.

“Pacey.” Audrey sighed and blew some air out. “What do you want?”

“Nothing. Just talking to you, ask how you’ve been... how you are,” Pacey offered honestly.

“Why? We were over before I went to California and you didn’t exactly cry a river for me. How long did it take to go back to the love of your life?” Audrey didn’t want to discuss anything with Pacey, just as she didn’t want to talk to Joey. It was way too soon for that.

“Right, we were over with being a couple, but we’ll never be over as friends, Audrey,” Pacey declared, trying to make her understand that they cared deeply about her.

“Why does that scare me? The Capeside definition of ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’ is really creepy if you think about it. All of you are so busy with trying to remain friends, no matter what happened, no matter who fucked whom, who used drugs, who betrayed or had secrets. I just don’t get it, how you can still stand each other. It’s like a sick twist of Carpenter’s _Village of the Damned_.”

“Well, looks like you definitely spend a lot of time with Capeside’s movie pro,” Pacey stated calmly. “And to answer your question, nobody said friendships were easy. Everyone makes mistakes all the time. Not giving up on what you have or had, wanting to be in each other’s lives despite everything that might have gone wrong? That’s friendship, Audrey. Not a superficial pretending.”

“Joey told you about Dawson’s visits then. Can’t say I’m surprised there, but no, I came up with that realization all by myself. And pretending, Pacey?” Audrey reached for her colorful drink, that the new man behind the counter placed in front of her, and sucked on the pink straw to stress her point. “Why don’t you cut the chit-chat and say what you really want to say? You can’t stop being the knight in shining armor, can you? You only came over here to check if I was drinking something alcoholic, to check if I was drowning myself in sorrow about the reunion of our star-crossed lovers. I can calm your nerves: this is nothing but a harmless fruit cocktail... and if it weren’t?” Audrey shrugged and set the tumbler back down. “It’s none of your business. I don’t need you to be my hero.”

Pacey opened his mouth, wanting to rectify Audrey’s idea about his intentions, but she suddenly pushed herself away from the bar, eyeing the door.

“As much fun as this little talking in platitudes is... my party just arrived. Bye, Pacey.” Without another word she walked over to Dr. Drew and his partner, placing light kisses on their cheeks.

Pacey watched her go with a sad expression on his face. Maybe the Capeside curse was really a blessing.

  
  


~*~

  
  


A little while later, Joey and Pacey excused themselves and returned home. The mood had suffered during the evening, but they refused to let it get to them. Some things couldn’t be helped and some things would just need a little time.

“You know, as bad as this evening was... it gave me an idea for my paper.” Joey kicked her shoes of and got comfortable on the chair at their writing desk.

“You didn’t finish that already? I thought you said it was due tomorrow?” Pacey raised his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s so un-Joey like.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to write until now. And there are other things besides school.” Joey shrugged and turned the computer on.

“Huh? What did you just say?” Pacey walked over and touched her forehead with his palm. “No fever. Strange, what have you done with Josephine Potter and who are you?”

“I just re-evaluated my priorities.”

“I like that.” Pacey grinned and kissed her shoulder. “We’ll have to talk about our mutual new-found priorities some more... after you finished your assignment.”

“Yeah, we should do that.” Joey raised her arm and caressed Pacey’s cheek, moving her fingertips around to the soft hairs on the nape of his neck. “It shouldn’t take long. You know, once the inspiration and muse have found common ground, the words just flow.”

“You should consider being a writer since you’re already sounding like one.” Pacey chuckled and dropped another kiss on her head. “Take your time. I have to look through some things for the firm, too.”

Joey smiled and watched him stretch out on their bed as he opened one of the many files he brought home from the office, before turning her attention back to the screen and started typing.

About one hour later Joey clicked the save-button for the final time and then sent the file to the printer, reading it again as the device snorkeled and put her words on paper.

What is Love – an essay on Geoffrey Chaucer’s _Parliament of Fowles_

by Josephine Potter

There were definitely more than four kinds of love and one thing she was sure about was, that love could come in any imaginable and unimaginable form, always surprising, sometimes overwhelming and sometimes you didn’t even know it. Destructing, sure. The very thing that made you feel alive, definitely. And never something you should take for granted.

Shutting down the computer and placing the pages of her work in a folder, Joey switched the light off and turned around.

Pacey had fallen asleep, his head leaned against two cushions, the file still in his hands.

Joey moved over to him, trying to avoid any noise and carefully tugged on the dossier he had been reading, placing it on his nightstand.

“Love you,” she whispered and kissed his lips lightly, not wanting to wake him up, and settled down next to him.

A happy smile spread over Pacey’s sleeping features, as if he had heard her and he shifted around, throwing his arm over her stomach and drawing her closer to him.

Who cared that they didn’t undress? Joey ran her fingertips over his hand and switched the last lamp out.

 


	6. Hard Times Come Easy (Part 1)

## Chapter 6 ~ Hard Times Come Easy

 

 _It's amazing_  
_We go through changes_  
_When times get crazy_  
_It's up and down_  
_It's hot and cold_  
_These complications_  
_Just keep on coming_  
_There ain't no running_  
_When it comes to life_  
_That's how it goes_

 

Pacey played with the almost empty tumbler and let his eyes wander through the restaurant. It was too early for the piano player and he missed the soft, romantic background music. He had wanted to go out for dinner later, but Joey insisted that if they were going, they had to be home early so that she could study some more for her final exams.

Of course he relented. He could do without the piano music if it meant that he could spend time with Joey on their quasi-official ‘being back together anniversary’. A date that they celebrated each month. Somehow the fancy restaurant Joey had been so impressed with, became their first choice on these dates. It was still a little expensive, but once a month a romantic dinner for two was well worth it. Of course Joey assured him once again that they didn’t need to go there, that she was happy with any other, preferably cheaper, restaurant, but he didn’t want to hear about it.

Glancing at his watch, Pacey realized that Joey had excused herself a good ten minutes ago. Shaking his head he chuckled and took the last sip of his iced tea. He knew that she was in the restroom, talking with Jen on her cell phone. Grams wasn’t feeling well and her treatments made things worse rather than better. In addition, Jack and David were on the sure road of ending their relationship. Going out to dinner didn’t only cut into Joey’s strict study-time schedule, but also into the nightly telephone routine between her and Jen, which had established itself ever since Gram’s radiation therapy started.

“Do you need anything else, sir? More bread perhaps?” the voice of the waitress interrupted Pacey’s mulling.

His eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment, before he realized what she must have said, since he hadn’t heard her at all. “Umm, no. No more bread, but I’ll take another one of these.” Pacey raised his now empty glass. The waitress nodded and smiled, turning to leave, when Pacey added with a little wink, “And you don’t have to call me sir. It kind of creeps me out.”

“Yes, sir,” the waitress blushed at her little mishap and shrugged apologetically. “Sorry. I’ll be leaving now.” Hurrying away to get his order to the bartender, she accidentally bumped into Joey, causing her to mumble another excuse and lowering her eyes to the floor, where she saw any possible tip from that table vanish into non-existence.

Joey glanced at the flustered face of the girl that was probably about the same age as they were. She recognized the usual Witter-effect on her and rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Pace. Did you miss me?” trailing her hand over the back of his head and then down to his neck, Joey slid back on her chair.

“Well, I did.... but I felt lonely...” Pacey smirked, “and the waitress was flirting with me. So it was okay.”

“Uh-huh, right, more like you were flirting with her, since you can’t help it. It’s a disease really, the Witter-charm is deadly.”

“Hmm, maybe. Good thing that you are the only one that can survive and pay back in equal measure, huh?” Pacey laced his hand with hers and kissed her knuckles softly.

“Yeah... and paybacks can be a bastard.” Joey let her tongue peek out and grinned.

“Promise?”

“God, you’re so full of it, Witter.” Rolling her eyes passionately Joey tried to free her hand to continue with her dinner, but Pacey didn’t let her go.

“One question, Jo.”

Joey tilted her head, looking at him and waiting. “Okay...”

“What exactly did Jen tell you in the last ten to fifteen minutes?” Pacey chuckled at her deer-caught-in-the-headlight impersonation.

 

~*~

 

Pacey literally wrestled with his tie and finally threw it in frustration backwards onto the bed. This day was just doomed to go wrong in each and every little piece, thing, event or whatever the appropriate word was.

“Hey! Do I look like a wardrobe to you? And even if... is this the way to treat your wardrobe?” Joey complained in an equally sour mood.

She was lying on her stomach, chin propped on her folded hands, with her copy of _Catch-22_ spread open right before her eyes. Hetson’s exam came closer and closer and her anxiety crawled steadily up and down her body, leaving a trail of insecurity behind that was driving her nuts.

“Huh?” Pacey turned around and found Joey glaring at him with a whole different kind of tiara adorning her messy ponytail. “Oh...” he bit on his lip, trying to wipe the grin of his face. He knew he was a dead man if she caught him laughing. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

Perching next to her, he carefully picked the offending item off and planted a kiss on her head. “You know me, acting first and thinking afterwards.”

“Yeah, I know. God, this sucks... it sucks completely and utterly... and I’m so not ready for the exam.” Joey dropped her head and inhaled deeply.

“I know that you’ll do great. No, excellent. You’re just fussing like you always do before exams.” Pacey rubbed her now outstretched arms.

“Oh joy, my dear boyfriend doesn’t take my fears seriously.” Joey sniffed but the corners of her mouth slowly moved upwards.

“Nah, I do. But I know you and therefore... no need to worry.” Pacey nuzzled her neck and tapped on the current page of the book. “I’m not that well read and I haven’t been to your classes, but I think that the overall message of _Catch-22_ fits perfectly into this day. Of course, the simply equation that _Catch-22_ indicates a no-win situation would be too easy, but today? It’s just that. Rich asked me to take over his little initiation ceremony for the new aspirants for the firm. And just the idea of acting like Rich makes me want to throw up.”

“And on top of that, your tie doesn’t cooperate with you, huh?” Joey grinned and sat up.

“Who’s not taking problems seriously now?” Pacey arched his eyebrow amusedly.

“Shut up,” Joey ordered and easily mastered the task of maneuvering Pacey’s tie in a perfect knot. “You’ll be great... excellent even.”

“Woman!” Pacey almost growled and pulled Joey closer.

 

~*~

 

Joey sighed and scooted around in the uncomfortable cafeteria chair. They had been here for what felt like ages, but equaled rather the mere amount of two and an half hours.

For some reason learning together with fellow students was highly supported on the one hand, but on the other, especially suited places to do so, like the library for example, prohibited talking – even in hushed voices. And boy had they earned dirty looks as they tried to study there, nevertheless.

Of course their exhausted minds directed them to the most agreeable place then: the cafeteria. Studying was so much easier when provided with sweet sins like chocolate muffins and cappuccino. And they could talk, which other people – a lot of other people did as well. It was loud and it was only a matter of time until the lunch crowd would storm in.

“Joey?” at the sound of her name Joey looked up and gazed at her companion. Sidney tapped the highlighter against her open folder.

“Where were you just now? ‘Cause I want to go there, too. You looked so happy.” Sidney smiled.

“Umm... don’t know. Daydreaming... or first signs of insanity maybe,” Joey quipped. Although she was acquainted with Sidney ever since she started in Worthington, she didn’t know her that well as to commit that she had thought about her favorite good mood pill. It still worked wonders for her.

“Okay.” Sidney lowered her gaze and pushed a stray strand of her reddish brown hair behind her ear. She had hoped to get a little closer to Joey, and even though they’d been studying together for some time now, it was obvious that the brunette kept her distance. Politely, yet determinedly. But she was stubborn as well and by no means ready to give up on hoping for a friendship with Joey.

“Well, I guess it’s time for the next round of caffeine, huh? Two cappuccinos on me?” she offered while rising from her chair.

“Yeah, great. Thank you. Next round is mine then.” Joey smiled warmly. She liked Sidney and as far as she knew, she was a nice person.

When Sidney returned a few minutes later, it was obvious that she wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure if she should. It was written all over her face.

“What is it, Sid?” Joey asked, raising her brow.

“I don’t know if I... well, you know... it could be nothing but gossip.” Sidney wrung her hands together.

“Okay, gossip could give us a break from our highly sophisticated studies here. Shoot.” Joey waited a second and added, trying to ease Sidney’s obvious discomfort. “Believe me, I’ve been exposed to a lot of gossip and certainly don’t take it too seriously.”

“Okay. Well, you shared your dorm room with ummm... Audrey, right?” Sidney bent forward and almost whispered.

“Yeah... right. Why?” Joey’s voice was hushed, wavering even.

“Maybe it’s nothing, okay... so, really...” Sidney bit her lip, sorry that she had brought the subject up.

Joey’s eyes narrowed on her, waiting for her to continue and she obliged. You shouldn’t start things without ending them, right?

“So the two girls in front of me were talking about Audrey. Like, that she has been in rehab and that she missed almost the whole semester.”

Joey nodded, that was all true so far. It wasn’t good that people knew about that, but true all the same. Sidney wasn’t finished though.

“That’s true, isn’t it?” Sidney stated more than asked as she studied Joey’s reaction.

“Yeah.”

“And now, it seems like she had to go and see the administration and that she started some sort of rumpus just outside the office.”

Joey closed her eyes briefly. That sounded a lot like a pissed off Audrey and she was slightly scared to think about what it was that got her so enraged.

“It’s just hear-say, but from what the girls were saying, the dean asked her to either sign up for summer classes to make up for the missed semester or...” Sidney cleared her throat, “leave the university. And then, well... no idea if Audrey decided to sign up, or not... but after her conniption... including calling the dean some ugly names... they simply kicked her out.... apparently.”

Joey stared at Sidney with wide eyes. If she was a gambler, she would bet all she had that this wasn’t just gossip.

 

~*~

 

 _Round and round we go_  
_Sometimes it feels like_  
_We're on a roller coaster ride_  
_Baby don't you know_  
_It could eat you up_  
_If you try to keep it all inside_

 

Pacey took a deep breath, tilting his head from one side to the other in an attempt to relax the feeling of tenseness there. Of course it wasn’t working and he felt like he was being transported back into high school and back to how he felt right before an exam – only this wasn’t high school anymore.

To the contrary: It wasn’t he who faced a test, he was the one testing others. Others who were anxiously waiting in the conference room, the same room where he had been not so long ago. Then why was it so hard to go inside?

“Whatch’a doin, Witter?” Rich stepped up behind Pacey and whispered loudly into his ear.

Jumping slightly Pacey shook his head. “Do you have to be like that?”

“Like what? It’s not my fault that people are daydreaming when they’re supposed to be working. Which brings us back to my question. Shouldn’t you be on the other side of these doors?” Rich grinned sardonically.

“Yeah, right.” Pacey nodded sarcastically. “If I recall it correctly, you liked to keep the greenhorns waiting, didn’t you?”

“Oh yes, how observant, Witter.” Rich smiled sweetly and shrugged his shoulders before moving on to his next unsuspecting victim.

Pacey pushed the door open, with the right amount of pep, which put a frightened look on the faces of the young men who were gathered around the imposing table.

To be honest, he felt almost more frightened than these boys, but he couldn’t let it show, he didn’t want to.

“Good morning, gentlemen.” Rubbing his hands together, Pacey put on a poker face that was maybe just a tad arrogant. Circling the table, he looked at each of the candidates but only briefly before moving on. “I just left the most beautiful woman back at our home. The fact that she moved in with me is something that should not have happened. She is way out of my league, and I even like to think that I'm a fairly handsome guy, but I'm not that handsome. Now you might ask yourself: How does something like that happen? How does a guy like me get that lucky? How does someone like me get the girl?” Pacey paused and crossed his arms, casually leaning against the sideboard.

The men were following him with their eyes wherever he moved to. Probably highly confused about why he was telling them this. Actually he wasn’t quite sure about that either.

Scanning the pale faces in front of him, he continued, “I'll tell you. I'm twenty years old, and I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. I am making money... hand over fist... faster than I know how to spend it.”

Pausing again he considered what he had just said. Money? If he was sure of one thing, then it was that Joey was certainly not with him because he had quite a nice steady and monthly salary.

“And with money comes what, gentlemen?” The question was meant to be a rhetorical one, but some of the guys were crunching their foreheads, obviously trying to come up with an answer.

“I can see this is a difficult question for you, so I’ll help you out. Whereas money can’t buy you love, at least not the kind that really counts, it can make life easier for you. Money meaning independence. Money meaning you did something to earn it. Thus, money boosts your non-existing self-esteem to never before seen heights, opening all kinds of possibilities for you.” Pacey nodded. Now he was on the right track.

“And let's tell the truth. You all came here today because you're trying to escape the miserable bottom-feeding existence that you've been living that has denied you what is rightfully yours. If you want this for yourselves, you can have it.”

Stepping between two of the men, Pacey leaned over the table, putting his hands on it and accentuating what he was saying by tapping against the table top. “But I'm here to tell you, you will get your asses kicked on a daily basis, but you will learn. And ultimately, you will do what you were put on this earth to do, whatever that is for yourself. Making money, establishing a big ego or simply getting the girl you were dreaming of for years. And I have to warn you, despite how my little speech may have sounded like a fairytale – you’re far from being Prince Charming.”

Grinning and pushing himself back into an upright position, Pacey backed away from the table. “Now, if any of you are still interested in this proposition, be here nine a.m. sharp, Monday morning. If you are late, do not come into my building. Turn around, go home, and prepare yourselves for a life in retail. I'll see you then.”

Walking out of the room, a small smile formed on his lips. Not because he made an impression like Rich, but because he had overcome his own fears ... and because he got the girl.

“How did it go, Witter?” The second the doors closed behind Pacey, Rich appeared from a desk nearby, obviously having spent the time tormenting one of the other young employees.

“How do you think it went? I learned from the best, right?” Pacey cocked his head to the side, challenging Rich.

“Awww, that’s sweet. You wanna make out or...” Rich pursed his lips together, batting his eyelashes as he moved closer to Pacey.

“Nah, maybe later. I gotta brush my...” their little game of exchanging false niceties was rudely interrupted by loud cheering.

“What the hell is that all about?” Pacey frowned and observed the guys who were still whoo –hooing on top of their lungs.

“That, Mr. Witter...” Rich wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, “that is the sound of blood rushing to the nether regions.”

“Let me guess, the Stepatech approval went through?” Pacey turned back to Rich, who couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“Not quite yet, amigo, but the stock is still climbing.”

“Okay, good enough.” Pacey rubbed his chin, trying to hide his own joy, which was mixed with a nice dose of suspense. A lot of the money he had invested went into Stepatech and a lot depended on the approval.

“So, how did you scare the losers away?” Rich changed the topic abruptly and pointed backwards to the conference room.

“Wouldn’t you like to know that?” Pacey grinned.

“Easy, buddy. I’m still your boss.” Rich licked his lips, not at all happy about the fact that Pacey dared to play with him, something only he himself was entitled to do – with others, of course.

“How could I forget that, Mr. Rinaldi? But even employees need to have their little secrets... wouldn’t want to be that easy to replace.”

Rich’s eyes widened and he exhaled slowly, ready to blow as Pacey silenced him again. “Well, got to go. Roger’s awaiting my call. Later, Rich.”

“Oh that does it Witter. I used to be mildly impressed. Now I am in awe,” Rich muttered to himself as he watched Pacey retreat into his office. “Nicely done my friend, nicely done.” Maybe he would let him play a little longer, but talking back at him simply demanded a payback. You didn’t just play with Rich Rinaldi for nothing. You just didn’t.

 

~*~

 

Joey sat on the small bench in the window nook, just outside of her old dorm room. She used to sit there for hours, staring out into the world, indulging in all kinds of thoughts. Those had been precious and peaceful moments for her.

Now she was merely hiding there, trying to soak up some comfort from the security of her favorite spot of times not so long ago. She knew she would need all the strength she could gather. Running her hands tiredly over her face she finally walked the few steps to the wooden door and knocked.

It was strangely silent on the other side, but she knew that Audrey was inside.

“Open.” Audrey’s voice finally wafted through the door and Joey opened it, peeking in without entering the room yet.

“Hi. Umm... may I?”

“Joey, yeah, sure. Didn’t take long, huh?” Audrey stood next to her bed, neatly folding clothes into the opened suitcase.

A fact that caused a deep frown on Joey’s face. Neatly and Audrey were just two words that never occurred in close proximity. “For what?”

Audrey turned towards her, chuckling slightly. “For the rumor mill.” She glanced at Joey briefly before devoting herself to packing again.

“Gossip flies fast... especially if it’s the kind that’s not true.” Encouraged by Audrey’s calmness, Joey moved closer. But this calmness was also frightening.

“Yeah. In that case you would’ve been here earlier then.”

“So it’s true?” Joey asked already knowing the answer. It was amazing how they could talk about something so big and important by never naming it but only referring to ‘it’.

“Makes you wonder why I bothered to unpack in the first place.” Audrey looked pointedly at Joey and then back to the suitcase.

“Audrey...” Joey shook her head, not really knowing what to do or say. Audrey was so composed, at least on the surface, and that was more than unlike her. “What happened?”

“What happened?” Audrey pursed her lips and blew out some air. Everything about this day was surreal and this conversation was just the top of it all. Only a few days ago she wouldn’t have talked to Joey, but now the situation had changed again.

“I guess there could be an easy answer to that. Like, I’ve missed more or less the whole semester and therefore this prestigious institution has the really outrageous notion of trying to infuse at least some sort of education into my drug abused brain....” desperate for some air, Audrey inhaled deeply and shrugged.

“And that’s what you call an easy answer?” Joey smiled uneasily.

“Yeah, disturbing, huh?” Audrey perched herself on the small space between the suitcase and the sea of clothes on her bed, hugging her knees to her chin.

“Alright, I went to the office, because, well... I’m really not fond of the idea of spending the summer in dusty, abandoned halls and unfortunately one word followed another... so, yes, the gossip is true and I’m out of here.”

“But why, Audrey? Why did you throw everything away? I mean, what’s so bad about some summer classes? Especially after...” Joey’s voice trailed off as she lowered her head.

“Again I could find an easy answer to that. You know, but what’s really keeping me here in the first place? Nothing.” Audrey shrugged and wrapped an unruly strand of her blond hair around her finger. “And I could say, that that’s the case because of what happened between us... between you and me, Pacey and me, Pacey and you… but I won’t do that.”

Studying the pained expression on Joey’s face, strangely comforted her. It felt good to know that she wasn’t the only one who was suffering.

“I’m...”

“No, don’t say you’re sorry, because you’re not, Joey. And I’m not either. And let’s be honest here, we all knew it would come to this. I knew it and if I’m not making things up, I told you and the rest of the world exactly that at the horrible Christmas dinner.”

Joey finally sat down on the edge of her former bed, which was still not occupied by someone else. And now the room would have to deal with two new inhabitants. “But theory and reality are two different pairs of shoes.”

“True.” Audrey nodded, tilting her head to look at Joey directly. Something she hadn’t done for some time now. “I hate to be rational, but you were right, you know? Pacey and I were over before I went into rehab and I know that we never had what you two have. So I should be happy that I got out sooner rather than later.”

“You don’t hate me then?” Joey’s voice was small. The broken friendship with Audrey weighed heavily on her heart. Besides Jen, Audrey was the only girlfriend she ever had.

“Bunny, I could never hate you.” Audrey smiled weakly. “Wishing you on the moon sometimes? Yes. Wanting to slap you now and then? Maybe,” she giggled. “Some of your Capeside genes or maybe rather a virus must have jumped over to me. Hate seems like something I’m not capable of anymore.”

“Really?” Joey’s face lit up with a smile.

“Really. Maybe we should try to make a business out of it, selling the Capeside formula, ending wars, what have you.”

“Now that sounds definitely way too easy.” Joey relaxed a little more, scooting away from the edge of the bed.

“I guess it does.”

“So, if you... don’t hate us, why are you throwing your education away? Was it really that difficult to stay calm at the office?”

“Yes and no. You know, even before I returned to Boston, I wasn’t sure if I still wanted that. Boston, this elitist college... this is not my world, Joey.” Audrey continued to fold her clothes, needing to busy herself in some way.

“What are you talking about? I thought...” Joey frowned.

“That I like it here? Yes, I do... but, it’s not exactly a secret that my scholastic aptitude isn’t very developed. I’m leading the fun life of a student without the learning part.”

“That’s not true, Audrey. Don’t make yourself smaller than you are.” Joey bent forward, trying to make her point come through.

“I’m not – and that’s the _fun_ part. You wouldn’t believe how extensive one-on-one therapy can shed some light on your psyche and your insights.”

“Aud...”

“No, it’s true, bunny. I’m like an exotic bird here. I’m a late Californian love – slash – flower child, not that I’m into those Hippie things, but you know what I mean. College isn’t my way and if Daddy hadn’t paid for it, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“So what do you want to do now? Go home?” Joey was confused and she felt the beginnings of a headache.

“Sort of. I love singing and before I nearly destroyed the Hell’s Belles with my drunken performance, this was just what I always wanted to do. In rehab, music was one of my, well... programs and, yes... I think I could be good at it, really good.” Audrey smiled, obviously happy.

“You already are good at it.” Her smile was contagious.

“Too bad that I don’t have your voice, that would be even better.” Audrey joked.

“Uh-huh.” Joey shook her head doubtfully.

“Anyway, I’ll take some voice classes or something, and what place would be better for that than good old L.A.? But before I go home, I’ll make a little stop-over in Capeside.”

“Capeside? What?” Joey stared at her with wide eyes.

“Guess I have to tell you some more gossip,” Audrey sighed. “This Capeside virus comes with alarming side effects, it’s really perfidious... it encourages you to become part of certain incestuous circles. Probably because they need some fresh blood time and again.”

“Huh? Excuse me, does that mean...” Joey almost choked on her own saliva.

“Afraid so.” Audrey shrugged apologetically and grinned.

 

~*~

 

Joey sighed and stretched her tired limbs. It was still early and the twilight outside was several shades of gray away from resembling a pale sunrise.

Both of them loved to be woken by rays of bright, warm sunlight and therefore they always kept the blinds partially open. Nevertheless, it was still dark in the room.

Shifting carefully in Pacey’s embrace, trying not to disturb him yet, Joey gazed up at his peaceful face. A smile played along the corners of his mouth and his closed eyelids fluttered softly now and then. He had to be dreaming and obviously something pleasant.

Sighing again, she lightly kissed his bare chest. At times like these, she envied his ability to sleep as deep as a newborn baby. At this thought her brows furrowed slightly. “Whoever came up with that saying?” she wondered. “When do babies sleep at all? Especially when they answer to the name of Alexander Potter?” Granted, maybe her experience with the sleep habits of babies were a little limited.

Her silent chuckle was enough to permeate Pacey’s still slumber induced system. His arm reflexively tightened around her, bending his head without opening his eyes and instinctively knowing where to find her lips.

“Mhmm.... well, this is definitely one of my most favorite ways to start the day.” Pacey’s voice was still raspy from sleep.

Nuzzling Joey’s neck, still keeping his eyes shut, he mumbled, “What’s so funny though? Although you kissed me, I’m still wondering what I did...”

“And what makes you think _you_ did something?” Joey teased, whispering against his lips.

“Ouch.” Finally opening his eyes, Pacey feigned hurt.

“Awww...” Joey giggled and tugged on his bottom lip. “You’re cute when you’re sleeping.”

“Well, it sounds a bit corny ... but aren’t I always?” Pacey yawned and grinned.

“Yeah, especially when you’re being delusional.” His yawn was contagious, more so since she hadn’t slept that well.

“As much as I love our beginning banter spree right now... let’s be serious for a second here.” Pacey gently cradled Joey’s face, studying her tired expression. “It’s still very early and you look like you haven’t slept at all. What’s bugging you?”

Sighing deeply she leaned into his touch. “You mean, besides you?” Her weak smile couldn’t deceive Pacey and his raised brows silently told her to quit beating around the bush.

“Okay, okay.” Another sigh left Joey’s throat before she shifted again, melting her body to his and propping her chin on his chest. “You’re right, I didn’t sleep well. First I couldn’t fall asleep because you weren’t here and I wanted to wait up for you.”

“Sorry, sweetie.” Joey’s tone wasn’t accusatory at all, and he did call her to inform her that it would be late since they had to prepare some contracts related to the FDA ruling on Stepatech. Still he felt bad that it had affected her.

“Nah, it’s not your fault, I just wanted to tell you something. I fell asleep anyway, at least until I woke up almost every other hour. You know me and big exams. I’m just a mess.”

“And you know that there’s so not any reason for being insecure. You’ll ace Hetson’s exam. Don’t you worry.” Pacey chuckled and ruffled her bed tousled hair. He doubted that Joey Potter was physically able to relax when opposed to any kind of examination or testing situation.

“Uh-huh, let’s hope so, by goodness!” Joey groaned and rested her head fully on Pacey’s chest, listening to his comforting heartbeat.

Knowing that there was nothing he could say to convince her at the moment, Pacey silently continued to draw lazy circles on her back and reached for the remote of the little TV. It was nice to be able to watch from bed and since there was no way to go back to sleep now, he might as well check the business channel for any Stepatech news. At least that was what he thought – and much to the chagrin of Joey.

“And what do you think you’re doing now?” Joey asked surly, lifting her head from her favorite pillow substitute and trying to snatch the remote from Pacey’s hand.

She wanted to be pampered a little bit and he was watching that stupid business channel that was spitting Dow Jones indices even though Wall Street hadn’t even opened yet. Not in her book.

“Uh-uh, hold on a second.” Raising his hand, Pacey put the remote out of her reach, while holding her effectively in place by wrapping his left arm tighter around her. “Excuse me, I’m sorry, but today is most probably the day the FDA is ruling on Stepatech and I need to take a quick look. You’re troubled by your exam thingie and I’m kept in an awful suspense over that miracle flue thingie.”

“Thingie?” Joey’s voice raised a notch. “My exam is not a _thingie_... and how can you be so affected by something you entitle _thingie_?

Ignoring her complaints, Pacey sat up, pulling her with him and silenced her with a soft kiss. “No need to work you up for nothing, sweetheart. You know that I have a lot of money wrapped up in this _thingie_...” he purposefully stressed the offending word and continued, “...and this _thingie_ could buy us a lot of very nice _thingies_ : like a new car... or a second car. Maybe even a house.”

“Duh!” Joey rolled her eyes in mock exhaustion. “How did someone as young as you get so career obsessed? What happened to your plan on loafing around with the circus?”

“My, aren’t we all sunshine today? And you of all people should know that I used to be obsessed about a lot of things... especially a certain girl...”

Joey grumbled something unintelligible through her suppressed grin. Her private good mood pill factory was doing its job perfectly. “There won’t be any news right now anyway,” Joey murmured with big eyes, fully knowing their effects on him.

“Fine.” Pacey sighed dramatically and switched the TV off. “Maybe not.... but since you so rudely woke me from my peaceful dreaming state...” he whispered into her ear before suddenly moving them together so that he was partially on top of her, “I guess we could do something to ease your strains away.”

Crossing her hands behind Pacey’s neck, Joey smiled against his lips and pulled him even closer to her. He was always so careful not to crush her, although she had told and shown him many a time that she loved feeling him right against her, loved being covered by him. It was hard to describe, maybe like feeling completely protected. Feminists might start throwing a fit if they heard her say that, but she didn’t care at all.

Pacey moaned as their kiss quickly intensified. Supporting himself with his left arm, he readjusted his position slightly and was instantly rewarded with a content purr-like sound from Joey.

For a split second he asked himself again for the umpteenth time, how on earth he came to be so damn lucky to have her, to finally really be with her, but all thoughts left him as Joey tugged on his lip while lifting her leg over his waist, bringing them as close together as possible with the thin barriers of their light night clothes.

Skimming his right hand teasingly along her side, Pacey pushed her shirt, or rather his shirt, up, stroking the exposed skin on his way.

Finally reaching his momentary aim, he cupped Joey’s breast and brushed his thumb teasingly over her nipple.

“Pace...” Joey moaned and almost glared at him. It was too early to play games.

“What?” Pacey drew back slightly to look at her.

“Stop teasing me!” To emphasize her wishes, Joey slid her hand down his back, eventually reaching her destination.

“Now... who’s teasing?” Pacey muttered as her fingers closed around his cock.

“I’m not... just accelerating our fun.” Joey smirked innocently.

“But ... the teasing is... fun,” protesting weakly he rolled them over again.

“Exactly...” Joey agreed surprisingly and sat up, supporting herself by propping her hands on Pacey’s chest, “...why I love doing this...,” without finishing her sentence, Joey began to rock purposefully against his already prominent erection.

Pacey bit back his groan and grabbed her hips, stilling her movements. “Oh, I see... feeling dominant today?”

“Mhmmm...” deciding not to answer this question, Joey leaned forward and kissed Pacey passionately.

Returning her kiss with the same if not more fervor, Pacey reached again for the hem of her shirt and almost yanked it off. “You’re wearing way too many clothes.” His words were barely audible, but his actions spoke louder anyway.

 

~*~

 

The morning at the office dragged along like a turtle in slow motion. Pacey couldn’t really concentrate on anything and kept checking the stock reports on TV as well as on the internet. The FDA was taking their sweet time apparently and it wasn’t even a given fact that they would decide on Stepatech at all on this day. It was assumed and expected but not confirmed.

As great as the early morning had started for him, the worse it got with every passing minute. He couldn’t even call or send a text message to Joey since she was sitting in her exam and she was the only one who was able to take his minds off of things.

“Mr. Witter?” Becky’s voice softly interrupted his musings over the intercom.

“Yes, Becky?” Tearing his gaze away from the picture on his desk, a recent one showing Joey and himself shortly after she had moved in the apartment.

“Dawson Leery is on line two. Are you free to answer?”

Dawson. Well, at least he would be distracted for a while. “Yeah, sure. Put him right through.”

Sighing, he waited for the signal and answered the phone cautiously, “Dawson. What’s up, man?” It wasn’t like they were talking on an everyday basis. Far from it. Even if they did talk, it was just business.

“Hey, Pace.” Dawson paused, staring at the wall of the dining room he was currently painting. “Nothing much. Umm... listen, I’ve been thinking...” Right at this moment, he suddenly understood or at least he a had a small inkling of what Pacey must have felt that fateful year. It wasn’t so easy now that he was in more or less the same situation.

Pacey waited for Dawson to continue, but was met with a long, heavy silence. Frowning he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a second. These calls were strenuous to say the least. He had to admit that Dawson acted way more civilized for a while now. There were almost no sharp verbal attacks anymore.

“Alright, let me guess. You’re nervous, right?” Pacey tried a shot out into the blue.

“Nervous? Who? Me?” Dawson quipped with a slight tremor in his voice. Running his hand through his hair, he put the paint roller back into the bucket. Nervous was a sheer understatement and this phone call wouldn’t change anything. He couldn’t do it. Surprise. He did exactly the same thing he had blamed Pacey for.

“Well, thousands of dollars at play in the stock market which, from what I understand, can only be described as globally weak? Nah. Who's nervous?” Good thing he had the excuse of talking about business.

“And that’s exactly why it’s possible to make a lot of money in relatively short time – of course, you never know. I told you that.” Pacey rubbed his chin thoughtfully. At times like these, he missed his beard. “Ok, well, how about this? Last time I checked, your money proliferated quite nicely. Let me pull the current figure from your account and you decide if it’s enough.” Pacey opened Dawson’s file and studied the charts on his screen. “Have I ever let you down in the past? Actually, you know what? Don't answer that.” Shaking his head, Pacey sighed silently.

“Umm... yeah.” Dawson chuckled uncomfortably.

“Okay, as I said, your account looks good, meaning you could cash in at a relatively high profit.” Receiving no response, Pacey added, “Since I know that you need to make money, and that you need to make it fast, I invested for you in this biotech company called Stepatech. They have a miracle flu vaccine that is up for approval by the FDA right now, and the word on the street is it's a shoe-in. So if you can hold on for just a few more days, I promise you it will be worth your while. It'll be like the difference between making El Mariachi and Clerks. But it’s up to you – do you want to take a chance or do you want to play it safe and cash in now.”

“Ok, well, at least that's jargon I understand. Um...I guess in the spirit of Clerks, I could charge the film. I've been applying for credit cards like crazy, and two of them came in the mail today.” Dawson stared out of the window, contemplating just how venturesome he was. “Shouldn’t you be advertising a little more for staying put though?”

“I probably should. Just don’t tell my boss that. I’d simply hate to see you lose money on my account.” Pacey’s voice trailed off as he nudged the little ball of the Newton’s Cradle.

“I know, I know,” pursing his lips Dawson glanced at his watch. He had to go and needed to make a decision. “Okay, call me greedy... but I’m onboard. Why not take as much as possible – if it’s just a matter of days.”

“Okay. And...” Pacey leaned back in his chair, rocking softly, “if it makes you feel better, I’ve invested myself into Stepatech.”

“Maybe so. At least I guess you won’t invest your own money into a sure loss.”

Pacey and Dawson chuckled at the same time. Something that felt surprisingly good after so long.

“Not yet... who knows, maybe when I’ve made some odd millions and have to lose money in favor of taxes.”

“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you?” Dawson smiled.

“Anyway... I’ll keep you posted.”

“Okay, thanks. Talk to you in a few days.” Dawson clicked the phone off after they said their goodbyes. So much for that. It really wasn’t as easy as he had always believed.

On his way out he placed the phone back in its usual place, ready to leave the house. Before he could open the door his cell phone started to ring. Sighing he hoped to get rid of whoever it was as fast as possible, he glanced at the display and started to grin.

“I’m here... where are you?” She was apparently a little peeved.... and he was late.

  


_Seems like hard times come easy_  
_We do a lot of hanging on these days_  
_But the heart finds a reason_  
_And love always seems to find a way_  
_Even if it hurts_  
_Even if it hurts us baby_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics taken from "Hard Times Come Easy" by Richie Sambora


	7. Hard Times Come Easy (Part 2)

~*~

_There's gonna be thunder_  
_There's gonna be rain_  
 _There's gonna be those times_  
 _We both get caught up in the pain_  
 _The realization_  
 _Keeps sinking in_  
 _The way you make it_  
 _Is learn to take it on the chin_  
  
  


Pacey's mood had improved drastically over his late lunch break. Joey had called him after her exam and they had met for coffee and sandwiches down the street from his office.

There was no news from the approval before he left the firm and the day was drawing to an end faster and faster. Only two hours until the market would close and if the FDA didn't hurry up, he would have to endure this horrible tension for another day.

Balancing his briefcase and the Starbucks' take-out coffee cup in one hand, so that he could push the door open, Pacey threw a friendly "Hi, guys" into the cube-farm, but was met with a deadly silence. Not one of the men replied and there was no activity on the phones either. They were ringing, but nobody bothered to answer them. Instead, weary eyes flitted briefly over him before lowering themselves down again.

Licking his lips quickly while glancing around to find any hint of what was going on and also fighting the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Pacey's gaze finally landed on Rich, who was standing by the table in the conference room. The doors were open and as he walked up to him, he could hear him talking on the phone. His voice was strangely strained, in a way he had never heard before.

"Believe me, it's like a morgue around here. Hey, look, I took a major hit, too. All right. I'll talk to you soon. And do me a favor. Stay away from open windows. I don't want to hear about how they had to scrape you off the sidewalk or anything." Dislodging the receiver from his ear, Rich turned halfway around to Pacey. "He didn't think that was funny," he muttered, not quite believing that the guy had hung up on him.

Pacey frowned, still trying to put the pieces of this abnormal behavior being displayed in the whole office, together.

"Yeah, go figure. What the hell is happening here, Rich?"

"First of all, you're late. Where the hell have you been? Ah, forget it. I don't want to hear about your sexual exploits with Johnny, Jackie... Joey, whoever. I'm depressed enough as it is." Rich put the receiver down, biting the insides of his lips. A sure sign that he was really stressed and again something that wasn't his usual self.

"I'm being serious." Pacey ignored Rich's snide remark and asked bluntly, "What's going on?"

"What the hell do you think, dumbass?" Rich's voice raised a few octaves as he glared at Pacey. "The FDA issued their ruling thirty minutes ago," he paused before blurting, "Big fat rejection."

Pacey's eyes widened and his grip on the paper cup tightened, close to squashing it. "But Rich... you said Stepatech was a sure thing?"

"Yeah, well, so did everyone else." Rich shrugged, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Turns out Roger's miracle flu medication has a bunch of nasty side effects the FDA does not wish to inflict on the American public at this time."

"Rich, this is..." Pacey shook his head, not quite hearing his own voice. "This is... a disaster."

"Oh well, settle down, rookie. I've seen worse. I've lost more." Rich straightened, a tight smile on his face that was maybe meant to be comforting. Or maybe it was mocking. "We'll get over it. Live to trade another day."

"Live to trade another day?" Pacey hissed and repeated again, "Live to trade another day? I've been shoving Stepatech down my client's throats for six months." His hand started to tremble and he had to set the cup down on the table. Having lost his meager substitute of an anchor, Pacey grabbed the back of a chair, desperate for some sort of physical support.

"Pacey, stock market 101 - biotech stocks are sketchy, especially these days." Rich's voice changed to something close to soothing. He had forgotten how the first real loss felt. He almost felt sympathy for Pacey... almost. "You're going to get screamed and yelled at today, but it's not your fault. It's just a professional hazard. So, yes, the best advice is: go and deal with it. It happens and yes, you'll live to trade another day."

Pacey closed his eyes as his head began to spin. He barely heard what Rich was saying and he felt like somebody had punched him hard in his stomach, taking his ability to breathe away.

"Oh, man, you all right? You look like you're going to toss your cookies." Rich studied Pacey's extremely pale face with genuine concern.

"Huh?" It took Pace several seconds to realize that Rich had asked something and another few seconds to recognize what he had said. "No, I'll be fine." He doubted that, but the answer was nothing but a mechanical reply anyway.

Sighing, Rich patted Pacey's back. "Listen... take a deep breath. Go back to your office. You probably have a hundred phone calls to return by now. Listen to 'em, be concerned, be sympathetic, but be strong." He emphasized each of his points with another pat on Pacey's back. "And remember, _they_ got _themselves_ into this mess, _not you_." Rich paused. "Got it? It's business, nothing more, nothing less. Investing in stocks is like a big gamble."

Sighing again, Rich exhaled audibly and picked the receiver up, dialing the number of yet another customer who would yell at him. "Now get out of here. Get to work."

The show must go on, or so they say... don't they?

  


~*~

  


"Anybody home?" Joey yelled hopefully as she kicked the apartment door shut, since her hands were full with several goodies crammed in way too many paper bags. She really would have loved a helping hand, but nobody answered. "Of course..." she muttered under her breath and mentally crossed her fingers that the bags wouldn't burst before she reached the safety of the kitchen counter.

The dreaded Hetson exam had turned out to be not so frightening at all and she was pretty sure that she had aced it. Actually she had complete and total mastery of Hetson's arcane universe, that included sadistic questions like what Lolita's maiden name was or what day it was on the first page of _Gravity's Rainbow_.

Sidney and herself had to refrain themselves from performing a dance of joy once they handed their finished exams over to Hetson, who eyed them suspiciously.

Anyway, now that this awful day was over and done with, Joey decided that it was high time for some celebrating and after she'd talked Pacey into cooking a festive menu during their quick lunch, she went shopping.

With an exasperated sigh, she slumped the bags on the counter and leaned against it. "I'll never go delicatessen shopping again... ever... at least not alone."

Checking her watch, she saw that it was close to seven, meaning that the office was closed for the day, at least officially. She couldn't keep track of Pacey's overtime at the firm anymore. Of course, that had a lot to do with the imminent Stepatech ruling, but she knew how nerve-racking it was for Pacey and she saw how exhausted he was when he finally came home late in the evening.

Joey hadn't even found the time to tell him about the removal of Audrey's name from Worthington's register, euphemistically spoken, nor about her forthcoming return to L.A. or her stop-over in Capeside.

She felt bad for not telling him, but it wasn't as if she didn't tell him on purpose. As soon as the circumstances would allow, she would. Maybe even after their little impromptu party.

Knowing that Pacey wasn't really fond of somebody messing around with his cooking, Joey put the fine groceries in the refrigerator before heading up the spiral case. Living with two men in a shared apartment had taught her one or two things. One being the fact, that a little alone-time, preferably in a hot bubble bath, was hard to get and she wouldn't let this opportunity pass by.

  


~*~

  


Pacey felt totally drained and his eardrum was almost screaming back at him and all the people he had to talk with over the last two hours. Rich had been right, he was yelled at, sworn at and some simply slammed down their receiver, so hard that it reverberated in his auricle even minutes after he was already talking to the next customer.

It was late and the office was nearly deserted, except for himself, Becky and Rich. Casting a side glance at his watch, he inhaled sharply. Right then he should have been home, cooking and celebrating with Joey - only that there wasn't anything to celebrate anymore, at least not for him.

Sighing he pressed the call button on the intercom. "Who do we have left, Becky?"

Becky's voice was as tired as Pacey's as she replied promptly, "Just Dawson Leery. You want him?"

Although his face was already pale, he whitened even more. Burying his face in his hands, he tried to muster up the strength to deliver the horrible news to his childhood friend.

"Pacey? Do you want Mr. Leery now?" Becky asked again.

"Umm... no, thank you, Becky." Pacey cleared his throat, "I'll do that in a little while. Umm... why don't you call it a night? It's pretty late."

"Thank you, Mr. Witter. On a day like today it goes without saying that I'll stay as long as you need me." Instead of answering over the intercom, Becky had moved away from her desk and leaned against the doorframe.

"Thank you. I appreciate that a lot." Pacey looked up and forced a small smile on his face.

Becky nodded and started to turn around but hesitated. "You should go home, too. Tomorrow is a new day and today's losses will be almost forgotten."

"Yeah, right." Pacey leaned back in his chair. "After all... tomorrow is another day."

"Exactly," Becky smiled and added jokingly, "Miss Scarlett."

Pacey watched her retreat before gazing out into the evening's twilight. At least he could still quote famous movie lines. Thanks to Dawson. Dawson. Closing his eyes as he swiveled back in his chair, he reached for the phone. His hand hovered inches above the receiver. He just couldn't do it.

  


~*~

  


"Are you sure that it's okay that I'm joining you for dinner?" Jen asked carefully as she trapped the receiver between her shoulder and her ear.

"Duh! Of course." Joey rolled her eyes for good measure, despite the fact that Jen couldn't see her. "What kind of question is that? And I am inviting you, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but it is kinda late... and since you couldn't get a hold of me sooner... I mean, I wouldn't want to impose myself on you if you've already planned a dinner for three." Yawning a little Jen plopped down on her bed.

"Don't you worry about that... we haven't even started with the cooking," Joey muttered, checking the kitchen clock for the umpteenth time.

"Huh? What did you say?" Jen frowned. Maybe she was really too tired to hear properly... or maybe Joey was actually mumbling.

"Umm, well... Pacey isn't home yet and you know him... once he agrees to cook, there's no way anybody else is allowed into the kitchen, except if especially asked to assist. So in short... chances are you'll be here long before dinner's ready," Joey explained a little clearer.

"Okay, in that case!" Jen giggled, remembering the last time Grams dared to interfere with chef Pacey... it wasn't pretty.

Ignoring the fact that she was sick, something she insisted on herself, Pacey gave her a piece of his mind when he caught her adding some spices to his soup.

"C.J. is working at the center later so I guess I can get a lift over to you. Anything I could chip in?"

"Ummm..." Joey frowned, mentally checking the list Pacey gave her again. "No, I think we're settled. Just bring yourself."

"Okay, I can do that. Grams will go to bed in a little while anyway." Jen yawned again but sat up from her comfortable reclining position. "Oh, by the way... did you talk to Jack yet?"

"No. Nobody's home yet. Why?" Shifting on the barstool, Joey couldn't help a yawn of her own. It really was contagious and once started, it was extremely difficult to stop it.

"Uh, well... you know..." Jen stammered a little, suddenly not quite sure if Jack would like her blabbering.

"Oh, you mean because of his maybe-date with David?" Joey offered, remembering Jack mumbling something like this.

"Yeah, exactly. Could be a good sign, that he isn't home yet." Actually she wasn't convinced about that and it showed in her voice. Stretching once more, Jen lazily walked over to her closet and opened the doors. "So, if I'm supposed to get ready and go out, I should dress now. C.J. will be here soon."

"Okay. And on second thought...." Joey rubbed her temple, having a vague idea that the evening might not be as happy as she had planned it. "If you should happen to come across a grocery store or something like that, I mean, we're out of ice cream and maybe we'll need some."

Jen's face lit up with recognition as she raked through her clothes. "Chocolate Chip..."

"...Cookie Dough," Joey finished with a grin. It was amazing how well they knew each other by now.

  


~*~

  


Pacey stared at the telephone in front of him. It wasn't quite clear if he was trying to hypnotize it or if it was the other way round. A game of power where the goal was to see who would give in first. Had it been a question of who would blink first, the phone would have won long ago.

He knew that he was playing a weird version of the old hide-and-seek. He was hiding in his office, although he was visible to everyone who happened to walk by. Hiding from the real life that was just a phone call away.

His eyes almost hurt with the intense stare while his mind desperately tried to magically conjure a solution to this mess.

Maybe that was what was keeping him rooted in his uncomfortable position. Perhaps he should just sit there and wait - either until he did come up with a plan or, which was far more realistic, until it was way too late to call Dawson.

As handy cordless phones were in everyday life, Pacey was currently very taken with the neat, symmetrical curls of the phone cord. He had counted each and every whorl, he had twisted the black material around his finger, investigating how many "rings" he needed to cover his index finger completely. He was probably ready to write a thesis about the texture, structure and function of a telephone coil.

Pacey was so deeply absorbed into his procrastinating activities that it took several seconds before he realized that his phone was suddenly coming alive: it rang - loud and repetitive.

Recognizing the number in the display as the apartment's line, he finally answered. He knew it could only be Joey. "Hey."

"Hey?" Joey's voice sounded a little irritated. "Why are you still in the office?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah... ummm, see something came up and I..." Pacey's mind drew a total blank. He had absolutely no idea what to tell her. What could he tell her? That he lost most of his money? That he lost Dawson's money? That he was a stupid greenhorn in the stockbroker's world who had taken insane risks?

"So?" Joey frowned. There was something in his voice that had her worried.

"I'm sorry, but it's this Stepatech thing... I don't know when I'll be able to leave." That wasn't even a lie, not really at least.

“Again? I really hope it will be worth all the work you put in it." Joey sighed. She knew it was very important to Pacey to succeed and to do well in his job, but she prayed that this strenuous phase would be over soon.

"Uh-huh." Pacey tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"You sound tired, sweetheart," Joey stated, not at all angry anymore. "And not really in the mood for a... umm... party, right?"

Pacey sighed. He felt horrible. Joey had all the reasons to have fun and celebrate her exam and the end of the semester and he was dragging her down. He not only dragged her down, he let her down.

"No, not really..." He knew that he couldn't lie to her, and he would if he said he was in the mood. "But you know what, that doesn't matter. I'll have the whole way home to get in the mood. And I can vent my spleen on this with cooking, so don't worry." Maybe he even believed this himself.

"We don't have to do that today, Pace. It's not that important and there will be only Jen and Jack..." Joey tried to argue.

"Nah, I don't want to hear anything about that. And we do have a reason for it today: you aced your exam and that just calls for a party." At least this day or rather this evening had to be good for her, it just had to be. "Tell you what, I should be home in about... let's see... half an hour, okay?"

"Umm, okay... if you're sure..." Joey reluctantly gave in.

"Okay, later, sweetie." Pacey made an effort to sound confident. "Love you."

"Love you, too. Drive carefully." Joey tightened her grip on the phone, hoping to lose the bad feeling she felt developing.

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

After they hung up, both continued to stare at their respective phones. Something was wrong, Pacey knew it and Joey felt it.

  


~*~

  


"So? What did he say?" Jen asked, cocking her head to the side and watching Joey intensely.

"He'll be late..." Joey started to explain.

"He already _is_ late," Jack interrupted her pointedly. "And he didn't prepare anything for dinner yet. So that will be even later..."

"Do you always have to think about food?" Jen raised her brow, sending him a reproving look. "I'm sure you'll survive a late dinner."

"Uh-huh... and yes... I'm lovesick... food is the only thing that will cheer me up a bit." Jack continued to complain. Actually he did nothing besides that ever since Jen and he arrived at the apartment.

"I thought we'd already established that you have no reason to wallow in self-pity here, Jack." Jen kicked her shoes off, thinking that she might as well get settled a little more comfortably on the couch.

"Maybe, but what does that have to do with me being hungry?" Jack pointed out as he walked over to the kitchen area, looking for some chips.

Joey rolled her eyes and slumped down next to Jen. Regarding her two friends, her thoughts went back to Pacey. The bad feeling was still there and the bickering, no matter how good natured it was, caused her a headache.

"Since the party hasn't started yet, could we go back to my little disaster at hand?" Jack asked as he returned, placing himself right in between the girls.

"Damn, Jack!" Joey complained loudly, rubbing her upper arm where Jack's elbow had harshly cleaved itself a way.

"Ooops," Jack grinned, not at all apologetically.

"You know, you're entirely too happy for being lovesick. I think David does have a point when he says that only his heart will be broken, not yours." In a weird way Joey felt slightly better now that she could vent, even though this meant Jack had to suffer from her outburst.

The smile that had graced Jack's face just seconds ago slowly evaporated. Coughing uncomfortably he leaned back, his eyes darkened and his voice was tight when he finally spoke again.

"No, that's not true. Maybe it looks like I'm not being affected that much. But I am, believe me." Jack sighed and tilted his head to gaze at Joey. " _You_ , after all, should know that there are different ways to deal with the fact that your boyfriend broke up with you."

Joey lowered her eyes shamefully. "Yeah, but _you_ got a goodbye from David. That's more than what other people get."

"Oh please, guys." Jen threw her hands up, chiding them both. "Would you stop that? I can't believe this. You, Jack: We talked about that - epical, I might add. You don't have to find the love of your life as early as Miss Potter over here. You have no reason to think that you'd end up alone. And even if it does hurt for a while, David might be right, just as you might be right: deep down you're just not ready for a commitment like that."

Tilting her head to the side, she lectured Joey as well. "And you, Joey: So you're pissed that Pacey isn't home yet. Understandable. Not understandable on the other hand is, that you psyche out Jack. It's not his fault. It's probably not even Pacey's fault. Life sucks. Welcome to the club. And please, you two are so sickeningly happy with each other - stop bringing up your dirty linens from the past."

Exhaling exhaustedly, Jen crossed her hands in front of her chest. Why did she have to play psychiatrist all day long? Gratuitously, nevertheless.

  


~*~

  


_Round and round we go_

_It's just a another day_

_With trouble knocking at your door_

_Baby don't you know_

_We can work it out_

_'Cause we always seem to find a cure_

  


Feeling unable to do anything about the big, bad hole he had buried himself in, Pacey finally decided to really wait for the next day. Besides that, it was more than high time to get home. Snapping his briefcase closed, Pacey switched off the lights in his office and walked towards the foyer.

Obviously Rich had enough for the day as well, because he appeared from the opposite direction exactly at the same time.

For the last hour or so, Pacey had mulled over each possibility he could think of, that would help him, help Dawson. In the end, there was only one that promised the slightest chance of success.

Quickening his step he opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Rich raised his hand, waving in a declining way. "No, no. You're not gonna hold me up. I've got a hot date of my own tonight. I admit it. You shamed me, Witter. Now I gotta spend my nights keeping up with my friggin' protege!"

Despite everything else, Pacey involuntary grinned. Mr. Cool had a lot inferiority complexes and it was nice to see, that they were even bigger than his own.

"Okay, that's... great." Pacey hesitated, wringing his hands while he felt cold sweat creating goose bumps on his skin. "Ummm... I just... I want to ask you one thing before you go."

"As long as it doesn't involve me holding you while you cry." Rich rolled his eyes dramatically and placed his briefcase on the closest desk, draping his hands loosely over the handle.

It was annoying to see how relaxed he was, especially when Pacey was nothing but stressed. "I promise."

"What is it, kid?" Rich asked totally bored.

Just his arrogant behavior made Pacey question his idea. Suddenly it seemed like another stupid move, but at this point, he couldn't be picky anymore. It was the last straw, the very last.

"Well, I was just wondering... if maybe you could... could cover me? Loan me a little money?" At first he stuttered, but then he raced the words as fast as he could get them out.

"You're kidding, right?" Rich shook his head, laughing right into Pacey's face.

Pacey straightened, steeling himself for what was to come next. He didn't care that he might make a fool out of himself. He already was a fool. What did he have to lose then?

"No. I wish I was, but... you have no idea how hard it is for me to ask you for this, Rich, but a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, he came to me and he wanted to double his money really fast."

Rich sighed and studied his watch. It was late, he had a date and he really didn't want to listen to Pacey's whining.

Pacey ignored his boss's obvious lack of interest and continued, "Everything looked good until yesterday. He called and thought about cashing in and I told him that I invested all into Stepatech and asked if..."

"That was a stupid move, Pacey," Rich stated dryly, emotionless.

"I asked him to ride the thing out, to trust me... and this guy is my oldest and closest childhood friend. I cannot screw him like this, Rich." Pacey was desperate and tried to make Rich understand his dilemma, his need for help.

"It's already done, Pacey." Rich stared at him, laughing incredulously.

"No, I'm serious. All I want to do is give him back his initial investment. And then I'll pay you back with whatever interest you want," Pacey insisted, not ready to give up just yet. "You would love that, wouldn't you? Me being in your debt?"

"What about you? What happened to your disposable income?" It would have been wrong to deny that Rich felt sympathy for Pacey. And he was right, the idea of having him in his debt was tempting. But being a business man, he knew that some lessons had to be learned the hard way.

Lowering his head, not willing to see the malicious glee on Rich's face, Pacey mumbled, "I got almost nothing left myself. I invested mostly in Stepatech, then the car, the apartment..." He sighed, feeling even more like an idiot when he spoke it out loud. "In cash, I'm worth like... I don’t know, maybe three hundred bucks right now."

Rich pushed his briefcase around the desk, creating some room for him to sit down on the edge of the table. Crossing his arms, he gave Pacey a once-over-look, very similar to those your most hated teacher at school gave you, whenever you forgot to do your homework.

"You know, it's funny. You're so good at your job, you're so confident, I sometimes forget how young and stupid you are," he finally said sarcastically.

Pacey felt the slight tinge of a blush creep over his face. He was scolded, not really openly, but nevertheless Rich did reprimand him.

"Please, Rich, I need your help, not the speech right now, ok?" Pacey's voice was pleading and he hated himself for that.

"Oh, I think you do, actually." Rich nodded, again just like a teacher, or even worse, like a father.

Pacey cringed at the thought of his father. Just when they started to treat each other with something close to respect and familiarity, he screwed it all up again.

"And I'm gonna say to you what you should have told your little friend in the first place." Rich shifted and made eye contact with Pacey. One part of him was thinking that he was actually helping him, the other, maybe larger part was pleased to see him rock bottom. Stressing the monosyllabic word as best as he could, "No."

"That's it? That's all you have to say to me?" Pacey's eyes widened. It wasn't like he had expected a hug and an "Of course", but a big, flat out "no"?

Rejected and incredulous he had to make sure he understood him right. "I come to you, embarrass myself, and you're just gonna say no?"

Rich shrugged, confirming nonchalantly, "Pretty much, yeah."

It amazed him what a daydream believer Pacey suddenly seemed to be. He would have never picked him as a head-in-the-clouds man.

This wasn’t some Let's-play-house, or work for that matter, scenario, this was real life. Business life, where there was no room for romantic and knightly gestures, or even friendship.

Pacey chuckled helplessly and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You know, Rich, sometimes you're so good at your job I forget what an unfeeling prick you are."

The second the words left his mouth, he already regretted them. Rich was a prick, an ass, every nasty word that came to your mind, but thinking those insults were quite different from voicing them aloud.

Rich raised his brow warningly. "You work for me. I'm your boss. _You_ better watch your tone."

Pacey inhaled deeply, trying to control himself. He knew that he wasn't helping his case at all, but he just couldn't help himself.

"Ok, Rich, I'm sorry. I'm just asking you for this one favor! Just one time!" Now he was begging. Desperately invoking. Could he sink any lower than that? Probably not.

Rich licked his lips slowly and stood up. He remembered the morning's incident, all the times Pacey had bragged in front of him. He didn't even have to come up with a payback himself. It was all served on a silver platter.

"I...don't...do... favors, Witter," he almost spelled the words out for Pacey - and he enjoyed it.

"Why not? 'Cause god forbid you have to drop the Gordon Gekko routine for a second? I mean, this would be so easy for you, man. Just help me out here!" And yes, he could sink even lower than that.

Rich opened his jacket, putting his hands on his hips. "I don't believe this." He shook his head. Pacey was more than naive.

"Let¡'s get some things straight here, Witter. Just in case you didn't quite understand the concept of boss-employee-relationships." Rich waited until Pacey finally stared at him.

"We're not friends, not even close. We are not harboring any friendly relations towards each other, which might include some vague ideas of helping each other out with anything. Besides: Help you out?!" Rich burst into laughter.

" _I_ gave you a job, Witter! _I_ gave _you_ a chance to escape some bottom feeder existence, and every step of the way, _you_ have been a holier-than-thou pain in the ass. So you tell me... why should I help you out?" Rich's voice rose with each word until he was nearly yelling. "Simply said: Me boss - you, well... dirt under my shoes, a.k.a. employee."

Pacey balled his hands into fists, hurt and anger searing his veins. His emotions were obviously displayed in his features and fueled Rich's outburst even more.

"You know, if you ever really thought of being an adult, able to handle a job - any job? I'm afraid you might have been mistaken there. This day, these sorry pleas for help, prove nothing but the fact that you're a failure, Witter, and a loser."

Pacey's gaze shot up, his eyes flashing dangerously. Taking one step forward he felt his hands itch to deck his boss. Rich pulled the strings of each and all of his old and new insecurities perfectly. He was pushing him, trying to provoke him until he showed some kind of reaction. A reaction that confirmed his prior accusations, to confirm that he was a loser.

Rich smirked mockingly, waiting for Pacey's next move. A few weeks ago, he might have actually reacted accordingly to Rich's assumptions. He refrained himself from starting a fist fight only by a hairbreadth - and a blurry image of Joey, briefly appearing before his eyes.

Taking another step towards Rich, Pacey tapped lightly against the revere of his blazer, barely touching him, which cost him more strength than anything.

"You're not worth it, Rinaldi," he hissed through his teeth.

"Whatever." Rich grinned maliciously, mimicking Pacey's touch. "It's all over, Pacey. Don't worry. After tonight, after this..." he gesticulated impartially, indicating their previous conversation, and continued. "We can't allow such a disreputable behavior and I think our fragile relationship on top of that doesn't permit a further business association. Of course, your selling success equals zero, given the disastrous circumstances. So the firm will get over this tremendous loss pretty soon."

Rich inhaled, taking his sweet time before he finally took the cake by saying calmly, "You're fired, Pacey. That's what you wanted all along, anyway. I guess the silver slipper didn't fit you, huh?"

Pacey just stared at him, his face changing its color from an angry red to a scorching white. It would feel so good to smash his face in, but he couldn't do it, not anymore. He was past that premature display pattern of male prowess.

"Loser," Rich dismissed contemptuously and reached for his briefcase before strolling leisurely towards the glass door.

After opening it he turned around once more, sporting an arrogant smile and waved. "A bientot camarade."

It wasn't until the door fell shut behind Rich, that Pacey's shoulder slumped and a deep, sad sigh escaped his slightly parted lips.

One day and a few mistakes was all it took to bring each of his old fears and insecurities back to the surface. They were back full force although they had never really left him. They had simply been dormant.

  


~*~

  


_Seems like hard times come easy_

_We do a lot of hanging on these days_

_But the heart finds a reason_

_And love always seems to find a way_

_Even if it hurts_

_Even if it hurts you baby_

_Even if it hurts_

_Even if it hurts you baby_

_Yeah, yeah-yeah_

  


Jack munched the last piece of his extra large pizza, finally happy and content, at least as happy as he could be, considering the post-break-up situation. "Why didn't we have this wonderful idea hours ago?"

Jen shot daggers at him, before glancing warily back at Joey. "Are you sure you don't want at least one tiny bite?" she asked, presenting her still half filled plate to her.

"No, thank you. I'm... I'm not hungry at all." Joey forced a smile and looked briefly up before staring back at the digital VCR clock.

Pacey was still not home. The announced thirty minutes had long since passed and replaced by four more.

She had called the office... nothing. No response to his cell phone either. She was past the state of being angry and close to calling every hospital in Boston.

"It just isn't like Pacey to vanish without a trace," she muttered more to herself than to her friends, who heard her nevertheless.

"Umm... well..." Jen hummed and hawed uncomfortably. The memory of a summer stunt not so long ago suddenly almost tangible.

"No, that was different," Joey insisted, turning back around. "He has no reason...he's different... we're different."

"Okay, umm.. I'm just saying, that there will be a good explanation for his absence. I mean, you don't have to... you know, think that something happened to him." Jen bit on her tongue, not quite so sure about that.

"Yeah... yeah." Joey rested her chin on her knees, rolling herself up into a ball and directed her eyes back to the clock. The steady blinking of the colon that divided the hours from the minutes, sixty times a minute, had a hypnotizing effect on her.

She welcomed the calming, soothing feeling that overtakes you soon before sleep comes. The feeling where every fear ceases to exist.

  


~*~

  


Pacey stepped out of his car and hesitantly closed the door. He wasn't quite sure how he got there, or why, but there he was, back in Capeside.

Spurred on by his awakened demons he had turned the car around, as he was about to park in front of the apartment building. He didn't even call Joey or anybody else, he just drove without a stop until he found himself next to the Leery house.

It was dark, only one window was still lighted. Dawson's window.

Leaning back against the car he stared up at the warm, glowing rectangle. He imagined Dawson sitting at his desk, typing yet another version of their life at the creek. Or maybe he was watching one of the old movies, not a DVD, one of the worn tapes.

He knew he had to tell him and he knew he came there to do just yet. Only that he wasn't ready.

Calming himself by telling himself that it was way too late - or too early, depending on your point of view, and that he couldn't barge in with news like that, he finally climbed back into his car.

The faint interior lighting, activated when he opened the door, briefly illuminated the yellow shimmering book lying on the front passenger seat.

Pacey traced the black title carefully with his index finger, _Cliff Notes' Catch-22_.

Joey had probably forgotten it there when he drove her to Worthington that morning. Joey. Still running his hand over the smooth surface, Pacey wished there was an interpretation to help real life, too.

  


~*~

  


_Round and round we go_

_Sometimes it feels like_

_We're on a roller coaster ride_

_But baby don't you know_

_We'll keep holding on_

_Through the changes that we feel inside_

  


Joey yawned and stirred, feeling extremely stiff and tense. Opening her eyes she slowly realized that she was lying on the couch and that she was alone. She remembered vaguely that Jen and Jack disappeared shortly after midnight. Pacey still hadn't come home by then.

Stretching her numb limbs she sat up and stalled the urge to run up the stairs and check their room. Deep down she hoped Pacey would be there, snoring and sleeping. Rationally she already knew that she wouldn't find him. If he had come home, he would have woken her, or carried her to their bed.

Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth she climbed the stairs and opened the door to their room. It was cold, dark and empty. Nobody had been there and fear mixed with anger and loneliness constricted her heart. Even breathing became painful.

  


~*~

  


"I'm sorry, Miss Potter. Pacey didn't show up for work this morning," Becky replied with a worried undertone.

"Oh." Joey blinked away the tears that formed in her eyes.

Biting her nails she had waited until the office opened and called Pacey's number as soon as she could assume that his secretary would be there.

"I'm not sure if that means anything, but rumor has it, that there was some kind of fall out between Mr. Rinaldi and Pacey last night." Becky hastily let her eyes wander around to check if anybody was in earshot. "The men are talking about it and that one of the security guys showed them a tape."

"A fall out?" Joey frowned, trying to put the pieces of the mysterious puzzle together.

"Yeah, and I can't say that it would surprise me, really. Especially after what happened yesterday. That just called for tension," Becky explained.

"Umm, what do you mean? What happened yesterday?" Joey sat down as unidentifiable cramps racked her stomach.

"You didn't hear about it?" Becky was surprised.

"No. We met for a late lunch and..." Joey defended herself.

"Ah, okay. Well, around three p.m. the FDA announced their ruling on Stepatech... they rejected it."

Joey closed her eyes. Right then everything started to make sense. Pacey's overtime, his strange mood, the quarrel at the office.

"You don't think something happened to him, do you?" Becky asked concerned.

"No, I don't..." Joey silently prayed that she really had no reason to think that. "Can you call me in case he does come in?"

"Of course. I'm sure he will be home soon." Becky weakly attempted to calm Joey.

"Yeah. Thank you. Bye." Not waiting for the secretary's goodbye, Joey hung up.

All kinds of thoughts were running through her mind and her eyes wandered restlessly around the room until they rested on their photo. She knew what Pacey was doing, at least she hoped so. He was running - and if she knew him as well as she was convinced she did, then there was only one place where he could be.

Reaching for the discarded phone again, she dialed the familiar number and waited.

 

  


_Seems like hard times come easy_  
_We do a lot of hanging on these days_  
 _But the heart finds a reason_  
 _And love always seems to find a way_

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics taken from 'Hard Times Come Easy' by Richie Sambora


	8. Tears All Over Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fa·ta mor·ga·na
> 
> Pronunciation: "fä-t&-mor-'gä-n&, -'ga-  
> Function: noun  
> Etymology: Italian, literally, Morgan le Fay (sorceress of Arthurian legend)  
> confer: MIRAGE
> 
> Main Entry: mi·rage
> 
> Pronunciation: m&-'räzh
> 
> Function: noun
> 
> Etymology: French, from mirer to look at, from Latin mirari
> 
> 1 : an optical effect that is sometimes seen at sea, in the desert, or over a hot pavement, that may have the appearance of a pool of water or a mirror in which distant objects are seen inverted, and that is caused by the bending or reflection of rays of light by a layer of heated air of varying density  
> 2 : something illusory and unattainable like a mirage

## Chapter 8 ~ Tears All Over Town

 

 _And these tears all over town_  
_Too many tears all over this town_  
 _Tears all over town_  
 _Too many tears all over this town_  
 _Too many tears_  
 _Too many tears..._

 

The train ride protracted endlessly or at least it seemed like it. Joey occupied a window seat and stared blindly at the landscape that was rushing by, morphing into a colorful blur, but she didn’t care nor even actually see it. Her mind was too preoccupied with so many things, that she couldn’t appreciate the beauty of the Cape’s late spring / early summer hues.

Ninety minutes of monotonous humming of the train engine nearly lulled her back into sleep and she was still so deeply into thoughts that she almost missed getting out at her stop.

Despite the fact that there should be a law for weather reflecting your mood, the sun was shining brilliantly and a nice, soft breeze wafted upcountry from the sea. Joey squinted and used her hand to shade her eyes. Since she wasn’t living in Capeside anymore, she relished in the fresh air and the whole atmosphere. Maybe her absence enabled her to perceive everything from a tourist’s point of view.

Scanning the relatively deserted parking lot, she caught sight of his familiar stature and if he hadn’t worn sunglasses, she would’ve been able to see his all too familiar eyes as well.

Waving, Joey hurried towards him and was greeted with a warm hug. She returned the embrace and exhaled. It was amazing, but she instantly felt better. It had to be in the genes.

“Hi, Joey.”

“Hey, Doug.” Joey stepped back and looked up, smiling just a little.

 

~*~

 

Pacey stared at his reflection in the fogged over mirror. What he saw wasn’t pretty, although he felt slightly better after the hot shower.

His eyes were tired and dark rings adorned them. Maybe he was too old to spend a night on a couch, but maybe the eyes actually were mirrors of one’s soul.

He hadn’t shaved and didn’t bother to change that. “See, buddy... you eventually broke your winning streak after all,” he muttered morosely, remembering the conversation back in the K-mart.

 

“ _Pacey. It's a beard. It'll grow back. Not that it should. What's the big deal, anyway?”_

“ _Well, you know how ballplayers don't change their socks during a winning streak?”_

“ _No.”_

“ _Ok, well, they don't because they respect the streak.”_

“ _And you perceive yourself as being on some sort of winning streak.”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Caused by that thing on your face.”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Fine. I give up.”_

“ _You give up? You're giving up that easily?”_

“ _Yeah. If it means that much to you, Pacey. I mean, I have no desire to monkey with some centuries-old sports tradition. I wouldn't want you to lose the... triple crown or whatever. I just wanted to see your face again. Is that a crime?”_

“ _No. So that's it... end of story. It's just that easy.”_

“ _Yeah. But you are gonna have to change your socks.”_

 

How did he get from there to the present, godforsaken situation? Right, he let her shave him. How could he ever forget that? But he didn’t regret it. Not one bit and that was the weirdest part.

Wouldn’t it be great to blame everything on the loss of his beard? A scapegoat that wouldn’t mind being found guilty for everything that happened? Of course this was way too easy, not to mention superstitious.

Sighing, he rubbed his scruffy chin, still staring into the mirror.

It seemed as if this was developing into a serious dysfunction of his body: lately he tended to keep being rooted to a spot, unable to move, no matter into which direction.

Earlier that morning, when Doug had left for work, he simply returned to the couch, not knowing what to do with himself and feeling that he still wasn’t ready to face Dawson. Doug’s lecture didn’t help either, especially not the part where he reminded him of Joey and how crazy with fear she had to be, since he was too skittish to just call her.

Oh yeah, running without running was a comfortable thing and sleep was a blessing, a mercy that pretended that everything was okay as long as he kept his eyes closed.

Unfortunately his eyes were open now and the broad daylight, permeating through Doug’s notorious cleaner than clean windowpanes felt like a spotlight, luring him to finally get up and do something.

 

~*~

 

“How is he?” Joey asked, glancing briefly at Doug before turning her eyes back to the road in front of them.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t even know what exactly happened,” Doug replied, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.

“Welcome to the club,” Joey muttered and propped her elbow against the window frame, resting her chin on her fist. Very much like the last tense car trip with another Witter so long ago.

“Huh?” Doug cast a quick side glance at his front seat passenger.

“I don’t know either.” Joey sighed, meeting Doug’s inquiring eyes for a split second. “Not really, though.” It was definitely in the genes.

“But you know more than you’re telling me,” Doug groused. “You know, as much as I merge into this questionable position of a big brother, where various siblings appear out of nowhere, nursing their latest wounds, inflicted by whatever, because that’s exactly where they leave me hanging. I’m good enough for a free place to crash whenever the need arises, but I’m apparently not trustworthy when it comes to talking about problems.”

Doug was really angry and hurt, which Joey could understand very well. She felt the same, maybe even more so. Being left out by the one you loved was the worst thing that could happen to you. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Not exactly and he didn’t talk much at all.” Doug frowned, it seemed there was a lot more behind the surface than he had imagined.

“I only have some small hints as to what has happened,” Joey offered. “Seeing that he didn’t talk to me either... I didn’t even know where he was, where he spent the night... if...” Joey sighed, turning away, not wanting Doug to see the frustrated tears in her eyes.

“I know, I’m sorry. Maybe we can try and put the various pieces together on our way home to the obnoxious person we still love?” Doug suggested.

Joey nodded and started to tell the part she knew about.

“Okay, so I guess it’s fair to assume that my little brother had some sort of fight or argument with his boss and then decided to drive down here? I thought he had reached a point where he would stop acting like this.” Doug parked his squad car in front of the apartment building.

“Yeah, but old habits die hard. Believe me.” Joey shifted in her seat and gazed up to the windows of Doug’s apartment. It had been a long time since her last visit yet everything looked the same.

Doug considered this a moment and finally turned toward her. “Anyway. I don’t get why he came _here_. Having trouble with the job? Okay, but how does it help to be in Capeside. Moreover, shouldn’t he be working?”

“What _did_ he tell you?” Joey asked again.

“He showed up around... well, I’m not sure, after eleven p.m. and simply asked to crash on the couch. Granted, I was tired and not exactly in the mood to deal with my brother’s odd tempers or ideas. So I didn’t really grill him about it. He said he had some things to iron out.”

“That’s what I thought...” a deep and exhausted sigh escaped Joey’s mouth as she lowered her head.

“Meaning?” Doug’s fingertips drummed impatiently against the steering wheel.

“Umm...” Joey stalled, not sure if she should voice her apprehension or not.

“Please, I won’t run up there and rub it under his nose that I know about... whatever it is. You know that, don’t you?” Doug shook his head, feeling almost offended that neither Joey nor his brother seemed to trust him.

“I do... I just... okay, well... Dawson asked Pacey to invest money for him...a lot of money,” Joey explained slowly, worrying her lower lip.

“Oh.” Doug inhaled, a deep frown appearing on his forehead. “So you think that...” instead of completing the sentence he squinted his eyes, silently asking for her confirmation.

“That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?”

Two pairs of wary eyes drifted away from each other and up the facade of the building.

 

~*~

 

Somehow Pacey had expected Capeside to be different, to reflect the ultimate catastrophe that was hovering invisibly over the town or at least a kind of foreboding, a dark cloud, people staring at him, pointing their fingers at him, but nothing.

Once he finally found the energy to get up and face the world, or the music, whatever came first, he scuffled slowly in the general direction of the Leery home. Very general though, because he ended up in front of Leery’s Fresh Fish. Well, it was the right name after all. He just needed to work on his internal navigation skills.

Lingering near the entrance, Pacey absent-mindedly ran his fingertips along the wooden rail that separated the outdoor dining area from the sidewalk. Only a few people enjoyed their lunch on the patio and it seemed to be pretty quiet. Something that would change as soon as the waves of tourists rolled in.

His feet moved him inside before he realized it and before he could consider suffering from some wicked kind of masochism.

A quick glance through the dining room transpired that neither Dawson nor Gale were around and Pacey relaxed visibly. Hesitating briefly, his eyes darted around and finally settled on the bar. Why did a drink sound so good right then?

 

~*~

 

Plucking the umpteenth napkin into tiny scraps Pacey nursed his second or third drink and stared into thin air. He wasn’t any closer to any idea of how to tell Dawson than he had been the day before.

Audrey pushed the door open and breezed inside, positively sure that it was she who was late this time. Instead of the person she thought to find there, she beheld a certain brunette bumming around at the bar.

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she gasped and exclaimed, “Oh... my... god... My ex-boyfriend is a day drinker. Life is clearly bleak without me!”

Pacey’s head whipped around at the familiar sound of her voice. “Audrey?”

“The one and only.” Audrey grinned and slid on the stool next to Pacey. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Pacey frowned, maybe there had been something in his drink he didn’t know about. “Ahh... hi... _what_ are _you_ doing here?

“Well, what are _you_ doing here?” Audrey grinned and cocked her head to the side.

Pacey sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m so not in the mood for playing this game.”

“Fine then,” Audrey mocked, nervously wringing her hands together. “So Joey didn’t tell you?”

Pacey instantly felt a feverish twinge in his heart as he heard Joey’s name. Raising his eyes again to study Audrey, he didn’t reply.

“I take that as a no, right?” Audrey sighed. “To make a long, sad story short: I reacted a little defiantly when the dean wanted to talk to me about the... ummm... time I missed while being in rehab and now I’m expelled. I’ll go back to L.A. but I, well... I made a stopover here first.” Her words almost chased themselves in the futile attempt to get everything out and done without having to listen to yet another lecture.

“Expelled?” Somehow this had alerted his attention despite the numb feeling of still being surrounded by fog, very similar to the state you’re in when you’re dreaming and you desperately try to wake yourself.

“Yeah, no biggie,” Audrey shrugged it off with a bored wave of her hand.

“No biggie? Aud...” Pacey was wide awake now. He couldn’t have heard her right, could he? Giving up her education had to be a joke.

“No, really. I’m happy to go back home, especially since, well... you know...damn, why didn’t she tell you?” Audrey sighed again.

“Tell me what?” Pacey frowned, totally confused. All this information was way too much to digest and he wasn’t sure if he could deal with any more.

“That I’m with...”

“Pacey, what are you doing here?” Dawson suddenly stepped up next to them, briefly directing his surprise at Pacey before pressing a light kiss against Audrey’s temple. “Sorry for being late again, but this Capeside model is driving me crazy.”

Pacey’s eyes widened as he realized the obvious romantic entanglement between Dawson and Audrey. It shouldn’t surprise him, considering the sort of incestuous history of their group, but at that moment it was just another thing being thrown at him, another thing prone to dragging him down.

Audrey smiled uncomfortably, noticing the surprise washing over Pacey’s face and something darker, too. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“So, Pacey... what brought you down here?” Dawson kept his arm around Audrey’s shoulder. “Is Joey here, too?”

There was the fierce pang again but now it was mixed with a hint of doubt as to why Joey didn’t tell him about Audrey and Dawson. Did she have regrets? Was she angry? Whatever it was, it would fit into his downward spiral.

“Umm, no, she’s not.” Pacey cleared his throat, unable to look at Dawson directly. “I’m on a... spontaneous visit to Doug.”

“Ah, nice. Well, since you’re here, I have something to show you,” Dawson beamed. “What do you think about dinner at my house later?”

“Huh?” Pacey squinted and directed his gaze warily back at the couple in front of him.

“Dinner. At my house. Later,” Dawson replied slowly. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Yeah, sounds... good. I, well, I kind of have to tell you something, too,” Pacey gave up. That was what he came to Capeside for in the first place, wasn’t it?

“Great. Too bad that Joey isn’t here. It would have been a nice chance for a farewell dinner before Aud and I head back to L.A.” Dawson tightened his embrace on Audrey. Somehow he was surprised at the lack of interest in their new relationship and he couldn’t help but wonder if Pacey was really that nonchalant about them as he was displaying. “Or... we could have lunch together right now plus dinner tonight,” he suggested enthusiastically.

“Umm, thanks, man... but I have...some things to do,” Pacey declined distractedly. He wasn’t ready yet, not ready to tell Dawson that all his high flying plans could be thrown out of the window because of his inability, and not ready to face the fact that Audrey and Dawson were a couple either.

It wasn’t like this fact was exactly what was disturbing him that much, well, yes... it did. Like it would always disturb him whenever one of his ex-girlfriends would have a new partner. But what was really burning inside of his brain was the question why Joey hadn’t told him.

“Ah, okay.” Dawson’s voice was disappointed and Pacey was once again reminded that Dawson had problems with accepting that not everything in the real world revolved around him.

“Yeah, so... see you later guys.” Pacey stood up and placed some dollar bills on the bar to cover his drinks.

“Later.” Dawson nodded and turned to the bartender, ordering coffee for Audrey and himself.

“Are you really okay?” Audrey whispered, grabbing Pacey’s wrist as he walked past her. She gazed back at his empty glass, before studying his expression again.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Pacey sighed. He just wanted to leave, but that was rather difficult with Audrey attached to his arm.

“It’s not like you to be drinking...” she couldn’t finish her sentence as Pacey interjected quickly.

“Water? You know, Aud, shouldn’t you be avoiding places like this in the first place?” So maybe that was out of line, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Maybe.” Audrey’s face became hard and defiant. “But I have learned my lessons. You can’t hide from your problems forever... and I know you well enough to see that you’re doing just that right now. A quick trip to visit your brother? Please. You’re a little too hardcore to skip work just like that.” She snipped her free hand right before his eyes. “And Joey? Wouldn’t she be here, if you were _not_ hiding? I bet she doesn’t even know that you’re here.”

“Like I didn’t know you were here _and_ with Dawson. Funny, somehow everything comes back to Dawson,” Pacey retorted bitterly.

“Probably because you are always bringing it back to him yourself. You know, therapy works wonders. You should try it one day.”

“Whatever. See you later.” Her comments hit way too close to home for comfort.

Without a glance back at them, Pacey finally managed to loosen Audrey’s grip on his wrist and left the restaurant. The sunlight was blinding him and he had to squint. Time was running out and he knew only one place where he could possibly calm down enough to be able to think about how he was to deliver the bad information to Dawson.

Audrey stared after him. He never answered her question and she started to worry about him. Contemplating if she should call Joey or not, she rummaged through her handbag in search of her cell phone.

Once she found it and was about to speed dial Joey’s number, Dawson hoisted himself up on the stool Pacey had vacated moments before. He glanced from the silvery phone in her hand back to her eyes. The question, though unspoken, clearly written over his face.

Swallowing unnoticeably Audrey flipped the phone shut and let it glide back into the depth of her bag. “Just checking my messages.”

 

~*~

 

“I really thought he’d still be here.” Doug shrugged helplessly. “When I left, he returned to the couch and stared at some obscure TV shopping show.”

“Uh-huh,” Joey mumbled as she slowly sank down on the couch. Pacey had simply left his bed for the night like it was, unmade, sloppily... but most important a sign that he had been there. Not that she didn’t believe Doug, but sitting there and being surrounded buy things that just recently were surrounding Pacey made her feel a little safer.

“And... umm..” Doug scratched his head uncomfortably, “I’m sorry, but I really have to get back to work. Dad will corner me about leaving while on duty anyway.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll try my luck and walk around a little... maybe I’ll go and say hi to my sister,” Joey announced but made no attempts of getting ready to get up from the couch.

“Okay... here, a third set of keys... just in case, okay?” Doug offered, dangling keys on a blue chain before her eyes.

“Oh, yeah... thank you.” Joey grabbed them and offered him a small smile.

“He might even come back any minute. His car is still here.” Doug was stalling as well, torn between trying to find his brother and his sense of duty.

“Right. Well, you know... you can go, really. Don’t worry. It’s enough that you picked me up at the station.” Joey pushed her hair back, eyeing Doug carefully. Those Witter brothers were so similar, in certain ways at least and right then, she knew that Doug was berating himself for having left Pacey by himself that morning.

“Yes, right.” Sighing Doug relented and walked towards the door. “Anytime... and good luck... you’ll...”

“I’ll call, yes.” Offering another smile she watched as Doug finally closed the door behind himself.

Relaxing against the back of the couch for a moment, Joey closed her eyes. The long night was growing on her and she had to keep her thoughts straight. “Where are you, Pacey?” she mumbled and reached for his shirt that was piled on top of the cushion to her left.

Burying her nose in the soft cotton and catching a faint remnant of Pacey’s very own scent she suddenly knew where to start looking first.

 

~*~

 

It was still early in the season and the mass of tourists hadn’t swept over Capeside yet. During the morning hours, when most residents were working, the marina was almost deserted, with the exception of some older skippers who were enjoying their pensioner’s life on their boats.

It promised to be a wonderful day for a sailing trip and Pacey wished more than anything that he... that they still had True Love.

Just like during their senior year in high school he had felt drawn to the docks again. The soft sloshing of the waves, mixed with cries of various seabirds and the faint jingle of ships’ bells always had a calming effect on him.

Unconsciously he had selected the very same bench where he had bared his scholastic problems to Joey. Of course, this wasn’t surprising at all, seeing that it was the bench closest to the slip he used most of the time to dock True Love. It was a little bit away from the main area and closer to the guest slips. Most members didn’t like it because it wasn’t as convenient and they also preferred being apart from the guests.

As much as Capeside thrived from the summer tourists, they hated them in equal measures. A love/hate relationship that any town on the Cape could relate to. They needed them for business, for money, but they didn’t want to be mixed with them. Maybe it was pride, maybe stubbornness.

Leaning back and staring out at the sea, Pacey desperately tried to find the answers he was seeking, only that there seemed to be none.

Joey was a little breathless as she reached the docks. She couldn’t help but run after her intuition had guided her there. It was somewhat disturbing that she was always running to the marina in situations like these. Desperation so prominently written over her face.

Stopping to catch her breath, she held her side, the stitches telling her that she wasn’t used to all the running anymore – or maybe she was getting old.

Despite her attempt at resting, her eyes scanned the docks and although it was too far away to be really sure, she could make out a lone figure on a bench. Sighing with satisfaction she slowly moved into that direction.

“Barnacle for your thoughts?” she offered to make her presence known once she was close enough to be in his earshot.

Pacey whipped around, totally surprised to hear Joey’s voice. His eyes were wide as he stared at her like a fata morgana.

“You’re not liking me so much right now, are you?” he asked as he finally found his voice. Maybe a repetition of a talk in the past would help to break the ice, especially since it took place exactly at the same spot.

“Not so much, no,” Joey replied and sat down next to him.

Both fell silent again, both waiting for the other to start, both feeling that the other owed it to them. A few minutes passed by until both raised their heads and their eyes met.

“Don’t you dare do that to me again,” Joey whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her.

She knew they had to talk, but that could wait for a second or two. Right then she needed the tangible proof that he was sitting next to her, that he was alive. Kicking his ass and giving him a piece of her mind for letting her go through a night like the one before would come after that.

Pacey hesitated briefly, still feeling the slight pain of insecurity that resurfaced upon the knowledge that she didn’t tell him about Dawson and Audrey’s new union, plus the even bigger anguish for having proved to be a loser yet again. His faltering lasted but only the fraction of a second before his heart took over and his arms went around her, hugging her tightly to his body. His left hand naturally found its way into her hair, burying his fingers in the silky tresses while his right arm encircled her waist.

Another couple of minutes passed by in which they simply held each other before Joey suddenly drew back, pushing her hands against his chest.

“What on earth were you thinking? Not coming home without a word, a call? I was out of my mind,” she tried to keep herself together, but her voice betrayed her and got louder with every syllable.

Pacey cleared his throat and allowing her to land a few blows he was sure he deserved before covering her hands with his own and thus fending off any further slaps. “I guess I wasn’t thinking... relapsing into my good old ‘act first, think later’ pattern.”

“I thought we were past that. I thought you knew that... that you can trust me with everything,” Joey muttered dejectedly. “I thought at least you’d tell me your reasons for acting like you did, not just exerting your old good-for-all-excuse.”

“Yeah, and I thought we were done with keeping secrets, too.” Pacey was still holding her hands and although they started to get to the difficult part of the conversation, he didn’t let go.

He felt her tense up at his remark, but she didn’t flinch either.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joey frowned, too stunned to be angry about his accusation yet.

“Let’s just say I accidentally ran into Audrey...” Pacey paused and watched her as realization set in, watched as she inhaled sharply and exhaled a shaky breath. “...and Dawson.”

“Oh...about that...” Joey licked her lip, trying to explain, but Pacey interrupted her.

“Yeah, about that. Why didn’t you _tell_ me about _that_? If we are to discuss things.”

“That has absolutely nothing to...” Joey scowled.

“Au contraire, I’d say that has as much to do with it. See, I know that I was wrong, but I’m not the only one who fell back into old habits,” Pacey argued.

“That’s were you’re wrong.” Joey retracted her hands and folded her arms defensively in front of her chest.

“Am I? Then tell me you didn’t keep it quiet because you don’t approve of them being together.” Pacey mimicked her pose.

“Oh please,” Joey snorted. “You should know me better than that. Do I have to remind you _how_ I reacted when you told me about you and Audrey?”

“Umm... yeah, right... see, I always wondered why you gave us your blessing so easily back then.” Pacey cringed at his own words .

“Now you’re pushing it, Witter. You don’t want to go there, believe me.” Joey narrowed her eyes at him and if she hadn’t known what was really bothering him, she wouldn’t have been as calm anymore.

“Okay, I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”

“You bet it was.” Shaking her head she tried to focus again. “Once and for all, Pacey, I don’t care if Dawson is in a relationship or with whom he is with. And Audrey? You know, I think she’ll be good for him.”

Pacey opened his mouth, trying to say something, but she silenced him with a glare and wave of her hand.

“No, now it’s my turn. And why haven’t I told you about them yet? Have you ever stopped to think about when I should have done that? I’ve known it only for a couple of days myself and you weren’t exactly present, where you?” Joey asked pointedly, using the rhetorical question to take a deep breath. “You worked overtime at the firm, you left in the morning with barely a ‘Good morning’ and then... well, you decided to go MIA until now.”

Pacey lowered his gaze. Of course she had a point or two there, no, not just that, she was right and he was being an ass. Talking about relapsing into old patterns. The hole he had digged up for himself was getting bigger and bigger.

“Yeah, that...ummm... yeah, okay. I’m sorry. So ... you’d have told me... eventually?” he tried to steer away from his being-a-jerk-route.

“Yes, I would... doofus.” Joey’s temper ebbed away and her tone turned softer again. “You know that I love you, Pacey. You and nobody else.” Scooting a little closer to him again, she cradled his face, that he still kept bowed, and gently forced him to look at her. “Now tell me what happened at the firm yesterday.”

Pacey stared at her, shock evident in his overshadowed eyes. Something in her voice, the way she acted and how she looked at him, told him that she already knew a good deal. “You... ummm... you know... something?”

“I talked to Becky this morning, so yes. I know about Stepatech’s failure and I know about some kind of quarrel between you and Rich. But I want... I need _you_ to tell me what’s going on. Why you felt like running instead of coming to me.”

Joey continued to caress his cheek with her thumb until he raised his hands, circling her wrists lightly and leaning his head tiredly against her palm. Taking a deep breath Pacey kissed her soft skin before lacing his fingers through hers and raising his head.

“I messed up, Jo, big time.” Shaking his head dejectedly he lowered his eyes again, unable to abide the disappointment he was sure to find in hers.

Joey’s heart ached as she saw how afflicted he was. She wanted to comfort to him, to tell him that no matter what it was, it would be all better soon, that she was there for him, but how could she do that when he didn’t open up towards her. At this point she had only the hear-say information and her own assumptions. Waiting a few heartbeats for him to continue, she eventually settled for squeezing his hand assuringly and brought her free left hand up to his neck again, placing a light kiss on his forehead.

The corners of Pacey’s mouth slightly curled up into a thankful smile but he still couldn’t bring himself to look at her directly.

“Umm... so, what Becky told you is right. Stepatech didn’t get approved and the stock fell to an abyssal low. I lost money, Jo. A lot of money. Money of my clients, my own...” Pacey’s shoulders slumped even more and his voice was barely a whisper as he enumerated his failures. “...Dawson’s money. It’s gone, all gone and it’s my fault.”

“Pace...” Joey shook her head softly. She had expected this and she could understand that he was beating himself up for losing Dawson’s money, but she couldn’t understand why he didn’t recognize that this wasn’t his fault, not really at least. “This is bad, it is, but... that’s the stock business.”

“Why does everybody tell me that?” Pacey snapped. “Yeah, so that’s business and maybe it is for most of my clients, but Dawson? He called me shortly before this and he wanted to sell and I, _I_ , Joey, asked him to sit it out in order to get as much money out of his investment as possible and now he won’t even get back what he put into it.”

Joey ran her left hand soothingly up and down his arm, not reacting to his outburst but trying to bring him back down.

“Remember when Dawson came to you first, asking you to invest his money? Back then you said you’d treat him just like any other customer, right?”

“Yeah, but you know that he never really was like anybody else,” Pacey mumbled.

Joey nodded, fully understanding that they were not just talking about Dawson as a business partner. Putting her index finger under his chin, she lifted his face to her until he couldn’t avert his eyes from her.

“Maybe it’s time to realize that he really is like anybody else. Like any other customer and like any other friend. Granted, a friend we’ve known for most of our life, but in the end... he has no elevated position and neither of us has anything to prove to him.”

Pacey blinked, not quite knowing what to say, if there was anything to say.

Joey smiled. It was confusing, the realization had hit her only moments ago, so she would grant him a few moments to collect himself. Touching the tip of her nose to his, she confirmed again, “I mean that, sweetheart.”

As she still didn’t receive an answer she simply brushed her lips over Pacey’s and immediately felt him not only reciprocate, but deepening their kiss.

 

” _How did it make you feel?”_

“ _Made me feel alive.”_

 

It was so easy to lose himself in their kisses, so easy to forget the rest of the world and for a little while he indulged in the luxury of this exquisite feeling of being all alone with her and far away from everything that happened in the reality. They weren’t done yet though and knowing that, Pacey reluctantly drew back and rested his forehead against hers.

As brief as their affectionate exchange had been compared to the conversation they still had to finish, he felt strengthened just by knowing that she was still there with him.

“That’s... umm... not all,” he sighed. “That quarrel with Rich? Well, I asked him for some money, I mean to borrow some from him so that I could give Dawson at least his initial sum back. And ... that didn’t go over so well with him and one word gave the other...” Pacey closed his eyes. “He fired me, Jo.”

“Oh...” Joey frowned and chewed the inside of her cheek. _This_ was news to her and she didn’t expect this turn at all.

“Yeah...”

“Well...” Joey cleared her throat, searching for something to say that made him feel better, but she knew how much this job meant to him, which didn’t make it any easier. “Maybe he was just in a bad mood and didn’t really mean it.”

“Oh believe me, Rich did mean it.” Pacey chuckled humorlessly.

“Okay, but if you talk with him, now... after both of you have cooled down. You’re good at your job, too good for him to just let you go,” she tried again.

“No. I appreciate the effort, but it’s over Joey. Rich made that pretty clear last night. Let’s see, what did he say? Yeah, right, I’m a loser. That’s what he said,” Pacey dismissed bitterly.

“You know that you’re not a loser, Pacey.” Joey intensified the squeeze on his hand, needing him to feel her support physically as well.

Pacey gave a short laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“Don’t do that, Pace. Don’t go back and give in to your old insecurities. Look how far you’ve come, what you’ve achieved since high school. And you did all of that on your own.” Joey wasn’t far away from shaking some sense into him. “Don’t hide your light under a bushel, Pace.”

“Why would I? It’s not like it’s that bright anyway,” he turned his face away from her, gazing back to the sea.

“Oh for crying out loud. Stop it!” Joe’s voice rose again with frustration. “You’re a great stock broker. Okay, you made a mistake, but you’re not the only one. Even Rich believed in Stepatech. The stock business is a constant roller coaster ride. Up and down and up and down. And if I’m not mistaken, that’s exactly what fascinates you so much. You love the tension and the rush of adrenalin when you pick the right choice.”

“It was okay as long as it lasted.” Pacey shrugged, still avoiding her eyes.

“Pacey! Okay, so Rich fired you. So what? You don’t even like him particularly and there are so many other stock broker firms out there, who would kill for having you.” Joey sighed exhaustedly.

“I envy your ability to be so optimistic.” Pacey rubbed the bridge of his nose. Joey’s immense trust in his abilities made him feel slightly uncomfortable. It seemed like he couldn’t fail in her eyes, even though that was exactly what made him afraid of being bound to disappoint her.

“I’ll still be damned if I let your insecurities shake us, Pacey.” Joey exhaled audibly and added in a hushed whisper, “Why didn’t you come home?”

“I...umm...” Pacey tried to blink the ashamed tears away that were collecting in his eyes. Ashamed that he didn’t go home, that he caused Joey pain and ashamed of acting like the loser Rich had claimed him to be. “I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

“I’ll never feel sorry for you, Pace. I _feel_ for you.” Joey wiped the single tear that escaped Pacey’s eye away with her thump, letting her palm linger on his cheek as he sighed. “God, can’t you ever tell the difference?”

“I’m sorry, Jo.” Pacey pressed his lips together, feeling totally like an idiot.

“I know...” Joey continued to stroke his cheek and kissed his temple. “You know, a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. And that’s true for almost anything. You’re not alone, Pacey. You have me and I’m there for you. We might not have exchanged those heavy words, pregnant with meaning,” she paused. “We didn’t say in good or in bad times, but that’s what I feel. What kind of relationship would we have if we were only in for the sunny, happy days? You've been there for me in my worst times. Why can’t you let me be there for you?”

“Jo... I know that, but I never wanted to... hold you back, to drag you down...”

“You’re not doing that, Pacey. Not at all. And it’s not only me who’s there for you. Your friends are, too, your brother and believe it or not, your whole family.”

Pacey coughed, “I’m stupid, huh?”

“Nah, you’re still emotionally retarded... but we’re working on that.” Joey smiled her famous half smile.

 

~*~

 

“Yes, I found him, Doug. Actually... we’re back at your apartment for a little while and then we’ll go and see Dawson.” Joey leaned against the wall and stared out of the window while talking to Doug, clutching her cell phone with her right hand.

“So, was... is it about the money?” Doug broached the subject again, but sighed with relief that his baby brother was back were he belonged.

“Yeah, that and... well, there’s something else related to that, but I think you should talk about that with Pacey directly.” Joey played with the tips of her hair, unconsciously examining the number of spliced ends.

“Yeah, maybe. So how’s he doing?” Doug shifted in his car seat, again concentrating more on Pacey than on his job.

“Better, I think, but he’s still down. More so since we still have to fill Dawson in,” Joey sighed. She was so not looking forward to that, but she wouldn’t let Pacey go all alone either.

“Yeah. He shouldn’t have mixed private life with business. Nothing good ever comes from it.”

“I know.” Joey heard Pacey turn off the shower and checked her watch. “Well, we’ve got to go in a few minutes. See you later?”

“Depends on where you’re staying?” Doug scratched his head, silently hoping that they would move over to the B & B. As much as he loved both of them, having them together in his bachelor pad, especially when Pacey had something to make - up to Joey... no, he didn’t even want to think about that... or where they would do that, or maybe they already had before she called him. Making a mental note to strip his bed linens as soon as he got home, he waited anxiously for Joey’s reply.

“Umm, I’ve talked to Bessie and she wasn’t sure yet if my room would be free. So I don’t know. But hopefully we can crash there tonight,” she finally answered.

“Oh, great,” Doug sighed again with relief. “Well, then I’d say we’ll meet for breakfast tomorrow at the B & B?”

“Okay, and if we can’t stay there, we’ll call again.”

“Okay...” Doug sent a quick prayer up to whoever was listening to him. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Joey closed her phone and stretched her tired limbs.

“Bye?” Pacey asked, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, slightly startling her.

“Huh? God, you almost gave me a heart attack,” she protested, annoyed. She simply hated being snuck up upon like that.

“I’m sorry,” Pacey whispered against her ear and kissed the column of her neck.

“Yeah, right... and that was your brother. I totally forgot to call back the troops who went in search of you.” Although everything was good between them again, it wouldn’t hurt to remind him a few times about the worries he had caused.

“Sorry,” Pacey mumbled sheepishly.

“Ready for dinner at the Leery’s?” Joey asked, changing the subject.

“No. Can’t say that I am. I still have no idea how to explain that to him.” Pacey sighed and ran his hand through his damp hair.

“Just tell him what happened. The truth, Pace.” Joey suggested, leaning her head against his shoulder. “And remember that you’re not alone. I’ll be right there. Just tell him, like you’d want to be told.”

“I wish that would be as easy in practice.” Pacey pulled her even tighter against him, wishing not only that, but that they would have it behind them already.

 

~*~

 

“Ready?” Joey asked softly, reaching for Pacey’s hand after he locked the car.

“If I say no, can we go away and pretend it’s a week earlier and nothing of the last twenty-four hours happened?” he sighed, seeking comfort from the feeling of her smaller hand in his own.

“Unfortunately, no.” Joey shrugged apologetically, sucking on her bottom lip.

“Damn,” Pacey muttered and suddenly stopped walking, causing Joey to stumble slightly as she bumped against him.

“Oww, Pacey...” she grumbled as he caught her just in time.

“Sorry. It’s just that... you know, this feels like bad déjà vu, you know? Us standing here on this lawn...”

Joey blew some air out and gazed at the white house in front of them. It looked like it always did, a little too big, warm and inviting nevertheless and representing huge parts of their childhood.

“Yeah, I know, but this time we’ll do it right, okay?” Joey stepped forward so that she was facing Pacey. “We’ll go in together and I’ll be right by your side when you tell him.”

“So I take it you don’t want to step in for me here?” He knew he was stalling, but he couldn’t help it.

“No.”

“Oh well, it was worth a try.” Pacey stated deploringly.

“Sure.” Joey shook her head, featuring another half smile. “Now let’s go. The sooner we get in there, the sooner it’s over.”

She had practically to drag him towards the porch, but she was determined to do what had to be done. The door was probably open like it always was, still it seemed inappropriate to simply barge in like they used to in the past. After sharing another glance at each other, Pacey straightened and finally knocked.

 

~*~

 

Dawson and Audrey were in the kitchen when they heard a faint knocking sound at the front door and it took a few seconds before Dawson answered it. Much to his surprise he found Pacey _and_ Joey on his porch.

“Joey!” he exclaimed happily, ignoring Pacey for a moment and stepped closer to embrace her.

“Umm... hi, Dawson.” Joey felt slightly uncomfortable and hurried their greeting, eager to leave his friendly gesture.

“Pacey said you weren’t here.” Dawson smiled brightly. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I could manage to come down today,” Joey explained, using a little white lie.

Dawson’s grin grew even wider. “I’m sure glad you could manage after all and Audrey will be, too. Umm, hey Pacey.”

Pacey sighed, feeling a little left out, like always. “Hey. So, don’t you want to ask us inside?”

“Always hungry, huh, Pacey?” Dawson teased and stepped to the side, opening the door wider to let them in.

“Let the fun begin.” Pacey pushed the door closed, muttering to himself. He watched as Dawson ushered Joey into the kitchen.

Seconds later Audrey’s shrill shriek troubled their ears. “Awwww, bunny! That’s what I call a surprise.”

“And what a surprise indeed,” Pacey thought as he rounded the corner to the kitchen just in time to see Joey being almost crushed by a nearly hysteric Audrey.

 

~*~

 

Pacey wasn’t really surprised to see that their dinner was sponsored by Leery’s Fresh Fish, knowing that neither Dawson nor Audrey were actually able to cook anything. For Audrey even the comparably simple task of boiling water bordered on an extreme adventure.

At least his final square meal wouldn’t kill him.

For most of the dinner their conversation consisted of merely shallow chitchat, which was always initiated by either Dawson or Audrey. They were talking about their plans for L.A. and Dawson’s ideas for his movie.

The latter topic made Pacey squirm on his chair and only Joey’s hand on his knee could calm him a little.

“Talking about _The Creek_ , I really have to show you something.” Dawson dabbed his lips with a paper napkin and pushed his chair back, already standing up.

“ _The Creek_?” Joey asked doubtfully and frowned.

“Oh, don’t ask... now he won’t stop... _ever_ ,” Audrey moaned and rolled her eyes.

Dawson ignored her remark and his eyes twinkled with enthusiasm. “Yeah, didn’t I tell you the title? I thought I did. Hmm, anyway, it seemed like the perfect choice, since the film depicts our lives and experiences, which were...are... all connected to Capeside and the creek. Think about it: Joey, Jen and I all live right at the creek and Pacey? You spent most of your time here or...” Dawson paused and cleared his throat. “Or at Joey’s. We shot the Monster From The Creek... so yeah, _The Creek_ is the best title.

Joey cast a side glance at Pacey. Both cringed at Dawson’s little impromptu speech, knowing that it would only get worse from there.

“You’re finished, aren’t you?” Dawson asked and stared pointedly at their plates, where they had only picked from.

“Umm...yeah. Sorry, I guess we had too much for lunch.” Pacey folded his napkin. There was no use in delaying the inevitable, so they could as well get started.

“No problem, then...follow me upstairs...” Dawson’s voice was almost conspiratorial as he climbed the stairs and led them to his bedroom.

The door was closed and he waited until all four of them were standing right in front of it.

“Be prepared... it’s kinda creepy, I guess,” Audrey snickered, linking her arm with Dawson’s.

“Aaand.... after you guys.” Dawson opened the door, giving it a push so that it swung to the side, unblocking the view into his room.

Joey’s eyes grew wide and she and Pacey voiced their surprise in unison, “Wow.”

Stepping further inside, they slowly took all the details of the transformation in. Actually it wasn’t quite a transformation. It was more like traveling back in time, as if they were back to the summer of six years ago.

“It's pretty crazy, huh? Took me forever. I want to make sure everything is perfect. What do you think?” Dawson asked proudly.

“Well...” Joey was at a loss of words. The room brought back so many memories and Audrey was right. It was creepy, but in a different sense then from what she thought. It was obvious that Dawson was more than a little obsessed with their teenage years.

“Well, I would say that this officially makes you the king of procrastination.” Pacey wrapped his arm around Joey’s waist, needing the contact as well as trying to comfort her, too.

“No, no, no,” Dawson chuckled amused. “We're going to shoot in here. I know it's tight, but I figured out a way to make the camera fit. And by saving money on locations, we can afford to go all out on everything else.”

“And that’s exactly what’s so creepy... have you seen all those tiny cameras he’s put up?” Audrey pointed at various cameras on the ceiling and the big one perched into the corner to her left. “I refused to sleep here and compelled him to move into the guest bedroom.”

“Man,” Pacey laughed forcedly. “Being in this room, it just takes me back to a whole other era. When the future was a clean slate for all of us, you know?” He felt absolutely awful. There Dawson was raving about his plans and he was listening, fully knowing that those dreams were already crushed.

“Well, the room may have gone back in time, but I think all of us have moved ahead rather nicely. It's about all the obstacles we went through when we were kids. We ended up doing exactly what we wanted to do,” Dawson grinned and gesticulated wildly.

“Did we? I’d say we’re still on our way,” Joey leaned closer to Pacey but eyed Dawson.

“Umm... yeah, well... but we’re all doing something we’re good at. I’m realizing my dream of making movies, you’re at Worthington, Audrey has her music and Pacey is succeeding as a broker. So it does look pretty good for us, doesn’t it?” Dawson frowned, not understanding why his friend sported such serious expressions on their faces.

“Well, there was that brief period of time I toyed with the idea of being a rodeo clown, but I guess this'll do,” Pacey chuckled, tightening his arm around Joey.

“But you made something of yourself, Pace, and now you're making something out of me. Actually, all of you are the reason why I’m finally able to do what I always wanted.” Dawson nodded, emphasizing what he was saying.

“I... I don't know that you should go that far. I mean, you had done this by yourself. Right? Even if you had nothing, this would...” Pacey rambled feeling nothing but guilty as cold sweat spread over his skin.

“I'm not...I'm... you're not hearing me, man. I'm... I'm trying to thank you. You and Joey...and I’m trying to apologize for...” Dawson licked his lips nervously. He was never good at admitting his own mistakes.

“Well, you're welcome, I guess, but, come on, Dawson, I mean, we all knew you'd do this. This was your dream. You just... needed to take a little trip down memory lane, right?” Pacey couldn’t bear to hear him say anything that remotely resembled an apology. He knew he had to admit his own failure soon, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Yeah...” Dawson frowned. “I needed that and a very financially savvy associate producer. I'm giving you credit on the film. So...” he walked over to his desk, grabbing a script and offered it to Pacey.

“You're part of this now. So, welcome to Hollywood, where people have meaningless titles for not even showing up on set. And Joey? Well, I’d love you to read my script...and, well... I wanted to ask you if you’d like going through it like... my editor? You know, sometimes I tend to ramble and... write things no real person would say, so... what do you say? You’re getting credits, too, of course.”

Pacey and Joey stared at each other in shock. This time Joey spoke up first.

“Umm, that’s really... flattering... especially after, well.... after you know...” closing her eyes she desperately tried to come up with something to say, but couldn’t find anything. It was strange, that in those kind of situations all those big words and empty phrases all of them were tossing around so frequently, were suddenly erased from her mind.

“Okay.” Dawson frowned again, still completely oblivious to why Joey and Pacey seemed so stressed. “I hope you don't think that I gave it to you so that you could just say all the obligatory nice things.” Maybe she thought he wanted to make up for their brief encounter at her birthday. He was genuinely sad that he couldn’t read her anymore like he was used to.

“No, why would I feel obligated? We never just exchanged niceties, we could... always... tell us the truth, right?” Joey exhaled, shifting around and feeling more than uncomfortable.

“Yeah, right. I just thought... your reaction... and Pacey... I know that a lot went wrong between us, and most of it, well... I’m just realizing that now and....” Dawson shook his head, glancing at Audrey who was unusually quiet.

Audrey raised her shoulders and shrugged slightly. She felt that something was not right and somewhere deep down she had sensed it the second she saw Pacey at the restaurant. She wasn’t about to meddle in any way. It wasn’t just the fact that she felt like it wasn’t her place, or that Dawson’s movie centered around his childhood friends, who weren’t just friends, but way more. More than she could ever describe, for lacking in any close friendships before she had met Joey and somehow became part of this little, sometimes almost dysfunctional, close group of friends. She felt excluded in some ways, but right then she was relieved.

“Okay...” Pacey ran his hand through his hair and briefly connected his eyes to Joey’s. “Now, I’m... well, Dawson, look...I don’t know what to say, this...” he raised the script he was still holding, “This is a huge honor to me, that you’d even consider including me that much into your film. I’m sure, Joey feels the same and if we seem a little off here... well... there’s something I have to tell you,” he sighed and removed his arm from Joey. He needed to do this on his own, it was his fault after all.

Dawson frowned, staring at him, then at Joey who’d cast her eyes downward, seemingly infatuated with the tips of her shoes. “You’re starting to scare me a little.”

“Yeah, I know. Alright.” Pacey tightened his grip on the manuscript, holding it almost like a shield in front of him. “I had a reason for coming to Capeside and it wasn’t to visit my brother. I came here to talk to you.”

Pausing again his eyes drifted to Audrey, who was leaning against the doorframe, somewhat stoically, and then back at Dawson, but he couldn’t quite hold his gaze. “Man, and we were just gettin' back to be friends, too. It's such a shame to ruin that.”

“What are you talking about? What would ruin it?” Dawson was alarmed and if it wasn’t for Joey’s demeanor and Pacey’s absolutely serious tone, he’d have thought they were making fun of him.

“Money. _Money_ would ruin it,” Pacey blurted and pressed his lips together as if he had accidentally gave away something that was supposed to be a secret.

“What happened?” Dawson whispered, suddenly feeling cold from deep within.

Pacey swallowed thickly and raised his head bravely. The least he could do was delivering the news with a little bit of pride left. “It's gone. Your money's gone, my money's gone, hundred’s of people’s money is gone...”

 

~*~

 

A long, grave stretch of silence ensued after Pacey’s revelation as all four stared at each other. Dawson paled visibly as he tried to digest what he had just heard. Audrey clasped one hand over her mouth, not knowing what to think at all. She was torn between feeling for Pacey or Dawson, but she didn’t grasp the full meaning. Money was one of the things she never really had to think about, it was just there and if not... there was always Daddy.

“What...what do you mean gone? That was all the money that I had,” Dawson asked suddenly, the words nearly catching in his throat.

Pacey sighed and let his hands drop helplessly. “I know it was, Dawson, and I honestly thought Stepatech was gonna take off, I swear to you.”

“Right.” Dawson scoffed and a hot red blush flushed his face, as the expected anger came through. “Yeah, of course. Otherwise, why would you blatantly ignore my request to sell the stock?”

“Man, I was just tryin' to do the right thing,” Pacey tried to defend himself. “And it’s not like I pressured you into keeping your stocks. I _asked_ you if you could wait a little for the chance of getting the most of your investment.”

“Ah, damn it, Pacey, this...” Dawson interrupted himself, trying to gather his thoughts together.

“No, I had the best intentions, okay? I’m sorry, very sorry, believe me... but... with stocks... you can never be sure at one hundred percent.” Pacey played distractedly with the script in his right hand, hoping to make Dawson understand.

Joey stood awkwardly at Pacey’s side, rubbing his back softly in an attempt to show him that she was there for him. She had expected this, but actually being right in the middle of this brought tears to her eyes. The whole situation was horrible, but there was nothing she could do.

Exchanging a glance with Audrey she was comforted that she was apparently feeling as helpless as she did herself.

Dawson stared at Joey but addressed Pacey again. “You're always _tryin'_ to do the right thing. You're always so _eager_ to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle.” He sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair. “Did you ever stop to think about what this means to me?”

“Dawson... you came to me because you thought I could help make something of it, and somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over?” Pacey balled his hand into a fist. Of course, Dawson would pull that.

Joey stepped forward, still not knowing what to do, but realizing that she had to do something before Pacey and Dawson would get physical. **“** Ok, you know what, you two? Let's just stick to the topic at hand. Okay? So we can just solve this problem and trying to get calm... and we'll talk about it.”

Dawson snorted and threw his hands up. “Joey, talking about this is not gonna solve anything.”

Joey frowned. “What are you talking about? If we sit down and talk about it...”

“He means it's not about money, Jo.” Pacey reached for her hand, silently apologizing for interrupting her, before he turned his head towards Dawson again. If he wanted it to be like that, he would go for it. “So fine then, let's just talk about what's really going on here.”

“Boys, please...” Audrey interjected weakly.

“Yeah, you know what?” Joey used the brief moment of surprise, where Dawson glanced at Audrey to continue her intervening plan. “There’s no use in drudging up old baggage from the past here. I mean... this,” she waved her hand, pointing from Pacey to Dawson and back again, “This is purely a business exchange between the both of you. And I... I think we should keep it at that.”

“She’s right. God, Dawson. I’m sorry that you lost money, but I’m sure we can...” Audrey jumped in.

“Yeah, it’s business between us, 'cause god knows we haven't been best friends in a long time, have we?” Dawson ignored Audrey who had reached for his arm, almost shaking her hand away as he moved forward, pointing his index finger at Pacey.

“No, we certainly have not.” Pacey nodded calmly. He had expected this.

“You wanna know why we're not friends, Pacey?” Dawson hissed. “It's not because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time, 'cause the second you made us competitors...”

Audrey sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her eyes were directed downward and she tried to mask the hurt she felt at Dawson’s comment. Although she knew all about the complicated history between those three from all available points of view, the infamous triangle, that in reality never was one to begin with. Despite the fact that she knew that Dawson really liked her, she couldn’t help but feel like the second choice yet again. It was her own fault, of course. The relationship with Pacey should have taught her that. Both men would always compare every other woman with Joey Potter. It was like a law of nature.

Pacey laughed almost amused by Dawson’s ability to create his own truth over and over again. “That I made us competitors? No. Now you're rewriting history, Dawson.”

“I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me. If you'd ever...” Dawson continued.

“No! You stop right there, Dawson.” Joey raised her voice a notch, determined to finalize the direction Dawson pursued yet again. “We’ve been down that road so many times and you know that’s just bullshit.”

Pacey raised his brow and tilted his head. It was seldom that Joey was using expletives and it was even more rare that she used them in front of other people.

“That’s just great, Joey. Stick to Pacey, pick up the shards he’s leaving in his wake all the time.” Dawson folded his arms and glared at her.

“That’s what couples do, Dawson,” Audrey huffed. “Besides, you’re the one who leaves shards in your trail.” She shook her head sadly and left the room without another word. It wasn’t her place to sort things out and Dawson didn’t give her any sign that he wanted her to be there, either.

Dawson stared after her, not quite realizing what had happened. “Great. Just great. As if I hadn’t enough to deal with. Why did you two even come here? Set out to ruin my life step by step? At least that’s something you’re good at, Pacey.”

“How dare you...” Joey inhaled sharply.

“No, how dare _you_? You had the nerve to sit through dinner without saying anything, like nothing happened and now? You act like it’s not Pacey’s fault,” Dawson almost shouted. “He’s the one who lost everything.”

Pacey narrowed his eyes on Dawson. True, _he_ lost the money, but his tone did nothing but augur ill. “Right, but that’s mostly because of the risky...”

“Oh yeah, play it down. That’s so typical for you. But I shouldn’t be surprised. What did you do anyway? Putting on a suit and slaving away at something that doesn’t even interest you? Pretending to know what you were doing?” Dawson fumed and paced his room. “You made money. Congratulations. You impressed us all.”

“How dare you. You know nothing about me, man. I was good at my job.” Pacey yelled as well.

“Then why am I broke?” Dawson asked snidely, cooly.

“Because that's life! I didn't make that choice! I didn’t lose your money on purpose. What do you want from me, man?” Pacey paddled with his arms in midair, needing to vent or otherwise he would have lunged for him. “Does this make you happy, that you're back on top now? I mean, you always liked it better when you were in charge, so is this what you wanted? Does this make it all right?”

Dawson laughed quickly. “There nothing that could make _it_ all right ever again.”

Pacey nodded, shaking his head all the while. He really didn’t expect anything else. “Yeah, thought so.”

“Ok, can you guys just stop it? I can't stand here and listen to you guys do this anymore. It’s ridiculous,” Joey muttered and walked towards the door. “You know what, Dawson? I’m sorry that you lost your money and I know how horribly you must feel right now, but this? Nothing justifies your behavior. It’s not fair to label Pacey as your personal scapegoat for whatever it is at the moment. You need to calm down, maybe then you’ll be able to talk about this like a civilized human being. Like an adult who knows what it means to invest in stocks and who knows what friendship means.” Taking a deep breath she nodded at Pacey, silently communicating with him, before turning around and walking down the stairs.

Pacey followed her with his eyes and sighed. “I didn't mean to lose your money. I didn't know that that would happen. I'm sorry.”

There was nothing more to say really and Dawson didn’t even look at him. Pacey slowly started to follow Joey and just as he was about to turn around the corner, he heard him mumble something.

“Yeah, so am I.” Dawson pushed his hands into his pockets, still not looking at Pacey. “This was just a big mistake from the beginning, I guess.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Pacey wasn’t sure if Dawson was listening or not and it wasn’t really important.

 

~*~

 

“Hey.” Joey leaned against the doorframe and gazed at Audrey who was sitting on the couch, staring at the opposite wall.

“Hey.” Audrey turned her head, acknowledging Joey’s presence. “Are they beating each other up yet?”

“Maybe... no? Who knows?” Joey shrugged and slumped down on the couch, too. “There’s the proof that you should never ever mix business with friendship... or even just, well... old acquaintances.”

“Yeah. That, too,” Audrey sighed and hugged her knees up to her chest.

“Meaning?” Joey stared at her and frowned.

“Meaning... that you should never have a relationship with one of your friend’s ex-boyfriends, let alone with _two_ of her ex-boyfriends.” Audrey pressed her lips together, not wanting to go there, but it was inevitable.

“I’m sorry, Audrey... I...” Joey started to apologize but to be honest she wasn’t sure for what really.

“Nah. It’s Dawson who should apologize.” Audrey smiled sadly. It was just her luck that she fell for each of Joey’s past and current men in her life.

“What are you going to do?” Joey asked quietly.

“Dunno. I guess for starters... Dawson has to think about a few things... preferably on the couch tonight. Under the circumstances I should give him another chance, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. After all... Dawson can be one of the good ones – if he wants to.” Joey couldn’t help but grin. Where did that come from? “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do... I do.” Audrey quickly wiped her eyes.

 

~*~

 

“Jo?” Pacey stood in the doorway, wanting nothing more than to leave.

Joey turned her head, quickly checking for any signs on how it had went on the upper floor, but his expression was just stoic and tired. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Standing up she touched Audrey’s shoulder and whispered in her ear, “Good luck and don’t give up too easily.”

“I won’t.” Audrey affirmed and glanced at Pacey. “Night, you two.”

Good night, Aud,” Pacey gave a quick wave with his hand and waited for Joey.

Placing his hand on her lower back he guided her towards the door and closed his eyes briefly once it closed behind them.

“So?” Joey raised her brow and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“So... well, that went as expected, didn’t it?” Pacey sighed and pulled her closer to him, feeling completely drained.

“I guess... but don’t take it to heart so much. He’s hurt right now and most of what he said...” Joey tried to put him at ease.

“No, don’t. You were right, you know? This isn’t your fight, Jo.” Pacey pointed towards the dock with his chin and Joey nodded slightly.

They crossed the lawn and walked down the dock. No matter how much time had passed or would pass in the future, this dock would always play an important role in their lives. So many decisions had been made there, so many things had occurred on that silent, wooden witness.

The creek was dark, only reflecting the bright shadows from the stars above. Something they missed in the big city.

Joey pulled on the lapel of Pacey’s jacket and eased them down, sitting there like they used to do, legs dangling over the edge and staring into the night.

For a few minutes they didn’t say anything, but thought about what happened and what they should do now, if there was anything left to do.

Joey cast side glances at Pacey, knowing that he was brooding and that he needed this. Lacing her fingers with his, she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Give it a little time, Pace, but... you, well... it’s up to you to make it right and I mean the both of you. It’s been over for so long, you have to put it at rest, make peace with it, with each other. Neither of you would be hurting so much if it weren’t for the friendship that’s still there. Buried underneath all those old issues, under your stubbornness. Maybe this was necessary, to get to your lowest point so that you two could start from scratch and go back to the foundation...”

“I don’t know how to make it right,” Pacey mumbled and kissed the back of her hand.

Suppressing yet another sigh he enveloped her in his arms. Staring back at the house he tightened their embrace.

 

 

 _But there are tears all over town_  
_Too many tears all over this town_  
 _There are tears all over town_  
 _Too many tears_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics taken from: “Tears all over town“ by A Girl Called Eddy


	9. You Can't Lose At Love

## Chapter 9 ~ You Can’t Lose At Love

 

Joey lay on her back and stared at nothing in particular. It started to get light and if she turned her head she’d have been able to check the time, but she didn’t care. The night hadn’t been easy for neither of them.

After leaving Dawson’s dock they drove to the B&B and retreated into Joey’s old room. Sleeping wasn’t a possibility though, despite their exhaustion they couldn’t fall asleep but turned the current situation and its problems over and over in their heads.

Simply holding each other and resting with closed eyes gave them at least some much needed comfort. Around two a.m. Pacey finally dozed off, but he was restless, shifting around until Joey wrapped her arm around his waist and put her head on his chest. Although not awake, Pacey calmed down and pulled her closer against him, letting his arm linger around her shoulders.

They stayed like that for the rest of the night and Joey couldn’t remember when nature won the battle and made her eyelids close themselves. She didn’t dare to move because she didn’t want to wake Pacey and she knew that his slumber was only light.

Tracing random but soothing patterns on Pacey’s chest she listened to his steady heartbeat. She had no idea of what to do yet, or of how to help him and Dawson, but she knew that they would do it together.

Suddenly the need to stretch her tired limbs became overwhelming and Joey carefully, so that she wouldn’t wake him, extracted herself from Pacey’s embrace.

Raising her arms above her head she yawned and arched her back before scooting up the bed again. Joey rolled over to her side and propped her elbow against the pillow, resting her head in her hand and gazed down at Pacey. Although he was still sleeping a frown had appeared on his forehead and his now empty left arm was splayed across his chest.

She couldn’t remember when it started, but she found herself watching him sleep whenever she had the chance and she loved it. He usually looked so peaceful and just like the little boy that was still somewhere inside of him. Exactly that mixture of the adult and boyish Pacey was what she loved so much, despite everything else.

The concept of letting him sleep as long as possible started to vanish into thin air the longer she gazed at him. Maybe she could simply place a soft kiss on his forehead to make the frown go away. Or she could kiss his chin...or his cheeks... and...

Joey sighed. If she were to do that – any kissing that is – she wouldn’t be able to stop and thus she would wake him.

She was still debating if she should risk waking him up or not, as Pacey cracked one eye open and glanced at her indecisive expression.

He had been awake for a little while, but he didn’t let it show when he felt her eyes on him. Through hooded eyes, only opened to a minimal slit, he watched her and couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach when he realized that she was watching him sleep. Little gestures like that, or maybe not gestures but actions, sprinkled throughout their relationship showed that this was it, that they were real this time.

 

_You know you love someone when you spend the entire night, just sitting by the fire, watching him sleep_.

 

Gram’s wise words echoed in his mind as if she’d spoken them just the other night and not already three years ago.

Back then it had only been him who watched her sleep, but now Joey was obviously watching him, too. It was a good feeling to know that, especially right then.

“Are you doing it or not?” he asked finally, almost shocking Joey who stared at his lips.

“What?” Joey straightened and frowned, blushing slightly because she had been caught ogling him.

Pacey’s eyes sparkled as he opened them both, wide awake now. “Kissing me.”

“And what makes you think I want to kiss you?” Joey raised her brow but had difficulty keeping a serious expression.

“Well, I know that gaze. You can’t fool me,” Pacey grinned cockily.

“You’re so full of it. Maybe I was just checking if you, sleepyhead, were finally awake,” Joey mocked, lowering her eyes.

Pacey rolled his eyes in return, completely seeing through her thin and useless disguise. “I’m waiting...”

“Oh well, keep waiting then, because...” Joey rolled over to her left side as if ready to step out of bed and yawned just for emphasis, “That’s not gonna happen.”

“Uh-uh...” Pacey growled and lunged for her, grabbing her around her waist and pulling her back on the bed, while moving himself partly above her. Having effectively trapped her, he took his time to study her slightly red face.

“Now, where are your manners, Miss Josephine? It’s not nice to not say ‘good morning’.”

“Whatever,” Joey grumbled, still hating to be called by her first name, and smirked at the same time. “At least I got you awake now.”

“Yeah...” Pacey nodded almost defeated. Maybe she really didn’t want to kiss him.

Joey saw shadows washing over his eyes and sensed that he was about to move away from her. In the matter of a second her teasing had turned sour somehow and she needed to put a stop to it.

There was this old saying that you should never go to bed being mad at each other. And she wasn’t, a little hurt still, but not mad at all.

“Hey...” snaking her arms around his neck, she raised her head and kissed his lips softly, before mumbling against them, “Good morning, Pace.”

Not letting go of him, she sank back against the pillow and simply brought him down with her. The moment she felt him relax against her and kissing her back, she was ready to face the new day. Regardless what it might have to offer.

 

~*~

 

“You know, staying at the B&B instead of Dougie’s apartment has one perk after another,” Pacey announced, spitting some toothpaste into the sink.

“What was that?” Joey peeked out behind the shower curtain, smoothing back her wet hair.

“I said that...” Pacey straightened and turned around, not really expecting to be confronted with a wet and naked Joey.

Although most of her was hidden behind the multi-color curtain, seeing her head, hair and left arm caused Pacey to swallow visibly.

Clearing his throat he waved slightly back and forth between them. “Perks... I said, staying here offers one perk after another.”

“Ah. Does it now.” Joey grinned knowingly and reached for the faucet to turn it off.

Stepping out of the tub, completely unabashed, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. “I dunno... of course, my old bed beats your brother’s couch, but being rushed out of bed to the bathroom by my dear sister, just so that we don’t disturb the paying customers, and forced to share the precious hot water...”

“Which is exactly what I’m talking about.” Pacey held his razor in his left hand, ready to shave, but too distracted by the exciting view Joey was offering to handle a sharp object like that without the danger of hurting himself.

“Need some help?” Joey looked pointedly at the razor and cocked her head to the side. She loved the effects she had on him. Sometimes she would still blush because of it, but when it came down to it she felt immensely flattered.

“Sure...” Pacey swiftly turned the razor and offered it to her, but couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease her, “But remember that Bessie’s idea was to hurry us to get ready.”

“I’ve had some practice. It’s not like I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of... you knowing what you’re _doing_ to me.” Pacey winked at her.

Rolling her eyes, Joey sprayed some shaving gel into her palm and rubbed her hands together, turning the thick liquid into a nice and fluffy white mass. “Right now you’d better shut up and not move. You know the drill.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He almost saluted, but Joey’s raised brow and the sudden splash of foamy gel for sensitive skin, right over his mouth stopped him from every witty come-back he might have been able to come up with.

Pacey put his hand lightly on Joey’s waist and directed her back to the tub while she continued lathering his face.

They moved synchronously until he could sit down on the brink. Joey stepped in between his legs and bent over to turn the faucet on so that she could rinse the blade before using it.

Before leaning back again to start shaving, she kissed the top of his head and used her index finger to raise his head a little. “Let this be the beginning of our next winning streak,” she whispered.

Pacey exhaled and gazed deeply into her eyes, silently agreeing.

 

~*~

 

“So...” Joey started slowly as she leaned back, her weight resting almost entirely on her elbows.

“So...” Pacey repeated and squinted against the bright sunlight. As nice as the day had begun for them, he knew that the hard things had to be discussed. Knowing that didn’t stop him from stalling though and his idea to move their breakfast out to the Potter dock and turning it into a little picnic could have been considered as a part of this endeavor.

“Pace...” Joey sighed and nudged his leg gently with hers.

“Jo...” Pacey attempted a little smile and returned the light touch. Stalling was good, very good.

You know that playing ostrich and burying your head in the proverbial sand doesn’t help you, me or anybody for that matter, right?” Joey sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. “And besides that, not even ostriches do that in order to avoid dealing with reality or whatever else is weighing them down. They are just...”

“Eating. I know. See, our invested extra time in biology was good for something. And speaking of eating... would you like another cup of coffee?” Pacey asked, ready to get up and make a beeline back to the house.

“No! And stop stalling already. That’s pathetic, Pace.” Joey’s voice rose a bit in proportion to her rising frustration.

Pacey lowered his head and rubbed his eyes. Pathetic indeed. _He_ was a wretched and sorry specimen of the human species.

Joey watched his expression change and could almost see what was going on behind his eyes. In awfully bright neon-colors to be exact. She licked her lips before worrying the lower one with her teeth.

“Pace, look at me... please?” she asked pleadingly and put her hand lightly against his neck. She didn’t want to force him to look at her, but she needed the physical contact to show him just what she meant.

It took a few seconds but he finally managed to tilt his head and look at her.

“You are not pathetic... your way of avoiding difficult things and situations is. And...” Joey wasn’t quite sure if she wasn’t making everything worse with her attempt at explaining herself, but she had started this little speech and now she had to finish it. “It’s okay to be scared and insecure every now and then but you have to work on that. Things don’t go away by ignoring them, sweetie.”

“Yeah.” Pacey kissed Joey’s wrist softly and let his cheek linger against her palm. “You’re really done with running, aren’t you?”

“Yep, completely.” Joey bit her lower lip and regarded him carefully. “You’d better be through with that bad habit, too.”

“Me? I’ve never been...” Pacey started to object but Joey’s dangerously high arched eyebrow told him to shut up quickly. “Yeah... okay, maybe I did.”

Both fell quiet for a few moments and watched the soft movement of the water. It was almost motionless, especially in comparison with the ocean waves. Somehow it didn’t seem appropriate to be that calm when everything else in their lives was in so much turmoil. On the other hand, extremes met all the time and maybe that was exactly what kept the world in motion.

“I don’t know what to do, Jo. I just don’t know,” Pacey finally broke the silence, but kept staring blankly at the water. “And perhaps that’s a sign, right? We both know that I’m, well...I’m kinda famous for my notorious ability to ruin everything that I started. Be it personal or on business. If you think about it, whatever you’ve been plotting in that pretty head of yours – and don’t start denying it, because you have, I’m sure you have – we’d all be better off if I just didn’t do anything. Literally, I might be destined to live my life lying on the couch, indulge into stupid TV shows, maybe cook lunch or dinner once in a while...”

Joey’s lips couldn’t help themselves but morph into an amused grin. “You’re a moron and if I didn’t know better I’d almost throw you a big pity party.”

She knew that, although spoken with a hint of black humor Pacey really did believe in being a lost cause.

Pacey sighed, “So I’m not even getting that?”

“No, you might get a party once we’ve sorted everything out and...”

“You do have a plan, don’t you?” Pacey cocked his head to the side and waited expectantly.

“Maybe a sketch of a plan, yeah... and it will...” Joey started to explain but was interrupted by the bright voice that was wafting over from the house.

 

~*~

 

“Hey, good morning!” Audrey yelled and waved as she walked towards Joey and Pacey.

“What timing...” Pacey muttered and scooted closer to Joey to make room for the blonde.

“Shush,” Joey whispered, not wanting Audrey to feel like she was intruding. She was, but that was beside the point and she wondered what had brought her over that early.

“Hey,” Audrey greeted them again and plopped down on the warm wood. “Wow, that’s... hot and hard.” She frowned and shifted around to get comfortable.

“You did not just say that...” Joey snorted and shook her head.

“Huh? What? What did I say?” Audrey’s frown deepened and she glanced from Joey to Pacey and back again, obviously absolutely clueless.

“It’s okay, Aud... don’t worry.” Pacey tried to assure her, but was grinning, too. Usually she was well aware of each and every innuendo and normally she’d use them quite well. It was highly amusing to see her that innocent.

“No... you’re laughing and I wanna know why?” Audrey wailed but her attention was quickly drawn to Joey’s coffee.

“Nevermind...” Joey took a deep breath and pushed her mug towards her. “Not quite awake yet, huh?”

“Not at all... or rather not yet, since I couldn’t sleep last night.” Audrey grabbed the mug and inhaled the rich aroma.

The brown, nearly black liquid immediately revived her spirits and even more so since it was almost cold. Despite the early hour it was already warm, too warm and walking over from Dawson’s house got her uncomfortably hot as well. Sun went with sandy beaches and sweet idleness. It didn’t mix well with walking exercise at times where you should roll over in bed and dream one more dream before facing the world.

“That bad?” Joey asked softly.

Audrey nodded and put the mug down, playing with it to distract herself. “Yeah, we didn’t really talk after you two went home. Actually, Dawson didn’t even come down and instead of him spending the night on the couch, I stayed there. By the way, late night shows are highly overrated.”

Pacey sighed and resumed staring at the water. So much for that.

“I’m sorry,” Joey mumbled and touched Audrey’s arm comfortingly.

“You should stop apologizing for things that have nothing to do with you.” Audrey blew out some air and took another big sip of coffee.

Joey removed her hand and blushed, unsure of what to do or say. Deep down she knew that Audrey was right. She wasn’t responsible for what Dawson did or didn’t do. She never had been and it was time to let that go, too.

“Anyway, I thought I could be the wiser one and make the first step, so I went up to him and...” Audrey shook her head and sighed. “He was taking down all his movie posters and his mother and I came just in time to stop him from demolishing that big Capeside model.”

“Not again...” Joey muttered and glanced at Pacey.

“It happened before?” Audrey asked surprised.

“Umm, sort of, yes. Or rather twice. The first time he packed his camcorder and every filming device away after he lost against the daughter of our old high school principal. And then, over the summer when Pacey and I were sailing, he picked up photography and removed everything from his life that remotely reminded him on us.” Joey rubbed her temple in hopes to ease the headache she felt was coming up.

“Such a drama queen,” Audrey snickered. “And right, I forgot to mention that...” she visibly ducked before continuing, “He mumbled something like never wanting to see any of you again and that his whole script was nothing but bogus, because there was no such thing as friendship.”

Pacey chuckled miserably. Of course, Dawson had to pull that card again. He had expected it more or less, but somehow he had hoped he had grown up a little.

Joey chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip. After all his behavior simply confirmed the idea she already had before Audrey showed up.

“Well, I think we have to show him how wrong he is,” she declared firmly.

“By doing what?” Pacey stared at her with furrowed brows.

“Calling the troops,” Joey smiled and stood up, taking him with her.

 

~*~

 

“Why are we doing this?” Audrey sighed and put the receiver down for the first time in nearly two hours.

Joey stopped scribbling on her notepad and glanced up. “Huh?”

“Seriously. Why. Are. We. Doing. This?” Audrey pronounced every single word with emphasis and gesticulated wildly. “I mean, he insults and hurts all of us, blames everyone but himself and is nothing but a spoiled brat. Yes, a damned spoiled brat and I know what I’m talking about, being a tad overspoiled myself.”

“I don’t think that’s a real word, sweetie.” Joey let her pencil roll to the side and stretched tiredly.

“Who cares?” Audrey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “So why are we doing this?”

Joey tilted her head and finally rested her head in her open palm. “Because, deep down we know that he is hurt himself, even if it’s wrong to act like he does, we can’t stop caring because we are friends. All of us would do the same for anyone of us. We might fight with a passion that’s bordering on killing wishes, but we love each other just as fiercely. Once you’re in this circle, you’re in it for life, despite some silent treatments thrown in once in a while.”

“Wow, I didn’t expect such a detailed explanation. You thought about that before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, more often than I’d have liked to,” Joey sighed.

“This isn’t just an incestuous little group, this is like your average mafia family,” Audrey tried to joke. “No way out and punishments are an inside job, too.”

“Now that’s a little too crass, Liddel,” Pacey waltzed back into the kitchen, having overheard the last part of their conversation.

“You’re biased and brainwashed,” Audrey retorted and grinned.

“How much coffee did you have?” Pacey asked solemnly and raised his brow ominously.

“Lots of, why?”

Lowering his voice to a mysterious whisper, Pacey put his hands on Audrey’s shoulder, “It’s in the water, baby.”

Audrey gasped and stared at Joey who nodded confirming, “The creek, the water... busted.”

“Now that we have that cleared up... did you two do anything besides chitchatting while I was gone?” Pacey pulled the chair next to Joey back and sat down.

“Look who’s back to his usual annoying self,” Joey complained. “I don’t know, I think I liked your guilty, itself up-beating – self better.” Of course she didn’t, she was thrilled that Pacey slowly but surely, found his way to being himself again.

She gazed at him for a few seconds and revised her last thought. He wasn’t just back to being himself again, he was back to an improved version of himself. In the past he would have taken for granted that he was a failure, something that was still haunting him from time to time. The latest setback serving as a reminder to that and for a couple of days she had feared he would give in. Maybe he had, but now, seeing him so active, especially after their talk in the morning, she knew that he was ready and willing to fight.

“What?” Pacey licked his lips nervously, not feeling so good under Joey’s intense scrutiny.

Joey smiled and scooted closer to him, cradling his cheek in her hand. There wasn’t much she could say at this moment. “I love you.”

Pacey grinned widely. If she kept telling him that she loved him, she could stare at him as long as she wanted. Always. “Love you, too.”

Joey touched her forehead against his and planted a soft kiss on his lips, completely forgetting that they weren’t alone and busy with a whole different thing.

“Oh please!” Audrey groaned and rolled her eyes as the lovebirds’ gaze finally met hers. “Can we go back to the task at hand? And, newsflash: If I’m not getting some... you aren’t either.”

“See, there’s the melodramatic touch already,” Pacey teased and continued nuzzling Joey’s neck.

“It’s getting worse and worse,” Joey chuckled but took mercy on their friend when Audrey sighed and worried her lip. “Okay, you’re right. Mission Impossible is waiting.”

“Uhh... first rule: No movie references. Second rule: No references to freaky, delusional, small men. I take personal offense to that – besides, I’m much better than that and as long as I’m onboard here,” Pacey declared determinedly.

Joey snickered and let her tongue peek out behind her teeth. Personally she agreed wholeheartedly with Pacey. Tom Cruise did nothing for her, never had and never would. It was probably true after all what people said about smallish men and their delusions of grandeur. Even a quick look at the world’s history proved that. She couldn’t understand how women could feel attracted to men like that. Money?

Shaking her head she tried to focus again, but couldn’t help herself but take another last jab, this time towards a not <i>that</i> small guy, “Mission Oompa-Loompa, then?”

Pacey nearly doubled over with laughter. They could get older and older, grow-up even, but this nickname would stay forever. “You got it, Mission OL – we need to keep it under cover.”

“Right,” Joey laughed and held her already aching sides.

“You know that you’re crazy, right?” Audrey glared at them, drumming her fingertips impatiently against the wooden table.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby,” Joey smiled sweetly. Suddenly everything felt so good to her. Despite the inhospitable circumstances responsible for what they were doing, she started to enjoy every second of it.

“We’re not crazy, we’re gifted,” Pacey acceded calmly but his eyes were sparkling.

“Uh-huh, sure. Especially you, right? What’s your gifted talent? Cockiness?” Audrey crossed her arms and continued to stare at them with mild disdain. She failed to recognize any positive or amusing point to their situation.

“Tsk, tsk...” Pacey shook his head, “look at this and be amazed.” He fished a brand-new notebook out of his pocket and opened it.

“While you two had a nice time over here, I checked some things, visited a few people...”

“Cut to the chase!” Audrey bellowed in a hushed voice, which diminished the desired effect immensely.

“As you might know, we’ve already one summer’s worth of filming under our belt and we didn’t actually have a budget back then either. So I pulled strings, worked my charms and got us equipment for free, well... almost free.”

“Would you get to the point already?” Audrey wasn’t up for any guessing games. Although she was awake now, her earlier grumpiness hadn’t totally vanished yet.

“Advertisement. Promise people they get mentioned in the credits of a local indie film or maybe even a little cameo and they’ll do almost anything,” Pacey’s grin widened even more. It was true, selling things to other people, no matter what, seemed to be his calling.

 

~*~

 

The scene was like a faded memory souped-up with the latest Technicolor and a few minor changes in the props, garnished with new and just tiny wrinkles here and there, even a single grayish hair that hadn’t been there in the original.

And the background wasn’t identical either. No white, too big house in the background and no creature from the creek trying to pull an unsuspecting girl down into the depths of its cold home.

Joey smiled and squinted against the sunlight, waving at Jen as she climbed out of the yellow cab, that was most likely the very same that brought her to Capeside all those years ago. As always some things changed while others stayed the same.

Jen pushed a meddlesome strand of her short hair back behind her ear and waved back at her friend before helping Grams out of the car while Jack was busy retrieving their luggage from the trunk.

Joey sat the teapot down on the picnic table they had once again turned into a small banquet table and when she turned back at them, Jen nearly jumped at her, hugging and almost suffocating her in the process.

“Whoa, you missed me, huh?” Joey finally breathed.

Jen sighed, stepping back and Joey realized that she looked incredibly tired and pale. “You have no idea.”

“Hey,” Joey touched Jen’s arm softly. She knew that the last days, weeks almost, had been hard on her. Taking care of Grams certainly took its toll and C.J.’s sudden plans of moving to New York to finish his studies there weren’t helping at all.

Jen shrugged and glanced at the creek. It was strange, but somehow this little, quaint town had become her home. “It’s good to be back...home,” she whispered and let out a breath of relief.

“Who would have thought, huh?” Joey smiled, understanding her feelings all too well. “How is she?”

Jen cocked her head to the side and watched Grams taking in the so very familiar scenery as well. She wondered if it had been wrong to accept her giving up her house to move to Boston with her, just because she was too scared to do it without her.

“Not too bad, actually. It’s her week off the therapy and she was so excited to spend these days in Capeside.”

“Do I smell Bodie’s blueberry pancakes here?” Jack asked happily, already licking his lips in anticipation as he intruded Joey and Jen’s bonding moment rather abruptly, slumping his arms on their shoulders to gather both girls in a bear hug.

Jen and Joey looked at each other, rolled their eyes and finally erupted in laughter.

“Home sweet home,” Joey sing-songed, freeing herself from Jack’s grip on her shoulder to hug Grams, who joined them for a second breakfast.

“Where’s the rest of the gang?” Jack muttered barely understandable due to a big bite of pancake.

“You mustn’t talk with your mouth full, dear,” Grams chided softly, but her eyes smiled and sported a certain sparkle that hadn’t been so prominent lately.

The radiotherapy was exhausting and she had never been as tired as during the weekly cycles. She was in good hands though, her doctor was wonderful and she didn’t feel left out or ignored in her own treatment. Having spent hours online for research, she and Jen had read so often that patients felt helpless, didn’t understand their therapy because doctors failed to explain it or were simply not interested in regarding ailing people as being on par with themselves.

No, she wasn’t complaining. The ways of the lord were unfathomable and she wouldn’t let an illness, no matter how severe, get her down. Sometimes she had silently questioned if she’d be able to see and experience Capeside again and there she was.

Taking a deep breath she enjoyed that she felt... nothing, no pain and no difficulties with breathing at all. Of course, that was mostly due to the fact that she was on her off week, but still she loved to think that it had something to do with being home.

 

~*~

 

“Dawson?” Audrey kicked the front door close and plopped the various files she got from Joey down on the sideboard in the foyer.

The house was cool and quiet... way too quiet for her liking. Silence was something she could do without and after spending most of the day at the B&B, discussing, joking and out in the sun, she felt the difference multiplied.

“Dawson? Helloooo?” she tried again but was met with more deafening stillness. “Right... what was I thinking,” sighing she sauntered to the kitchen and retrieved an icy coke from the fridge.

Sipping and humming nervously Audrey climbed the stairs. Although she wasn’t graced with any response at all, she was pretty sure that Dawson was home and brooding in his room.

Pushing his ajar door wider open she found him exactly where she had suspected him to be: lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and surrounded by several cardboard boxes.

“Exhausted from... I don’t know... performing extreme tabula rasa on your room?” Audrey took in the vastly change the room had suffered while she was gone.

Dawson sighed deeply but didn’t even look at her and kept his eyes fixed on the blank ceiling.

“Cat got your tongue on top of that?” Audrey asked pointedly, growing more and more tired with Dawson’s diva-esque attitude. Leaning back against the doorframe she was glad that she had at least the can to play with.

“I need to think. My whole life just went down the drain... again and there’s nothing I can do about that. Have you ever felt that way?” Dawson muttered frustrated. “I guess not.”

“No, of course not... staring at the bottom of each and every bottle in a 200 mile radius is a joyride. Worshipping the god of porcelain is my preferred religion and snubbing your friends with your drunken rants is the latest idea of fun. Yeah, I don’t know nothing about lives going down the drain,” Audrey replied sarcastically.

“I really don’t appreciate you mocking me – now at all times.” Dawson finally turned his head and stared at Audrey with a hurt expression.

“Excuse me? You can’t be serious,” Audrey exclaimed and shook her head. “And just for your information: the role of the eligible resident drama queen has already been cast – and you simply don’t meet demands with your little demonstration here.”

“Right, what did I expect, huh? Where did I get the idea from, that a girlfriend should support her boyfriend? Actually... that has to be a dead wrong rumor, ‘cause history already taught me that I can never rely on any so called friends, especially not on female ones who are drawn to...” Dawson sat up and crossed his arms defiantly in front of his chest.

“You’d better stop right there or you’ll live to regret the past seconds... believe me!” Audrey yelled and put her coke forcefully down on the box closest to her, not caring that the spilled fluid immediately seeped inside.

“Whatever.” Dawson shrugged and turned his eyes away from her. “Where have you been anyway? When I woke up you weren’t here. You could’ve helped me... clean the room from all those... phantasmagorical remnants of years of daydreaming...”

“As tempting as that would have been... tending to your wallowing, drowning-in-self-pity-self... I think I did something much more productive, sweetie,” Audrey forced herself to calm down and moved over to the bed.

Opening his mouth to protest, Dawson was promptly silenced by Audrey who hushed him with a single glance.

“Despite your distorted perception of your friends and your life, your enormous brattiness and obliviousness to the things that really matter...”

“I’m not oblivious or bratty... don’t you ...” Dawson dissented vehemently, scooting away from her.

“Interrupt me one more time, darling, and you finally will have a reason to yammer!” Narrowing her eyes, Audrey rebuked him for the umpteenth time within the past twenty-four hours. Another thing she got rapidly tired of and something that added to the developing headache that bothered her since she set foot in the house earlier.

“Your friends are not and won’t give up that easily. If you’re ready to take in and throw away anything that ever meant something to you, your friends are not. And boy what friends you have there.”

“So you’ve been with them? All day long?” Dawson jumped up and paced the floor, not believing that yet another of his girlfriends was betraying him like that. “You went to them?”

“Yes I did, I went to our friends, as in my and especially your friends, who, – for reasons that are beyond me, given your current display of idiocy – spent their free time to come up with a plan to help you!”

“Oh I think I’ll pass on that one. Don’t you think they have _helped_ enough already? I don’t need them to help increasing the damage that’s already been done,” Dawson stopped pacing and almost stomped his foot like an irate five year old.

“No, I don’t think so and therefore we’re going out... now.” Audrey stood up as well and set her arms akimbo, showing clearly that she wouldn’t tolerate any objections.

“I don’t think so,” Dawson mimicked her posture and glared at her.

“Too bad, because we are going,” stepping forward she grabbed his hand and pulled, making good use of the moment of surprise and marched towards the stairs.

“Stop fussing around. Your mom awaits us at the restaurant,” Audrey demanded and silently added that Ms. Leery wasn’t the only one waiting for them.

“I do not want to go.”

“But you are, even if I’ll have to kick you there.” Maybe he was a spoiled kid, but she would show him what real stubbornness looked like.

 

~*~

 

“I don’t know what to say, really. You’ve put so much effort in his project even though he’s been less than cooperative. Although he’s my son, I do know that he can be quite difficult to deal with,” Gale smiled warmly and distributed drinks to the group.

“Umm... well, that’s what friends do. And you know that it’s sorta my fault,” Pacey cleared his throat and cast a quick glance at Gale. On the one hand he knew that those things happened every day and that it was just the way the stock trade was. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but more often there were losses. On the other hand he was the one who decided in which stocks Dawson’s money went into.

“Pacey, I know that you’re beating yourself up about that, but it most certainly isn’t your fault. You invested Dawson’s money with the best of intentions. I have no doubt about that. After all it was Dawson’s decision to raise money as quick as possible and to take those risks. Don’t forget that, honey.”

Gale flipped the now empty tray under her right arm and let her left hand linger on Pacey’s shoulder. Despite being Dawson’s mother and feeling very sorry for his loss, she couldn’t stand witnessing Pacey’s turmoil. After all she had been a mother to all three of them. More or less at least.

“Thank you,” Pacey mouthed not able to help his instant blushing. Gale wasn’t the first to tell him this, but besides Joey, her statement was among those that meant the most to him.

Joey had overheard the little exchange and shared a smile with Gale before she tilted her head to kiss Pacey’s cheek. “See, maybe you’ll finally start believing what we’re all telling you.”

Sighing, Pacey wrapped his arm around Joey and kissed her temple. If only it was that easy to believe and accept it, if only.

“Shouldn’t they have been here by now?” Jack asked impatiently, ogling the menu and checking his watch.

“You can’t seriously be hungry again? You’ve been eating all day!” Jen rolled her eyes and snatched the object of Jack’s affection right out of his hand.

“Hey, I’m still growing,” Jack protested, attempting to get the leaflet back.

“In your dreams, buddy... in your dreams,” Jen giggled and pushed the menu towards Joey and out of Jack’s reach.

“Somehow I think Capeside reverts us back into Kindergarten-age,” Pacey mused, but he was more than happy that Jen was laughing and joking again. A rarity lately.

Apparently CJ’s move to New York didn’t only mean a separation of space, but also the end of his and Jen’s relationship. Joey had already expected this, but Pacey was completely surprised when Jen gave them a short update of what had happened in Boston since their departure.

“Oh how great! Why am I not surprised?” Dawson muttered and stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of the little group sitting a few feet away from them.

“Maybe you’ve got visionary powers, or maybe it’s a déjà vu... whatever, keep moving, sweetie,” Audrey pushed him forward, ignoring his protests.

Knowing that it was futile to try and resist the force of nature that was christened ‘Audrey Liddel’, he let her shove him right up to the round corner table. His defenses were up nevertheless and one glance at his angry expression left no doubt about his mood.

“Now what do we have here?” he muttered, not sure what to think of this little arranged impromptu meaning.

He didn’t know how he felt about it and that alone raised many uncomfortable questions, too. If he wasn’t angry, not hurt, not happy... but confused, what did that mean then? Was he ready to forgive and forget? Had he acted unreasonably? All those thoughts were running in his head, dancing and changing directions all the time, although he hadn’t been in the restaurant for more than a minute. Defense was the best thing that came to his mind and he was used to being harsh by now. Old habits, no matter how old exactly, died hard.

Pacey sighed and looked up, stealing himself for the inevitable confrontation, which wouldn’t be nice at all. The surprise was on his side as he noticed the flitting thoughts and emotions in Dawson’s eyes. Sure, his question was as repelling as he had expected his reaction to be, but his features showed confusion. Maybe things wouldn’t be half as bad as anticipated.

“Umm... I think your mom calls it _Grilled Mixed Seafood_ with...”

“Witty, Witter,” Dawson interrupted him, unable to keep the corners of his mouth to morph into a slight but persistent smile.

“Wow, that was civilly... wasn’t it?” Jen quipped and stood up to hug Audrey. “Good work, missy.”

“Oh well, one of my easier moves really,” Audrey grinned and patted her shoulder.

“Oh I see, that was all a big ploy, huh?” Dawson asked rhetorically, gazing at each of them.

“Nah, that’s dinner, honey,” Gale explained seriously as she touched her son’s arm tenderly. “Can I fix you something? Fresh seafood? Or maybe some pasta? You didn’t have anything for lunch, did you?”

Pushing him on the seat next to Jack, Gale didn’t tolerate any objections and retreated as quickly as she had appeared.

“You didn’t think you’d get away easy, did you?” Joey asked softly, hoping that the Dawson they grew up with was still somewhere beneath the cold surface.

“Actually...” Dawson cleared his throat but was cut short of his reply by Audrey.

“Maybe not easy, but he was up and ready to be on the lam,” she sighed dramatically and flipped her hair back. “All packed up and grumpy, hating each and everyone plus the whole, big, bad world.”

“Now that’s ... I mean, let’s not exaggerate here. I didn’t...” Dawson protested hastily.

“Oh please... maybe we should have filmed your irrational acts, like a ‘behind the scenes’ feature to your movie, or rather our movie. You’re degraded to being,” Audrey paused and licked her lips, thinking deeply – or maybe just pretending, for effect only, of course. “Yeah, being the cameraman or something.”

“Ha...ha...ha,” Dawson grumbled not very amused, but a tiny bit of the glimmer that was always present in his eyes when he was working or simply thinking about his movies, was back.

“But seriously, how... why... I mean, ... I don’t know what I mean, but... you know?”

“You used to be much more eloquent, didn’t you?” Joey grinned, sticking her tongue out. Even if the whole conversation up to now consisted merely of attempts at pleasantries and flat jokes, it was better than nothing and better than what they had exchanged lately.

“Ahhh, those were the good ole’ times where I was able to afford a ghostwriter, remember?” Dawson leaned back and put his most serious face on.

The common sigh that erupted reverberated loudly through the subsequent silence until Dawson sheepishly cleared his throat.

“That bombed, huh?” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair for the lack of having anything other to do to break the ugly moment.

Pacey nodded slowly, feeling all too familiar with the foot in mouth disease which was causing such cringe-worthy situations like that.

“Yeah, not quite Oscar material. We’ll work on those _witty_ parentheses... it takes years of practice though,” he grinned placatory and clanked his glass against Dawson’s drink that the waitress put down in front of him.

Dawson hesitated for a split-second before he returned the gesture. “Good thing we’re still young then.”

“Rebels with a cause,” Jack threw in while stealing a fry from Jen’s plate.

“Watch it, or there’ll be a repeat performance of _Seven_ ,” Jen narrowed her eyes, staring pointedly at his hand, then at his already empty plate and back again to her own, still laden plate.

“Uhhh, not getting the insider here,” Audrey waved her hand before Jen’s eyes to get her attention and frowned.

“Aud, have you seen the movie?” Pacey shook his head and laughed, never doubting that the Lindley girl would eventually implement all those threats she was dishing out.

“Brad Pitt, yeah, I saw that. So?” Audrey furrowed her brows even more, not liking it at all that she apparently was the incarnation of each blondie.

“Well, besides staring at Brad, do you remember the story at all?” Joey hinted subtly without much success. Watching Audrey’s blank expression grow, she propped her chin on Pacey’s shoulder and continued. “Seven as in the seven deadly sins? And since Jack seems to be fond of at least a few of them, like greed, gluttony and perhaps sloth – all in reference to food, of course, Jen probably thought that the prospect of suffering a similar fate as those sinners in the movie could stop him from stealing her food.”

“Not working,” Jen complained and pushed Jack’s inquiring hand away, “Purgatory is waiting for you, Jackers.”

“Aww, you don’t mean that,” Jack grinned at her lovingly, snatching yet another fry.

“No, I don’t. Go and bother somebody else.”

“But where would the fun be in that? And your fries are honestly the best there are.” Jack licked his lips, a permanent smile fixed on his face.

Jen huffed and turned her back on him, shielding her plate as well as she could and mumbling profanities.

“Are you sure you’re gay?” Audrey cocked her head to the side, regarding Jack critically. “Because I could swear you two are an old, married couple, talking the talk and walking the walk, if you know what I mean.”

“As gay as you’re blonde, honey,” Jack winked and rubbed Jen’s back.

“And pray tell, what makes you think I’m legally blonde?” Audrey raised her brows provokingly, eliciting a gasp from Jack.

“Busted,” Pacey howled with laughter, wiping small tears from his eyes. Boy had he missed those gatherings.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, and not so comfortable blushing attacks on Jack’s side, Dawson put his fork down. The sheer possibility of realizing his film against all odds, was completely consuming him, all the thoughts he had banned from his mind came rushing back, building up one question after the other.

“So, what were you thinking? I mean, I still don’t have any money left and actors... what about actors?”

“All covered and accounted for,” Joey tucked her hair back, feeling elated with everything they had accomplished so far.

“And I get to portray the infamous Miss Jacobs!” Audrey exclaimed, batting her lashes at Dawson.

“And...Sam and Petey? And Dunston?”

“Aww, isn’t he too cute? He’s actually using my pet name for him,” Audrey sighed and wrapped her arms around Dawson’s shoulder.

“Dunston? Pet name? And you’re trying to tell me you’re not blonde?” Jack shook his head, rolling his eyes for added effect.

“Hush,” Jen shushed him by feeding him a bite of her steak.

“There, married!” Audrey retorted.

“So?” As usual, Dawson drifted into his own world, blinding out the amiable quips that surrounded him.

“Patience is a virtue, Dawson. You’ll see tomorrow, don’t worry,” Joey affirmed him.

“Hmm...” Dawson considered that information, but wasn’t satisfied yet. “Well, then... but... I can’t...I’m working. I need the...”

“No, sorry, sweetie, but you’re fired,” Gale nodded sadly, yet happy that the plan they had all been working on seemed to work just fine.

“But...” Dawson opened his mouth for another inquiry as Joey’s cell phone started to beep.

Shrugging apologetically she reached for it, “Joey Potter... oh, yes. Thank you for getting back at me. Just one second please.”

Joey stood up, covering the phone with her hand. “Be right back... bad reception here,” she added but avoided Pacey’s questioning glance.

 

~* ~

 

“Do you really think they learned their lines at all?” Pacey asked and yawned. He had never expected the early train from Boston to be that _earl_ y.

“Huh?” Joey raised her head from his shoulder, not having caught what he had said.

“Earth to Joey? You know, it wasn’t my idea to book tickets for the early train, that was your doing,” Pacey chuckled, “But where were you right now? I said: Do you think they learned their lines?”

“Oh, yeah... I know. They’d better know them by heart or Harley will have to live with being grounded until she’s forty-something,” Joey shook her head. Dealing with two major projects at the same time was nothing but strenuous.

“You blackmailed them?” It was Pacey’s turn to shake his head. “Moving to the dark side, baby?”

“Uh, blackmail is such a nasty word. I’d say I _convinced_ them. These kids nowadays... they need some well-meaning guidance, don’t you think?”

“In dire need, definitely. What did Harley do to deserve such loving attention?” Pacey had immense difficulty with keeping a straight face. At least he didn’t feel as tired as a few moments ago.

“Well, I found Patrick in Harley’s closet... and he wasn’t wearing much... and Hetson was under the impression that Harley was spending her afternoons in the church’s choir rehearsals. Seriously, what teenager does that?”

“What? Hiding naked in their girlfriend’s closet... or singing in a choir. Although, maybe that’s just a new euphemism for the first?”

Joey gasped, “Pig!”

“We established that, all men are pigs. In Patrick’s case though, he’s more like a shoat.”

Joey cocked her head to the side and grinned, “Nah, he’s not even that. Maybe he is _trying_ to be like that, all macho, chauvinist... whatever, but he’s just an insecure boy who doesn’t really know yet what he wants or how to get it.” She paused and gazed out of the window. “Y’know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I know. Believe me, I do,” Pacey sighed and more or less unknowingly tightened his arm around her shoulder. “See, I guess that’s just the other side of the secret. Men _act_ like chauvinist pigs, but we only do that, well... because we just have absolutely no idea or clue of how to get what we want otherwise. Or of how to appear like we know what we’re doing all the time.”

“And... does that change... at all? At some time? I mean, are you still... doubting yourself? And I’m not talking about the fallout with Rich, because you’ve no reason to fret about that, even if you didn’t act very professional at that moment, it was him who overreacted.”

“Whoa, Jo... breathe, will ya?” Pacey chuckled but a hint of uneasiness was in his voice as well. He had no idea of how their joking turned into a kind of psychoanalysis and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know it, much less than continuing the discussion with this direction at all.

Joey was silent, clearly expecting an answer from him and knew from experience that she wasn’t about to let the topic slip. Another thing he chalked up to her mule-like stubbornness and one of the reasons he loved her, of course not so much when this special character trait was aimed at him.

“Umm, doesn’t everybody do that? Regardless of the sex? I think self-doubt is very human, no?”

“It is,” Joey consented slowly as if she didn’t want to scare him away. “It’s not like I wouldn’t doubt myself now and then, but... there’s a difference between that and... obsessing, thinking that you’re just not good enough in every respect.”

“You _are_ obsessing about your grades, though.” No, he really wasn’t fond of this conversation.

“Yeah, I do, don’t I?” Joey smiled lopsidedly and guiltily tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hey, I’ve improved though. I’m not constantly fearing that the sky’s gonna fall on my head if I don’t get an A for a paper.”

“Who’d have thought you’d fall for my little Asterix collection... where has the world come to? Joey Potter, literary genius, is quoting from a comic!” Pacey laughed, momentarily forgetting the current topic.

“It’s an educational comic series... everything you know about European culture and history, sweetheart, you learnt from that comic and don’t deny that. You had some difficulty with realizing the exaggerations and elements of caricature in them, though,” Joey countered and let her tongue peek out behind her teeth. “I’m way more surprised that you even bothered to read it...”

“Hey, it was a gift... the first one at least and it is a comic, Jo... talking pictures... what difference does it make if it’s Donald Duck comics or Batman or... Superman?”

“Good point, but I doubt that Donald gets translated into Latin...”

“Olea iacta est...” Pacey sputtered happily.”

“Ohhh, I’m impressed, Pace... but it’s _alea_ iacta est, not olea. One letter can make all the difference in Latin, change the whole meaning, tense.”

“Oh boy, you’re probably the only one who regards comics as seriously as you do,” Pacey groaned.

“No I’m not, actually a lot of researchers and scientists are interested in them. Just take the hieroglyphs for example, you could consider them being related to our comics nowadays. Anyway, you didn’t get that quote from a Donald Duck comic,” Joey teased. “Do you know what it means after all?”

“As a matter of fact, I do actually: the die is cast. There, see... I know what I’m talking about and didn’t Dagobert used to say that?” Pacey raised his brows, broaching the subject again.

“Oh my, are we really discussing comics now?” Joey rolled her eyes but laughed.

“You started that, besides...”

“Besides, that’s totally not the point here. You’re just trying to start a hare here. We’re talking about self-doubt, remember?”

“You really don’t forget anything, do you?” Pacey sighed.

“Nope, I remember everything.”

A genuine smile lighted Pacey’s face before it slowly vanished again. “I truly don’t know the answer to that, Jo. It’s not like the past days did anything to stop me from doubting myself.” He swallowed and turned his eyes away from her. Maybe that was a little macho, but he couldn’t stand to see any pity in her eyes.

“Every time I think something’s going well for me I get stones thrown right into my way. Without wanting to rehash all the times and situations... those obstacles are not bound to a specific part of my life, not to my education, my job, my person, my friends... my heart... it’s just everywhere.”

Joey closed her eyes. The bitterness in his voice wasn’t to be missed and she knew that she had contributed to it herself. No matter how much had happened since then, regardless of what she would do to change things in the future, there was no way to alter the past. What’s done is done and can’t be revoked. Time might soften some of the blows life gave you, but the scars, visible and invisible would remain. Some more prominent than others for sure, but they would be there.

“So I’m sorry, but yeah, I doubt myself. Not as much as I used to do and it would be easy to say that I have to thank you for that, but it wouldn’t be true,” Pacey tilted his head, glancing at Joey. He wasn’t surprised to find her with an expression of guilt and sadness.

Quietly he continued as he reached for her hand, entwining her fingers to show her that he wasn’t blaming her, “When I left... after prom, I left to sort myself out. I needed to take care of myself for once and for nobody else. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to deal with my problems, but in a way it worked, you know? And now, it means so much to me that you’re standing behind me, next to me, whatever I’m doing, no matter what happens, I know that you’re there. That _we_ are there and that’s my tower. In my opinion you can only trust yourself if _you_ trust yourself. That’s not something anybody else can do for you. Sure, other people can tell you that it’s not your fault if things are getting sour. Sure, it helps when your loved-ones support you, but in the end you’ll only be able to accept that and go on if you believe in yourself. And... I’m on my way, Jo. Every day a little more. See, I’m not running away, am I?”

Pacey paused and quipped, “Well, okay, I might have run a few days ago... but I didn’t run away. I’ll admit that I was falling after what happened with Rich, after I lost that money, but... this time I’m determined not to drown in those self-doubts. I’m fighting and I’m here. I’m not perfect, I never will be. In short,” he took a deep breath and put his finger under Joey’s chin, lifting it gently, “I’m not your Stepford-kind-of-guy, but I’m not a loser either. I’m... me... and I think I like me...”

“I love you,” Joey whispered, pressing her cheek against Pacey’s open palm.

Smiling brightly Pacey bent forward and brushed his lips against hers. Another chapter of their story just proved itself to be not as bad as expected.

 

~*~

 

“Was it really necessary to haul us down here on a Friday?” Harley moaned and stared morosely out of the window. “Where is _here_ anyway? Some godforsaken whistle-stop in the Massachusetts pampa?”

“No slagging of our good ole’ Capeside... or you’ll find yourself on a really godforsaken place, sunshine,” Pacey eyed her meaningfully through the rearview mirror.

“As if there was any more boring place...” Harley huffed, hitting Patrick’s arm. “You could say something, too, you know?”

“What? It’s not that bad...” Patrick shrugged. He really didn’t see any problem in spending a full week with Harley, unsupervised from any parental force, on the Cape.

“Oh please! You shouldn’t be talking at all, seeing that it was your fault that we’ve gotten into this!”

“Right, because you wouldn’t have anything to with that particular situation!” Patrick yelled frustrated. “You invited me over, you darkened the lights and you put the damn ballads on replay.”

“And you had to turn up the volume so that we couldn’t hear anybody entering the house and oh, yeah, it was your brilliant idea to hide in that damn closet!”

Joey rolled her eyes, tempted to put her hands over her poor ears. “What place did you have in mind, Pace?”

“Don’t you think a night on Witch’s Island would cure them?” Pacey suggested with a smirk although the memory wasn’t one he appreciated much.

“Could be...,” Joey nodded, inwardly shaking as she recalled the events from a few years ago.

“Witch’s Island? See, Harlequin that sounds interesting, doesn’t it?” Patrick suggested cheerfully.

“Uh-huh, like your everyday urban legend, only... oops... this isn’t an urban area at all,” Harley gesticulated wildly before abruptly stopping. “And don’t call me _Harlequin_ ever again! You know that I hate that!”

“Nah, you love it. Everybody loves pet names... and what’s so wrong with a clown? Everybody loves clowns,” Patrick stated nonchalantly. He really didn’t see any problems with his choice of endearment and he really thought it was more than fitting. It resembled her name, she made him laugh, she was fun to be with and ever since his fourth birthday he connected clowns with the best time he had.

“Have you ever seen _It_?” Harley crossed her arms and scooted to the far corner of the backseat.

“It?” Patrick frowned, having absolutely no clue what she was talking about. “A clown? Sure, lots of...”

“Not clowns... doofus, the movie. Steven King... _It_ the oh so nice and lovely clown who kills little kids, dragging them down the darkest sewer tunnels?” Harley seemed really anxious, something that didn’t fit with her otherwise ‘cool chick’ image.

“That’s what they invented the label PG-R for,” Joey turned around in her chair and looked sympathetically at her prof’s daughter. For once she finally was the teenager she had every right to be, but what she ceased to be on the surface ever since her mother left her and her dad alone.

Maybe Hetson’s idea of asking her to tutor his daughter wasn’t just a ploy to supervise her a little, but rather an attempt to provide her with some sort of female influence, a role model, or simply a person she could turn to with questions she probably wasn’t comfortable discussing with her father.

“And Patrick,” Joey directed her glance at the boy who visibly slumped down in his seat at her reprimanding tone. “A pet name should be something both of you like and you have to respect Harley. Find another nickname, be creative... and who says there can only be one?”

Tilting her head back to Harley, she suggested grinning, “If he doesn’t listen just pay him back equally. That usually works wonders.”

Harley considered this for a moment and suddenly her face lit up like a Christmas tree. “So whenever you call me by that name... I’ll call you Patty-from-the-block,” she grinned extremely satisfied with the dismal expression on Patrick’s face.

 

~*~

 

“So, here we go,” Pacey parked his car just off Main Street, behind the video store.

“Oh joy,” Harley mocked but her whole demeanor had changed significantly. Much to her own surprise she loved the Potter’s B&B and the creek right in front of it. The soft breeze from the water provided a nice cooling, something she could only dream about in their Bostonian suburb. Truth to be told, she was even more looking forward to filming.

Joey sighed and squinted against the bright sunlight. After all the organizing and scheduling she was afraid that the actual thing would somehow go wrong in the last moment. They didn’t have time for extensive rehearsal sessions but had to jump right in, hoping to get it right in a minimum of time.

Pacey caught her fleeting expression of worry and slung his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him. “Stop fretting, sweetie. You and Audrey went through your master plan hundreds of times. Everything will be fine.”

“Yeah, but... there are so many...unforeseeable complications that could arise...so many things that could go wrong and...” Joey wrapped her own arm around Pacey’s waist, wishing she could somehow hide herself in him and only peeking out every now and then.

“Hush, knock on wood ... do whatever those theater people do before their performance, but I know that nothing will go wrong. Relax and think about how lucky we are that we’re on the other side of the camera this time. It’s our turn to shoo them around,” Pacey chuckled and stepped back to move her into their well-practiced and beloved knot.

Patrick was strangely silent and studied the seemingly easy way Joey and Pacey fell into step with each other, regardless what they were doing and he envied them. Taking a deep breath he suddenly reached for Harley’s hand, awkwardly holding it in his own.

His out-of-the-blue PDA startled Harley for a second, but then she laced her hand with his and smiled at him.

“There you are!” Audrey exclaimed extremely flustered. “You’re late. How can you leave me alone for so long, Joey? I’m supposed to act, to check the set-up, answer questions of our supes ... I need help!”

“Calm down, Aud. I’m here now and we’re not that late, are we?” Joey glanced at her watch, ducking instinctively as she realized that they were almost thirty minutes late. “Okay, we’re late. I’m sorry.”

“You’d better be! And you-know-who hasn’t shown up either.”

“Gale is meeting him at the airport...” Joey explained as she took the big red folder from Audrey’s hand. “Maybe you should take that bathrobe off, it’s way to hot out here in the sun,” she couldn’t help but stare at Audrey’s outfit.

“Oh really? Tell that to my maybe-boyfriend, who in his sexist male mind made me wear some nearly non-existent, see-through version of a dress! I cannot take this fucking robe off, not right in the middle of Capeside!” Audrey huffed and narrowed her eyes on Joey just for suggesting it in the first place.

“See-through?” Patrick peered up, cocking his head to the side and giving Audrey the typical once-over while momentarily forgetting that his own girlfriend was standing right beside him.

The reminder followed tout de suite in the form of a not so light hit upside down his head and a sing-songed humming of ‘Patty of the block’.

“Well,” Pacey chuckled, not quite sure which of the current conversations was the funniest, and stepped away from Joey before muttering, “it’s Miss Jacobs after all... and she did wear such a dress when we met first at the store.”

“Did she now, huh?” Joey rebuked him good naturedly, but Pacey knew that if he had been standing closer, he would have suffered the same fate as Patrick.

Sending his most famous, mega-watt smile innocently towards Joey, he succeeded in rounding Audrey without any bodily harm and walked up behind Patrick, who rubbed his head. “It’s all about the jinks, buddy... you have to know how far you can go... and then... how fast to get out of their reach.”

“Jailbait, consider wisely if it’s such a good idea to ill-advise young, impressionable kids like that... you might find yourself right where you wanted to send them not so long ago,” Joey announced sweetly.

“Umm... I’m not doing anything, my dear ice-queen.”

“Right, or... you might see your way to the couch tonight. You know... jinks and all...”

Pacey’s eyes widened. Somehow everything was just a question of perspective, because at that moment a night on Witch’s Island seemed much less horrible than a night where he was denied to have Joey in his bed, lying next to him.

“Umm, right, then... you didn’t hear anything, right, buddy?” Pacey patted Patrick’s shoulder and hurried back to Joey, kissing her cheek.

 

~*~

 

It was way past noon and Joey felt like crying. The saying about needing the dress rehearsal to resemble the ultimate worst-case-scenario in order to make the premiere a glowing success whirled around in her head and after her day she was more than convinced that it was true.

George, their Dunston impersonator, effectively ruined Audrey’s dress and still he was under the false impression that he, as a proud member of Mr. Gold’s current film class, knew more than everybody else. Actually that qualified him in the first place for the role of Dawson’s alter ego, but he was worse than Dawson could ever have been.

They needed much more time in the video store, which made the owner go berserk. Something that only Jen’s charm and the prospect of having lunch with her was able to calm him down.

They were running out of time and they were already way behind on their very first day of shooting, exactly not what they needed. Dawson freaked out hours ago, was cured by something Audrey did to him and what Joey never wanted to be informed about. Although his mood was vastly improved after that ‘thing’ she did, it didn’t last long enough to be productive for the movie.

In short they were still at square one, right were they had started without any progress minus a few props and minus six to eight hours of time.

Easing himself behind Joey’s slumped form, Pacey carefully set the two cups of coffee down on the pavement before his arms went around her waist and nuzzled her neck, “What did I miss?”

Joey sighed and snuggled herself further into his chest. It was amazing that although she hadn’t heard him come closer, she wasn’t startled, just as if she or her body was able to sense it was him.

“You didn’t miss anything, except maybe an ugly headache... or two... or three.”

“That bad, huh? No progress at all?” Pacey whispered as he moved his left hand away from her middle to lightly massage her temple.

“Only reverse progress... mhmmm that feels sooo good,” she moaned almost catlike.

“You should take a break, baby.”

“A break from what? From doing next to nothing?” Joey couldn’t help but giggle.

“Yeah, it can be pretty grueling, doing nothing... lazing around,” he smiled as he felt her relax. “And to help you even more with that, I came bearing your favorite goodies...”

“Cappuccino and chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice-cream?” she asked with an excited hopefulness.

“Uh... partly, I have cappuccino and chocolate-chip-cookies. The ice-cream would have died on me on the way over here. Good enough?” Pacey chuckled as Joey sighed and slowly tilted her head to check on the treats he brought her.

“Yeah, for now, that’s perfect. Thank you.” Turning her head upwards she kissed him, expressing her appreciation way better than she could have vocalized.

“My pleasure,” he managed to mutter before he took advantage of her parted lips to deepen their kiss.

“Joey... god, do you two have to do that here?” Dawson cried annoyed. “We have work to do and it was you who started this.”

Sighing Joey blinked a few times in the general direction from which his voice wafted over to them, interrupting her blissful break from nothing.

“If we _were_ working...”

“That’s so not my fault!” Dawson grumbled, running his hand nervously through his hair. Somehow it felt as if he had lost that magic touch of filmmaking or maybe he never had it in him.

As if on cue, that is, to stop anyone from saying anything that would offend somebody else in whatever way, because on days like these it was only a question of time until frustration unloaded itself to the next best victim, a very happy sounding voice, colored by its unmistakable British accent, wafted over to them.

“Hello, hello, hello, hello. Why are we not filming here, Leery?” Todd strode into the scene, closely followed by Gale who seemed a tad exhausted, probably overwhelmed buy his British charm.

Being the professional he was, a quick glance was enough for Todd to assess the scenery. “The light is perfect, although not for long anymore. The leading lady,” he paused, wrapping his arm around Audrey while tugging at her robe, “is perfect. Time is money... oh, I forgot – we don’t have any, my bad.”

“What the hell are you doing here, Carr?” Dawson finally asked, slowly, since he had momentarily lost the ability to form the simplest word.

“Well, for reasons unknown to me, you’re blessed with this sexy mom of yours, plus hot, leggy brunettes,” he blinked at Joey, “and this intoxicating blonde siren, who made an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

Gale laughed, downplaying her role in their little ploy with a wave of her hand, “All I did was email him the script and pick him up at the airport.”

“It took me two days to bloody download that thing. But when I did, I said this is brilliant. Well, you might like to look into your issue with using too many too big words though, Leery. Anyway, I said this is just the sort of project that Todd needs to be involved with. So I’m here, fully on board, ready to work in whatever menial capacity you may require me,” Todd bowed slightly, waiting for Dawson to show some sort of reaction.

“I... umm... well,” Dawson chuckled, rubbing his hands together, still at a loss of words. “I don’t know what to say. This means so much to me...”

“Duh, Leery... stop buttering me up. You know how I hate that brouhaha,” Todd shook his head in mock disgust.

“Right, uh... well, I could really use a D.P.”

“Done,” Todd nodded, shrugging off his light jacket and draping it over Audrey’s arm.

“And... a camera operator... an authentic camera operator.”

“Done again. Just get me a triple espresso and I’m good to go,” Todd snapped his fingers, looking expectantly at Dawson.

“You know, umm... Todd, I’m the director now,” Dawson frowned, a little irritated with Todd’s usual attitude.

“Right you are... and a damn good one, too.” Todd cleared his throat while pointedly looking around at the unanimous inactivity.

“We’re on a break, nothing but a breather,” Dawson tried to defend himself.

“Yeah, yeah... so about the espresso?”

“I’ll go... no problem,” Joey sighed. All the things they did for saving their friend’s dream. Once they were finished he would owe them big time.

“Joey...?” Audrey waved Todd’s jacket up and down, not quite believing that she was taken for a coat-tree.

“Don’t... don’t even think about it,” Joey advised, shaking her head.

“But..,” Audrey dropped the offending piece of clothing to the bench Joey and Pacey had been sitting on, threw a victorious glance at Todd and followed her friend. In order to survive their brilliant idea, she needed much more coffee, being brewed with creek water be damned.

“All right, listen up people.” Todd clapped his hands together, demanding unrestricted attention. “This man has a movie to shoot, and we’re gonna make it for him or die trying.”

Dawson threw his hands up in defeat. Even if Todd accepted the role of the camera man, he would still act like the director. Casting his eyes in a near plea for help at Pacey, he was met by a humorous shrug.

“They told you, you’d be the cameraman, right?”

 

~*~

 

“I swear, if I never see a camera or Todd for that matter again it’s still too soon,” Jen sighed and slumped down on the old wicker chair.

“You don’t say,” Joey laughed. “No more broccolini instead of plain broccoli. But all his peculiarities aside – Todd is the best thing that could have happened to us, don’t you think? I’m not sure if Dawson could have swung it without him.”

“Yeah, true”, Jen paused and stared off towards the creek. “And on that note, I’m not so sure that filming, in the big style that is, is the right thing for Dawson. I mean, he has all these ideas and all, but when on his own, he seems to lose himself in the work and he can’t focus. Not like Todd does.”

“Practice makes perfect? But you’re right. He never did work good under pressure and yet he always was. Remember when we shot his very first movie back in high school? Our time schedule was so behind everything...”

“Which could have something to do with the fact that you, my dear Joey, weren’t too thrilled with the idea of kissing Pacey.”

“Deep in denial, what can I say?” Joey licked her lips, holding her sides as the laughter wouldn’t want to die down.

“Yeah, blind to what was right before your eyes, but who knows... I’m a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason,” Jen leaned forward to catch a better glimpse at Grams who stood stoically on the Leery’s front lawn.

“Where did that come from? Jen Lindley finally turned into a believer?”

“Uh... a believer doesn’t necessarily have to depend on a certain religion, do they? Anyway, maybe the years have softened me, made me more perceptible to those things between heaven and earth for which we don’t have a purely logic and scientific explanation?”

“Hear, hear,” Joey smiled softly, following the direction of her gaze. “How’s Grams doing?”

“Quite good actually. It’s her week off, but still... she’s doing much better than she usually does in Boston. If I should guess, I’d say it’s because she’s back in Capeside. I don’t know... but since yesterday she’s constantly staring at her old house. She’s up to something, I just know it.”

“You always need something that keeps you going. You know, no matter what it is, but just an incentive to realize that...”

“That there’s a sense to it all and that life’s worth living?” Jen finished for her.

“Yeah, something like that,” Joey nodded approvingly.

Both fell silent for a while, indulging into their respective memories and thinking about what the future might bring. They had a few or rather a lot of those life altering moments, reflections on their lives lately and now that they were close to finishing averting some of them to celluloid, it felt a little bit like closure.

“How’s your Mr. Burkholder – a.k.a. Big Boss – project going?” Jen picked their conversation up again, although comfortable with the stillness, she couldn’t fight her curiosity any longer.

“Oh, that...” Joey grinned happily, letting her tongue peek out and was nearly beaming. “That goes very, very well. I just have to tell Pacey about it, which ... might not go too smoothly. You know, accepting help for something that he blames himself for?”

“Kinda contradicts the knight in shining armor mythology, I know,” Jen clinked her glass of ice-tea with Joey’s.

 

~*~

 

“Hey stranger, we missed you at the wrapping party at Leery’s,” Joey nudged Pacey’s shoulder softly as she sat down next to him.

It was past ten p.m., but the tepid summer night was still illuminated by the fading twilight, sprinkled with the glitter of stars that were reflected by the gentle waves of the creek.

“Uh...yeah, well, I don’t think that _we_ missed me as much as you did maybe,” Pacey muttered, flitting another stone over the water’s surface.

“Pace, don’t do that,” Joey sighed and entwined her hand with Pacey’s. “You have been there all week long, you did so much to acquire sponsors, you helped out with the lighting, with everything and you had to see that Dawson... he doesn’t hate you. He never really did. He was hurt, sad and wrecked that he lost the money he needed for his movie, but we did it. We did it again, sweetheart.”

“I was good for that, I’ll give you that, but... he still lost that money because of me and I... I still lost my job because of me,” Pacey dismissed her attempts to cheer him up. Over the past week he was so busy that he didn’t have much time to dwell on what happened much. Now that he didn’t have anything to do anymore, everything came back to him full force.

“Where did the Pacey go that told me he liked himself?” Joey asked quietly. She had expected him to brood over what he did and how he handled Rich provocations.

“Oh, that Pacey did a reality check and had to acknowledge that he’s unemployed as of late,” Pacey stretched, feeling a little stiff after having spent a good two hours in the same position on the dock.

Playing with Joey’s hand he struggled a little to find the words to verbalize the thoughts that were tormenting him. “I have no idea what to do now, Jo. This past week, I had a task, I had something to do, something that I could do: Talking and selling Dawson’s idea to people with money and now... It’s not like I have an education or a degree to show. And I highly doubt that Rich will give me a recommending confidential report after, well you know after what. Who’s going to employ a guy who starts a fight with his boss and gives him a nice shiner?”

“You didn’t go to college, right, but you did receive on the job training. You passed the stock broker’s exam and excellently I might add. You’re intelligent and you have emotional intelligence as well, which is often so much more important than being able to show off a BA or MA certificate,” Joey pointed out, accentuating her enumeration with determined pokes against Pacey’s leg.

Pacey cleared his throat, blushing slightly, “ Errr, well... thank you, but still...”

“Nothing, Pace. I’m sure you’re not the only one who tangled with Rich for the one reason or another. Okay, you might want to work on your occasional temperamental outbursts, Mr. Hotshot, to forgo unnecessary complications, but... tell me one thing: Do you want to be a stockbroker? Do you like it? Does it give you satisfaction – and don’t you dare to turn that into a something sexual now,” Joey raised her brow warningly as Pacey smirked ambiguously at her last question.

“Satisfaction... through a job, don’t know about that...” Pacey couldn’t help it and earned himself a slap from Joey. “Okay, okay... honestly? As much as I loved working in the restaurant, I never had as much fun as I had as a stockbroker.”

“Then why would you want to give that up, Pace?”

“Because I have no other choice, Jo. That I lost that money was bad enough, but probably something the dust would have settled over after a while. Panhandling money from Rich, humiliating myself like that and topping it off with beating him up while destroying expensive office furniture? I really don’t think I’m the one to choose here.”

Pacey squeezed Joey’s hand and stood up, unable to sit still while discussing his professional options or the lack thereof. Sulking about it on his own was fine in his book, but showing himself so vulnerable in front of her was out of the question. It wasn’t the first time, but it sure didn’t make it easier for him. At least he wasn’t hiding for a change.

“You do know that there are other brokers, right? You wouldn’t have to stay in the same firm,” Joey suggested, following him with her eyes.

“I know, but... at least I can show off the meager successes I had there.”

“So you would go back if you could?” Joey pressed again.

“Well, I... I don’t know. Maybe... no idea. I mean, Rich wouldn’t take me back anyway and...”, Pacey rambled, running his hand through his hair and turning around suddenly. “What’s up with this interrogation? We broached this subject before, so why are you so eager about it now?” his eyes narrowed on hers, trying to read what the chocolate orbs were trying to tell him.

“Uhmm, well... promise not to flip out?” Joey worried her bottom lip, now that she had to reveal her other project she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Jo...” Pacey frowned, having absolutely no idea what her behavior was implying.

“Promise?”

Sighing he raised his hands and shrugged, “Okay, I promise... just tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, I was, well, I... called Mr. Burkholder.” There, she had said it.

Pacey stared at her, opening his mouth and closing it again. Stepping closer to her, his arms flapped helplessly through the air. If he understood her correctly, she had called his boss, that is _the_ big boss, asking him to take him back? He was at a loss for words _and_ emotion, or rather there were way too many emotions running through him to settle on just one. Confusion, embarrassment, wonder, surprise, insecurity, bewilderment and all those synonyms that could express the very same sentiments but were made for an intellectual wise guy. He could maybe pinpoint his frame of mind by deciding on a single sensation, but to do that, he would actually have to think, which wasn’t possible due to that chaos in his head.

So the best he could muster was a monosyllabic, “Huh?”

Joey lowered her head, biting down hard on her lower lip. This wasn’t going too well, not that she had expected anything else. In fact, if she were walking in Pacey’s shoes at this moment, she’d probably shove herself in the creek or kill herself of embarrassment, which ever was easier to do... or maybe she would do both.

“Umm, well... you do remember Mr. Burkholder, don’t you?” Yes, she was digging her own grave at a breakneck speed.

Pacey closed his eyes, trying to remember the basic 101 of breathing and finally sat down again. Facing Joey who stared off into space, he asked very slowly, “What did you do, Joey?”

Joey. He didn’t use Jo, or even Josephine, but Joey. Cringing at his strained tone she suddenly wished she hadn’t done anything to begin with. It was too late for such resentments though.

“I...ahem...” clearing her throat was a pitiful attempt at buying a little time for an explanation that had sounded very convincing in theory, but had evaporated into thin air the second she had started to speak.

“I called Becky the other day. Well, you just disappeared and everybody was worried about you... not showing up for work and... the rumors about Rich and yours brawl. So I thought, you know... I’d call to say that you were a little...indisposed currently, since technically you’re not fired, right? I mean, I know that Rich said that, but does he even have the authority to decide that?”

“Mr. Burkholder...Joey?” Pacey insisted, thinking that he would go stark raving mad any second now.

“Yes, right. So, I called Becky and the first thing she said to me was that Mr. Burkholder wanted to talk to you. He had actually tried to get you on the phone before and left a message with Becky. She gave me the number of his office in New York, I guess that’s where your firm’s headquarter is, right?”

Pacey nodded tiredly and just shy of shaking Joey so that she could get to the point at last.

“Right, so I called him... because you, well... you weren’t up to that, I guess, but he wasn’t there. I don’t know, he was on a business trip or whatever, so I left my number with his secretary and then... remember the call I got the night when we were planning the shooting at Leery’s?” Joey waited a beat to see Pacey nod yet again.

“Keep going,” Pacey encouraged a touch friendlier than before.

He was still totally and utterly confused but if he kept quiet for the time being, maybe, just maybe Joey could shed some light on what was happening and obviously had been happening behind his back.

_Keep going._

Joey involuntarily smiled at the choice of his words as she remembered a very similar conversation from two years ago. She hoped she’d be allowed to hear a variation of his ' _You got me'_ , too.

“So, that was him then and he still wants to talk to you. Of course he heard about what happened and he was surprised that you missed work without any explanation. And I... I told him that some... family crisis forced you to... go home for a week...” she paused, wringing her hands, “and that you forgot to give notice to the office.”

“Family crisis?” Pacey’s lips morphed into a tiny, but still amused smile. Maybe Joey’s intervention wasn’t as bad or embarrassing as he had feared.

“Yeah, what was I to say? That you mimicked an ostrich?” Joey giggled nervously.

“And what kind of family crisis did you make up for me, Jo?”

“Well, I hope you won’t be offended, but sadly... your father suffered a setback and since he wasn’t insightful enough to listen to the doctor’s orders, you had to make sure that he complies.”

“That wasn’t very nice, you know? You don’t joke about other people’s health,” Pacey chided her.

“I know that, Pacey... but I thought about what to tell him ever since Becky informed me that he wants to talk to you. And... well, it seemed to be the best and most plausible alibi, especially since they already knew about your father’s actual illness,” Joey paled. In the heat of the moment, she hadn’t considered the implications. She wasn’t really superstitious, but she could kick herself that she ignored Pacey’s feelings for his father.

“Jo, don’t worry, it’s okay... my daddy dearest will survive your little white lie,” Pacey chuckled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. “You know, for a moment I thought you had...”

“Begged him to let my boyfriend keep his job?” Joey joined his laughter and shook her head dismissively. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you, sweetie. Although it’s pretty much it, since I kinda saved you your job by covering your unexcused absence.”

“And I guess I should thank you for that... if there’s really still a job waiting for me,” Pacey inhaled deeply. The chaos started to sort itself out, but he was still lost with all the new possibilities.

“That’s exactly what you’ll have to find out when you go and talk with Mr. Burkholder, sweetie.”

“I’m meeting him?” Pacey frowned. It was like every second there was new information or a twist to the situation at hand and if he blinked just once, he would miss the connection.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot that. He’ll be in Boston on Monday and wants to meet you for dinner. I said that we would definitely be back by Monday afternoon.”

“Monday? This Monday?” Pacey’s eyes widened in shock. “That’s in two days, Jo”

“Yep, I know.”

“And you wanted to inform me... when?”

“I just did, didn’t I?” Joey raised her brows, smirking innocently.

“And you couldn’t have told me like... when he called you last Sunday?” Pacey ran his hand through his hair, feeling a headache developing. Maybe it would have been better if he had attended the party, then he could at least blame too much alcohol for it.

“No, you weren’t ready then, sweetheart,” Joey curled into Pacey’s side, happy that he wasn’t set to kill her anymore.

“Probably right,” Pacey kissed her temple and turned his eyes back to the darkening creek.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes he recapitulated their conversation, already thinking about what his big boss could probably want from him when a big smile adorned his face, “What was that again? I have emotional intelligence? I thought you said I was emotionally retarded?”

Joey straightened and sat up to move herself on Pacey’s lap. “Yes, see... hope dies last.”

 

~*~

 

“Do I look good?” Pacey asked uncertain, turning in front of the mirror and plucking an invisible mote from his dark blue business suit.

Joey sat cross-legged in the center of their bed and rolled her eyes. “You know, you’re making me wonder which of the Witter brother’s is the closet case here.”

“Huh?” Pacey turned around to face her, tugging at his cuffs to get them to peek out of his jacket at exactly the right amount.

“You’ve been literally twirling in front of that mirror for twenty minutes, sweetie. Trying on numerous ties, going back to the first one and now you’re acting like your average girl. Do the math, Sherlock.”

“Oh fine, I’m happy that you’re having fun. Do I have to remind you, that we just came home and that I’ve known about this meeting for not even forty-eight hours and that this meeting could be very, very important for me?” Pacey scowled slightly irritated.

“Yes, I know all that,” Joey sighed and re-arranged her legs that felt a little stiff after having been locked in the same position for a while. “Stop worrying so much, Pace.” Pushing herself up from the bed she walked over to him and adjusted his tie before smoothing her hands over his chest.

“You look very good, very respectable and very sexy... so it’s really good that your boss won’t take notice of that aspect,” she chuckled, smiling even wider as he relaxed and turned the corners of his mouth upwards.

“Sexy, huh? I knew you had a thing for me in a suit.”

“I have a thing for you, no matter what you’re wearing, or not wearing...” Joey whispered into his ear and softly nibbled at his earlobe.

Letting his eyes slip shut, Pacey allowed himself to revel in the sensation she was creating deep within him. “Jo, baby... we don’t have time to...”

“I know, I couldn’t resist... you’re not only looking quite dashing, you’re smelling irresistible, too.”

“Uh... hold that thought for two hours or so?” Pacey mumbled already feeling more than affected.

“’Kay, will do that. Now go and impress that boss of yours.” Joey rose to her tiptoes and pressed a big kiss on his lips.

Tightening his arms around her for a second, Pacey inhaled her scent deeply, gathering his strength just from her presence. “And keep your fingers crossed, too, yeah?”

 

~*~

 

Pacey sat at their reserved table, waiting for his boss and nursing a glass of formerly ice-cold water. The ice-cubes had long since melted through his body heat seeping from his hands, which were tightly holding on to the glass.

When confirming the appointment with Mr. Burkholder, Joey had arranged that they would meet in _their_ little restaurant. It was fancy enough to impress and meanwhile intimate enough to provide Pacey with the security of a familiar surrounding.

He had arrived earlier, just in case and now he was checking the door every time he heard the melodic chime of its bells.

Over the past few days he hadn’t been able to stop mulling over why Mr. Burkholder wanted to see him after what happened. Why he would even consider keeping him in the firm, if he was at all. Joey had assured him close to the hundredth time that she really didn’t know what his boss was up to, that she could only point out possibilities and this persisting uncertainty was getting on his nerves to say the least.

Besides all that, he couldn’t gainsay that the simple fact that Joey had been working on helping him at the same time as she was helping Dawson was captivating and electrifying all at once.

It wasn’t like he had felt inferior when helping Dawson to shoot his movie, especially not since it was at least partly his fault that he lost the means to produce it, but knowing that Joey didn’t put Dawson before him, that she did everything she could to help him as well showed him that this time was definitely their time.

“Pacey, good evening. I’m glad we were able to get together tonight,” a voice suddenly interrupted Pacey’s musings and when he looked up, he recognized his boss as the owner of it.

“Mr. Burkholder,” rising from his chair, Pacey offered his hand. “It’s my pleasure. Thank you for meeting me.”

“That’s quite a nice restaurant here... your...girlfriend suggested.” Mr. Burkholder shook Pacey’s hand, giving it a squeeze and sat down in the chair opposite to him.

“Yeah, Joey loves it.” Pacey took a deep breath and sank back on his own chair. It was time to face the music – he just wasn’t sure if he’d like the genre.

“I hope your father is out of the woods by now? I was very sorry to hear about his condition. Sadly that’s more common among us older men that one would like to acknowledge.”

“Yes, he’s feeling much better now,” Pacey affirmed and he wasn’t even lying. “He’s sometimes simply too stubborn for his own good and doesn’t like to submit to somebody else, even if it is a doctor.” Again that was no lie at all.

The next couple of minutes were filled with incidental chitchat, your typical small talk, covering everything from the weather to the scenic merits of the Cape, even touching the topic of sailing, something they discovered to have in common.

Shortly after they ordered their choice of dinner and the waitress delivered their drinks, Mr. Burkholder nodded more to himself than to Pacey, leaned back in the chair and folded his hands on the table.

Recognizing this behavioral patterns as the sign that their conversation was about to drift into serious topics, Pacey took a deep breath, mentally steeling himself for what was to come. To say that he was nervous would have been the understatement of the year.

“Well, Pacey, I have to say that we were a little concerned when you disappeared from our radar without so much as a notice.” Mr. Burkholder raised his hand, silencing Pacey who immediately wanted to respond. “Now, I know about your family situation, which is very understandable, but if it weren’t for your girlfriend, your unexplained absence wouldn’t look very good for you.”

“I know and I’m very sorry...” Pacey straightened, trying to apologize for what he saw as the minor point of his recent misdemeanors.

“Good. Our job, our profession is all about trust, Pacey. We expect our customers to give us their hard earned dollars so that we can invest them in the best way we think is possible. That’s simply not achievable without trust. I’m even inclined to think in terms of faith here, which starts in the smallest unit of our firm. So, in order for our customers to trust in us, we have to put the same confidence in our members, our employees and that starts with being punctual, loyal and accessible, that is... available to work with us and for us,” he paused, studying the expression on Pacey’s face. Although he didn’t have that much direct contact with he young man, he instantly took a liking to him when they first met.

In a way he reminded him of himself. Times had changed since he started out as a young stockbroker. Back then there was no need for everybody to have attended college and university, to have a degree, that was in his opinion nothing but a paper, something that attested to someone’s theoretical abilities and didn’t say anything about personality. He never went to college, learned the ropes on the job. He had fond memories himself of getting the hang of the business from his elders after he had spent several years employed in a bank.

Pacey lowered his eyes contritely. He had no idea what to say or if he was expected to reply at all. He felt like he was being scolded, but in a loving way, close to how a father would do.

The arrival of their dinner plates interrupted the discussion momentarily, as exchanged comments only praised the tasty food. The invention of business lunches or dinners was worth being nominated to rank at the top of each and every manmade creation – at least in Pacey’s mind. First those meetings fulfilled the necessary supply of nutrition, second it enabled both parties to take a breather in between the courses and third a good meal was bound to satisfy and consequently make one happy and content. In short everything was easier with a little help of food.

“So, now that we have _that_ out of the way, Pacey, I’m sure you know that we have to discuss something else.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that,” Pacey licked his lips. Cue the music.

“Well, let’s not beat around the bush here. That, how shall we put it, quarrel between Rich and you, that got a little out of hand the other day, well, as you can imagine, that is public knowledge in the office by now. I’ve never given much credit to rumors as they tend to get bigger with every person that’s adds to them. I heard Rich’s story and now I want to hear yours.”

“Yeah,” Pacey nodded and put his fork down. “It was... I guess the whole day was a disaster. Stepatech flopped big time and I... maybe I was still too fresh in the business and I made the mistake of investing money for a... childhood friend. Needless to say I lost that, too. I’ll spare you the details, but I was asking Rich to help me out so that I could at least give my friend his active capital back,” Pacey paused, biting the insides of his cheeks.

Mr. Burkholder hadn’t said anything, he didn’t even let show what he was thinking. He simply sat there, listening attentively and continued eating as if completely unfazed. Nevertheless he made eye-contact when Pacey stopped talking and nodded almost imperceptible, indicating him to go on.

“That was more than unprofessional, I know that. I even knew it while I was asking for a credit. One word lead to another, some vulgarities were exchanged and then my temper got the best of me. I’m very sorry for that and I’d like to apologize for acting so unrespectable. I’ll bear the consequences, of course, and if I might say this, I was really surprised that you still wanted to talk to me. As far as I understand, I literally got the boot,” Pacey exhaled, casting his eyes downwards, not able to face his boss directly at that moment.

“Well,” Mr. Burkholder nodded again and Pacey had to blink a few times to get the image of one of those bobble-head dogs out of his mind. Dabbing the corners of his mouth with the napkin, he smiled and continued, “I know that Rich threatened you were pink-slipped, but he isn’t quite authorized to decide that.”

Pacey frowned, having difficulty digesting that piece of information.

“After listening to your point of view to this incident, I have to say that you, Mr. Witter, seem to be much more professional than Mr. Rinaldi,” Mr. Burkholder shook his head pensively. “You didn’t badmouth on your superior, or on any of your colleagues, which is the biggest no-no for me.”

Pacey swallowed thickly as his mind was reeling with the turn their conversation had just taken. “Oh.”

“You were right nevertheless with the evaluation that your behavior wasn’t very professional. All of us make mistakes, though, and we’re learning from them,” Mr. Burkholder smiled warmly. “I was talking about personality before and Pacey, when I mentioned the importance of trust, you should know that personality is the key to create trust within our customers. If they like you, if they feel good about you, you win them. If not, they might take the chances once, but not a second time. While you were absent one of your newer clients refused to close a deal with any of our other brokers. Customer loyalty, Pacey. You see, I can’t very well forgo you and your input to our firm. You are a greenhorn in the business, there’s no question about that, but you’re a greenhorn with potential.”

“I.. I don’t know quite what to say here,” Pacey stuttered, taken aback by surprise and a hint of pride.

“You could start with saying ‘thank you’ and end with ‘I’ll be at my desk tomorrow,” Mr. Burkholder suggested with a smirk.

The semblance of a smile on Pacey’s face faltered when he hesitated for a moment. “As much as I’d love to say just that, I’m not sure what... ummm, Rich’s reaction would be.”

“Although this shouldn’t be a reason of hindrance for you at all, I don’t think you’d have to be apprehensive about working with Mr. Rinaldi, since you won’t come across him in the office.”

“No? I sure hope he ...” Pacey frowned as he absent mindedly dried his sweating palms with the napkin.

“No, no... don’t worry. We’re expanding and we decided to establish an assessment center in New York. Rich may have his peculiarities, but he is the perfect man to recruit new and promising candidates for our firm. Working with customers is not what I would call his forte. Sorting the wheat from the chaff on the other hand is what he was born for.”

“Rich is in New York?” Pacey asked but actually only tried to convince himself.

“Yes. See, we help our employees as much as we can. We support them, we care about them and we promote their abilities,” Mr. Burkholder stated before tilting his head to the side, glancing at Pacey. “I’ll be in Boston for another day, so, what will it be Pacey? See you at work tomorrow?” offering his hand, since he believed in sealing an agreement with a handshake, he waited expectantly.

 

~*~

 

Joey sat huddled on the couch, carefully trying not to rumple her dress too much and checking the clock every other minute. It had been over two hours since Pacey left for the dinner meeting and even considering the time he would need to travel back and forth she thought it was time for him to get home.

She wasn’t worried about the outcome of the parley with Mr. Burkholder, but she was anxious to see Pacey completely happy again and she wanted to celebrate with him. Right after he had left the apartment she had hurriedly wolfed a sandwich so that she wouldn’t starve while dressing up and setting the mood. She had been ready for over an hour and still he wasn’t back. Listlessly zapping through the channels she couldn’t find something that at least temporarily roused her interest.

Switching the TV off, she grabbed the phone and walked over to the windows. Hell’s Kitchen was busy as usual and people were still crowding the sidewalks but there was no sign of Pacey at all.

Joey leaned against the windowsill and dialed, barely waiting until the receiver was picked up on the other end.

“I hate waiting,” she stated animatedly and continued to stare at the street.

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re not helping. I said that I _hate_ waiting,” Joey repeated disgruntled with the less then enthusiastic response she was receiving.

“Yeah, I heard that. Don’t we all?”

“Jen...” Joey whined.

“Joey...” Jen mimicked her friend.

“He’s not home yet and I’m bored.”

“Oh I think I got that,” Jen giggled. “When was that dinner again? At seven?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s only a quarter past nine. What did you expect? Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon,” Jen assured her calmly.

“What are you doing?” Joey asked not even taking her eyes away from her vantage point.

“Third Watch,” Jen replied dryly. She hated to be interrupted in her weekly routine.

“But... that’s a repeat,” Joey rolled her eyes. “And it’s a crime show... you already know what’s going to happen.”

“So what... guys in tight uniforms and glimpses at my lovely hometown. Can’t you read a book or something?” Jen grumbled.

“No, tried that ages ago. I can’t concentrate.”

“Surf the internet,” Jen narrowed her eyes, using every polite and understanding fiber in her to not hang up on Joey.

“I’d have to go upstairs and then I can’t see when Pacey’s coming back,” Joey sighed, pressing her forehead against the cool windowpane.

“You know that you’re being asinine right now, don’t you?”

“I know...” Joey paused, checking the clock once again. “I’m sorry but since Jack isn’t here for me to bother, what can I do?”

“Right, because you’d be so _happy_ if he was there and not visiting Andie in Italy, huh? Please. You’re ecstatic about the fact that you two will have the apartment all to yourself for the next three weeks. For which I demand each and every naughty update by the way.”

“I guess I owe you one or two,” Joey giggled.

“One or two?” Jen cried appalled at Joey’s offer. “Don’t you understand me? I’m talking about _every_ dirty little secret here. You interrupted my show, I’m single again... you simply owe it to me!”

“Uh...”Joey frowned and then a big smile tilted her lips upwards. “Oh..., Jen, I have to go. He’s here!”

Before Jen could utter a single syllable she only heard the click of Joey’s phone and sighed, “Back to you, Coby Bell.”

 

~*~

 

Pacey opened the door, ready to call out for Joey when he noticed that the apartment was only dimly lit. The light under the wall cabinets in the kitchen was on, but only a few candles illuminated the living room area.

He didn’t miss the two champagne glasses and the cooler sitting on the kitchen island and it certainly didn’t escape his notice that Joey was leaning against the back of the couch, wearing a sexy nothing of a spaghetti strap summer dress.

“Hey,” he mumbled huskily.

“Hey,” Joey smiled, pushing herself away from the couch. “How did it go?”

“It seems you already know that,” Pacey chuckled and looked around pointedly.

“Was there any doubt?”

“Since when are you all the optimistic type?” Pacey dropped his jacket on one of the bar chairs and walked towards her, meeting her halfway.

“There’s a difference between being optimistic per se and being confident about a sure thing. You’re great at what you’re doing. You always are, whenever you’re passionate about something it’s just a given.” Joey wrapped her arms around his neck. “And your boss had to be blind to not realize it.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Pacey asked against her lips, brushing them softly with his own.

“Mhmmm... maybe, but I never get tired of hearing you say it,” Joey mumbled, capturing his lower lip and teasing it gently.

“I love you,” Pacey said before sliding his tongue against hers.

“Love you, too,” Joey returned his kiss but drew back when he attempted to deepen it. “What do you say, let’s open the champagne? I mean, since everything turned out fine?”

“Fine, yeah... as in I’ll have to be in the office by nine a.m. tomorrow morning,” Pacey sighed a little disappointed at the loss of contact. “And we agreed on declaring the past week as unpaid vacation time, he still believes in your white lie, but I didn’t give notice so that’s okay.”

Pacey filled their glasses and when they said cheers it finally dawned on him that despite all the things that went wrong they had made it through, not only through, but everything they wanted was realized. They were together, they shared an apartment, Joey was attending Worthington, he still had a job that he actually loved, Dawson finished is film on a nearly non-existent budget but in time and edited by a pro and they parted ways on amiable terms.

Joey placed her glass back on the counter and reached for the remote for their cd player, pressing the play key before turning back to Pacey who was nursing his champagne.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something all night...” she whispered as the first sounds of a slow rock song washed over them.

Pacey’s eyes flew to Joey’s, recognizing those meaningful words in a heartbeat. “Yeah?”

“Would you like to dance with me?” Her eyes shimmered in the candlelight and he was barely able to voice his agreement. “I’d love, too.”

 

_You can lose at cards..._  
_You can lose your keys..._  
 _You can lose the house or lose the lease..._  
 _You can lose your car, you can lose the race..._  
 _You can lose your mind or lose your faith..._  
 _Take a look around and hear what I've gotta say:_

 

Pacey put his own glass carelessly down, opened his arms and drew her body close to his. Forgotten were the days where a certain Ms. Pretty had to remind them of touching ribcages or of not casting down ones eyes to stare at their feet.

 

_You can't lose at love._  
_No, you can't lose at love_  
 _You can't lose at love..._  
 _You can't lose at love..._  
 _Chose anything you can dream of_  
 _No, you can't lose at love._

 

They swayed together easily, only guided by the rhythm of the music and their hearts. The way people danced with each other could tell a lot about them. Narrating to what kind of music they were dancing, what their body language was revealing to those who knew how to decipher the signs and creating a story of life. Sometimes it was about love, sometimes about goodbyes but it was never simple, it just appeared to be that way.

Each step, each turn, every move could change the story, but never the essence.

 

  
_We could lose the plot_  
_Or we could lose our way_  
 _But I ain't going to lose_  
 _These ain't good games we're playing_  
 _Let me make you an offer too good to refuse_  
 _No, you can't lose at love_

 

Their movements slowed down as Pacey tightened his right arm around her waist while his left hand tangled in her hair, tilting her head slightly, giving him the perfect access to place small kisses along her jaw-line, trailing up to the corner of her mouth where his tongue sought entrance.

For a while it seemed as if their path had led them away from each other because they neglected to listen to their built-in compass, or maybe those detours were necessary to realize the old proverb that all ways lead to Rome was right.

  
_No, you can't lose at love_  
_You can't lose at love_  
 _You can't lose at love_  
 _Chose anything you can dream of_  
 _But you can't lose at love_

Joey moaned into their kiss, needing and wanting to be even closer to him. Her fingers wandered from the nape of his neck down to the front, blindly fumbling with his notorious tie, smiling victoriously as the fabric gave way.

Dropping it to the floor she made quick work of the tiny buttons on his shirt, impatient to feel him skin to skin and avid to show him how much she loved him.

  
_Now we just might roll a seven, these ain't loaded dice_  
_We'll never get to heaven from this driveway tonight_  
 _You've heard a million promises that's never come through_  
 _Baby, I'm telling you we're due_

 

Sometimes it amazed both of them that they had finally reached what they wanted. Maybe it was only the beginning of their road, but they weren’t afraid anymore that obstacles of whichever kind could lead them astray again.

Pacey softly bit her bottom lip, soothing it immediately by licking the worried flesh and suddenly turned her around in his arms. His hands found the zipper of her dress, pulling it down as he lavished open-mouth kisses on her shoulder and neck.

  
_You can't lose at love_  
You can't lose at love  
_Chose anything you can dream of_  
 _But baby, you can't lose at love_

 

Standing naked in front of each other they finally felt good and comfortable in their own skin. They had seen each other at their lowest lows as well as at their highest highs and at every shade in between.

Life would never be just black or white, not even just shades of gray. It was an assorted collection of colors and you had to keep trying which combinations created the best and the most interesting fusion.

Errors of judgment had to be expected, strokes of luck were desired but any result would be welcomed as part of who they were and as those factors that created their lives.

 

They were ready to face every card life would deal out at them, because they knew they would never lose their love.

 

_Take a chance on me_  
_Cause you can't lose at love_  
 _Take a chance on me_  
 _No, you can't lose at love_  
 _Take a chance on me_  
 _You can't lose at love_  
 _No, you can't lose at love_  
 _You can't lose at love_  
 _You can't lose_  
 _You can't lose._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics taken from: “You Can’t Lose At Love” by Bon Jovi


	10. Epilogue

## Epilogue

“Why is it that every trip home is synonymous with hard, unpaid bodily work?” Pacey complained and mopped his sweating forehead with the napkin Joey was offering him.

“I don’t know, maybe that’s because our _home_ is not really in Capeside anymore and they think our sole purpose in coming down is to help them out?” Joey suggested almost wistfully and passed him on one of the plastic cups filled with Grams’ homemade lemonade that Jen was distributing from the opposite end of the long picnic table.

“Nah, Pacey’s just out of shape. You know, being a paper tiger these days does nothing for your biceps or your condition,” Jack muttered while stuffing the second turkey sandwich in his mouth.

“Hitting the gym more often than your lecture room doesn’t really help _you_ with your studies either, Jackers,” Pacey grumbled narrowing his eyes on Jack’s almost obscenely tight shirt and the muscles he had spent hours to develop.

Compared to him he was definitely not that brawny and he didn’t have time to work on his summer tan either, and the flash of a hue he did catch was long since gone again, but he certainly was no wimp.

“Play nice, kids,” Audrey grinned and slapped Jack playfully on his arm.

“God, I missed this. These few days with all of you will provide me with tons of lines for the next script!” Dawson leaned back, smiled widely and put his arm around Audrey.

“Are you saying I’m not inspiring you enough?” Audrey huffed moving away from him.

“Well, no... not in the PG sense at least,” Dawson mollified quickly but Audrey didn’t seem to be too appeased.

“And this does? Please! Jack is compensating the lack of sex with lifting weights and attacking our resident love birds with his frustration, while Jen serves as multipurpose buffer and moving those damned boxes cost me a fingernail. Nobody wants to see anything of that on screen – be it for kids or not.” Audrey crossed her arms in front of her chest and studied her broken fingernail that she willy-nilly had to rasp to a blunt tip.

“Audrey, darling, I suppose you have a strange affinity for spilling too much information at dining tables?” Grams asked with a smile on her face that softened the sweet reprimand but didn’t miss a beat with the blushing recipient.

“Could I play my only child – slash – spoiled brat – card and blame my parents for my lacking socialization?” she asked remorsefully.

“Nice try, Aud, but that’s nothing to write Grams home about,” Jen giggled and exchanged an amused glance with her grandmother, remembering all too well the absence of her own parents – which was nothing to shout about in Grams’ opinion either.

“And people would die to see something like this on _Friends_ ” Joey piped in, earning herself a shooting-daggers-stare from Audrey.

“Bunny... _do_ you have to encourage him to add insult to injury here?”

“Dramatic much?” Raising her brow Joey leaned forward, grabbing a few chips and returned her glare mockingly.

“See, that’s exactly why it won’t fit on _Friends_ , because this...” Dawson gesticulated wildly, pointing and including everyone. “This is _drama_ or sometimes maybe _dramedy_ and _Friends_ is pure comedy.”

“No, it’s not. It’s definitely dramedy. I mean, considering all the ups and downs, the will they, won’t they odyssey... on second thought,” Jen paused and let her eyes wander around the table. “Did you ever notice that _Friends_ is about six people, three girls, three boys and that we are shockingly alike? Dramedy and odysseys included and accounted for?”  
  


~*~

 

“I still can’t believe that Grams is moving back into her old house... and that it looks as if she’d never been away – at least since those awful curtains have gone,” Joey remarked as they placed plates, cups and glasses into the well-known cupboards.

The couple who had lived in the house over the past two years thankfully didn’t change much, except the horrible bright paint on the walls, something the boys had corrected in less than a day.

“I’m even more surprised, no... amazed... happy that she’s feeling so good and that she can continue her after-treatment at Capeside Memorial.” Jen pushed a strand of her growing hair out of her face. “I swear the prospect of going home helped her heal more than any medication could. Just the few days back in June, when we were shooting the movie for Dawson improved her health so much.”

“Maybe there really is something in the water here,” Joey suggested with a smile. It felt good to be able to joke like that again.

“Who knows, must be.” Jen climbed back up the ladder and motioned for Joey to hand over the next stack of preserving jars. “As much fun as it was living in the posh house in Boston and having Grams with me there, I don’t know... it might be a little far fetched, considering that I have slight doubts concerning our dear roommates in that respect, but I really feel like moving in the apartment was the final push into growing up mode for me.”

“It’s not far fetched, not at all.” Joey licked her lips, considering what Jen had said. “When we started college and when I moved in the dorm, I guess I thought that’s it. I’m all grown up now, living on my own with strangers all around me, doing what I always dreamed about. Truth is... it wasn’t the big <i> _it_ </i> I thought it to be. If anything, it was just the start of a long road and frankly? Living with Pacey and of course with you and Jack, that’s the most grown up thing I’ve done so far. Sharing a dorm room with someone you don’t know from way back when is exciting and interesting, whatever... but living with people you know and love, fully aware of all their little antics and quirks and still finding a way to be with them more or less twenty-four hours each day – that’s the real thing.”

None of the jars had found their way into the cupboard yet and Jen was leaning against the grip bar of the step ladder, staring down at Joey with wide eyes as if she’d just experienced her personal enlightenment – or at least a close equivalent.

“For you two, yes, I mean.... it’s like you’re already married without having written evidence or the big party to celebrate your matrimony. So that’s definitely very grown up. Where Jack and me are concerned I wouldn’t consider us being grown up at all. Pacey is back to being our stockbroker par excellence, you’re shining in your seminars and - cross my heart – you’re working as Hetson’s assistant!” Jen sighed and propped her chin into her hands. “If you look at us, we’re fading into ... white noise in comparison. I’ve still no real clue what to do with my life or what subject I should major in or at least the semblance of a boyfriend? And Jack... he’s more or less the same.”

“Did I hear my name leaving your mouth in a not so favorable way, Jen?” Jack asked in mock hurt. Rounding the corner from the kitchen he had caught the last sentence and confronted her with crossed arms and a scowl on his face.

Pacey followed hot on his heals, quickly gleaning the situation they had walked in on and stepping behind Joey, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Having a nice little girl time while we’re working our asses off?”

“As if...” Joey snorted, snuggling against Pacey’s chest and folding her hands over his.

“Careful there, Potter... remember _who_ exactly painted all these walls here?”

“Right... that was yesterday though. Today all three of you are doing nothing but chatting the day away, leaving all those boxes to us.”

“Josephine, Josephine... I thought you’d know the rules by now: women belong into the house, in the kitchen...”

“Barefoot and pregnant, too, huh?” Jen interrupted him, raising her brow warningly.

“That’s the spirit, Lindley, that’s the spirit,” Pacey nodded affirmative and instinctively tightening his arms so that Joey couldn’t even try to move away from him.

To his surprise she didn’t squirm at all but simply held her left hand up, waving a little so he could catch a glimpse.

“Do you see a ring on my finger? No? Right. No ring means not even considering a pregnancy ... barefoot might be up for discussion and kitchen? You don’t really want _me_ to cook, do you?”

“Uhhh, on second thought... not so much, no,” Pacey chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “You do know that babies don’t pay much attention to rings, right?”

“I do, but I said _not considering_ a pregnancy. _Accidentally_ is a whole different thing... and...”

Joey couldn’t finish her elaboration since Pacey suddenly whirled her around and silenced her with a passionate kiss. All the talking and joking about the subject made him envision the possibility and that in turn was enough to feel the urge to kiss her senseless.

“Not in Grams kitchen! God!” Jen exclaimed alarmed, reverting back into the fifteen year old girl who was lectured by her grandmother that pre-marital sex was an absolute no-no and especially not tolerated under her roof.

 

~*~  
  


“Am I forgiven?” Dawson asked slowly, determined to tread carefully around Audrey for the rest of the day... or the weekend. Over the last months he had developed something like a twelve-step program of what to do when she was pissed off because of something he had done or not done, whatever the case may have been.

“Forgiven?” Audrey’s tone held a little confusion as she was engrossed with unpacking and arranging what little toiletries Grams called her own. The contents of the medicine cabinet still outdid them, even if she didn’t need as much anymore.

“Yeah,” Dawson cleared his throat, leaning against the doorframe, completely taken with the view in front of him. Audrey stretched to place a bottle on the shower shelf which caused her shirt to ride up just enough to show some skin. “For earlier, at lunch, you know.”

“Oh, I already forgot about that,” Audrey turned around and giggled, shaking her head. “You really have to loosen up one day, sweetie. If you take every word too seriously you’ll get into trouble in good old tinsel town.”

“I’m only taking everything _you_ say seriously.”

“Stop groveling and sweet talking me... at least when all our friends are around in a house garnished with religious paraphernalia.”

“Well, as far as I can see,” Dawson licked his lips and scanned the room, winking at her. “No items that could conjure a deep, guilty blush on your face and we’re all alone.” Accentuating his point he gave the door a well measured push, moving towards Audrey as it softly clicked home.

“Getting fresh with me, Leery?” Audrey clicked her tongue against her teeth, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

“Didn’t you just want me to loosen up?” Dawson pulled her close, moving in for a kiss but Audrey wriggled against him and tilted her head to the side.

“Well, not too loose I hope?” she looked pointedly at his crotch, earning herself an indignant huff.

“I’ll show you,” Dawson tightened their embrace, pressing himself intimately against her.

Audrey grinned, already won over and being the vivacious girl that she was, a risky experience like a quickie in Grams bathroom certainly held an undeniable thrill.

Before their little adventure could actually begin a sudden thud against the door caused both to hold their breath. Audrey’s eyes widened at the mere thought of Grams walking in on them and she whispered almost anxiously, “You did lock the door, right?”

Dawson’s bravado flew out of the window, faster than E.T. could mutter _phone home_. “Actually... no.”

Audrey dropped her head on Dawson’s shoulder and sighed. Startled, they watched the door fly open and witnessed two bodies stumbling in, wrangling together in a heap of legs and arms.

Dawson’s eyes slipped shut in a vain attempt to pretend that if he didn’t see them, they wouldn’t see him and Audrey either.

It took another few painfully long seconds until Pacey realized that the bathroom wasn’t exactly empty, along with an additional ten seconds to stop Joey from sucking and nibbling on his bottom lip. Of course it was just his luck that he had backed her into the room and she was as oblivious to their company as anyone could be.

“Oops,” Joey offered finally, unable to stop herself from smirking half guiltily and half amused.

“ _Oops_?” Audrey asked incredulously. “That’s it? Just... _oops_? You’re not mortified and you don’t ossify into a pillar of salt? What happened to my prude roommate?”

“Did you snoop around Grams collection of bibles and biblical stories?” Joey teased, not even trying to remove herself from Pacey. “Told you long ago that I’m much less prim beneath my prudish outer appearance.”

“You’ve corrupted her,” Audrey stated with a nod towards Pacey.

“I’d say it’s a combined effort,” he admitted cheekily.

“A little give and take,” Joey added much to Dawson’s horror.

“Am I the only one who experiences this _meeting_ as being awkward?” he muttered almost accusingly, staring at three smirking faces.

“Now it’s time for loosening up again,” Audrey hinted while patting his back comfortingly.

“Maybe we’re just... acting up a bit?” Joey offered, still playing Siamese twin with Pacey and loving it.

“Since you’re _just_ directing, you’re allowed to lack in that department,” Pacey concluded, eager to encourage Dawson’s horizon in this respective department.

“You know, since we’re all so relaxed and cool about the quasi impromptu orgy... why not?” Audrey ruffed, licking her lips once again. Always being up for a challenge she longed to test the boundaries once more. “Threesomes are so yesteryear and since we’ve all seen each other naked before, why not have some fun with a foursome?” She paused before adding as an afterthought, “Did you notice that that rhymes? _Some_ fun with a four _some_... Don’t they say that everything that rhymes has to be good?”

Dawson was seriously tempted to feel her temperature at that point whereas Pacey and Joey slowly lost their countenance as well. Audrey had beat them again, proving that she was still the wild girl she used to be, even if she showed signs of being tamed once and again.

Any kind of response to her wanton suggestion was thankfully spared by a rather sharp shrilled, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, too bad... saved by the Jenny bell,” Audrey snickered, smoothing her hair back unimpressed with the repeated interruption.

“What is wrong with you? First the kitchen now the bathroom? Am I surrounded by horndogs?”

“Envious because you’re not getting some?” Audrey asked a little too pesky for the others’ taste.

“No, but I’m starting to believe that Grams is right after all. Thinking about it I just might call the vice squad, because I doubt that cold water would do you any good.” Jen crossed her arms in front of her chest, tapping her foot, actually annoyed. Maybe she was a tad envious, but this lewd display was too much for her after being removed from the New York party scene for so long.

“Anything the matter, children? Or what is this commotion all about?” unnoticed by the crowd in the suddenly too small bathroom, Grams had climbed the stairs and peeked her head in.

“So much for the vice squad,” Audrey mouthed in Joey’s direction, who blushed fiercely and hid her face in the crook of Pacey’s neck.  
  


~*~  
  


Grams glanced around her suddenly quiet kitchen. Just a few minutes ago more or less the whole bunch had been busy with preparing the big dinner, setting the table outside and getting the campfire started.

St. Peter must have been really satisfied with all their hard work, because he rewarded them with wonderful weather and unusual high temperatures for late November.

She smiled, thinking about how smooth everything went from the early stages of planning right to the accomplishment of their task. This year she had so many things to be thankful for. Her regained strength and health, the gift of getting her home back and the help of all these people gathered in her garden, who she considered family, not just friends. Without them her move back to Capeside would have been nearly impossible.

Consequently there hadn’t been a better fitting time than the long Thanksgiving weekend for their project.

For her it was like a small miracle that the house looked and smelled just like it did two years ago – only it was even better. Maybe the concept of separation for a certain length of time did have its advantages after all and not only in human relationships.

The flatware was in the very same drawer it had always been, but now she appreciated this knowledge with a new found fondness. She wouldn’t go as far as to think that the time in Boston was a mistake, because it wasn’t. Capeside was her home and she had spent nearly all of her life there, but city life opened her up to new experiences. Never say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks – she had definitely learned a lot.

“Grams? Where are you?” Jen walked through the backdoor, turning her head to catch sight of her gone astray grandmother.

Grams inhaled deeply, still smiling and dropped the dish cloth in the sink. “I’m here, child.”

“Hey,” Jen stepped closer and returned the happy smile that was etched on Grams face. “We’re all done and just waiting for you. It gets more and more difficult to stop the guys from heisting the buffet.”

“They must be hungry. No wonder, though. Would you’ve believed that we would be finished so soon?”

“Well, soon? It took the whole weekend and we had a lot of help,” Jen leaned against the counter, plucking a seedless grape from the bowl in front of her.

“Sure, Jennifer, but it is still amazing to have everything back where it belongs and all is well known but still new. The whole house looks so pretty,” Grams adjusted her skirt and smoothed some invisible creases away. She almost felt as overwhelmed as she did the very first time she set foot into her new home as a married woman all those years ago.

“Yeah, see... I could have told you long ago that a renovation every twenty years or so isn’t _that_ wrong at all,” Jen chuckled, remembering her many futile attempts of convincing Grams to try some beautification or at least a new wallpaper.

“There’s a time for everything in life and I wasn’t ready for changes like that,” Grams dismissed easily and shooed her granddaughter out of the door with a wink of her hand.

After dinner, which was actually an early one so they could make the most of the daylight and the comfortable temperature, Jack patted his full belly and stretched.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I definitely need a little digestion walk.”

“No kidding!” Audrey sighed and yawned sleepily at the same time. Too much work and way too good food had worn her out and even though walking meant she’d have to move her tired limbs, she was itching to join him.

“Why don’t we all go?” Bessie suggested despite being seriously doubtful that she was able to move at all.

“Agreed then,” Pacey declared, standing up and helping Joey in the process.

Simply by habit they found themselves a little while later on Dawson’s dock, leaning against the old wooden railing, each of them reminiscing all those times they had been there before and would probably be there in the future, despite of where their current home was.

“Why is it that we always end up here or for the sake of variety at the docks?” Joey tucked at her read sweater, wishing momentarily that she had taken her coat with her before she felt Pacey’s arm move from her waist up to her shoulders, drawing her closer to himself.

“Habit, I guess,” Dawson shrugged. For him the cool wind moving in from the creek was a welcome refreshment. Although he would never admit it so easily, he was missing the change of seasons in California. The weather in L.A. seemed more or less the same to him all the time. They wouldn’t get any snow there, just rain. It was never really cold, at least measuring in New England standards. In spite of loving every second of being there, working and living his dream with Audrey right at his side, he just knew that at some point he wouldn’t hesitate to move back.

“Lack of other options,” Jen stated dryly before the corners of her mouth morphed into a knowing grin, similar to those she found mirrored on her friends’ faces.

“All of you are drawn to places like this. Be it in Boston, where we spent god knows how many hours near the marina, be it in L.A. – seriously, he’s dragging me down to Malibu Beach _every_ weekend!” Audrey poked Dawson in the side and giggled. “Maybe the water connects all of you with each other, like a bond that’s always there.”

“Like the Northern Star?” Jack suggested, running his hand through his hair, considering the deep meaning in Audrey’s remark.

“Or like the moon. You look up there, knowing that it’s always there, no matter where you are and that those who are not with you can see it, too – just like you,” Pacey added quietly, pulling Joey even closer and brushing his lips against her temple.

There had been several, if not uncountable nights when he had stared into the dark sky, naming star constellations as they used to do on those achingly warm and sultry summer nights on True Love. More than once he might have sent a silent wish to the man in the moon and he couldn’t help but think that he had finally listened to him in the most unlikely places of all: an artificial night sky with haphazardly placed twinkling lights that represented stars on the ceiling of a Kmart in a Bostonian suburb. Who would have ever thought that?

The group fell silent, indulging in memories that suddenly all started to make sense and it was as simply and as clear as a single drop of water. The essence of life was the same as their friendship.

“Awww, doesn’t this just cry for a picture?” Bessie’s voice drifted over to them, her and Grams sauntering towards the dock at a much slower speed.

“What doesn’t in your opinion?” Joey rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. By hindsight she knew that her sister was usually right. Later she probably wouldn’t want to miss a picture of them on this day, just like she wouldn’t want to lose any of the others that were safely tucked away in her scrapbooks. Most were even collected in several different albums.

“Shut up, sis. I know you love them,” Bessie snickered.

“Yes, that would be nice,” Grams agreed wholeheartedly and pulled a camera out of her handbag.

“You’re carrying a camera around with you?” Jen was surprised, not knowing that she even had one.

“Well, now that I’m here in Capeside and you children are spread all over the country, at least on both coasts, I thought it would be nice to have you all together in a picture. I almost forgot about it with all the things we had to do and there wasn’t a good opportunity offering itself either...”

“Okay, okay... let’s take a picture then,” Jen conceded not without an eye-roll of her own.

Bessie smiled and ordered them into a nice arrangement, but Grams wasn’t having any of that sterile looking, staged scenarios. While Jack, Jen, Dawson, Joey, Pacey and Audrey linked arms and stepped forward to line up against the backdrop of the creek, she raised the camera to her eyes and took the perfect snapshot. A photograph full of life, happiness, movement and reality. A technique she had learned so long ago from the love of her life and she was sure he was winking at her from somewhere up above, nodding and mumbling, “That’s it Evie, that’s the golden shot.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


“What are you doing?” Joey yawned and sleepily opened one eye to look at Pacey who was already up and dressed.

“I’ve got to make a quick run to the office...” Pacey explained as he struggled with his tie, something he was mysteriously unable to master, despite his otherwise very handy abilities.

Joey’s eyes widened in confusion and then narrowed back in on his face. “It’s Christmas, Pace.”

“Uh... technically that’s tomorrow morning, or this night... besides the stock closes at one p.m. today, not tomorrow.” Pacey muttered some expletives under his breath before letting his arms fall helplessly to his sides.

“There must be something wrong with this tie... it’s un-bindable.”

“Or... you’re just un-talented,” Joey teased and patted the mattress next to her.

“I happen to think that my fingers are very skilled, thank you very much,” Pacey grumbled but moved over to her and sat down, bracing his arms on both sides of her.

“You can hardly compare _that_ skill with the fine art of arranging a silken tie.”

“Are you sure about _that_?” Licking his lips he dared her to disagree, just so that he could prove her wrong, momentarily forgetting that he was on his way out.

“I just thought we could go and...I don’t know. It’s just that this is the first time we won’t spend Christmas in Capeside, you know?” Joey averted her eyes from his as she easily fixed his tie. The seasonally induced melancholy must have affected her more than she’d thought.

“And I thought we decided to stay in Boston exactly for that reason, to have the holidays for ourselves, having the apartment to ourselves...indulging in a big city New Year’s celebration and then heading down to the Cape for a nice winter vacation in January when everybody else is working?” Pacey’s voice dropped to a soothing murmur.

“Yeah, I know... and it’s great that Hetson gave me the week off...” Joey sighed and rolled her eyes. “Ignore me, I’m just emotional and only half awake.”

“You’re sure? We could still beat Santa to the cookies and be there this evening.” Stroking her cheek gently with his thumb he searched her eyes. One word from her and they would be in Capeside as fast as his car could make it.

“Nah, I’m sure. We have our own little tree here, and... I’m really looking forward to that, creating more history for us. Really.” Joey laced her hand with Pacey’s, flipping it so that she could kiss the back of his.

“Okay, then... well, I guess Santa already knows that we’re here, since he already left a present for us,” Pacey pointed to their nightstand.

“Seems like it.” Joey smiled and glanced at the newly framed picture sitting under the lamp. “That was so nice of Grams to send us the Thanksgiving picture for Christmas.”

“That it was. Another Christmas tradition of ours, huh? People love to give us pictures.” Pacey chuckled and nodded at the other picture they received from Dawson three years ago.

“A very nice tradition,” Joey smiled before a mischievous glimmer turned into a full smirk. “I kinda got used to your beard... what a surprise.”

Pacey grinned and rubbed his fully grown back beard thoughtfully. The first traces of it were captured in the photograph, although it resembled more a shadow than anything else at Thanksgiving.

“After I convinced you of its many advantages and... _talents_... I wouldn’t call that a surprise!" he finally declared with an accompanying wiggle of his eyebrow.

“Perv,” Joey scolded with her tongue peeking out behind her teeth.

“Prude.” Some things would definitely never change, no matter how obsolete the taunting banter was by then. “Go back to sleep, sweetie. I promise I’ll be home no later than two p.m., bearing your beloved Gingerbread Muffin.”

“That sounds like a deal,” Joey agreed and sat up, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Oh, and don’t think I don’t know that you just go in to swipe the leftovers of those insanely unnecessary gifts your firm has been sending to your poor customers.”

“Shut up, Miss Grinch,” Pacey kissed the tip of her nose, of course she was right – in a way at least. Some of those free gadgets would find their way into the apartment, no doubt about that.

 

~*~

 

Joey still chuckled after Pacey had already left the room, secretly very happy that she could snuggle back into their warm, cozy bed. Before her eyes slipped shut again, she gazed again at the photograph. At some time of the previous evening, Pacey had snatched it away and adorned the glass with a note that made her tingle all over. The message was simple and at the same time the essence of everything that meant anything in her world.

“PS: You make my heart happy...”

 


End file.
